Never Bet on Something Worth Losing
by dazzled10
Summary: Running from her past Bella and her family moves to Forks. A bet, new friendships and past thats haunting her almost distroys her. Is Bella strong enough to overcome it all and move forward?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Stephenie Meyers owns Twilight, I own the laptop that wrote this baby.**

**A special thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and to my beta crazierthanu you both rock. I would have never had the courage to post this without you ladies.**

**Chapter 1**

**Leaving the Sun**

I pulled down the shade to the window on the plane. I sat back with a huff and grabbed my favorite book _Wuthering Heights. _I opened it to the place I left off and pretended to read. I was not in the mood to read, watch a movie or do anything actually. I didn't even find comfort in talking to my Mom like I usually did.

My Mom, Renee, was my best friend. She was like having another teenager in the house. She was the same height as me but with lighter, shorter hair. She was free-spirited and often took me on wild adventures which I loved every minute of.

We would spend hours just talking together about everything, even the guys I liked or went out with a few times. I would cry to her when my friends and I would get into arguments. I could tell her everything.

Now though when I look at her I can't help but think I let her down.

I am the reason we are moving to Forks, Washington. My family had to uproot their whole lives because of my actions. As soon as my Mom told my Dad we had to move, he started looking for work.

Dad worked for the Phoenix PD up 'til 3 days ago. He was working his way to becoming a detective back in Phoenix, where he would have made a lot more money. Instead of that he is going to be the Chief of Police in a town that only has a little over 3000 people. I had 2500 students just in my school alone in Arizona.

He told me he had dreamt of moving to a smaller town for many years, but my Mom would never agree to it.

Charlie and I are a lot alike. I'm definitely my father's daughter. He has dark brown hair and big chocolate brown eyes, which my Mom said that made her fall in love with him.

My dad is a man of few words and never invades my privacy. I know my Dad would do anything for me, hence our move to Forks.

"Sweetie, I know you are not reading that book since you have been staring at it for the last twenty minutes," my Mom said to bring me out of my reverie," are you worried about starting school on Monday?"

If, that was my biggest problem -school. A new town, a new school, it was what I was looking forward to. I could go in being plain Jane and no one would have any idea that I was once a popular girl. I was looking forward to blending in with all the other kids as Bella, girl next door, nothing special.

In Phoenix I was Isabella. I was head cheerleader and voted Most Popular. My friends were the cheer team and football players. We had our own table at lunch that no one else would ever occupy. We went and did everything together. Even the teachers looked the other way when we walked in late to class. Being undefeated in both football and cheer, we ruled the school.

"I'm not worried about starting school Mom, I feel terrible for having caused you and Dad to leave everything," I told her. She wrapped her arms around me and I put my head on her shoulder.

"Don't be silly, baby, your Dad always wanted to move to a small town anyway. I am the city girl, and I suppose you are too, but we will do fine. I hear they have a mall in Port Angeles. Maybe we can take a day trip there and buy new clothes. We are going to need something warmer than what we brought," Mom said, trying to convince herself and me.

I nodded 'yes' and sat back in my chair.

I was going to miss my best friend, Jacob the most. He was not in the popular group, but was a great friend to me.

I loved spending time with him and we were always together. Since the age of 5 we were always either at my house or his. He used to be a scrawny, shirtless kid with long jet-black hair. He loved to play in the mud and fix bikes in his garage.

Recently he had cut his hair, wearing it in spikes. He also had begun to work out constantly, resulting in extreme buff-ness and hotness. He was a year younger than I was, and it was my job to fight the skanks who hounded him.

He was too nice of a guy and I felt he deserved much better.

I loved spending time in his garage watching him fix cars, which he said made him older. Whatever.

Jacob was the only one who knew where we were moving to. I think we were going to spend a lot of time text messaging. I was going to miss my 'sunshine'.

When we called the school to register me, they informed us that they had a buddy system when someone new started. They've got to be kidding me right? I told them I didn't need it but they insisted. I don't think they usually get very many new students and they were excited to use their buddy system.

I was to meet a Mary Alice Brendon… no Brandon? Someone…in the office on Monday morning.

Before I knew it the 'fasten seatbelt light' came on and the captain informed us that we were going to start our descent to Sea-Tac airport. From there it was another hour drive into Forks.

I hoped our stuff had already arrived at the house.

Charlie…oh, my Dad, (don't tell him I call him Charlie behind his back)., said the movers left 3 days ago to arrive before us.

I put my book away and grabbed my purse so that when the doors opened I was the first one off the plane. I always felt claustrophobic on planes.

I made my way down the terminal to where the luggage ended up and I waited. I grabbed all of our luggage before my Mom and Dad finally came down to help.

I wanted to get home and start unpacking. It would take my mind off of everything that was going on.

Charlie rented a car to take us into Forks. He sold our car in Phoenix and was buying a new one tomorrow. He said I could go with him to pick it out, which I was kind of excited about. I hoped that he would get a cool car and let me drive it sometimes.

We piled all our things in the rental and made the trip to Forks. I fell asleep in the back, waking up when we pulled up to the house. My mom was giggling and calling my name.

"Isabella, wake up sleepy head we are home! You're talking in your sleep again, silly girl. And no, Icky Vicky is not here," she said.

Why was I dreaming about Victoria? It was probably a nightmare. I don't remember, just thinking of her gave me chills.

I stretched my arms and got out of the car to look at my new house.

This house was a lot bigger than my house back in Phoenix.

It was two stories, was white on the outside with green trim. Our old house had just 2 small rooms. This one had 3 rooms, and my room was a lot bigger than my old one. It also had a walk-in closet.

Now if I had this back in Phoenix I would have been in heaven. But I just couldn't come to care about a closet any more. When I packed to leave for Forks, I threw out most of my clothes. Designer jeans and brand name tops was the old me. I kept the essentials and tossed the rest. I was turning over a new leaf and what was important to me then was not what was important to me now. I had my own bathroom which I loved. A girl needs her own, right? Who wants to share a bathroom with her Dad? My bed was already in my room with a few boxes. I looked for my bedding and made the bed.

The kitchen was a girl's dream comes true. It was huge with an Island in the middle, big stove, separate oven and a fridge that look like a cabinet with wood paneling on the outside.

I loved to cook. I had been cooking since I was about 11 years old. My Mom hated cooking, so we used to eat out all the time. One day I was so tired of it that I told her I wanted to cook.

After that, she enrolled me in a cooking class for kids and I was off making my own meals. My grandma also taught me a lot. Now I don't cook all the time, but when I do, I love it.

I was about to lie down when my Mom said we were going to the small diner in town to eat since all the stuff was still packed.

I went and got in the car to wait for my parents, hoping they would hurry. I was kind of hungry after all.

The diner was a small family owned business. Only a few kids were there, laughing and talking while they ate their food. I figured that they probably went to my new school.

The waitress came by and asked if we were passing through. My Dad told her that he was going to be the new chief of police.

Everyone in the place turned around, hearing that. My cheeks blushed a bright pink.

She welcomed us and said dessert was on the house. The food was good and the berry cobbler was to die for.

After eating, I was stuffed and ready to go home to get to sleep. My Dad thanked her, paid the bill and we were on our way home.

Once we were home, I crawled into bed and turned out the lights.

The sounds were different. Instead of the sounds of passing cars, I was met with wind, rain, creaking trees and wolves. And owls?

I also missed the brightness of the city lights.

I pulled the blanket up over my head and covered my ears with a pillow, falling into a deep slumber.

A/N:

So there you go the first chapter to my first story. I will be hiding under a rock if you need me.


	2. Chapter 2 The F Bomb

**Disclaimer:**

I know, I know, I don't own Twilight.

Thanks to **Lady Tazz** for reading. To my beta **crazierthanu** for being the awesome person you are. Forgot to mention a special thanks to Allie for being my first ever reader.

**Chapter 2**

**The F Bomb**

I woke to the alarm on the night stand in my new room, in my new house, screaming at me to get up and get ready to go to my new school.

Forks High or The F Bomb as I have been calling it.

I wondered if the students here were anything like those from my old school. Rowdy teenagers that had nothing else to do except cause trouble for those around them, and the cliques, the popular students that ruled the school. God I hoped not.

I also hoped that I could go under the radar and no one would notice that a new girl had started. I doubted that would happen since I was to meet a certain Mary Alice Brandon so I wouldn't feel so stressed on my first day.

Little did they know that meeting this person and following her around all day would be stressful for me.

With a loud grunt I turned off the alarm and made my way to the bathroom.  
I took a shower and let the hot water warm my muscles and relax me. After, I got out of the shower, I dried off and got dressed.

I already had my clothes picked out the night before. Nothing too flashy, remembering that this was a new start for me. I chose a pair of jeans, a blue knit blouse, and a big overcoat. It would probably be raining after all.

I brushed my teeth and put my hair in a ponytail. I took a quick look in the mirror "Plain enough," I thought to myself.

I went downstairs and grabbed a bowl of cereal. Once I was done eating I grabbed the keys to the new car my dad had purchased for me.

My Dad had thought it was a good idea that I went with him to purchase his new car. I thought he just wanted to have some father- daughter time. Little did I know he had planned on purchasing a new car for me too.

My dad bought a brand new Ford Explorer and I was able to get my hands on a little Ford Focus. Mine was used and I had to find a job to pay for the insurance myself but other than that the car was mine.

I got in my car and made my way to the new school. It was not too hard to find, being in a small town like Forks. Everything was off the highway.

I pulled into the parking lot and found that not too many cars were there yet.

I looked around; it seemed only 3 cars were there so far, a silver Volvo, a red convertible and a black jeep. I parked across from them; they obviously knew one another because they all parked next to each other.

I wondered if one of those cars belonged to that Mary Alice person I was meeting.

I got out of the car and made my way to the front office. This school was so small compared to my old one. I think I read it only had 350 students.

I made it into the office and told the friendly grey-haired lady I was Bella Swan, there to pick up my schedule for my first day and to meet Mary Alice.

"Wait over there," she said, pointing to the set of chairs along the wall of the office."Alice has your schedule. She should be here in a few minutes."

"Hi! You must be Isabella Swan," a petite girl with short spiky, brown hair said as I looked up. She was really cute and so tiny I wanted to ask her if she actually attended the school.

"Just Bella" I informed her. "Mary Alice?"

"Oh God, please, just Alice" she squealed.

She bounced up and down with excitement, like she had the energy of the Energizer bunny. She practically sprinted out of the office and down the hall and I had to run to keep up with her. I wondered what clique she belonged too. .

This was going to be a very long day.

"Alice, where is the fire?" I asked.

"Oh sorry, I get ahead of myself. Please stop me if I talk too much," she said.

She started with the gym. It surprised me that I had to take gym when back home it only went to tenth grade.

She continued on the journey, telling me about herself and her friends. She had a best friend named Edward, whom she lived next door to. They had grown up together. I couldn't help but smile at the fact that she also had a male best friend.

Edward was the captain of the baseball team. She also told me about Emmett and Jasper, both also on the baseball team. She has a big crush on Jasper but he didn't notice her. She told me about Rosalie, her only female friend. She said I would meet them all at lunch time.

It sounded like they were popular. Figured. Just my luck.

"Oh Alice, I don't have to sit with you at lunch, I don't want to intrude," I informed her.

Me sit with the popular kids? I didn't think that would happen.

"Don't be silly Bella, I am your buddy today and I plan to monopolize you the entire time," she giggled.

I laughed along with her but I was concerned about spending lunch with them, even though Alice seemed friendly enough.

Alice asked me about my old school and what I liked to do during my free time.

I also told her about my new car and how I had to find a job to pay for the insurance.

Although I told her that my Dad wanted to move to a small town and was now the new chief of police, I wasn't comfortable to let her know the real reason behind our move to Forks.

Before I knew it the bell rang which indicated it was time for school to start.

"I will be right here to pick you up for your next class, which, by the way, I also have. Bella I can tell that you and I are going to be great friends." She hugged me and walked away.

I shook my head, I doubted whether she really would want to be my friend. Even though Alice might able to accept me doesn't mean her friends would.

The day went on like that all day. The period ended and Alice was at the door to pick me up.

Fourth period I worked as a helper in the library. She dropped me off and said she would be there later to pick me up for lunch.

I walked in to find the librarian and to get my assignment. I didn't know that working in the library involved tutoring or I would have never chosen it.

"I don't know if I can tutor anyone," I informed Mrs. Cope.

"Of course you can, that is why we allowed you to pick it. After receiving your GPA, we were very impressed," she informed me.

I was assigned to help out Emmett McCarty. I wondered if it was the same Emmett that Alice was talking about.

A few minutes later, a dark, curly haired guy walked into the room. He was so tall and muscular, and intimidating.

Smiling at me with a big dimply smile he waved his hand at me like he had known me forever.

I turned around to see if he was actually waving at me or at someone behind me. I reached out my hand to shake his hand to introduce myself.

"Bella, I think you know my friend Alice. You know - the short pixie that talks non-stop," Emmett grinned.  
"Yeah I think I met her. Is she always like that? I thought she'd had too much sugar this morning," I giggled.

"Yeah that's her. Let's take a seat," he said, gesturing to the round table next to us.

"What subject do you need me to tutor you in?" I questioned.

"English, I'm not an idiot but I just don't get what I am reading sometimes. Seriously, is it important to analyze Romeo and Juliet?" he asked.

"Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite books. Emmett, today is your lucky day. I know that book like the back of my hand. I read it for pleasure sometimes."

I don't know what possessed me to give up so much information about myself.

We spent the next hour talking about how Romeo was so in love with Rosaline and he wanted to marry her.

Emmett interrupted me, looking bewildered "Wait…I thought he was in love with Juliet?"

"Let me finish," I answered him.

I continued the story about how Rosaline wanted to become a nun. Romeo went to a party with his cousin. He wanted Romeo to see that there were other people out there for him. Romeo saw Juliet walking down the stairs, and asked his cousin about her. He then walked up to her to talk to her and, it was love at first sight. Rosaline was forgotten.

Before I knew it the hour was up.

"Well, Bella it has been a pleasure," Emmett said.

Alice was waiting at the entrance to the library.

We walked to the cafeteria, trying to avoid the steady rainfall that was occurring. The cafeteria was located in the middle of the school there is benches on the outside but they are never used do to the rain. The halls were crowded, everyone trying to avoid the rain.

We got in line to grab food. I bought pizza and a soda, and Alice got a burrito, bag of chips and water.

I told her I had met Emmett and that I tutored him last period.

"Well, that was probably a challenge for you," Alice said.

She knew Emmett was not one for paying much attention. It was true as I had to constantly tell him to focus. He seemed like a pretty nice guy though, not a hint of the cockiness I thought a baseball player would have.

Maybe the popular kids are not like that here.

"Bella, this is Rose, Jasper and you've already met Emmett. Everyone - this is Bella," Alice said as she introduced us.

"Where is Edward? Alice wondered.

"He had to meet with the coach about something. I doubt he will make it to lunch today," Emmett informed us.

"So how exactly do you know MY Emmett?" Rose questioned, making sure I understood that he belonged to her.

"Babe, she helped me with my English, did you know that Romeo was going to marry some chick name Rosaline? I always thought it was just about Romeo and Juliet. Who knew?" Emmett went on ranting.

Everyone laughed, including Rose, and I was glad the tension evaporated.

Lunch with the F Bomb crew was not as bad as I'd thought it would be.

Everyone was very welcoming and they made me feel like I belonged, even though I did not want to belong to any popular crowd.

I really enjoyed hanging out with Alice and I could see us being friends.

Before I knew it, school had ended.

I made my way back to my car.

When I reached the parking lot, I saw Alice getting into the passenger's side of the silver Volvo. A tall, bronze-haired boy getting into the driver's side. I couldn't see his face but I guessed it must be the Edward Alice was talking about. He was the only one of her friends that I hadn't met.

I wondered if there was something more going on with Edward and Alice as they seemed kind of cozy.

When I walked into the front door I heard that the phone was ringing, so I ran to get it. It was Alice.

"Alice, I just got home how did you know...," I trailed off.

"Bella, I was wondering if you would be interested in to going to Port Angeles with us on Saturday. I know it is a few days away but I didn't want you to make plans before I could ask you. Please Bella, please say you will come. After all I...,"

I interrupted her.

"Alice, Alice you don't have to beg me. I will go with you. I need to get some warmer clothes anyway. Does it ever stop raining?" I laughed into the phone.

"Bella you're not in Phoenix any more, it rains more often than not. Anyway, I thought you were going to give me a hard time about going. Ok, I will have Edward pick you up," I interrupted again.

"Wait. Why is Edward picking me up? We don't know each other. We can take my car.."

"No, Bella. Anyways, you will meet him tomorrow. He promised me he would be at lunch. He always drives me to Port Angeles. He is way too over-protective and doesn't like me going by myself. And, since I don't have a car, because my parents refuse to buy me a Porsche, he is my ride...everywhere," she ranted.

"Hmmm...ok, Alice, I have to go. I am putting an application in at the sporting goods store. Gotta get that job you know," I told her, then we said good bye.

After dinner and homework, I laid in my bed thinking about the day. It was not as bad as expected. The only down side was that I was already becoming too attached to Alice.

I am not sure if that was a good thing or bad.

A/N: No Edward still *sad face* He should be around the next chapter. Thanks for reading.


	3. Chapter 3 First Impressions

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't know Twilight, but it is so much fun playing with the characters. Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for being a wonderful beta and making things flow. Let's start this off with Edward…..**

**Chapter 3**

**First Impressions**

**EPOV**

Alice harassed me when I took her home about not being available to meet her new friend Isabella Swan. Oh right – Bella. She doesn't like Isabella, much like Alice hates when people call her 'Mary'.

I had the game plans to go over with the coach so I had to skip my lunch. I promised that I would be there to have lunch with them tomorrow.

I met up with Emmett before school the next day to talk about the game plan, but his mind was preoccupied because Rosalie's birthday was coming up because he did not know what to get her.

"See, man, that is why it is better not to have a girlfriend. You don't have to worry about those things. Girls are never happy any way," I told him.

I've seen it and experienced it much too often. I felt like I was the conquest of most of the girls that attended Forks High.

Edward Cullen- the baseball captain - be with him and all of a sudden the girl is treated like a queen by all the rest. I didn't want that, I didn't need that and besides no one was worth it.

"Oh, really? Why are you so cynical my friend? Are you saying that any girl that goes out with you will automatically become popular because of who she is dating?" Emmett asked.

"I'm not trying to be cynical nor do I think I am too good. I am just saying that is how it is," I told him.

It wasn't that I thought I was better than anyone else, I just knew how these girls acted. That is why I didn't date.

"Are you willing to make a little wager then?" Emmett asked.

He was the biggest gambler I knew. He would bet anyone, on anything, even if he knew he would lose.

"What are we betting about?" I questioned.

"YOU," he stated, "You say you can get any girl to become popular, I want to see you do it. I pick the girl though and by next Homecoming, she has to be popular enough to win Homecoming Queen."

He rubbed his hands together and smiled at me.

"What do I get if I make it happen?" I asked.

I still was not sure if I wanted to accept this bet. After all, I wondered if Emmett would pick the ugliest girl that attended this school.

I was not sure if I could work miracles.

"If you win, I will give you my Jeep. If I win, you step down as captain and I get appointed."

"Emmett, I think you have yourself a bet. I'm going to hate taking away your Jeep from you," I teased.

"Not going to happen. I'm sure that by the time this is all over, you are going to be in love with the girl I choose. You are then going to call off the bet, which means, I will win."

Holding out his hand to shake, I took it and the bet was made.

"Don't choose someone ugly though, or I will kick your ass."

I socked him in the arm.

"Man, don't worry. I already have the girl in mind and you will get to meet her at lunch. Just be ready. It starts after you meet her," Emmett told me.

I went on to class, looking at all the girls wondering which one Emmett would pick. I swore if he chose someone remotely ugly I would forfeit and he could be captain.

Lunch time approached and as I was walking to the cafeteria Emmett came up to me and told me I was going to soon meet the love of my life. I rolled my eyes at him and walked through the doors headed for the lunch line to grab pizza and a soda.

I went to the usual table, sat down and Em came to sit next to me.

When I saw Alice she was with a girl I had not seen before. She was probably Bella.

Alice waved at me but my eyes were fixed on Bella. She had long brown hair, pulled in a pony tail and big chocolate brown eyes. She wore skinny jeans, a pair of Converse sneakers and a white long-sleeved shirt layered with a blue shirt.

She was cute and she wasn't even trying.

Emmett leaned over and said, "There is your girl Edward, go get her."

"What? No, that's not fair! She is new here and I don't even know her," I was panicking. I never panicked.

Alice sat down on the other side of the table and pulled Bella down into the seat next to her.

"Bella, this is Edward… Edward, Bella."

We both said awkward 'hi's'. I continued to eat my pizza.

"So, Emmett, how is "Romeo and Juliet" coming along for you?" Bella asked.

"Great, now that I have an awesome tutor," he told her.

"Oh…you are tutoring Em?" I looked at her. "God help you and you're still here? You must have the patience of a saint."

"It's not bad, when he pays attention," she giggled, "and it is one my favorite books, so...," she trailed off waving her hand like it was no big deal.

"So you are a fan of the classics or just sappy over-the-top love stories? Don't tell me you're a hopeless romantic."

I had to figure this girl out if I was ever going to win this bet.

She snorted, "Just a fan of the classics, not into romance whatsoever," she rolled her eyes.

I took it that she'd been hurt.

I watched Bella interact with everyone. She was timid and shy, avoided major questions when asked about herself or her old school. She bit her lip when she was deep in thought or when she seemed a bit nervous.

I was going to have to watch her a few more days to size her up before I made my move. This was going to be fun.

**BPOV**

Alice went on and on about meeting Edward. Everything was Edward this and Edward that. He was the best ball player and was going somewhere. She wouldn't be surprised if the major leagues grabbed him right out of college.

"Alice?" I questioned, "Do you and Edward...like have a past together or something?"

The way she talked about him was like he was the next best thing to sliced bread.

"What? No way! He is like a big brother to me. God, Bella! I'm just proud of him that's all. But I do think you would be perfect for him."

"Alice, please don't go setting me up. I really don't want to get involved with anyone. I'm kind of done with relationships," I informed her.

That was the last thing I needed. The last one I had was a disaster and part of the reason I was now in Forks. If I screwed up again they might just send me away.

Once we got to the lunch table Edward and Emmett were already seated. Emmett was leaning next to Edward's ear whispering something to him and staring at me. I wondered if they were talking about me.

Alice introduced us as I sat down next to Alice. They were all talking and I really was not paying attention. I was just looking around the cafeteria at all the students, noticing the cliques.

I was definitely sitting with the popular kids. A few kids who wished they were sitting at the popular table looked me up and down. I was sure they wondered how I was able to get in with this group just after a few days of school.

Edward brought me back to the present when he asked about tutoring Emmett. He said he was sorry I had to do it, and knew Emmett was not one to pay attention.

I didn't know how many times I had to stop and tell Emmett to listen. He loved to talk and he was so distracted.

Edward caught me off guard when he made his comment about the classics and being a 'hopeless romantic'. I felt like he was sizing me up, or trying to figure me out.

Lunch ended and Alice said she would call me after school. I informed her that I had a job interview at the local library so I would call her after to let her know how it went.

I was getting ready to start walking to my next class when Edward came up beside me.

"Where are you headed?" he asked.

"Ummm... Biology, Building 3," I said.

"Oh, Miss Carmen, . I am going to Biology, as well, mind if I walk with you?" he smiled at me.

Who could resist that smile? _Oh no, I could resist that smile, get over it Bella!_

"I don't mind," I stuttered hoping he wouldn't notice.

"I couldn't help but hear that you have an interview at the library. Are you looking for a job?" he asked.

"Yeah. Why, do you have one for me?" I laughed.

"No, just that my Mom is the head librarian and I was thinking I could put in a few words for you," he suggested.

I did not want him to call in any favors for me.

"Oh? Alice said your Mom restored old houses," I questioned, and thought that maybe he was lying to me.

"She does, but that is her side business. She has been working at the library Monday through Friday for years, ever since I started school. She said the house was empty and she needed to keep busy. She likes restoring houses but that is more like a hobby than anything else. I don't mind talking to her though, I'm sure you would get the job," he informed me.

His mom sounded great, so I wondered if I should just let him put in a good word for me and that way I wouldn't have to keep looking any more.

"Okay, if you want to, but don't like beg her or anything. Just maybe mention me so that she will consider me," I begged him and he agreed.

Edward dropped me off in front of Building 3 and said good bye. I started walking into my biology class room when I noticed he was walking across the yard to Building 5.

So…he lied about where he was going? Did he just want to walk with me to talk about the library position or was there something more going on?

The afternoon went by fast. When I reached my car I noticed a note on the outside of the windshield.

_Spoke to my Mom, she has your application, she is the one doing the interview, lucky you. Her name is Esme, I think you pretty much have the position ~ Edward_

I was worried now. What did he say to her?

I got in the car and drove to the library. I asked for Mrs. Cullen as soon as I arrived. The bubbly front desk receptionist called her, and smiled at me. She gave me a few looks up and down before she hung up the phone and gestured for me to have a seat.

I noticed a petite woman, young looking, with shoulder-length bronze-colored hair walking down the hall. This might be Mrs. Cullen.

Her eyes were light brown but the shape was similar to Edward's and I definitely saw where Edward got his smile.

"Isabella?"

"Bella, please…Mrs. Cullen?" I asked.

"Call me Esme. Let's go to my office. Edward seems to be very fond of you. I can see why."

What? Fond of me? He just met me! I gave her a weak smile and squirmed in my seat.

"Well, the job is pretty simple. Mondays, Wednesdays - three to six and Saturday mornings - nine to noon. You will be in charge of checking out the books in the children's section and on Saturday you will be reading during "Story Time" to the kids for an hour from ten to eleven. The last girl I had to let go because she never seemed to enjoy herself. Do you like to read Bella?"

Esme looked at me like she already knew the answer. I am sure Edward told her about me tutoring Emmett and my love for the classics.

"Very much so Mrs...Esme" I smiled at her, "I enjoy reading a lot and I think I will enjoy reading to the kids too." I tried to sound enthusiastic but it frightened me to think about reading out loud to the kids.

"The job is yours if you want it Bella," she smiled at me.

"Oh thank you Esme, I appreciate it a lot."

I stood up and shook her hand. She said I could start next week, but I needed to come by the next day to fill out some paper work. Also, since I was under-aged, I needed to have a parent come with me.

I got to my car and found another note on the windshield. I looked around to see if I could see Edward's car anywhere. I opened the note once I sat in the car.

_Hope it went well, give me a call to let me know ~ Edward_

He left his phone number on the note. Moving way too fast, I told myself.

Esme's words rang in the back of my mind, _"Edward seems to be very fond of you."_

I shook my head. I was not going to call Edward.

When I saw him the next day at school, I would let him know that I appreciated what he did for me. I would let him know that I thought that he was being a kind _friend_ but that is all we would ever be.

I was not the girl I used to be. Be with the captain of the baseball team, really? I didn't want to fall down that path again.

My Mom was attempting to cook chicken enchiladas for dinner when I got home. The chicken was boiling in the pot and the tortillas were fried too hard. I sighed knowing I was going to have to take over.

Thank God Gran and cooking classes taught me how to cook. I missed my Gran.

"Bella sweetie, how did it go?" my Mom asked.

"Mom what are you doing? Turn the chicken down. You do know the tortillas are fried too hard, don't you?"

She just shrugged her shoulders and pulled out the tortillas and handed them to me.

"Yeah - anyways, I got the job," I told her.

I left out the part about Edward helping me get that job.

After dinner I helped my Mom clean up and do the dishes.

I was on my way up stairs when my phone rang and the caller ID showed an unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"You didn't call," the velvety voice whined on the other end.

"Edward?" I played dumb, "I didn't know I was supposed to."

"Didn't you get my note at the library?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, thought I was supposed to call you later? I just got done with dinner," I lied, "how did you get my number?" I questioned, kind of irritated.

"Alice. I hope you don't mind. I just wanted to tell you congratulations, my Mom told me."

I thanked him and told him I had homework to finish. He said okay and said he would see me tomorrow.

I hung up the phone and took a shower, did some homework and went to bed.

I had a restless night of sleep, as I tossed and turned.

I dreamt about Edward. He came to the library on Saturday. He was the only one listening to me read during "StoryTime", and smiling at me. I woke up with a start. 'It was only a dream', I told myself and tried to go back to sleep.

Sleep finally took over and before I knew it, it was morning.

I looked at the clock, thinking about the dream while flashes of Edward shot through my mind.

I saw him at the lunch table, I saw him walking me to my class.

This was going to be harder than I thought. It seemed I was just intrigued by him as he was by me.

A/N: So there you go, what do you think of Edward? Things should start to get interesting now. Thanks for reading.


	4. Chapter 4 Keeping Up

**Disclaimer:**

SM owns Twilight

Thanks to **Lady Tazz** for pre-reading and **crazierthanu** for beta'ing this crazy thing. Kind of a short chapter let's get on with it shall we…

**Chapter 4**

**Keeping Up**

The following day at school was an eventful one. Alice and Edward both met me at my car when I arrived at school. Alice congratulated me on the new job and Edward just smiled down at me. Alice said we should go out to celebrate. I told her it was not that big of a deal and that it was not all my doing, as I took a quick glance at Edward.

"Whatever Bella, it is a big deal to me. Anyway, they are having a pep rally at lunch time. Let's eat in the quad so you will get to see Rose in action," she said bouncing up and down with excitement.

"I'm sure that is what Bella wants… to watch Rose and spend her lunch eating outside in the cold," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

"Stop, Edward. Rose is the new head cheerleader this year and she is having a rough time. She needs all the support she can get," Alice chided.

Alice told me that the school had never won any cheer competitions. Rose had been working really hard to get them ready but it had not been easy for her. The cheer squad was out of practice and had never had a strong leader like Rose. I agreed to stay and support Rose.

My curiosity was also getting the best of me as I wondered how good of a leader Rose actually was.

Emmett, Edward and Jasper joined us in the quad. Alice was bouncing off the walls because Jasper was there. Jasper was one of Edward's best friends and she had a major crush on him.

When he came and sat next to her, she blushed and smiled. I just rolled my eyes. Alice should just ask him out already.

Edward came and sat right next to me, I looked at him questioningly.

"You don't mind me sitting here do you?" he asked, flashing me his smile. I shook my head.

The cheer team came out and Rose waved to where we were sitting. They started their first routine. The form was good but the cheers were out-dated and the 3 girls that were tumbling were off.

The music needed to be changed also. I wondered if I would be able to suggest things to Rose without her questioning me as to how I knew the information.

I knew how tough it was to try to be a good leader and to have to figure out everything on your own.

As I saw Rose lead them I could tell she was a strong leader. She always held her head up high and never once looked down on the squad when they missed a step or went out of sync.

I had seen it happen when the leader would become pissed because the squad messed up and the leader didn't care if she embarrassed the squad in front of everyone. I hated the competitions so much. Everyone was so fake and bitchy.

Alice brought me back to the present.

"You're really enjoying this aren't you?" she asked.

"Well, you said Rose needed support, so I want to be able to give her quality feedback if she should ask. You should be paying attention too, instead of ogling over Mr. Wonderful over there," I said, motioning towards Jasper.

"Bella!" she giggled and started watching the cheerleading.

When the rally was over Rose came over to us and sat down next to Emmett and started asking Alice what she thought.

"I think you were great Rose. You guys looked good out there. Is that your routine for the cheer competition next month?" Alice asked Rose, who nodded yes.

I thought, 'wow next month', I hope she could get them in better shape by then.

"I think you should change your music to 'Cyclone' by Baby bash. It has a nice rhythm and it's not too fast. You will all be able to stay in better sync with each other," I blurted out without thinking.

How am I going to get out of this one?

Everyone was staring at me like I had something on my head. I looked at Alice and back to Edward and up to Emmett and then I smiled looking at Rose.

"Just a suggestion. I told you Alice, I was observing I noticed that some of the girls were out of sync. Maybe the music you picked was too fast for some of them. A slower paced song would work better and the beat is similar so you wouldn't have to change the choreography."

"What? I watch a lot of cheer competitions and 'Bring it On' is one of my favorite movies," I informed them. I hoped that I had gotten out of that one.

"Sorry Rose, I didn't mean to offend you in any way I was just suggesting…," I left it at that.

"No. I like it. I think you are right. Maybe I should watch more cheer competitions myself," she chuckled. I joined in her laughter and I thanked God she bought my story.

Rose started talking to me nonstop about cheerleading and asking if I wanted to try out. I declined. No way was I getting involved in that again.

The rest of the day flew by. I was called to the office during 5th period and informed that they were moving my biology class. Instead of my current 5th period biology, I was now going into the 5th period AP biology class.

They told me where the class was and I was to start today. I walked over to my new class, stopped dead in my tracks when I got to the door when I spotted Edward.

This could not be happening. I tried to avoid him at all cost and now we were going to be in the same class together.

He looked up at the door as I entered, almost like he felt my presence. I walked up to the teacher and handed him the note letting him know I was now in his class.

"Welcome Isabella, I have a seat right over here for you," the teacher said, pointing to none other than the seat right next to Edward.

Edward looked up, smiled when I approached and moved all his things out of the way.

Kill me now, this could not be happening.

I smiled at him as I sat down, turning my chair slightly away from him and hid behind my hair.

Once class started I took out my notebook to take notes, felt a tap on my hand and saw a note being passed to me. Great, what are we in, second grade?

I opened the note:

_Are you avoiding me Ms. Swan? -E_

Was he serious? I turned to look at him and he smirked at me. I shook my head no. He continued writing.

_Why won't you look at me?_

I took out a piece of paper and wrote on it. He tried to look over my shoulder but I hid what I was writing from him as he was actually pissing me off.

_Not avoiding you, some of us actually come to school to learn - not pass notes or make friends Mr. Cullen - B_

I handed it to him and turned my chair more, hopefully he had gotten the hint. Obviously he hadn't because a few minutes later he pushed another note to me.

_Testy are we? Sorry if I seem pushy, I'll back off, I can take the hint._

Now I felt bad. He was only ever nice to me and by the note I take it that I had hurt his feelings, which was not something I meant to do. Why did I feel like I had to fix it? I really did not want to be friends with him, but no matter how hard I tried I felt something pulling me to him. 

I wrote him a note:

_Sorry bad day - forgive me? _

…and left it at that.

I did not look at him again. When the bell rang I quickly got up and left. Maybe I was just a little stressed.

My Mom was going to meet me after school at the library to sign the papers with Esme, Edward's Mom. It was agreed that I was going to start work the following Monday.

After school I hurried to my car avoiding all my friends, just so I could go to the library alone. I knew all of them they would want to meet me there and cheer me on while I signed all the paper work.

What was up with these popular kids actually being nice?

I met my Mom in the parking lot and went in to ask for Esme. She came out and met my Mom. We talked for a few minutes before she led us back to her small office.

"I know it is not like a real office, being just a storage area they cleared for me as an office," she chuckled.

We sat down with her and completed all the necessary paper work.

My Mom and Esme got along well and Esme invited my family over for dinner one night. Seriously?

No way was I going to go to Edward's house with my family and have dinner with him…them.

My Mom and I got take out on the way home from the library. We pulled up to the house and went inside.

My Dad was watching a baseball game as usual so we all ate in the living room.

After dinner I went to my room to work on my homework.

A lot had happened this day.

Edward was obviously flirting with me. If I was at my old school, I would have flirted back. We might have even dated.

_"Isabella, stop flirting with Felix, you two never stop!" Claire teased._

_"What? The captain of the football team should be going out with the Head cheerleader, Claire, and if flirting a little is what it is going to take then that is what I intend to do," I said smugly. _

Yes, the old me would have jump at the chance to date someone like Edward Cullen. The new me- not so much.

I had to put distance between the two of us. I was not the kind of person he would want to be with. He might think he knew me but he knew nothing. I could never let him know the truth.

N/A: No hating on Bella she seems a little bitchy but she has been through some tough times and she is confused. Soon some will be revealed, please be patient. Thanks for taking the time to read and don't forget to review.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer:

Twilight is not mine never was never will be I'm just in love with the characters. Thanks to **Lady Tazz** for pre-reading and **crazierthanu** for be being the awesome beta she is.

Bella is so confused let's see if she is able to figure any of this out…

**Chapter 5**

**Distant Road Trips**

I woke up bright and early the following day for school. I lay in bed for a few minutes thinking back to the past week. Things were definitely moving fast. I knew I would not be able to put any distance between me and Alice, I liked her too much. She was so good to me and accepted me when she didn't have to.

I knew she was with the popular kids because she hung out with the head cheerleader and was best friends with the captain of the baseball team.

I knew Alice was only popular by association and I wondered if she knew this. I would end up being too if I didn't put a stop to it now.

I knew I couldn't give her an excuse as to why I didn't sit with them at lunch. I looked into helping in the library during my lunch time. Mrs. Cope was more than happy to have me. I would still hang out with Alice after school and on the weekends, no one would notice.

Edward was a different story though. He pushed and asked questions. Questions I didn't want to answer. He went out of his way to talk to me. I know I hurt his feelings the other day with the notes and he really seemed to want to be my friend.

I think it was going to be harder for me to put some distance between us because if I was being honest with myself I didn't want distance. I liked him. I wanted to know him, but I was afraid.

I was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of hurting him, afraid of getting involved and losing myself again.

I was different now, or I was trying to be different. I was not a bad student in Phoenix, but I was definitely with the bad crowd. I let them decide the kind of person I was going to be.

With a heavy sigh I got up and took my shower, made some breakfast and left for school. When I got to school no one was there yet. I sat in my car until I jumped to a knock on the window.

"Bella, why are you sitting out in your car?" Alice questioned. I looked around and she was alone. I wondered where everyone else was, especially Edward.

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, Edward had to meet with the baseball coach about something and said for us not to wait for him. I am not sure about everyone else. We are here kind of early, so I don't know where they are," she answered, "why are you here so early?"

"Couldn't sleep, so I got up and got ready," I told her.

The bell rang and I went to class. First period was a blur as I couldn't help but think about Edward and before I knew it, it was second period. That was how the rest of the periods went up to Biology.

I was actually looking forward to biology. Just because I wanted distance didn't mean I didn't want to see him. I missed his beautiful face.

_Beautiful face? _

Where did that come from?

When the bell rang, I got up and headed for the cafeteria. I was supposed to go to the library, but I wanted to see if Edward was at lunch. When I walked through the doors I saw him sitting at the usual table talking to Emmett and eating a slice of pizza.

I grabbed my food and headed for their table. I sat down next to Edward but he never looked up, never even acknowledged me. Was he ignoring me now?

I sat and ate in silence until Alice came, smiling and chipper as ever. She looked at me, then back to Edward and I wondered what she was thinking.

"Hmm… Alice, I don't think I am going to be able to make it to Port Angeles this weekend after all," I informed her.

Edward's head snapped up and he looked at me. I looked back to him and then to Alice who looked to Edward and back to me.

"I just don't think it is a good idea."

"Why? Because I'm going?" Edward said in an angry voice. "I don't know what I did to you, Bella, except try and make you feel like you belonged. I talked to my Mom about helping you get a job and this is the thanks I get…you brushing me off."

"Edward?" I questioned. I felt bad because I didn't know why he was so angry. I never even asked him to help me get a job.

"No, Bella, I get that you don't want to be my friend…fine. You think you are too good for me, us or whatever…fine."

He got up and walked away, leaving me, Alice and Emmett sitting there with our mouths hanging open.

I got up to go after him. I didn't want him to feel that way. I didn't think I was better than them or him. It was quite the opposite.

Edward was right. He had been nothing but nice to me, accepting and I pushed him away. They all were nice to me and treated me like I was one of them, never once made me feel like an outsider.

I found him leaning against his car pinching the bridge of his nose and running the other hand through his hair. I was afraid to walk up to him to meet his wrath. He was cold, mean and angry in the cafeteria, in front of everyone.

"Edward, I am sorry. I didn't mean for you to think that I am better than you. This is hard for me and I wish I could explain to you everything but right now it is just not possible. Please believe me when I tell you this. I like you, I want to be your friend, but at the same time it scares me. Things happened in Phoenix that I can't talk about right now. I wish I could but I can't."

I hoped it was a good enough explanation.

He never looked at me. He let me talk and didn't say a word. The bell rang and it was time to get to class.

"You'd better get to class," he told me before walking away.

I walked to biology class and Alice was standing outside the door.

"Is everything okay, Bella?"

"Edward is really mad at me, I didn't mean to upset him," trying to fight back the tears that were building up in my eyes.

"Come to Port Angeles on Saturday Bella, please. I promise Edward will be cooled down by then and I am sure he would like it if you came," she begged.

"I don't know Alice, he was pretty mad. Can I call you later to let you know?"

Alice agreed and left for her class.

The rest of the day couldn't go by fast enough. After school I dragged my feet to the car. It was raining and I was getting soaked but I didn't care at that moment. When I made it to my car I noticed Edward's car was already gone but there was a note on my window.

_Sorry, I still would like it if you came with us to PA ~ Edward_

Saturday morning I woke up early, and tried to figure out what I was going to wear. I looked out my window to see what the weather was like. To my surprise it looked promising, with a few clouds and the sun poking through.

I decided I would wear skinny jeans and layer it with a white tank, blue v neck shirt and a hoodie just in case.

At nine o'clock on the dot there was a knock on the door. My Mom was still sleeping and my Dad had already gone fishing. I left a note letting her know I had left.

Alice stood at the door, fashionable as always. Everything looked good on her. She was wearing ballerina slippers, skinny jeans and a white button down blouse. Her hair was poking out at the ends in all directions.

"Morning Bella… sleep better last night?" she asked. I nodded yes even though it was a lie.

All I thought about was Edward and our argument. I still wondered if he really wanted me to go with them to PA or if Alice was going to force him.

I looked up to see him staring at me which caused me to blush. Why did he always have that effect on me?

"Hey, Bella. You look…good," he stated. He kind of smirked and I once again blushed. "Hop in…Alice is giving you shotgun."

"Well isn't that very sweet of her," I said looking back at her and she giggled.

The ride to Port Angels was not as bad as I expected.

We talked about school and our classes. Edward told me about baseball and that I should catch a game next week - if I wanted to he added. Alice went on about Jasper and that she was starting to get impatient with him.

"I wish he would just ask me out already. I mean he flirts with me all the time and I flirt back. I don't know what he is waiting for," she huffed, clearly frustrated with the situation.

"Alice, I think you should just start to ignore him, pretend you don't care about him or what he says or does," I looked back at her. "If he really likes you and wants to go out with you, I can almost promise that if he thinks you're not interested he will suddenly become interested. Play hard to get," I told her.

Edward just smirked and shook his head.

"What?" I asked. He was still shaking his head.

"Where do you come up with this information? Experience with many guys?" He quirked an eyebrow at me.

"I've been around… long enough to know that when a guy doesn't make a move and you suddenly lose interest, they realize they might lose you before they even have you. So they end up asking you out or something. I think it has to do with the male ego. They don't want it to seem like you are the one who lost interest." I informed him, rolling my eyes like he was clueless and it was plain as day. "Why, you don't think it is true?"

"I just think girls pressure the guys into doing something… like ask them out… when the guy is obviously not ready," Edward replied.

"Are you saying Jasper is not ready to date me?" Alice whined.

Edward and I laughed. That was the end of that topic, although I wanted to ask Edward why Jasper was taking so long to begin with, when he obviously liked Alice.

We arrived at the mall and walked around for a while. I looked in a few stores but didn't find anything I liked. Alice on the other hand found a lot.

We were there just about an hour and she already had 4 shopping bags, which Edward was carrying. Now I knew why she liked him to come along.

I found a store that had a few things I liked - a couple of pants, some long sleeved shirts and a few hoodies, which Alice shook her head at.

I was starting to get hungry so I asked if we could go to the food court to grab lunch.

We sat down to eat our food and suddenly Jasper walked up to us. He was shopping for his mom's birthday.

Alice invited him to join us, which he did and they were off in their own world, leaving Edward and I sitting in awkward silence.

"So you start work on Monday, huh?" Edward asked, trying to make small talk, I guessed.

"Yeah," I did not engage in small talk because I had nothing else to offer to the conversation.

After a long awkward silence, Alice started talking, "So, yeah…ummm Jasper asked if I would like to catch a movie with him," she continued, mouthing, "Oh my God!"

Alice then finished with "Bella, will you be okay with Edward taking you back home? I will get a ride with Jasper," she was practically jumping up and down. I was surprised she was able to control herself at all.

Sure, Alice, go have fun," I told her.

She hugged me and Edward and said she would call me later.

Edward and I wandered around the mall discussing nothing in particular. It was actually easy to talk to him once I let my guard down and just was myself.

Edward said he wanted to go into a music store to get some sheet music.

"Oh, what do you play?" I asked.

Is this guy perfect or what? It seemed Edward was good at just about everything.

"Piano, since the age of six," he stated, looking a bit confused.

"Honestly I haven't played in a while. The other day I had this melody in my head and I forgot I didn't have anything to write the notes down on. So that's why I need to buy some."

"You play by notes?" I questioned, shaking my head.

"Yeah, why?"

"Could you get more perfect?" I blurted out, not meaning for it to come out but I was kind of overwhelmed.

"I'm far from perfect Bella, but I work hard especially at things I like. I'm not trying to brag or anything," he stated, looking at the ground.

God, I wondered, what was he thinking? I had to open my big fat mouth and make him feel bad again!

"Oh, I don't think you are bragging at all. I guess I just feel a little insignificant compared to you. There is nothing I am good at," I confessed.

It was true. I didn't play sports well, besides cheerleading, and that had turned into a big mess. I had never played an instrument and I can barely walk down the street without falling.

"Bella, I'm sure there is something you are good at. You are a bright, beautiful girl. You don't give yourself enough credit."

He grabbed my arm and looked into my eyes. I stared back at him. He moved closer to me, and he was now standing right in front of me. He was so close I could feel his breath on my face.

"I see you Bella, there is nothing insignificant about you."

He was so close I thought he was going to kiss me. His lips were just inches from mine. I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and then I felt him step back.

"We should start heading home," he stated abruptly, turning and walking towards the exit of the mall. I followed a few steps behind.

We pulled up to my house. Edward got out and walked around to open the door for me. He was so polite.

He opened the back door to hand me my purchases. I told him I had a good time and I was glad that I had gone after all. He told me he had fun too and that we should do it again.

I walked up my steps and put my hand on the door and started turning the knob. I stopped and turned around to see Edward, still standing there leaning up against his car waiting for me to get inside.

I walked back toward the step, "Edward? Do you want to go out sometime?"

A/N: Wow didn't expect Bella to make the first move did you? Just a small cliffie. I wonder what Edward is going to say? Thanks for reading, don't forget to review…


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer:

I don't own Twilight *sigh*

Let's find out what Edward has to say…

**Chapter 6 **

**Stepping Up**

**EPOV**

"Yeah sure," I answered nonchalantly.

On the inside I was jumping up and down like a girl. I've wanted to ask Bella out since the moment I laid eyes on her. This had nothing to do with the bet between Emmett and me. As a matter of fact, I needed to talk to him about that because I didn't think I could go through with it. I liked her, really liked her. For the first time in my life I wanted to have a relationship with someone.

I never had an actual girlfriend. I mean I went on a few dates but it never went any further. No one I went to school with had any effect on me, until now.

After the first day I met Bella I had wanted to go on a date with her, to get to know her better. She was different than the other girls that went to this school. She was smart, funny, not fake and she didn't try to be something she wasn't.

I knew if I did go out with her I wouldn't hear about what happened or what the girl thought happened between us, from the other students.

I went out once with Jessica Stanley who spread rumors that I had asked her to be my girlfriend and I wanted to keep it a secret because my parents didn't allow me to date.

It blew me away that people actually believed it. I ended that shit quickly.

I told her I didn't know what she was trying to prove but in no way did I want to be her boyfriend. Yeah I made her cry and she hated me after but it was the price she had to pay for spreading rumors about me.

Unfortunately for Jessica people started to hate her for what she did and she couldn't even get a date to the Prom because of it. It just proved that status was important in High School.

Bella and I made plans to have lunch and catch a movie afterwards, since she had to work until noon on Saturday.

I saw Bella first thing Monday morning when Alice and I pulled up to school. She was wearing one of the new outfits she purchased on Saturday. Black skinny jeans, grey and black striped long sleeve shirt and Converse shoes.

She was looking good. Alice noticed too and commented.

"Wow, Bella(,) lookin' good, girl," Alice bellowed.

Bella blushed and waved her hand at Alice to get her to stop. Bella looked up at me, smiled but didn't say anything. I wondered what she was thinking. If I could only read her mind.

I didn't see Bella until biology. I arrived late for class and she was already sitting in her seat. She looked up when I walked in the room like she felt my presence.

"You're late," she stated and quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah…I was looking for Emmett but I couldn't find him. He probably ditched class because he had English next. You are still tutoring him right?" I questioned. She had not mentioned if she was or not.

"I am, but I am always so exhausted after. He is more concerned about asking me questions than actually learning anything. It is like he is writing a book on 'Isabella Swan'. I hope Rose doesn't start to think something is going on between us." She looked kind of worried about it.

I just laughed and shrugged my shoulders. I wondered why he was so interested in knowing her. I guess I needed to talk to Emmett about more than just the bet.

"I realize that I don't know anything about you Bella. What kind of food do you like?" I asked. I wanted to make sure that the night would be perfect.

"Anything really…I'm not picky at all. Italian is my favorite, but we can go anywhere…grab a hamburger if you like. It doesn't matter to me," she said rambling. She was so cute when she got flustered.

"Do you mind if we see a concert in the park instead of going to a movie? It only comes to town once a year. I usually go with Alice, but I would like to take you, if you want to go. If not, we can still catch a movie." Now I was rambling.

"Oh? Maybe we should go out a different day so you can go with Alice to the concert. I would hate to interfere with a tradition," she said looking a little uncertain.

"No!" I practically screamed, "I mean I want to take you. Alice is going out with Jasper that night anyway. So...?" I trailed. I didn't want her to back out. I felt like she was ready to bail any chance she got and I was not going to let her do it.

Before I knew it the bell rang.

The next day before school Bella said she was volunteering at the library so she would see me in Biology after lunch.

I needed to find Emmett. I walked into the cafeteria and spotted him sitting at the table. He was alone so it was a perfect opportunity to talk to him about the bet.

"Hey man, how's it going?" I asked.

Emmett shrugged his shoulders and continued eating his lunch. "I wanted to talk to you about the bet," I told him and he looked up at me.

"What about it Eddie, don't tell me you want out of it now, because Bella won't give you the time of day. A bet is a bet," he laughed.

"No, that's not it. I actually have a date with her on Saturday," I smirked at him. "I just don't think it is fair now because, well, she is kind of cute and funny…smart too. She doesn't care about what people think and I don't want her to get involved in a silly bet, you know," I told him, hoping he wouldn't catch on that maybe I liked her a lot more then I was admitting.

"You. Like. Her. This should be easy for you to win, Eddie. She becomes your girlfriend… everyone starts to like her,… she becomes popular. I don't see what the problem is. You'll win Eddie," Emmett shrugged.

"Stop calling me Eddie! I just don't want to see her get hurt that's all."

"Nah man, the only one that could get hurt here is you, so don't mess it up!" Emmett said pointing at me. Rosalie came and sat down next to him.

"What are you guys talking about?" Rose asked looking between Emmett and me.

"Eddie…sorry, Edward, has a date with Bella on Saturday," Emmett told Rose.

"Is that so? Well, Edward, you are finally stepping up and going out with someone half-way decent. So where is the Swan? I want to talk to her about this cheerleading thing she seems to know all about," Rosalie said.

I wondered how Bella knew about cheerleading as well. Was she a cheerleader at her old school? I might have to look that up online.

"She said she was volunteering at the library during lunch," I told them. I got up to take my tray of food to the trash. I looked over at the library and thought that maybe I could just drop by to see her.

I walked toward the library and went inside. It was pretty quiet and I did not see anyone.

I started walking between the aisles of books until I came across someone sitting on the floor eating lunch and reading.

Why would she say she was volunteering in the library if she is only reading and eating? Was she avoiding us?

She looked up towards my direction and I backed up so she could not see me. I looked one more time and she was reading her book again.

I turned around and left the library feeling confused.

Every day was pretty much the same. I would run into Bella in the mornings as she always waited for Alice and I before school. We all talked about school and projects due since she had many classes with Alice and Bio with me.

We fell into a familiar pattern, talking during Biology, getting to know each other.

I found out that Bella did most of the meals at home because her Mom was a bad cook. They ate out when she didn't feel like cooking. Her Mom loved to take various interest classes because she said it freed her soul.

Bella's mom had a teaching degree but never taught school. After she got the degree she said it was not something she wanted to do. Bella just laughed and rolled her eyes. It must have been something her mom did often.

I found out that her father loved to fish and went every Saturday and Sunday. He also loved to watch baseball and they often ate in the living room on TV trays while watching the game.

Before I knew it Friday had arrived and our date was fast approaching. Neither of us made any mention of it.

I had a game after school and I was a little bummed that I was not going to be able to see Bella.

When I walked out on the mound to begin the game I had a weird feeling, like someone was watching me. I knew people were watching me so I tried to shrug it off.

Alice usually stayed to watch so she could get a ride with me. Today was no exception except for the fact that sitting right beside her was none other than Bella. I met her gaze and she smiled at me, I smiled back and started the game.

I was on the entire game and it was by far the best one I had ever played that we had won.. The coach came out after our win and said my playing was awesome and whatever I was doing to keep it up.

Bella was my lucky charm. I wondered if I could get her to attend every game.

Once back into the locker room Emmett and Jasper came up to me and asked if I wanted to go out and celebrate. I agreed and we decided to go to the pizza place just outside of Forks since no one wanted to drive to PA.

Alice, Bella and Rosalie were waiting for us at the door of the locker room.

When Jasper walked out Alice squealed and wrapped her arms around him. Rosalie threw her arms around Emmett, congratulated him and gave him a kiss.

I looked up to see Bella standing there looking at me. It was awkward.

"Hi," I said gazing into her eyes wondering for the hundredth time what she was thinking.

"Hi…great game," she offered and blushed.

Bella said she would meet us at the pizzeria as she had to check in at home first. I walked her to her car.

I walked to my car putting all the baseball gear inside and waited for Alice.

When we got to the pizza place, we ordered a few pizzas. Emmett could eat one all by himself, especially after we had played a winning game.

"I don't know what you have been doing Edward, but that game you played tonight was amazing! You shut out the other team. I never saw you so focused before. What happened?" Emmett patted me on the back.

"Honestly I don't know," I looked down, taking a bite of pizza.

"It was Bella," Alice stated and I choked. She patted me on the back before she continued, "think about it. Edward was good before but the first game Bella attends and he becomes remarkable."

"I think you have a point Tink-,…Bella!" Emmett shouted, making all of us turn our heads, "here comes the lucky charm now!"

"What are you talking about now Emmett?" Bella said sounding a little annoyed with him.

"You're Edward's lucky charm. Now you have to attend each game so he can keep the streak going." Emmett moved over to let her sit next to me.

"Pizza?" I asked, offering Bella a plate. I tried to ignore Emmett because I knew he was embarrassing her.

"Please," was all she said.

After pizza we went to play some of the games at the back of the pizza parlor. Bella played a mean Skee Ball and won every time.

She looked so carefree jumping up and down in circles, shaking her hands chanting, "I won, I won". I had never seen this side of her before.

Where had this person been? I had to laugh at her 'yeah well, looks like Ms. Swan is actually good at something' look.

Still doing her circling, arm throwing and jumping thing, she said, "Mr. Cullen, you're just jealous that I was able to kick your ass!" She giggled and covered her mouth. I smirked at her and shook my head.

"Yeah we will have a rematch in the near future," I told her and she giggled some more.

"Oh my God, Edward, I have to get home or my parents are going to kill me! It is almost ten," she said suddenly as she looked on her cell.

I walked her out in awkward silence after she said goodbye to the gang.

This was almost like a date and it was coming to an end.

"I had fun tonight, Edward," she said looking up at me.

"So did I, I'll see you tomorrow okay? Oh, and Bella, do you think you can text me when you get home just so I know you made it there safely?"

I was worried about her drive home so late…huh, that was a first. She got in her car and nodded before driving away.

I went back to find the gang to see if Alice was ready to leave. I was exhausted, so we all said our goodbyes and left.

"Bella seemed to have fun tonight. I was watching you two," Alice looked over at me. "You guys look good together. Edward, I know this is all new to you and that you don't normally do this. Please don't hurt her. She is my friend and I would hate to lose a good friend. I don't know why but I feel that something happened to her at her old school. I think if you hurt her it would just devastate her."

"Don't worry Al, I won't hurt your friend,"

Just as I was pulling into my drive way my phone chimed.

_**Made it home, see you tomorrow :) –B**_

Alice looked over at me.

"What? I asked Bella to text me when she got home so I knew she was safe."

I sent a quick reply back to Bella. Then I walked Alice home.

Once I was back at my house I went to my room, took a shower and fell asleep quickly.

The next morning I woke up to my Mom cooking breakfast. It was already nine. I went downstairs and took a seat at the island while my Mom finished cooking.

"Hi sweetie, how are you this morning?" my mom cooed, "I heard you won your game. Congratulations! What are your plans for today?"

I remembered that I hadn't told my mom that I had a date with Bella in the afternoon. "Thanks, Mom, I kind of haveadatewithBella," I mumbled.

"Huh?" she asked, looking at me quizzically.

"I have a date with Bella after she gets off work. We are going to lunch and catch that concert thing in the park in the evening," I told her.

My Mom's face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"That is wonderful Edward. She is so good at the library. I can't wait to hear her read to the kids. Oh, my baby is growing up so fast." She kissed my cheek.

"God, thanks Mom," I said as I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. She treated me like a baby sometimes.

My Dad was at the hospital and my Mom had just left for work. This meant the house was empty.

I still had no idea what I was going to wear on my date. I decided I should start getting ready because noon would be here before I knew it. I found a pair of low ride jeans and a blue button down shirt.

I knew that Bella was going to complain because I was picking her up from work and she wouldn't have time to get ready.

I grabbed my jacket and left the house at eleven thirty. I was going to be a little early but I was eager to see Bella.

I got to the library and noticed her car was not in the parking lot. I wondered if she got sick or something had happened on the way to work.

I decided I would go inside to see if I could figure out what had happened. I looked at my phone and I did not have any miss calls from her.

I walked towards the children's section of the library, where I knew she would be working. I heard her voice telling a story.

"That is why you should never give a mouse a cookie," she finished and all the kids clapped. Then all the kids got up and left.

I wondered what that story was about. She looked up at me and blushed the deepest red I ever saw.

Bella walked over to me. "You're early," she said.

"Just a few minutes…finish whatever it is that you're doing. I will go talk to my Mom. I'll meet you back here?" I questioned. The awkwardness was back surrounding us once again.

"Just give me five minutes, I want to freshen up."

I went and said 'hi' to my mom and wandered around the library. It seemed to be the longest five minutes of my life. I made it back over to the reading room and saw her standing there She was so beautiful.

A/N: Well the date is up next, told in BPOV. Most of the story is in BPOV just sometimes Edward wants his side of the story told. *shrug* What Edward wants, Edward gets.

Thanks to my pre-reader **Lady Tazz** who always amazes me. Thanks to my beta **crazierthanu** for the encouragement. Love ya both!


	7. Chapter 7 Letting Go

Disclaimer:

Twilight is not mine but I love the characters.

Thanks to my pre-reader **Lady Tazz** and my beta **crazierthanu.**

Bella takes us back to the Monday before the date. I know, I tried to tell her. This is after she went with Edward and Alice to PA. The date is in this chapter though so let's get on with it…

**Chapter 7 BPOV**

**Letting Go**

The alarm woke me up bright and early Monday morning, but this time I was not complaining. I had some new clothes from the shopping trip that I was looking forward to wearing. Not that I like shopping as much as Alice but a girl could always use some feel good clothes.

I waited for Alice to arrive at school but I couldn't deny that I was just as excited to see Edward. Something between us had changed, not sure if it was him or me, maybe both. Things were not awkward anymore and we could have normal conversations without feeling weird about it.

I was looking forward to the date on Saturday. It had been so long since I had gone out and just had fun. I needed it.

Alice of course had to make me blush when she yelled "Wow, Bella lookin' good girl," but I just waved my hand at her to get her to stop.

I look up at Edward and his eyes were staring right into mine and at that second I thought he could see everything I was thinking.

I was waiting for him in Biology and was disappointed when the bell rang and he was not there. Was he ditching? Was he avoiding me, oh no!

No sooner had the panic started and I felt a sense of calm wash over me when I looked up and saw him walk through the door.

"You're late," I told him. He said he had to find Emmett. He seemed kind of desperate and I wondered what was so urgent that it could not wait until lunch.

Edward ended up asking me all kinds of questions starting with what kind of food I liked and ending with if I minded going to a concert in the park with him. I soon started to get uncomfortable because he said he used to go with Alice every year and now he was taking me.

I asked Edward if he wanted to change the date because I didn't want to come between him and his best friend. He almost sounded like he was pleading, afraid I was going to cancel when he said no.

I gave him too much information on my family. He seemed so interested because he hung on every word and never seemed like he was bored or tired of listening.

I also found out quite a bit about him. He enjoyed Italian food and was a sucker for cupcakes. I thought I would have to bake him some soon. He admitted that he was probably a spoiled child (who is he kidding with the probably?) and a mamma's boy.

Edward had plans to follow in his father's footsteps and become a doctor. He wanted to specialize in sports medicine. I think my mouth was hanging open because I never would have thought of Edward as a piano man, composer or doctor.

I knew he was very ambitious but not in that sense. I thought he was more of a jock and would get a scholarship to play ball but instead he was looking to go into medicine. Once again I felt insignificant.

I told him I was volunteering during lunch in the library. I was trying to keep up with my rule to not be seen around Alice or Edward during school, so I wouldn't be associated with them.

Who actually hides the fact that the POPULAR kids wanted to be friends with them? I do - I wanted to remain low key.

I wandered to the back of the library to the last row, sat down with my lunch and grabbed a book. I made sure I brought my lunch with me every day so I could hide out in the library. It was usually empty during lunch time because who in their right mind wanted to spend lunch in the library?

I was getting into my book when I felt the humming electricity I often felt around Edward. That was weird. Maybe I just felt weird because no one else was in the library.

I looked up to the direction my body seemed to be pulled to but no one was there. I looked the other way, in between the book shelves and still saw no one.

Great, now you're hallucinating.

Before I knew it Friday had arrived. I felt antsy and I needed to do something fun. Alice invited me to watch the baseball game with her and since I was curious to see Edward play, I agreed.

I called my mom to let her know I was with Alice watching the junior's baseball game and if they won we were going to grab pizza. I told her I would be home by curfew, which was 10 pm.

She insisted I come home first before I went to meet the gang for pizza. I wondered what that was all about.

I watched as Edward took the mound and my heart started pounding. Boy, did he look hot in his green and white striped tight baseball pants and green and gold jersey shirt. He was number 7 and 'CULLEN' was written along the back of the shirt.

Wow. He was an angel and could he play ball. Strike after strike he got the opposing team out.

The coach came out and talked to him, Edward shook his head. The coach slapped him on the back and walked back to the dugout.

Every once in a while he would look at Alice and smile and she would smile back at him. I wondered if she was his lucky charm. Those two were like brother and sister and I knew there was nothing Edward wouldn't do for her. That made me smile.

I said 'hi' to Edward after he kissed Alice's cheek. I wished I had someone who was like a big brother to me. I told them I would meet them at the pizzeria, got in my car and went home.

My Mom and Dad were in the family room eating and watching the ball game on the flat screen.

"Bella is that you?" my mom called out.

"No it is a stranger walking into your house," I replied.

"So what is this about you watching a ball game? You hate baseball," my Dad said still staring at the TV.

"I went to watch my friends play and Alice asked me if I wanted to join her since her boyfriend is on the team. They won so they are going to get pizza."

"You have friends on the baseball team?" my Mom was now interested knowing it meant boys.

"Yes, Edward is on the team and so is Emmett. You know - the one I tutor? Alice's boyfriend Jasper is as well, we are all friends."

Now here is the part my Mom was going to freak out about, "I kind of have a date with Edward tomorrow," I blurted out, "can I go now they are waiting for me?"

"What's that Bella? You have a date, with whom?" my Dad asked. Dad, pay attention, jeez.

"Charlie, she has a date with Edward, the jock… the one on the ball team. He's popular huh?" my mom questioned.

"I guess, but they are not like the ones back home," I informed them. My Dad was now facing me and had a worried look on his face, this could not be good.

"Bella do you think it is a good idea to get involved with this Edward. I don't want to have to move again if you get hurt." He lifted a finger pointing at me.

"So, it was my fault Dad? Is that what you are saying? I'm sorry I made your life so inconvenient, can I go now?" I was done. Why was he trying to make me feel bad?

"Sweetie, your Dad didn't mean it like that. Don't be upset. Can we meet Edward?" my Mom asked.

"Yeah, but he is picking me up from work tomorrow. We are going to lunch and then a concert in the park in Port Angeles. Can you meet him after the date?" I begged, "please don't make this harder on me than it already is." They agreed and I was on my way to the pizza place.

When I walked in Emmett was yelling my name saying something about me being a lucky charm. Whatever. He moved so I could sit next to Edward and he offered me pizza.

I soon started to relax and I was wondering if it had to do with Edward. Every time I was around him it felt natural, normal, like this was where I was supposed to be.

Everyone started getting up saying what games they wanted to play. Edward and I both said skee ball and giggled as we looked at each other.

I let my guard down. I didn't mean to, well maybe just a little, but I totally let him see the fun free-spirited Isabella side of me. Boy was I having fun kicking that boy's butt.

He was being all competitive with me and challenging me to more and more games and with each one I kept winning. After jumping and chanting I am sure he must have thought I had lost my mind. Considering the conversation I had with my parents and being cooped up for weeks, I had to let loose.

I kind of panicked when I realized I had ten minutes to get home. Edward walked me to my car asking me to text him to let him know I made it home safely. He was so cute I wanted to kiss him right then and there. I had to hold on to my car door just to fight the urge I had to jump at him.

I texted him that I made it home safe and he instantly replied:

_**Thanks for letting me know sweetie – E**_

Whoa… wait a minute… sweetie? God help me - I was 100 percent falling for this boy.

I woke up early the next morning and showered. I packed extra clothes so I could change before the date. I told Edward to make it casual.

I told my Mom that I would see her after the date and to be on her best behavior when I brought Edward over. My Dad had already gone fishing for the day.

The morning seemed to drag on forever. I got to work and Esme came by to say 'hi'. She was all smiles and I wanted to ask her what was up. Then I remembered that she must have known that Edward and I had a date.

"Do you need something Esme?" I asked.

"No, sweetie." Ah, that is where Edward gets it from. "I just want to tell you that Edward told me about the date. I couldn't be happier, you are such a good person."

"Ummm…thanks?" it came out like a question, not sure how I was supposed to answer.

Esme told me that I could pick any book from the children's section to read to the kids. As I was browsing the books I spotted one of my all time favorites "_If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_". My Grandmother Marie used to read it to me.

I would spend the night with her once a week. I actually always wanted to live with her because things were so much simpler at her house. Sometimes things at my house were crazy. My Mom was always on some rant or new project. She would make me get involved too since my Dad was hardly ever home.

She would sit with me in the bed and read it to me. When I got old enough I would read it to her. When I was 11 my Gran died and I was devastated. I felt so guilty for the longest time.

The weekend before she passed I stayed with her. She got the book to read me the story but I told her I was too old for the book and I didn't need her to read to me anymore.

I never got the chance to hear her read to me again. I was so sad for weeks after and no one could do anything to make me feel better. My Dad finally came in my room one night while was crying.

He walked over to my bed, sat down and started reading the book to me. I held his hand and listened to him until he was done. I didn't feel guilty after and I was able to fall asleep without crying.

My Dad is a man of few words but that gesture showed me just how much he truly loved me. It made me realize that even though my Dad sounded like he was blaming me last night he was actually trying to protect me. He didn't want what happened in Phoenix to happen here. I was brought out of my reverie with the sound of children approaching.

I walked into the reading room and ten little ones awaited me. I started reading the book and I was so into it that I didn't even noticed Edward, standing by the door.

How long had he been there? The kids clapped after I finished the book. I told them to get up and each go pick out their library book to take home with them. When I came back I teased Edward about being early. He said he was impatient so he just came down. I asked him for 5 more minutes so I could freshen up.

I had asked Esme if I could keep my clothes for the date in one of the desk doors that I kept my purse in. She said of course and to feel free to use it any time and she gave me a key.

So it took a little longer than five minutes. I got my clothes and walked to the restroom. Thank God Edward listened and dressed in casual clothes, although he still looked hot. I would probably look just as plain as always.

I wore black skinny jeans with a silver sweater that had a black tie around the waist and silver flat shoes. I took my hair out of the ponytail and let it lay naturally with my curls around my shoulders. I put on some light make-up, lip gloss and I was ready.

I walked back to where Edward said he would be waiting. He gave me that crooked smile and turned a light shade of pink. Was he embarrassed?

He walked me to his car and opened the door for me. Such a gentleman.

"Bella, where is your car?" he asked looking around the parking lot.

"Oh, I asked my Mom to drop me off this morning since you were picking me up here and my parentswanttomeetyou." I rushed through the end. "Do you mind?"

"You parents want to…?" He waited for me to finish it for him.

"They said I could go out with you if they could meet you. Since you're not picking me up at home they said after would be just fine. Edward, don't let them intimidate you and whatever they say about me is not true." I laughed nervously.

"Oh, am I going to find out some Bella Swan secrets," he teased me.

"Not if I can help it," I teased back.

"You look nice by the way," he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"So do you," I added blushing profusely.

Bella Italiano was a little hole in the wall family owned place. Very romantic if you asked me and I wondered if Edward thought of this ahead of time. Each booth had a white and red checkered table cloth and a candle on the table.

The candles were the only light illuminating the place. The hostess led us to a table. There were not too many people in there but I did notice a few kids from school whose names I didn't know.

The waiter came, smiled at me and asked what I would like to order to drink. I asked for a Coke and Edward cleared his throat to get the waiter's attention and said to make it two.

"Bella are you flirting with the help?" he chuckled and I had no idea what he was talking about.

"What?"

"The waiter…it was like I was not even here with you. He was just checking you out and you were just smiling…looking up at him." He chuckled again.

I don't flirt with people while I am on a date and this made me a little upset with him.

"Well if smiling and looking up at someone when they are speaking to me is flirting then I must be the biggest flirt there is, Edward!" I sort of yelled.

"Hey B, calm down I was just teasing you," he said.

Did he just call me B?

"Oh," was all I said while still looking down at the menu.

I swear I heard him say something about "overreacting" but when I looked up at him he was just reading the menu too.

Well this is going great. Ok, fix this Bella. With a heavy sigh I closed my menu and looked up at Edward, reaching my hand out across the table. When he felt my hand he looked at it and then up to me.

"I'm sorry. I'm just…sometimes I…I overreact and my temper gets the best of me. Please forgive me? In no way would I ever flirt with someone else while on a date., .It just upset me to think you thought I was capable of that."

"I just thought you were being cute maybe it came out the wrong way. Don't worry about it," he said, smiling at me.

We ate our meal and talked about everything, falling back into the ease of conversation. The waiter interrupted us a few times and I realized he was flirting with me. Who knew? I avoided eye contact only looking at Edward and he soon got the hint. He left a check on the table wishing us a nice afternoon and I never saw him again.

We walked to the car and realized we still had a few hours until the concert started. Edward suggested we walk around different booths at the park.

I guessed it was not only a concert in the park but sort of a carnival of sorts. We drove the few miles to the park, taking a couple of minutes to find parking up the hill by the houses.

I grabbed my jacket and started to get out of the car when Edward appeared at my door. We walked down the hill and I prayed that I would not fall. I tripped a few times but caught myself except for the last time when I went stumbling forward and almost fell on my face.

Edward reached out and caught me before any damage could be done. He smiled at me, shook his head and grabbed my hand, lacing my fingers with his. I felt the blush creep up my body and I was sure my face must have turned red.

"Shit, Bella, your hands are freezing!" he said looking at my light jacket. "You should be wearing something warmer."

"I'm always cold. It wouldn't matter if I had on a big jacket and gloves," I snickered.

"I guess I am going to have to hold your hands all night to keep them warm then," he beamed. Yes, he was beaming.

We came to a booth that was serving hot chocolate and both got a cup. It tasted so good going down and the cup warmed my hands. I hoped that wouldn't mean he wasn't going to hold them anymore. Even though my head was telling me it was a bad idea my heart was telling me it was wonderful.

We walked for a while longer talking about growing up. I told him how I begged my parents to have a big brother for me. I had wanted a big brother my entire life- someone to protect me. The closest thing I had gotten to that was Jake but I left that part out when telling Edward.

"Most kids ask their parents to have a baby brother or sister and here you are asking them to have an older one," he said, laughing at me.

"What about your parents - they never wanted anymore?" I asked.

He told me that they did and they had tried but his mom had a hard time with delivering him. He had spent several weeks in the hospital after he was born.

"My Mom basically adopted Alice."

I looked at him, questioning.

"I'm sure Alice will tell you, but don't say anything until she does."

I nodded and he continued, "Alice's Mom drinks a lot and her Dad works all the time, she is basically on her own. She spends a lot of time at my house. It has been like that since she moved next door when she was 6. Her Dad tries as hard as he can. He buys her things to make up for it, but what she really needs is someone who truly loves her. That is why I am so protective of her I guess. She is the strongest person I know and looking at her you would have never thought she has had a tough life. She is just so positive and sees the good in everyone…even her Mom," he concluded.

I had so many questions but I knew he was not going to say anything more about it.

Suddenly Edward's eyes widened and he was licking his lips. I followed his gaze and the spot that had him drooling.** Sprinkles** had a booth at the carnival and they had an array of cupcakes.

"You really do like cupcakes don't you?" I laughed and motioned him to get one.

"Do you want one?" he asked me. I nodded 'yes'.

"They are big cupcakes Edward, let's share."

He looked at me like I was crazy. "What? You can't share?" I asked.

"I was just kind of planning on eating a whole one," he pouted.

I went up and ordered two cupcakes. If anything he could have my other half. I ordered one chocolate with chocolate frosting and one white with vanilla frosting - and sprinkles. I went to pay but Edward stopped me, shaking his head while handing the girl the money.

"But I want to buy dessert Edward. Let me pay for something," I begged.

"NO!" was all he said taking a bite of his cupcake.

I think I heard a moan or two escape his mouth. He was quiet for the longest time enjoying his cupcake. I ate half of mine and was full. I offered him the other half and he lit up again, finishing it.

It was time for the concert to start so we walked over to the theater to get our seats. The theater was not big- maybe 150 seats. We found our seats that were about dead center in the theater, having a perfect view of the stage.

The sun was just setting in a mostly clear sky but the wind was chilly. I shivered a few times trying to hide it from Edward. I knew he would be upset if he knew just how cold I was. He sighed as he noticed this and took off his jacket to put around my shoulders.

"Edward, you don't have to do that. I will be okay. You are going to be cold," I told him.

He ignored me though, then he put his arm around me. "There I won't be cold now," he said smiling at me.

The concert started and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

There was a twelve piece orchestra playing. It was so relaxing and mesmerizing. Edward had great taste in music. I wondered if he would ever let me hear him play.

Once the concert was over, it was time for us to leave for home. The date turned out to be wonderful and I was so glad I had asked him.

Edward was a gentleman and even though he had many opportunities to kiss me, he never did. He just held my hand and put his arm around me. I thought I might have to beat him off with a stick and I was prepared to do just that if needed.

We walked up the hill to the car and by this time I was exhausted. I had gotten up early, gone to work and a date. That didn't include all the walking we did. I was having a hard time walking back up the hill to the car.

"Want a lift?" Edward said pointing to his back.

I shook my head and kept walking.

"I don't mind, you look tired," he tried again.

I shook my head no, again. He held out his hand for me to take instead, and practically pulled me up the hill to the car. He opened the door for me once again.

I think I might have fallen asleep on the way home because the next thing I remembered was Edward saying that we were at my house.

"Did I fall asleep? I'm so embarrassed."

Good thing it was dark so he couldn't see me blush. He opened my door – again - and walked with me to my door. As I opened it my parents were sitting in front of the TV watching the ball game - big surprise.

"Hi Mom, Dad, I would like you to meet Edward Cullen," I said, motioning with my hand towards Edward. He reached out his hand to shake both my parents' hands.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Swan. It is nice to finally meet you. Bella has told me a lot about you." He smiled at them.

Yeah, I told him how my parents are freaks.

"Hope it was not all bad, and don't believe a word she says!" my Mom joked, giggling. Oh brother! I rolled my eyes at her.

"Well it is getting late. I think Edward would like to get home sometime. Say goodnight Mom, Dad," I told them, leading Edward to the door.

"Night," the both said in unison.

I walked Edward back out to his car and lingered there for awhile. This is the part that got sticky. Would he try to kiss me good night? Did I want him to kiss me? I was not ready for that and I hope that if he tried I wouldn't hurt him by turning him down.

"I had fun tonight Bella, I hope we can do it again," he said leaning against his car.

"Yeah, I did too. The concert was so beautiful. Thank you for taking me."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him, his eyes never leaving mine. I was mesmerized by them.

"Bella," he whispered closing his eyes, leaning more into me. He was just inches away from my lips but I had to stop him.

"Edward, I'm not ready for this, please…" I begged him, not wanting to explain why and praying he wouldn't ask me.

He opened his eyes and squeezed my hand letting me know it was okay. I smiled up at him and he kissed my hand good night instead.

He walked around to the driver seat and said he would see me on Monday and he drove off.

A/N: *Runs and hides* No kiss – What is Bella thinking? I want to know what you think, leave me a review. Thanks for reading.


	8. Chapter 8 In Too Deep

Disclaimer:

So Twilight does not belong to me, I think you all know that.

A big thank you to everyone who has added **Never Bet** to their favorites and for the many thoughtful reviews I have received.

Thanks to **Lady Tazz** for pre-reading and all her positive feedback and excitement for this little story of mine.

Thanks to **crazierthanu **for beta'ing this for me and returning it to me quickly so I can get it out to all of you.

This chapter as me worried *bites nails*

Let's see what everyone is up to…

**Chapter 8 BPOV**

**In Too Deep**

"Bella get up!" the pesky little voice whined, "it's going to be fun!"

I covered my head with the pillow. I didn't want to get up yet. Why was someone in my room waking me up on a Sunday?

"No, leave me alone!" I said speaking into the pillow.

"Sweetie, you said you would start yoga with me today," my Mom cried. I knew it had to be her - no one else would ever think to wake me up at the butt crack of dawn on a Sunday.

"No… go without me. I'm tired!"

Before I knew it I was being pulled out of bed and she was going through my drawers and handing me my clothes.

With a loud grunt and pounding feet, I made my way to the bathroom to take a shower. 'Damn her and her stupid project' I said to myself.

Twenty minutes later I woke up enough to get out of the shower. Then I went to dry my hair.

An hour later I made my way downstairs to a very displeased Renee. She was tapping her foot standing by the door.

"What?" I asked.

"Bella, I know you get ready quicker than that. You made us miss the class, but I called and there's another one in 45 minutes. Let's go!" she glared at me.

Damn! I had never seen my Mom so pissed before - she must really want to go to this yoga class. I offered to drive since my Mom gets lost going to the grocery store.

I made my way onto the highway and that is when my Mother started.

"Soooo….tell me what happened on the date last night. You were beaming when you came home so I take it that it went well? I want all the details." She leaned over waiting for me to answer.

"God, Mom, is that why you dragged me out of the house this morning?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at her. She had no shame she just nodded 'yes'.

"Well, it did go well. We had a lot of fun. We might just go out again," I offered her nothing else trying to change the subject. "Can we stop at the store after yoga to get some cake mix?" I failed miserably.

"Cake mix? Why… are you baking a cake?" she asked me.

"No… I am making cupcakes for Edward. He seems to be very fond of them."

I told her the entire story about how his eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw the cupcakes and how he wouldn't share.

"He was so cute," I added.

"Oh, Bella, I am so happy for you!" my mom exclaimed.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh sweetie, it's okay if you like him. Don't be afraid. What happened in Phoenix is not going to happen here. I know you are a different person and a lesson was learned. Just be yourself and let him in." Renee patted me on the back.

"I can tell he likes you. He never took his eyes off you when you were in the same room. Take things slow. All I am saying is give him a chance."

She leaned back in her seat and sighed. "It was the first time I have really seen you smile since we moved here."

She gave her opinion but I couldn't help but worry about what had happened in Phoenix and wonder if the same thing could happen here.

"_Come on Isabella a few drinks is not going to hurt anyone. I will be with you the entire time and it will loosen you up a bit." _

"_I'm not sure Victoria. I mean if someone catches me I could get kicked off the cheer team," I was nervous. She always pressured me to drink when we went out._

"_Felix is watching you. He has been watching you all night… come on, one drink." _

"_Fine - just one. I am going to go talk to Felix, I'll be back," I said as I got up. _

_Three drinks and a lot of making out later I stumbled my way back to my house._

"_Bella is that you?" my Mom asked._

"_Mom, it's me. Why do you always have to ask?" I said giggling._

"_Sorry Mrs. Swan, I tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn't," Victoria said sweetly._

"_It's okay Victoria, thanks for looking out for her." _

_My mom grabbed my arm and helped me up stairs. _

I shook my head to bring myself back to the present. I parked the car and got out, walking with my mom to the class. The yoga instructor kicked my ass, or it was the fact that I had not done yoga in a long time. I was sweating like a pig and I still had to go to the store. I hoped I didn't run into anyone I knew.

The store was empty and I made my way over to the cake aisle. I stood looking at all the different cake mixes wondering what would be Edward's favorite. I picked up a few boxes, including red velvet.

I thought, "I will make these tonight and take them to him tomorrow at school."

I also picked up ingredients to make lasagna and a salad for dinner.

When I was done I had to find my Mom to find out what the heck she was looking at.

"Those poor things… Bella look at them. Do you think they know that they are going to cook them alive?" she asked with tears in her eyes. Yes, tears. God, she is like a child.

"Mom, they are lobsters… I am sure they don't think," I told her, while I dragged her away from the lobster display and out to the checkout stand.

Once we were home, I put everything away and took another shower. I laid in my bed and before I knew it I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to my phone chirping, alerting me to a text message.

_**How was the date? – Ali**_

_**Good what did Edward say? – B**_

I wondered if he had told her anything about it.

_**Nothing he said he don't kiss and tell – Ali**_

_**Well we didn't kiss- B**_

**Why didn't you want to kiss him? – Ali**

**So you have talked to him –B**

**That's all he said besides he had fun and he wants to ask you **

**out again, if he does would you say yes? – Ali**

She was being so forward. Yes, I would go out with him again but did I want to tell Alice that?

_**Don't listen to her –E**_

What? Were they together? Was he asking her to text me?

_**I asked her not to text you – E**_

Now he can read my mind! Okay, play it cool Bella.

_**Are you together? – B**_

_**Alice is over – E**_

_**I am sitting with him on his bed and he try to take my phone away – Ali**_

I sent a text to Edward.

_**Alice is crazy and she doesn't give up does she? – B**_

I sent the next to Alice

_**I have to go and make dinner ttyl – B**_

_**Watch who you are texting I am not crazy – Ali**_

_**LOL – E**_

Damn they are confusing me.

_**Sorry Alice – B**_

_**Don't laugh Edward – B**_

_**Bye – B**_

I sent the last message to both of them.

I went to the kitchen to make dinner. My Mom joined me and offered to make salad. It was about the only thing she could do that didn't cause the house to burn down. I started to set the table and my Mom looked at me questioning.

"I think we should have dinner at the table tonight."

I started setting down the plates. I grabbed the silverware and napkins and asked her to get the glasses.

My Dad walked into the dining room. "Why are we eating in here?"

"Dad, we never eat at the table. Please humor me."

"But the game…," he trailed off.

"You know we have a DVR… I'll record it and you can watch it after we eat."

I often wondered who the child was here.

We sat at the table and had a friendly conversation. My Dad talked about his boring job because most of the time there was nothing to do. The highlight of his day was if another county needed help with something.

My Dad and I laughed at my Mom when she told us how she got lost going to the grocery store the other day and ended up at a Dairy Queen in Hoquiam, some 30 miles out of the way in the opposite direction.

"I just got an ice cream and came back home," she shrugged.

"And you were able to find your way back home, Renee?" my Dad laughed.

"I had to ask someone for directions back, but once I was in the area I knew where to go Charlie," my mom stated.

After dinner my Dad went back to the living room to watch the game. He was happy he had only missed twenty minutes and was caught up to live TV after a few commercials.

Mom helped me to clean up the kitchen.

I wanted to start making the cupcakes for Edward. I got the cake mix out and read the directions for cupcakes. I bought the cupcake trays that made big cupcakes. I had enough mix to make six large size cupcakes.

After they had cooled I frosted them and placed them in a box and wrote a note on the cover:

**Edward, had fun Saturday. Here is something sweet to hold you over until you can get your next fix – Bella. **

I put the box in the fridge and went up to my room.

I wanted to send Edward a text but I didn't want to seem desperate or anything. It was already late so I got into my pajamas to get ready for bed. I forgot my water so I went down stairs to get a bottle.

"Bella, that you? The cupcakes are delicious!"

I think I saw red.

"Dad, if you ate one of those cupcakes I am going to kill you!" I screamed.

I went to the box and sure enough one was missing.

"What part of 'Edward' on the lid did you not understand Dad?" I screamed again.

"Sorry Bells, but they smelled so good and I thought Edward wouldn't eat all of them so I took one. I did not know you were going to go all crazy on me," he pleaded walking towards me.

I was fuming. I was pacing and I felt my face flushed.

"They were for him to share with his friends or family, Dad, not for you to just take. How can I just give him 5 now?"

Tears were flowing down my face by this time.

"I'm sorry baby, I didn't know," was all he said.

I stormed past him and went upstairs to my bed. I was breathing hard and still had tears running down my face. I heard my phone chirp with a text.

**How was your Sunday? – E**

I wanted to hear from him all day and now when it seemed that I needed him the most he reached out to me.

**My Dad is driving me crazy – B**

**Sorry anything I can do – E**

**You already did you text me :) – B**

**Well glad I can help… what did he do? – E**

I debated on whether or not I should tell him. I was still so upset and I had to talk to someone about it.

**I made something for you and my Dad ruined it – B**

**Really? What did you make? – E**

**I salvaged some, you can have it tomorrow – B**

**I'm excited can't wait – E**

**I should go I'm tired – B**

**See you tomorrow Baby – E**

What. The. Hell. He called me 'Baby'! I would let it go for now.

**Night Edward – Bella**

**Night – E**

I went to sleep and woke up with my phone still in my hand in the morning.

I got out of bed went to take my shower. After drying my hair I grabbed a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. I got the cupcakes out of the fridge and left for school.

I waited by my car in the parking lot for Edward and Alice to show up, did I always get to school first? I saw the Volvo pull in and my heart started pounding. Why was I so nervous about seeing Edward today?

I guess I noticed that something had changed with Edward and my relationship. I am not sure what it was but there was definitely something between us. I couldn't stop thinking about him. I wanted to talk to him and see him.

Edward walked over to my car and smiled at me.

"Hey" he said.

Why was it now awkward?

I reached into the front seat of my car and pulled out the box and handed it to him. His face lit up and he didn't even know what was inside the box yet. He read what I wrote on the lid and smiled at me.

"You really didn't have to make me anything Bella. I had a lot of fun too. I want to go out with you again," he stated. He looked at the box waiting for me to give him the okay to open it.

"Before you open it just remember my Dad is an idiot," I told him and nodded towards the box to give him the okay to open it. He looked inside and licked his lips. Made me want to lick them as well.

"They are red velvet I hope you like them. My Dad couldn't resist and ate one. He said they were good. I could have killed him though and I almost did," I rambled.

"Bella… Bella, stop. I love them they are good."

I hadn't even noticed that he was already eating one.

"I'm going to be in so much trouble for these," he added.

I looked at him questioning.

"I'm in training Bella. I am supposed to be eating healthy," he stated.

"Oh God, Edward. I'm sorry. Maybe I should take them back. I made enough for you to share with your family any way so you can give the rest to them."

"I'm not sharing Bella - these are too good," he said licking his lips. God help me - if he kept it up I'm not sure I would not be able to control myself.

"Thank you Baby.,." he leaned in and kissed my cheek.

I was blushing a deep red and I could feel my face getting hot.

"What are you two up to? What do you have there, Edward?" Alice came bouncing over to us.

"Share, Edward..." I warned. He gave me a pout before handing a cupcake to Alice.

"Is this what your Dad ruined?" Alice asked.

"Alice!" Edward chided.

"You tell her everything?" I didn't mean for it to come out like I was mad about it but that is how it sounded.

"Uh...hmmm…I…" Edward stuttered.

"It's okay, I mean, I don't mind. I guess I was just a little surprised. Sorry," I stated.

Before we could talk any more the bell rang. He asked if I would join them for lunch and I reluctantly agreed, instead of spending the time in the library. Alice and I walked to class together and Edward went in the opposite direction.

"How did the date go Bella? Edward was ecstatic when he got home. I have never had seen him like that. He was disappointed that you wouldn't let him kiss you goodnight. Why didn't you let him kiss you?" Alice looked over at me.

"Alice I am going to tell you something that I don't want you to repeat - not even to Edward. When I am ready to tell him I will. At my old school I was sort involved with someone who stabbed me in the back." I closed my eyes thinking back. "As much as I truly like Edward, I'm just afraid of getting hurt again."

"I know Bella, I told him that," Alice's statement threw me off.

"Uh, Alice? How did you know?" I asked, afraid that maybe she Google-d my name or something.

"I don't know. I just had a feeling… I can't explain it. I told Edward not to hurt you because I felt like your heart has already been broken," she concluded.

"Wow, Alice, I don't know what to say. I like Edward. I really do. I just need things to go slow. He is already going faster than I want. It is hard because as much as I like him and want this - it scares me. He wants to kiss me and call me 'Baby' and…"

She interrupted me, "he called you Baby?"

I nodded 'yes', blushing.

"I'm afraid if I try to take it slow he just won't be interested anymore," I told her.

"Bella, Edward is not like that. I am sure he would continue to pursue you. He has it bad girl," Alice giggled.

Well I guess Alice would know - he seems to tell her everything. Why am I sounding jealous? She is just Alice.

Class started and we had to end our discussion.

After class I went to the library for the tutoring session. I was still working with Emmett even though we never talked about English. He was too busy asking me questions about my life or what my interests were.

I was sure today it was going to be all about Edward and my date. I sat down at the table and pulled out my English book and notes. I waited for him to show up. Five minutes after class was to start Emmett came strolling in with lip gloss on his lips. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"What?" he asked.

"That color lip gloss doesn't go with your skin tone, Em," I giggled.

"Oh, damn Rosalie, sorry I was late Ms. Swan," he said bowing to me.

I laughed at him and pulled out the chair for him to take a seat. We worked on some of the homework he had and I answered some questions for him. He then folded his paper, closed his books and turned to me.

"So Ms. Swan, are you madly in love with Edward now?" He grinned at me.

"No, Emmett, I'm not. It was one date - give me a break," I informed him.

God, Edward's friends were so nosy.

"Those cupcakes you made were delicious, although he made all of us share just one. He sure is greedy with his cupcakes," Emmett laughed and I laughed along with him. "He's probably eaten them all. I bet he won't have any left by lunch."

"Yeah you're right, I have never seen anyone so in love with cupcakes in all my life," I said, shaking my head.

"Are you two love birds going out again?" Emmett asked.

"Emmett, why are you so nosy? I guess… well Edward said he wanted to but we have not made any plans," I informed him. No one would give us a chance to make plans.

Emmett finished the period telling embarrassing things about Edward while they were growing up.

"Once when we were in T-ball together Edward was up to bat and hit the ball, he started running to the bases but then realized he had to go pee. He was running around the bases holding himself," Emmett chuckled, "he didn't even make it to third base…he ran to the bathroom instead." Emmett was rolling on the floor laughing.

I chuckled mainly because Emmett was so expressive retelling the story.

By the time he had finished, the class had ended and we walked to the cafeteria together. I got in line to buy my food. Edward came up behind me and grabbed my hand. I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him. We walked and talked while getting our food and met everyone at the table.

"Hey, Pee Boy, what's up?" Emmett said and we busted up laughing.

"What the hell, Emmett? You promised!" Edward growled and his face was red.

"Ah, what's the matter Cupcake, don't like pet names?" I cooed to him while I messed with his hair - his wonderfully, soft hair.

He ducked his head and glared at me, then smiled so I knew he wasn't mad.

"I can't believe Emmett told you that story," he said taking a bite of his sandwich.

"I can't believe you ate all the cupcakes yourself and made your friends share just one." I looked him in the eye smirking.

"Well damn, Bella, they were so good, I couldn't give them up. They were lucky they got to share one at all."

Rosalie joined us at lunch as well as Jasper and Alice. They were making plans for the weekend.

"I have a cheer competition. I won't be able to go out because I'm usually exhausted after - and don't you all have a game on Saturday anyway?" Rose asked the guys.

"Yeah, but it is an early game. We could go out at night… have dinner, play some miniature golf or something," Emmett shrugged.

"Bella do you think you could come watch practice after school tomorrow? I would like to show you what I did so far and get your opinion," Rose stated.

"Yeah, sure Rose."

I was glad she wanted my help. I wanted to see the team she cared about get something for their hard work. I wanted to see that they got a medal at the competition before Rose left next year.

"So, what do you say Bella. Will you join us for some golf Saturday?" Edward asked. I nodded 'yes'. I didn't have to think twice about it.

"Want to go for a walk?" Edward asked me. I nodded and got up.

"Hey, Bella and I are going for a walk…we will see you later," Edward told our friends.

Once we got out of the cafeteria Edward grabbed my hand as we walked towards the parking lot. I wondered where we were going and if he was planning to take me to his car to make out with me. Maybe I was hoping.

Instead he led me past the parking lot towards the woods. Just beyond the trees there was a picnic table with grass all around. I never knew it was even there. He sat down and motioned for me to do the same.

"Wow we should eat lunch out here the next time the sun is out," I told him looking around.

"Yeah it is pretty nice, huh?" Edward said looking around. I felt like he had something on his mind but he didn't know how to say it.

He opened his mouth and closed it a few times, not saying anything.

We stayed there for what seemed like forever but it could not have been more than ten minutes before the bell rang signaling that it was time for the next class. We both walked to Biology together.

My least favorite class was Gym. I hated having to participate in whatever sport the coach decided to have us play.

Today it was not all that bad since Edward pretty much put me in a good mood. Yes, he had that effect on me.

I hurriedly walked to gym after Biology. I liked to get to Gym early so I could change before a lot of people got into the change room. I don't know why but I was a bit self-conscience. I never felt my body was good enough, average maybe.

I started undressing when I heard Lauren and Jessica talking on the other side of the lockers.

"I heard they went to Bella Italiano," one of them said. I listened closer because that is where Edward took me. There was no way they could be talking about me, could they?

"I don't know how they accepted her so easily. The first week here and she was already sitting at their table. Just like Alice, she was only popular because Edward sees her as his charity case. Maybe it is the same with Swan. He went out with her because he felt sorry for her, or she's easy, you never know," they giggled.

I felt panic start to rise in me. It was hard to breath and I had to get out of there. I grabbed my clothes and went into a bathroom stall.

I heard the teacher come in and tell everyone to get out of the lockers and go into the gym. I waited until I knew no one was left in there and changed back into my clothes.

Tears were falling from my eyes and I was shaking. This couldn't happen again. I couldn't let them ruin me again. I don't think I would survive.

"_Well if it isn't the Swan whore. Your drunk self all over Felix, how many others have you slept with, Bella, to get where you are?" Victoria laughed. _

_I was in the locker room shaking. The pictures looked too real. _

_Where did she get them? I thought she was my friend. She used me, ruined me and I had no idea._

"_Isabella, the principal wants to see you," Mrs. Green told me. I walked over to the office dreading what was coming. I knew it had to be bad._

"_Have a seat, Ms. Swan. We have been notified of some indecent pictures of you in compromising positions. It seems that we are suspending you from all cheer activities until an investigation can be conducted. Victoria will cover for you until a decision can be made," Principal Hunter informed me. _

_Everything I worked for was gone and so was my reputation. _

No, I had to get out of there and away from Edward. Not only will they ruin me but they will ruin him in the process. Starting today I no long could be associated with them. I ran out with tear in my eyes. I wiped them away heading for my car as fast as I could.

"Bella?"

No! He can't be here. Why is he here? He is going to question me. I took a few deep breaths and turned around, game face on.

"What?" I shouted.

"Baby have you been crying?" Edward asked. He reached for me but I backed away.

"I can't Edward… please don't make this harder. I have to go home," I said fumbling for my keys. "Can you please just leave me alone? I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you, don't ask me to. I can't take it - the pain. I don't want to go through that again."

I knew I was not making sense to him but I had to let him know.

"Bella, baby, I don't know what you are talking about. Please talk to me," he sounded panicked.

"No, Edward. I have nothing to say to you. I don't want this. I feel so pressured by all of you. Please leave me alone."

I finally got the keys out of my bag, ran to my car and got inside.

I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I watched him just standing there in shock, while I pulled out of the parking lot.

A/N: I will be hiding under a rock until next update. Don't hate me too much. Bella has a few things from her past she needs to deal with please be patient with her. Some things have been revealed but it is not everything.


	9. Chapter 9 Consumed

**Disclaimer:**

Nope still do not own Twilight but it most certainly owns me.

*Peaks out from behind rock*

Well, Bella is still dealing with some things. Should she follow her heart or her head?

This chapter made **Lady Tazz** cry as she pre-read…just warning you.

**Chapter 9 BPOV**

**Consumed**

I pulled up to my house, ran through the living room, up the stairs to my room. I heard my Mom calling to me, asking me what I was doing home so early, but I didn't respond.

Tears were flowing down my face. I wanted to hide; I wanted to make it all go away; but most of all I wanted to feel normal and loved.

Maybe I didn't really know what I wanted. I thought it was going to be so easy with Edward. He and Alice seemed to accept me the way I was - the real me. I didn't have to pretend to be a bitch, or be on the cheer team. I just had to be myself and they seemed to accept that.

Edward wanted the real me. Not the one that was hiding the entire time, in Phoenix, because I rather belong to the 'in crowd' than be an outsider.

But just like in Phoenix there were jealous girls who wanted to make me out to be something I wasn't. I was not a whore!

Even in Phoenix when I was drunk and hanging all over Felix or Riley, or whoever it was at the time, I was not like that. I had never slept with them. I had a lot more respect for myself than that.

I might have kissed and played around. I did not say I was innocent but sex was not something I was ready for.

I heard my Mom's soft knock on my door. She opened it, walked in and sat on the bed beside me. I was lying in the bed with the pillow over my head. I wanted to be left alone but I knew she wouldn't let me.

"Baby?" that brought back Edward's words and I started cry harder.

"Baby?" she began again, "tell me what happened? Did you and Edward get into a fight?"

If only it was that simple.

"I don't want to talk about it Mom. Why can't people mind their own business?" I said.

I heard her sigh. I think she thought I was talking about her but I was actually talking about Lauren and Jessica.

"Girls were talking about me in gym, Mom, and it wasn't nice. Saying the only reason I went out with Edward was to get him in bed and become popular. God, it is starting all over again!" I cried into my pillow.

"Honey, I hate to say it but girls will be girls. Edward is gorgeous and I am sure they were jealous when they found out he liked you or that the two of you went out." She tried to comfort me by rubbing my back and patting me lightly.

"They want to know what attracts him to you and they want that. Oh honey, don't cry. I don't think it will end up like Phoenix sweetie. For one, Edward likes you. He is not using you, you said it yourself, and he is not like the popular kids you went to school with."

She rocked me back and forth and I just cried in her arms. For the first time since we moved here I felt so alone.

I had my Mom call Esme and tell her I was not feeling well enough to make it to work. I couldn't risk going there and Edward showing up. What would I say to him?

I am sure he was wondering what the hell happened to me, but I was not ready to talk about it. I was not ready to face him. He probably thought I was crazy anyway. There would be no point in explaining. How would I anyway?

My Mom ordered a pizza so I wouldn't have to cook.

She forced me to go downstairs to eat with her and my Dad. I thought my Dad was going to give me the 'I told you so' speech but he remained quiet.

About an hour after we ate I heard a car pull up outside. I looked out and it was a silver Volvo. I got up and hid behind the stairs begging my mom to tell him I couldn't talk or see anyone.

I heard him knock on the door. My Mom got up and answered it.

"Oh, hey Edward," my Mom said casually when she opened the door.

"Is Bella here?" I heard him ask.

"She's not...feeling too well Edward," my Mom sighed looking back behind the stairs. Edward's eyes followed her's and I hid further back.

"She left school crying and upset. I was worried about her and my Mom said she called in sick to work. Can you tell her I'm sorry if I did something...I don't know what happened, Mrs. Swan?" He sounded so sad. My heart broke just a little for the boy standing at my door.

My Mom walked out on the porch and closed the door. I had to strain to hear what she was telling him.

"It's complicated right now. Just promise me you won't give up on her?" my Mom asked him, traitor!

I didn't hear his response but my Mom came in and closed the door. I heard the car pull away. I came out from hiding and told my mom I was going to bed.

The next two weeks I avoided everyone. I went to work and thanked God that Esme never brought up Edward or asked why I was sick. She looked at me and smiled, giving me sympathy looks. She never approached me about what happened at school that day, even though I'm sure Edward talked to her about it.

I was kind of afraid the following day when I hid at lunch in the library. No one, not even Edward or Alice, came looking for me. Maybe they finally figured out that I was not worth it and had made a new friend to hang out with.

I asked Mrs. Cope if I could stop tutoring Emmett. I told her that I was not making any progress with him anyway and asked if I could just use the library time to file books away. She was reluctant but agreed.

I told her maybe later I would reconsider tutoring someone else. Cut all ties - that was what I had to do.

Biology was the hardest. I tried to get them to move my class, but they said it was the only AP Biology class. I had to stay there, so the only thing I could do was to ask the teacher if I could change partners.

Edward saw me when I walked in. I knew he did even though I did not look to meet his eyes. I felt him staring at me. I felt that if I did look at him, I would lose my resolve and sit down next to him.

"Jane, I need you to change spots with Bella," Mr. Banner told her.

"What?" Edward practically yelled.

I never looked at him. When Jane got up I went and sat down in her seat. Jane's seat was closest to the door which was another reason why I wanted to sit there. As soon as the bell rang I was out the door and hid until I knew Edward would be gone.

I kept my promise to Rose because I felt like I couldn't let her down. Although she was dating Emmett she rarely sat with us at lunch. I figured she would be safe even though she and Alice were friends. I went to both practices she had. She invited me to the game the following Friday night. They were practicing in front of the crowd.

I was fond of Rose because she took no shit from anyone and I was hoping we would be able to stay good friends. A part of me wanted to be like her.

"Bella? Can I ask you something?" Rosalie asked after practice," you can say no and I won't ask again."

"What do you want to know?" I responded. I knew that the day would come sooner or later.

"How do you know so much about Cheer?"

"Ummm..." I started biting my lip, not sure if I wanted to tell her the whole story.

"If I tell you Rose, you have to promise me that you won't say anything to anyone, including Emmett." I looked her in the eye and she nodded 'yes'.

"I was once head cheerleader for my school in Phoenix. Now I don't feel comfortable talking about it, but I will tell you that something happened and they kicked me off the cheer squad. I was stabbed in the back and made to look like a whore." I let out a breath I was holding.

Rose's eyes widened and her head shook. "I'm sorry Bella I just don't see it."

"Rose I was a different person 6 months ago. I learned a lot from what happened. That people cannot be trusted and will use you to get ahead. I don't want to be popular any more – I'd much rather be myself." I was hoping she would let it go.

"Why don't you hang out with Alice and Edward anymore?" she questioned.

"Oh God Rose, why do you want to know? I don't want to get hurt. Even though I don't think Alice or Edward would hurt me, there are people out there that would. Not only me, but Alice and Edward too and they will stop at nothing to make it happen."

"I heard what was said in the locker room that day…I was there," she informed me and my eyes widened.

"Rose I don't want to talk about it." I grabbed my things and left. I couldn't deal with it. Everything was fine until she brought Edward into the conversation. I missed him so much.

After two weeks Edward was still texting me and calling me daily. I was almost to the point where I was ready to change my number.

Thank God Spring Break was arriving and I would get a break from him. I heard from Esme that their family, Alice included, were going to California.

The Cullens had a summer house in Malibu and planned to go to Disneyland. Esme asked if I would not mind working the entire week while they were gone since she was not going to be here. I agreed, happy that I was not going to have to spend all my time at home.

When I got home after I left Rose, there was a note saying that Jacob had called. I wondered why he hadn't called my cell. Then I remembered that I had put it on silent because Edward didn't know when to stop - not that I really wanted him to stop. He was showing me that he still cared even though I refused to see him.

I called Jake when I got to my room and he picked up on the first ring.

"Hey Bells, I thought you were avoiding all my calls because you were too busy with all your new friends," he chuckled into the receiver.

"Yeah you know me, the friend magnet," I chuckled, but it sounded fake, even to me.

"Billy said I can go visit you during Spring Break!" he said cheerfully.

"Jacob I would love for you to come out here. I will be working all week, 3 hours a day, but you can hang out with me while I work at the library," I told him.

"Sounds like fun - anything - as long as I get to spend it with my best friend. My Dad already talked to Charlie and he is picking me up at the airport a week from Monday. I have to go but I will text you before I leave okay?" Jake was excited.

We said our goodbyes and I was happy that my best friend was coming to visit me, just when I needed him the most.

I went to the game on Friday hoping and praying that Rose kept her end of the bargain by not telling Alice or Edward I would be attending. I arrived after the game started just in case I needed a quick getaway. I sat in the back and spotted Emmett sitting up front, alone, thank God. I found Rose, waved to her; she smiled and waved back.

My run-in with Alice did not go so well earlier that morning. We didn't talk to each other but she would smile once in a while. I saw her get up to speak to me once but turned around and sat back down or did something else - anything but talk to me.

I felt like Alice wanted to say something, but she probably had made a promise to Edward to give me some space. When I accidentally dropped my folder right at her feet - _yeah thanks Karma - _she bent down to help me pick it up.

She whispered, "I miss you," looking at me with sad eyes. I told her I missed her too but that it was complicated.

"Yeah Bella you keep saying that, but you never offer anything more. What is so complicated? Is it the fact that Edward can't even play ball and they lost the last 3 games? Is it the fact that Emmett is failing English and they are threatening to kick him off the team? Or is it the fact that you gave Edward the best night of his life and the next day you threw it away by removing yourself from our lives? I know that you are scared, Bella. I know something terrible happened to you. You have friends here, people who truly care about you and that are hurting because you can't or won't be friends with them. Don't let what happened in Phoenix ruin what could happen here." And with that she walked away.

I stood there stunned by what she said. I had no idea that she felt so strongly about our friendship.

It was half time at the football game so that meant that Rose was up. I couldn't believe how much better the squad was looking. The team was in a tight form and synced. They moved with the music, screamed and clapped on cue. I was so proud of her. She rose above, took the lead and encouraged the team every step of the way. I stood and gave her a thumb up to let her know that they looked fantastic.

Rose jumped up and down waving at me. That is when I noticed Emmett look from Rose up to where she was waving and saw me. He swiftly got out of his seat and was by my side in a flash. I didn't know people could move so fast.

"Well, well, who do we have here? I thought you quit school and moved away," he said coldly. Okay I deserved whatever he had to tell me, just like Alice. I would let him have his peace and hopefully he would move on.

"I'm not mad B. I see in your eyes that you are terrified by what I might say, but I know you must have a good reason for it and I am sorry you had to go through it." He got up and walked away.

I watched as Emmett went and hugged Rose. She whispered something in his ear, he turned around, looked at me and walked away from Rose. She motioned for me to come down so I went to her and gave her a hug. I told her that the squad had improved so much and that I was proud of her.

"Thanks Bella, I'm sorry about Emmett. I swear I didn't tell him you were here. I made him promise not to tell the others. That is why I didn't even tell Alice that we were practicing tonight - she would have insisted on coming."

Rose asked if I would attend the first cheer competition after Spring Break. I told her I would and that I would even help her with the practices. I enjoyed helping Rose without anyone knowing. It took my mind off of the other problems I refused to deal with.

Everything seemed to be going well. Alice didn't look at me anymore after the confrontation she had with me. I guess she had said her peace and was done with me.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I hurt all of them, something I never intended on doing.

What I didn't understand was why they all seemed to care for me. I was nothing special - I was ordinary. I had nothing to offer any of them except bring them all down.

Why was Edward not playing well and why was it my fault? I didn't understand it. I could see why Alice blamed me for Emmett - I abandoned him when he needed me. He didn't seem so hurt by it; he actually told me that he saw that I was hurting as well. He didn't even yell at me, which made me feel even guiltier.

My Mom woke me up bright and early on Saturday so I could go to the grocery store with her before I went to work. You know what happened last time so I got up. I got dressed, then threw a baseball cap on my head because my hair looked like a tornado went through it in the mornings.

We made our way through the store giggling about nonsense stuff. One thing about my Mom - she knows how to make me laugh even when everything around me is crumbling to the ground.

"So your Dad comes home late last night - he had to help the other county on a case- hangs up his gun belt and goes to sit on the recliner, but he didn't look and fell to the floor." She was hunched over laughing.

"I moved the chair earlier in the day because I didn't like where it was. I heard him fall to the floor and the words that came out of your father's mouth - God, Bella. I came running downstairs. He was so mad with me, but it serves him right for not watching where he sits."

My Mom and I were laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Leave it up to Renee. I didn't know how my Dad put up with her.

I continued pushing the cart and laughing. It felt so good to laugh I didn't realize I had pushed the cart right into someone. I looked up and saw Esme.

"Mrs. Cullen, I'm sorry - I was not paying attention," I told her.

"That's okay, dear. I didn't even recognize you with the baseball cap on," she stated. I blushed.

"Hey, Mom, can we get some cup..."

And there he was, looking stunning as ever. Even in sweats and a sweatshirt he looked beautiful. It really wasn't fair. I could never pull that off and then I blushed after realizing what I was wearing.

"Hey," he said, looking at me with sad eyes. I knew I was the reason behind them.

"Hi."

Before I knew it my Mom was pulling Esme to the vegetable section claiming that she had a question about asparagus. I thought, 'Thanks Renee, do you even know what asparagus looks like?'

This left Edward and I in the bread section, staring at one another. I had no idea what to say to him. I tried to ignore him and looked at all the bread pretending that I was looking for something.

"Uh…I miss being your partner in Biology. Jane is no Bella," he chuckled, but it was forced, trying to make light of the situation.

"If you don't want to…umm, go out with me, will you at least..."

I cut him off."I can't be friends with you either Edward," I started but then he cut me off.

"God, Bella, stop being a bitch!" he spat, then grabbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers trying to calm himself down. "Sorry I didn't mean it. I just miss you, that's all," he said, reaching for me, but I pulled away.

"I'm sorry too, Edward, I never meant to hurt you. It is the last thing I meant to do." I felt the tears building in my eyes.

All of a sudden Edward grabbed me and wrapped his arms around me. I heard him take in a deep breath. For a minute I allowed myself to feel and I held onto him, letting him know I felt it too, but nothing could be done about it. I patted him on the back, pulled away and said I was sorry. I called to my Mom that it was time to go.

"Honey what did Edward have to say?" my Mom asked when we got into the car.

"He called me a bitch and then said he missed me," I told her, wiping the tears away from my face. She didn't ask anything else.

The week before Spring Break went by fast. I worked the three days and I had a lot of homework that kept me busy. Edward continued to text me and when I changed my number he resorted to send me emails instead.

I even thought about asking my Dad what was considered stalking. I knew I would open a whole can of worms if I said anything so I kept my mouth shut. I just tried to avoid the emails, but a few stood out.

From: Edward Cullen (ecullen (at) yahoo (dot) com)

To: Bella Swan (bswan (at) yahoo (dot) com)

3/25/09

5:50 pm

Re: Spring Break

I know you changed your number because of me and I am sorry I am sending a ton of messages but it seems that since you don't want to speak to me it is the only way I can communicate with you. I'm sorry about the store the other day and calling you a bitch, I didn't mean it. I'll be in California with my family next week so I didn't want to leave things like that without an apology.

Rosalie told me what happened in the locker room that day and I am sorry those girl made you feel bad. You are none of those things they said Bella. Please believe me. I hope you will give me another chance when I return from California. I miss my friend – E

I never replied to his emails. I read them over and over again when I was feeling down. I wanted to have Edward back. I just didn't know how to do it until I received the following email. It sent me into a panic.

From: Edward Cullen (ecullen (at) yahoo (dot) com)

To: Bella Swan (bswan (at) yahoo (dot) com)

3/25/09

9:07 pm

Re: Next Week

Well this is my last attempt and then I guess I won't bother you anymore. I get the hint ok? I will be gone a week but if you feel like talking you have my number but in case you deleted it here it is again (360) 555-0618. Will you at least talk to me when I get back? Again, I miss my friend – E

The persistent little beautiful jerk.

I was beside myself. I missed him too and not just him but Alice and everyone. I hit reply and stared at the screen. I typed one word "**YES"** and sent the message.

I closed my laptop and refused to open it again - until at least the end of next week. I didn't want to know his reply back.

A/N: My heart is broken, but there is still hope. Don't try Edward's number it's not real nor are the emails *sigh*

Thanks to my beta **crazierthanu** for putting up with me.

Thanks to all my readers who decided to take a chance on me and this little story. I appreciate every single one of you.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer:

Twilight is not mine I own nothing.

So Edward takes us back to the first date…I know a lot hate it, but he has a mind of his own…Many asked about the bet and if Edward really likes Bella or if he is just going out with her because of it. I hope this gives you some answers.

**Chapter 10 EPOV**

**Good to Bad in 1.2 Seconds**

I was ecstatic - beyond ecstatic really. The date was perfect, except for the kissing part. I really wanted to kiss her. I wanted to from the moment I saw her standing in the reading room at the library. I had to tell myself to take it slow and that maybe by the end of the night she would let me.

I wasn't sure how comfortable she was so I tested a few things. When she reached over at the restaurant and patted my hand I felt the relief and electric energy in the air. I wanted to grab her hand and not let go.

I held her hand when we walked to the park, it felt so nice and she didn't pull away so that was a good sign.

I had to go and embarrass myself with those stupid cupcakes. Once I saw them I couldn't resist though. She laughed at me and ordered two after I told her I wouldn't share - nice Cullen, act like a pig why don't you. Then she tried to pay and I was not going to have any of that.

We made our way to the theater and I knew she was cold. She had that little jacket on and she was shivering. I gave her my jacket even though she refused it at first, and I knew she felt warm after. She let me put my arms around her. I thought I just might get the kiss at the end of the night after all.

I drove to her home and she introduced me to her parents. She seemed embarrassed by them but I didn't mind. Her Dad kind of scared me, but that was because he was allowed to carry a concealed weapon.

Her Mom looked me up and down, checking me out. I felt a little uncomfortable but soon Bella was calling it a night and pushing me out the door.

I leaned against the car and I knew she was thinking about something. Whenever she thought really hard her eyebrows pushed together, squinted her eyes and bit her lip.

I pulled her close to me. Inches apart, her lips were right in front of mine and I could feel her breath on my face. I leaned in and she stopped me by telling me not to do it. I opened my eyes and looked at her - she seemed conflicted. I wasn't really sure what to do so I gave her hand a small squeeze then got in my car and drove away.

I got home and went to my room. I had a huge smile on my face. I had never dated and I wondered if this is what I had been missing or if this was just a result of who I went out on a date with. I fell asleep easy that night.

The next morning I woke up to pounding on the front door. Seriously, who is up early on a Sunday and where were my parents? Both their cars were gone.

I looked around and found a note from my Mom telling me that my Dad had an emergency at the hospital and my Mom had gone to look at a house in Port Angeles.

"Alice what are you doing here at…" I looked at the clock. "…ten in the morning on a Sunday?"

"How was the date with Bella?" she asked with a smile.

"You know, it was a date, it was…good," I teased. I knew she wanted more information than what I was offering.

"Cullen, don't be like that. I am your best friend, tell me all the details." She hit me in the ribs. It was too early for this.

"Let's go eat and I will tell you," I told her. I got dressed and we went to IHOP.

I told Alice all about the date while we ate. I even told her about the cupcake and she practically rolled on the floor with laughter.

"Stop it! It's not funny!" I yelled. I'm never living that one down.

"Why do you think she didn't want to kiss you?" Alice asked me, but I couldn't come up with anything.

"I'm going to ask her," Alice said. I shook my head and asked her not to, but I knew Alice - she did what she wanted and no one could tell her not to.

After breakfast Alice and I took my car to get washed. It was filthy as the drive to Port Angeles had left bug splatter all over the windshield.

When we finally made it back to my place, it was well into the afternoon. Alice and I were lying on my bed talking, mainly about Bella.

Alice pulled out her phone and started to text.

"Who are you texting, Alice?" I asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Bella. I want to see how the date went?" she said. I rolled my eyes because I already told her all about it.

Bella replied a few minutes later wanting to know what I thought about the date.

Alice sent her a reply that I didn't kiss and tell. Bella replied that we didn't kiss at all. Alice asked why she didn't let me kiss her.

"Don't ask her that Alice, she is going to know I told you," I slapped her arm.

Alice ignored me and questioned Bella if she would go out with me again if I asked her. I had to stop Alice before she ruined everything so I sent a text to Bella. I told her to ignore Alice, which I think got me into more trouble because Bella then asked if we were together. The tone of the message made me think she was upset about it.

Bella meant to send me a message that Alice was crazy but sent it to Alice instead - that was classic. Alice got all huffy about it. I couldn't stop laughing.

"Edward, that is not funny, I'm not crazy - a little exuberant maybe - but not crazy!" Alice yelled. Yeah keep telling yourself that.

"Aww… Al, don't be mad, she just wants you to butt out and as a matter of fact so do I, don't ruin this for me."

Bella sent another message to the both of us that she had to go.

Alice left and I messed around with the piano a bit while the parents were out. I wanted to start composing that song that I had in my head.

I didn't know how long I was playing but I stopped when I heard the front door open and in walked my parents. I also noticed it was dark out. I must have been sitting there a few hours.

I had dinner and went back to my room. I wondered what Bella was doing and I really wanted to call her or text her. I wondered if I could find her email address. I decided to text her to see what she was up to.

Her reply sounded like she was mad or hurt. She said she had made a surprise for me but her Dad had ruined it. I wondered what it was but she said that I had to wait for school to find out. She was so cute.

I saw her standing by her car in the morning, looking as beautiful as ever. I could stare at her all day. I had to snap out of it and remind myself to walk up to her, not just ogle.

She handed me the box. When I opened it and saw the cupcakes, I wanted to kiss her or hug her or jump up and down and yell on the top of my lungs that I loved this girl.

What? Wait - I loved her?

She was rambling, for the most part I was not paying attention, I just knew it was something she did when she got nervous. I told her to stop because it didn't matter. I wouldn't care if her Dad ate all of them and saved me half of one.

It was the sweetest and most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for me. She told me to share but I knew I wouldn't - these were mine.

Bella joined us for lunch and as soon as Emmett and she walked in, Emmett made a comment about me being a 'Pee Boy'. He has called me that while growing up ever since the time during t-ball that I had to pee in the middle of a game.

Then Bella and he just busted up, I couldn't believe he had told her that! Pay-back's a bitch! Bella messed with my hair calling me 'Cupcake' - she was so cute.

We all made plans to go miniature golfing on Saturday. I asked Bella if she wanted to go for a walk and I took her to the place I used to go to when I needed to think. I don't think anyone else knew there were picnic tables just behind the trees.

You know the saying 'too good to be true'? That is how my day was. Things were going great. Bella and I were making progress and she was finally coming around. She was flirting with me and being playful. I was going to ask her out again and maybe if I got my nerve, I would ask her to be my girlfriend. Yes, I had it bad for this girl.

The teacher asked if I could take a note to the office. I was on my way there, wondering what Bella was doing, when I looked towards the gym. She hated gym most of all. She said in gym she was a disaster waiting to happen.

I noticed someone came running out of the gym and when I looked closer I noticed it was Bella. I hurried up so I could reach her to find out what she was doing.

I called out to her and she stiffened a bit before turning around. When she did she yelled, "What?" I noticed she had been crying. I started to panic, thinking someone hurt her.

"Baby, why are you crying?" I asked.

But then all hell broke loose and my world came to a stop. She said she couldn't be with me. She told me that I should just leave her alone. I didn't know what had happened in gym but something made her upset and it was somehow my fault.

I watched her get into her car and drive away. I tried to text her and call her but she never returned my call or text.

I sat in my car trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. Alice made her way to the car - I didn't even notice that she sat in the seat.

"What is it Edward?" she asked.

"She hates me," I told her, "I screwed up somehow. She came out of the gym crying and said she couldn't do this with me - to leave her alone," I mumbled the end of the sentence. It still didn't make sense.

I started the car and drove home. Alice was talking but I really couldn't make out what she was saying. When I pulled up my Mom was leaving. I asked her where she was going, as she was usually home to make dinner.

"I have to cover for Bella, her Mom called in sick for her. I'll be back in a few hours. Order pizza if you want." My Mom waved to me as she left.

Alice and I just looked at each other. Alice came in with me and ordered the pizza but I really didn't feel like eating. After an hour or so Alice said she was going home, patting me on the back.

I couldn't take it anymore. If she was mad at me I needed to find out what I could do to make it right. I got in my car and went over to her house.

All the lights were on in her living room. I knocked on the door and her Mom answered. I asked for Bella but she said she wasn't feeling well.

Renee kept looking toward the stairs, so I assumed that Bella was hiding behind them. I told her to tell Bella I was sorry and I hoped that she would feel better and I knew she had called in to work. I said it loud enough so I knew Bella heard me. I started walking away and her Mom came out with me; closed the door; told me to give Bella some time and not to give up on her.

"I'm not giving up," I told her. She nodded and closed the front door. I went to my car and left.

The next day at school started the torture. Alice texted me saying Bella had changed seats and wasn't talking to her. When I got to Biology the teacher said that Jane was my new lab partner and Bella had changed seats.

I practically screamed, "what?" Everyone stared at me, except Bella. She bolted out of class as soon as the bell rang and when I went out to look for her she was gone. I figured that I wouldn't see her at lunch and that she needed her space so I didn't even try to find her.

"Well, guess what?" Emmett started when he came to the lunch table. "Bella told the teacher she couldn't tutor me anymore because she wasn't making any difference any way. What the hell did you do to her, Edward, that made her hate all of us?" He stared at me.

"What are you talking about Emmett?" Rose asked him, "this doesn't have anything to do with what was said in gym does it?"

"What happened in gym?" I asked.

"Well I never saw Bella, but Lauren and Jessica were talking about your date. I guess some kids were there and saw you two together - they also saw you two at the concert. They called her a whore and said that she was only with you to be popular. Then they started in about Alice and I lost it. I told them they shouldn't talk about things that they knew nothing about but you know how they are." Rose rolled her eyes.

It made sense now - how could they hurt her like that? Just because they would use sex to get popular doesn't mean others are the same. I felt terrible and there was nothing I could do about it.

"What did they say about me?" Alice asked. Rose looked at me and then at Emmett.

"Nothing important, they're bitches, let's just leave it," Rose answered.

Over the next two weeks I texted and called Bella daily. She never answered or returned the calls but at least she knew I wasn't giving up and that I still cared about her.

On the downside everything else was falling apart. My mind was consumed with thoughts of Bella. I couldn't concentrate on tests - got two C's in two of my classes. I tried to get her out of my mind and think about something else but it never worked.

I couldn't play ball either. I messed up and lost 3 games, the fourth game the coach made me sit out. Everyone was mad at me; I was letting my team down.

As much as I was not looking forward to Spring Break, I thought maybe if I went without seeing her for a week that things would improve. It was going to be a long week.

I used to love going to California every year. Alice and I always had fun, but this year, not seeing Bella was going to be torture.

My Mom asked me to go to the store with her. I wasn't going out much - not even leaving my room if I didn't have to. I guess it was a way for my Mom to get me out of the house.

"Mom I don't feel like going," I told her.

"Come on, I need help…now!" she said with a stern voice. I knew there was no arguing with her.

Once we arrived at the store, my Mom said for me to go get whatever snacks I wanted - yeah I was spoiled.

I didn't even feel like eating, but I spotted some cupcakes and my eyes lit up a bit. They in no way compared to Bella's but they would do. Just when I was coming around the corner, asking my Mom if I could get the cupcakes, I stopped dead in my tracks.

Bella and her Mom were talking to my Mom. She was wearing a baseball cap and if I had not recognized her Mom I wouldn't have even known it was her.

Bella's Mom pulled my Mom away to go to the veggie aisle, and I wondered if it was to give us time to talk.

"Hey," I told her. I almost had tears in my eyes - when did I become such a girl?

She said 'hi' and went back to looking at the bread like I wasn't there, so I started talking again.

"Uh - I miss being you partner in Biology. Jane is no Bella," I laughed, trying to lighten the situation, "if you don't want to…umm… go out with me, will you at least..." I started but she cut me off.

"I can't be friends with you either Edward," Bella stated.

I was angry she wouldn't even let me talk.

"God, Bella, stop being a bitch!" I spat at her, and grabbed the bridge of my nose between my fingers trying to calm down. "Sorry I didn't mean it, I just miss you, that's all," I added quickly.

"I'm sorry too, Edward. I never meant to hurt you - it is the last thing I meant to do," she said, her voice cracking.

I didn't know what else to do so I grabbed her and hugged her with everything I had. I told her I missed her, would wait for her, and loved her with that hug. I just hoped she felt it. She squeezed me back and patted my back. Then she let me go, giving me a small smile. I felt like there was still hope.

The rest of the week went by in a flash and it was almost time to leave for California. I was packing, but at a snail's pace, even my Mom had to come in to help a few times.

Bella changed her number, because of me no doubt. _Stalker much?_ I finally was at my wit's end and sent her a final email the night before we left. I asked if she would be willing to talk to me when I got back. If she said no or never replied, I would leave it as that and not bother her again.

I fell asleep well after 1 a.m.. I woke with a start from a dream where Bella was drowning in the ocean and no matter how hard I tried to swim to her, I couldn't reach her.

I had not looked at my email since I sent the last one to Bella. I was afraid of what I would see.

I opened up my email to see a reply from Bella. One word changed my outlook…**YES**. She said 'yes'; she was going to actually talk to me. I sent a quick reply. I didn't want her to change her mind. I told her 'thank you' and that I would see her next Sunday.

Alice was over early and we all piled into the car to go to the airport. I was a lot happier than I had been for the last 2 weeks. Everyone noticed it too.

"Well you are in a better mood this morning son. Did something happen?" my Dad asked. Everyone was waiting on my response. I didn't want to get my hopes up so I decided not to say anything.

"Just looking forward to vacation," I said with a smile. Looking forward to _returning_ from the vacation, but they didn't need to know that.

We got to the beach house and put everything away. My Mom made dinner while Alice and I went for a walk on the beach. We were going to Disneyland the next day.

The time in California went by fast and I was so glad I received that email from Bella because I actually had fun after all, knowing I was going to get the chance to talk to her.

The plane trip back home was leaving at 7 a.m., so we had to be at LAX at 5 a.m.. I slept most of the way home, exhausted from the sightseeing week I had.

I secretly bought Bella a key chain from Disneyland with 'my' name on it just in case she decided she wanted to be with me.

My Dad woke me up when the plane landed. We loaded up the car and made the 1 hour trip back home. I couldn't keep still. I was antsy and biting my nails - I needed to see Bella.

"God, Edward, why are you so rambunctious?" Alice asked, "you're acting like me," she giggled.

"Ha-ha!" I rolled my eyes, "Bella agreed to talk to me when I got back," I informed her.

"Oh, that's great Edward, good luck," she said.

The scenery going through La Push on the way home was awesome. The beach and cliffs passed by right outside my window. Then something caught my eye… it was Bella's car. I looked over at Alice and she looked at me at the same time.

"That was Bella's car," I stated.

"That was Bella and she was there with someone," Alice said at the same time.

What was she doing there? Why was she there with some guy? Was that why she wanted to talk to me? Did she find someone else and want me to leave her alone? Damn it!

As soon as we pulled up to my house I got out of the car and into my car. I was going back to LaPush to see just what the hell Bella was doing.

I think I got there in about five minutes, even though the drive was usually twenty. I parked my car right next to Bella's and walked down to the beach.

They were sitting on a tree stump that had fallen over. The guy with her was tall, had russet skin, dark brown hair and was muscular. I tried to see if I recognized him from school, but nothing came to me.

Neither of them paid any attention to me and I startled them when I walked up to them. I was fuming. This is what she was going to tell me? That she had moved on? I thought all this time it was to tell me she wanted to be back with me.

"What the hell, Bella?" I spat; she jumped and stood up.

A/N: So there you have it. Edward is just as heartbroken. I hope these two can work it out…soon.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for beta'ing and making my words flow.

Thanks to all my readers, I appreciate all of you. Thanks for all the reviews.


	11. Chapter 11 New Conditions

**Disclaimer: **Twilight is not mine and nether is Edward but he is so much fun to play with.

Bella starts at the first day of Spring Break.

So Edward jumped to conclusions, let see if they can finally work things out…

**Chapter 11 BOV**

**New Conditions**

On Monday I finally decided to check my email. Edward seemed elated. Who knew one simple word could make someone so happy? It put a smile on my face as well. I couldn't deny it any more. I liked Edward, really liked him and the three weeks since our date had been a whirlwind of emotions.

I was sad and depressed. I wanted my friends back - hell, I even missed Emmett. I missed Alice and how she always saw the glass as half full no matter what - even the look on her face when she yelled at me. God, I knew it was not easy for her and that she was upset. We were friends and I shouldn't have dismissed our friendship like I had. I owed her a big apology for being such a bitch.

I had to work on Monday so my Dad went to pick up Jake from the airport. I was looking forward to spending time with my best friend. He was my sunshine, the one I could always count on. Despite everything that had happened to me - when everyone hated me and called me names - never once did he judge me.

Even when I admitted to doing some of the things that got me into trouble, he was there to hold my hand. I didn't talk to Jacob about Edward. He knew something was wrong because he knew me better than anyone, but I told him we would talk when he got here.

After my shift at the library, I drove home. Jake came out to greet me as soon as I pulled up. It was raining of course - when was it not? He was wearing shorts and a tank top; I was wearing jeans, a sweater and a hoodie. Leave it up to Jake not to be cold.

"Hey, Bells!" He pulled me out of the car and swung me around. "I've missed you babe."

"Oh Jake, I've missed you too, but can you please put me down. I can't breathe," I chuckled.

We went inside. My mom had ordered pizza for us. We all sat in the living room, ate and chit-chatted about what we had been up to. I told him about my job at the library, my new car, and he told me about his new car. Never once did he mention school and I was grateful; I didn't want to hear about it.

"I sort of have a girlfriend," Jacob stated, which took me by surprised.

"Really? Who is she and why do you say sort of?" I asked.

"Well, her name is Leah and she just started school in Phoenix this year. I say sort of because she wasn't too happy with me coming here. She told me she wasn't waiting around." Jake looked down; he was hurting.

"Oh Jake, I didn't mean for you to give up everything. Do you think she meant it?" I asked. Maybe I could call her and talk to her.

"I told her that we have been best friends forever and she has nothing to worry about - but you know girls," he nudged my foot that was hanging off the bed.

We made a bed for him on the floor in my room. He was my best friend and my parents trusted us. There would never be anything more between us then that.

He told me all about her. He really seemed to like her and I hoped things could work out for him, which made me think of Edward.

We fell asleep shortly after that. I was going to tell him about Edward. I needed to talk about it - with someone not involved - who could see it from an outside point of view.

The time passed by fast. I went to work every day and Jake went with me. He helped out a lot. It was amazing how busy the library was during Spring Break. I guess in a town so small there really wasn't much to do.

Jake and I decided we were going to go to Port Angeles for dinner and a movie.

We went to McDonald's for dinner. Even though Jake was not one to eat a lot of fast food, he was craving a Big Mac. I ordered a cheeseburger and a milkshake and we both got ice-creams after.

"So are you going to tell me about him or not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. He knew me so well. I was going to play dumb.

"What are you talking about?"

"Bells, I've known you your whole life. You get that look in your eye when you think, your eyebrows pull together and you bite your lip. Every once in a while you sigh and shrug your shoulders. Tell me what happened."

God, he was good.

I told him everything. When I admitted to him that Edward was important to me, I broke down. I guess I was admitting it to myself as well. I told him I was afraid.

"Bella, how are you going to know unless you take a chance? I see you are in pain and it has been, what, three weeks? I have never known you to be so worked up over a guy. He must be special." Jake hugged me.

"Well, I'm not giving up because I told him I would talk to him when he got back from vacation, which would be on Sunday. I'm going to tell him I'm sorry and ask if he would forgive me. I don't think I can tell him everything behind it but I am going to tell him that I'm afraid." I looked at Jake and he nodded.

Sunday Jake woke up early. The sun was shining through the curtains and he had a wicked smile on his face.

"What are you planning Jake?" I asked.

"Let's go to the beach, Bells." He jumped up.

Since I didn't have to work, we packed a lunch and headed over to La Push. I had not been there yet since it never seemed to be warm enough.

We made a picnic and we enjoyed the sun. We walked along the beach and talked a lot. He finally told me about school back in Phoenix. Victoria was the head cheerleader and everyone hated her.

"She rules the school but I think it is because everyone is afraid of her. Felix and Riley are the same as ever, Victoria's pets, but Felix has a girlfriend now. He is trying not to be around her anymore. It's hard to do since he is on the football team and she is at the practices and stuff. It sucks without you, Bells. I miss you." He was sad now.

He would be leaving soon and I didn't think I would see him until summer. I planned to go and spend a week with him and Billy during Spring Break

We walked back up the beach and sat on a tree stump.

"You shouldn't have let them run you from the school. Damn, Bella, they ran you out of the state. It is not fair!" He threw his hands up in the air.

I rubbed his back trying to soothe him. I missed him just as much as he missed me.

Suddenly I was startled by a voice of somebody walking up to us.

"What the hell, Bella?" he screamed. Edward looked furious and I had no idea why, but his next set of words tore my heart out.

"You push me away and once I'm gone you find the next available guy… seriously?" he spat at me. By this time Jake had stood up and I positioned myself between them.

"Seriously Bells, this is the guy you have been crying over all week?" Jake questioned. What had them both so uptight? Jeez, boys!

"Edward." I reached for him but he backed away. "This is my friend Jake, from Phoenix. He came to visit me during break." I tried to smile but it was getting me nowhere.

"I said we would talk when you got back Edward. Why are you doing this?" I whispered. The look on his face scared me and if I didn't know any better, I would think he was jealous.

"I saw you here…we drove by on the way home...I…God, I'm going home!" Edward turned and walked away.

"Edward!" I called after him but he just kept on walking.

"Bells, I think you should forget about him. He's a jerk!" Jake said looking toward Edward driving away.

"I want to go, Jake!" I said walking towards my car. My heart ached - I wanted to see Edward. We went to my car and left La Push.

Once I got to my house I started making dinner. Jake requested I make tacos. I hurried along in the kitchen, throwing myself into the dish I was preparing.

I had so many questions. Did I ruin my chances with Edward? I never saw him that angry before – not even the time he thought I wouldn't go to Port Angeles because of him.

I knew I wouldn't be able to see him tonight because after dinner we had to take Jake to the airport. His flight was leaving at 9:30 p.m.. Edward was going to have to wait until tomorrow. Maybe I could text him.

I had changed my number so he wouldn't be able to text me all the time but I really needed to know he was ok.

As I was heating up the shredded beef for the tacos I started making some cupcakes. I decided to make some with sprinkle frosting. This would my peace offering; he could take it or leave it. I sent the text.

_**Just want to make sure you are ok ~B**_

_**Im fine ~E**_

He was still mad.

_**Can we talk tomorrow pls? ~ B**_

_**What's wrong with today? ~E**_

I sighed; he was going to make this difficult for me.

_**Have to take Jake to airport tomorrow pls? ~B**_

_**Fine ~E**_

I didn't send another reply. He obviously needed to cool down a bit. Maybe it was a good thing we were not talking this day. Jeez - he was so moody sometimes, and oh so hot when he got all protective.

I said a tearful goodbye to Jake at the airport. It would be several months before I was going to be able to see my best friend again.

I fell asleep on the way home and my Mom woke me when we got back to the house. It was already midnight and I had to be up at 6 a.m.

As we made our way to the porch I saw a bouquet of flowers. I walked over and picked them up; they were beautiful. I opened to read the card, and it was from Edward:

**Sorry I'm an ass, forgive me?**

My Mom walked up behind me. "What was that for?" she asked.

"Well, he kind of saw Jake and I together, thought something else and made a scene," I told her.

"Uh-huh… that boy has it bad for you Bella."

I didn't have the energy to argue. I put the flowers in a vase and went to bed. I texted Edward once I was settled in, knowing he would be sleeping. I hoped he would see it tomorrow when he woke up.

**Thnx for the flowers, very thoughtful, ur not an ass. ~B**

I was not expecting a reply.

**Does that mean I'm forgiven? ~E**

**Yes, can u forgive me? ~B**

I didn't want to have this conversation now. He replied.

**What do I need to forgive you for? Can u talk - it is tomorrow after all? ~E**

**Can u come over? I'll meet you outside ~B**

**I'll let u know when I'm there ~E**

I jumped out of bed. God, I was a mess. I grabbed my sweats and a hoodie and pulled my hair into a pony tail. There was not much I could do because I heard a text chime on my phone in a short time.

**Don't make me freeze Swan ~E**

I ran down the stairs and opened the front door.

"Hey, you," I said.

Even at midnight Edward was stunning. He was wearing what he had on earlier except his hair was a mess. It must be from him running his hands through it. I noticed it was a nervous habit of his.

"I missed you," he said looking down at his feet. I motioned for him to come into the house. It was too cold to be outside.

"What about your parents?" he whispered.

"They sleep like the dead. I could probably sneak out and be back in the morning and they would never know," I said walking to the couch and sitting down.

I remembered the cupcakes I made for Edward. "Excuse me for a minute," I said, walking to the kitchen. I came back and offered him the box. His face lit up. It was the same kind of box I gave him before, so I'm sure he knew what was inside.

"You didn't have to," he said, opening the box and pulling out a cupcake.

"I know, but I wanted to. I know how much you like them," I told him.

"Wanna share?" he quirked an eyebrow at me.

"Love to," I said.

I went to reach for half but he stopped me and shook his head. He leaned over and put a cupcake to my lips for me to take a bite. I never took my eyes off his. I wanted to kiss him so bad right then and there it hurt. He took a bite after me and we both moaned.

"…mmmm… good," Edward said.

He offered me another bite, the same way as before, but this time I couldn't resist. I chewed, swallowed, licked my lips and moved closer to him. His eyes widened as he knew what I was doing.

He dropped the cupcake and moved the box to the side of the couch. He placed both hands on my hips and pulled me onto his lap as he looked into my eyes. I leaned in and captured his lips with mine.

I was lost.

I was in heaven.

All my fears and frustrations left and I felt safe, warm - and home - just by kissing this boy. My tongue came out and met his. He tasted sweet and delicious, due to the frosting, he was delicious. I broke the kiss to catch my breath and moved my head to the side as he slowly kissed down my neck. I wrapped my arms around his head playing with his soft hair.

I felt his hands move under my hoodie; when he got to the place my bra should have been his hands paused for a brief second before continuing to caress my back. His hands were heaven against my skin. I had goose-bumps all over my body.

It was by far the best kiss I had ever experienced.

"Edward?" I whispered against his lips.

"Hm?" was his response.

"My parents are in the next room, we should stop." I placed one last kiss on his lips.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me.

I moved off his lap and we both leaned our heads against the back of the couch.

"Does this mean…?" he trailed off.

"…that I want to try," I finished his sentence.

"Really Edward, I know I hurt you but I was scared, so afraid," I said, and told him I was sorry. I hoped he could forgive me.

"Rose told me what those girls said about you, Bella. People are going to talk, so if we are going to do this, then we are going to have to let them talk."

Edward leaned in to kiss me again. He held me close to him, taking in my scent just like I was doing to him. I could have stayed in this one spot on the couch and have him hold me for eternity.

"I should go, it is late and I'm going to be in trouble if I don't get home soon. Let me take you to school tomorrow?" Edward asked.

"OK," was all I said.

He got up, took the box of cupcakes with him and left my house.

Four hours later the alarm clock was waking me up. I groaned and rolled over. I was thinking about the night with Edward. He was so sweet to me. The kiss - God, those lips - I couldn't get enough. I was falling for him, hard. No, I was already completely gone. Something I hadn't wanted to have happen, but I was tired of fighting it.

Then I remembered that he said he was going to pick me up. I looked over at the clock. I had about twenty minutes until he would arrive.

I took a quick shower, had a bowl of cereal and waited for him…nervously. I was biting my nails and bouncing my knee looking out the window every five minutes.

Why wasn't he here yet? Maybe he had changed his mind.

"Bella, sweetie, what has you so nervous?" my Mom asked, as she looked out the window, paranoid, like she was looking for something. I knew it was just because I was doing it too.

"Edward and I talked - he is picking me up this morning," I told her.

"Oh, Bella, that is great, right? I knew things would work out. Oh, honey, he's here!" she squealed.

"Hi Edward!" She waved to him. God, could my Mom be any more annoying?

"Hey you," I called.

He smiled at me, opening the door for me to get in. I was expecting to see Alice in the back seat but she was not there.

"Where's Alice?" I asked.

"Um, she got a ride with Jasper this morning," he said, looking a little concerned.

"She is still mad at me, huh?" I asked. I didn't blame her.

"No, she just wanted to give us some space. She is upset that she lost a friend not because of what happened between us," he told me.

"Yeah well, after she yelled at me…" I started, but he cut me off.

"When did she yell at you?" he asked.

"After I started avoiding all of you, she told me that you couldn't focus on baseball and Emmett was going to get kicked off the team." I had tears in my eyes. I had caused all of them so much pain.

"I'm sorry B. Alice is just over-protective. She missed you too," he told me, grabbing my hand.

I had to fix what happened with Alice. I hoped she could find it in her heart to forgive me. If not, I didn't think Edward and I would be able to work.

Edward and I made it to school just in time for the first bell to ring. I walked to class and Alice was already in her seat. I smiled at her - she smiled back. I walked over to her and sat down. We had a few minutes before the second bell would ring.

"I'm sorry Alice, can you forgive me?" I questioned, twisting my hands and looking at my feet. I was afraid of her answer.

"Oh Bella, come here," she pulled me into a hug. I hugged her back, told her I missed her and no matter what happened I would never avoid her again.

Class started so I had to go back to my seat. Now I just had to deal with Emmett. I hoped he was just as forgiving as Edward and Alice.

The next few periods went by fast and lunch was approaching. I started walking to the cafeteria when someone came and put their arms around me. I knew who it was by the electricity that ran through me.

"So, am I allowed to call you my girlfriend now?" he asked, kissing my forehead. I had not thought about what Edward and I were. I wanted him to be my boyfriend.

"I would like that very much." I looked up at him. He grabbed my hand and led me to the table where Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were sitting.

"Well, well, well… what do we have here?" Emmett chuckled, "looks like Bella is back. And looks like Pee boy is finally smiling again."

We all started to laugh except for Edward, who threw an apple at Emmett, which hit him in the head.

"See that right there? Edward's arm is back too," he chuckled.

"Since everyone is here, I want to take the time to apologize to everyone. I'm sorry for the way I acted - I hurt all of you." I looked over at Rose, who knew more about the situation than any of them.

"Sometimes things from the past come back to ruin the future. It is hard to get through it but, I am willing to give it a try if all of you are willing to take a chance on me." I sniffled and hated that my emotions were getting the best of me. I always wore my heart on my sleeve like my mom told me.

"Baby, don't cry." Edward reached up and wiped the tears. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my hair. I hugged him back, wiped my tears and sat down to finish my lunch.

I had to work after school, so Edward dropped me off at home and said he would call me later. Maybe things could work out after all.

A/N: They kissed squee! They are finally together too, phew. That was a long road even for me.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for putting up with me and my craziness. You readers are amazing, thanks for all the wonderful reviews.

I have a wonderful story to rec. I am 100% Team Edward/Bella but this story has captured my heart. _This Changes Things_ by theunderstudy. It is an Emmett/Bella story. It made me laugh and cry and want to slap Rosalie. Go read you won't be disappointed.


	12. Time Flies When You're Having Fun

**Disclaimer:**Do I really have to say it? Twilight is not mine. 

So, kind of a big chapter here, you all have been waiting to find out what the hell happened to Bella in Phoenix. More about that after you read…

**Chapter 12 BPOV**

**Time Flies When You're Having Fun**

A month has passed since Edward and I have been together. Things had been good. He started coming to the library when I got off work so we could do our homework and study. That was mainly because when we were at my house or his study sessions would turn into make out sessions and we never got any work done. At least at the library, we studied. If my grades dropped because of Edward my parents would freak.

I went with Rose to the cheer competition and Forks came in 120th place, which was pretty good, considering that last year they ranked 670th out of 1000. I was so proud of Rose.

No one knew I went with Rose. I lied to Edward. I felt bad about it but was not ready for him to know everything. I told him I was visiting my Aunt for the weekend. My Mom went with us as a chaperone, since Rose's Mom was not able to make it.

"Rose, you did so well, I'm so proud of you. I bet next year you can be number one, if you keep practicing." I hugged her.

"I don't know, Phoenix is pretty good. That's your old school, right? I bet you're proud of them. Do you know Vicky?" she questioned. Yeah, I knew her all too well.

"Yeah," I said sarcastically; sensing the tone in my voice, she questioned me.

"I take it you didn't like her." Rose tilted her head to one side.

"Rose, you have no idea. Don't trust her and don't make friends with her." I looked around. "Was she here? I didn't even see her, thank God!"

"Tell me, Bella. I know you told me some, but I would like to hear the whole story. What happened to you in Phoenix?" She was begging me with her eyes to trust her - to let her know my secret. Was I ready to tell her?

"Okay Rose, take a seat." I sat down next to her.

_I was the Cheer Captain and, as a sophomore, the youngest captain the school ever had. They usually reserved the captain's position for juniors and seniors. _

_Things were great and my team was the best. I worked them hard but always looked after them. I never belittled them or made them feel bad. _

_In all honesty the Cheer Squad and the football team ruled the school. The teachers looked the other way when we did something wrong or showed late for class. We all hung out together. Partying was a major role in our circle. _

_Every Saturday night we would go out or someone had a party and when we won games it was an even bigger reason to celebrate. A lot of alcohol was involved - probably even drugs - but I never did either…at first._

_Vicky started at our school when she was a junior. She was captain at her old school and hated me from the moment she saw me. I didn't know it at the time because she was all about being sneaky and getting into the circle. She didn't have a problem with using people to get what she wanted._

_She had a lot of knowledge and soon became kind of like my second. I was unaware that she had tried to convince the school that I shouldn't be captain. I'm sure they would have listened if we just hadn't won championship. Since she couldn't get that she decided to become my friend and ruin my life. She fooled everyone - including me. _

_I was shy even then and being captain was a big step for me. I never had a boyfriend even though I liked a few guys. I confided in her that I liked Felix and that I was too shy to flirt. _

_She started pushing me to drink and I started having a beer here or there or whatever they were serving at the party. She always stayed sober, always. I never questioned why at the time but I know now. When I started getting drunk she would take me home and explain to my parents that I was drunk, which looked like she was a good friend by driving me home._

_Drinking took away my shyness. I flirted a lot and even did things with Felix or Riley - sometimes both in the same night. I was not tied down to either; they didn't want a girlfriend but they wanted to mess around. It's not something I'm proud of._

_My grades started to slip - I was a straight A student before - my parents were starting to worry about me. The drinking became every weekend. Vicky would pour it down my throat practically. _

_I was trying to be good and I had Jake go with me to the party because I needed a friend. Once I was in a room with Felix, things were getting hot and heavy. After giving him oral, he was pushing to do more, but I couldn't - didn't want to. I had to fight him off. Jake heard me yelling and came to help me. _

_I swore after that I wouldn't get drunk any more. I was tired of it and I felt my life was falling apart. I fought with my parents more and more and was always angry with them. _

_All of this continued until the middle of last year. I was trying to hold it together but was miserable at it. Soon the squad was not even listening to me anymore and only listened to Vicky._

_It was winter break and there was a party. I didn't want to go but Vicky insisted on it. She asked my parents if it was ok and said that no alcohol was going to be there. They said 'yes' and even though I knew something was up, I went anyway. _

_I was having fun and I didn't have anything to drink. I started talking to Riley again and he seemed like a nice enough guy. We spent the night talking and dancing, then he said he was leaving early and went home. _

_Vicky gave me some punch and sat with me on the couch. She drugged me. I don't remember a lot of what happened after that. I felt really high and sick. I could barely walk or even think. I asked her to take me home. I remember her telling me to lie down upstairs until she was ready to go. I think she helped me get up there, but I can't say for sure._

_I could hear people but it was like I was out of my body. I couldn't function and I just wanted to sleep it off. Nothing was making sense to me. _

_I woke up the next morning with a major headache in the same room and naked. It was already 7:30 a.m. and I had no idea what had happened. I found my clothes and called my Mom to come pick me up. My parents lost all trust in me. _

_I tried to tell my Mom that Vicky had to have drugged me because I didn't drink anything but the punch and I felt hung over. I said I was sorry but it just was not enough. _

_I tried to call Vicky but she avoided my calls. It wasn't until Monday when I got to school that I knew what the damage was. I heard people whispering and talking about me. I was popular they liked to talk._

_I went to my locker and found 'whore' written on the outside, I ignored it, but when I found a note on my desk in English class I was upset. I didn't know why they were calling me a whore. _

_I left school early because I was not feeling so well, the drug was still in my system. I got to my car and it said 'whore' all over it and there was a note on the windshield. _

_I was floored by what I saw. It was a picture of me, naked in the bed I slept in that night. I was in the bed with two guys. I knew one of them was Felix but I didn't know the other one. You couldn't see their faces but you most definitely could see mine. It was not only my face that you could see - it was my entire naked body. _

_I ran home and showed it to my Mom. I told her that I would not do anything like that and that it was planned; they wanted to ruin me._

_I received a call from Jake to check Facebook. I was afraid of what I might see but I checked it any way. There were more pictures of me. It seemed that the entire student body forwarded my pictures to everyone they knew. _

_Some were sent to parents of my cheer squad that said: __**Would you want this to be your daughter? **__Some of the pictures were of me when I was awake just unaware of the fact that pictures were taken of me. I was dancing in some, with a beer in my hand or making out with Felix or Riley. _

_Parents were mad and it didn't help that my Dad was a police officer - it made it worse. The principal called me into the office and told me that they were doing an investigation and would let me know if I could be back on the cheer team. It never happened, they handed it to Vicky. She got what she wanted. _

_It didn't end though. My parents helped me and believed me once they saw the picture and my Dad tried to do something about it but there really is nothing he could do. _

_They came to my house and toilet papered it one night. Another time they wrote whore on the windows. We could not escape it. I was harassed at schools and even the teachers were mean to me. _

_I tried for two months to get my grades back up but the highest any of the teachers would give me was a 'B' or a 'C', saying that I needed to improve on my effort. _

_My parents were done and I couldn't handle it any more. The stress was getting to me and I started having panic attacks just thinking about going to school. _

_That is when my parents decided that we were going to move. In less than a month they sold our house and we moved here._

I had tears in my eyes and they started rolling down my cheeks. It was the first time I had ever told the story out loud. Rose was crying too and she was holding my hand trying to comfort me.

"I promised myself I would never get caught up in that again, Rose. That is why I fought so hard to keep my distance. Then when Lauren and Jessica were talking in the locker room it brought back all those emotions and I lost it," I told her.

"Oh, Bella, I am so sorry. That bitch should pay. I can't even imagine what it was like for you," Rose sniffled, "you should really tell Edward, Bella, he would understand."

I knew he would understand, but I just wasn't ready to tell him.

We fell asleep soon after and we had to get up bright and early to head home. I missed my little Cupcake.

I still had not told Edward about what happened to me in Phoenix. Edward parents were having a party for his birthday. I offered to bake a cake and Esme gave me the day off so we could celebrate.

I had no idea what to get him. What do you give someone who had everything? I finally got Edward a gift card to the music store we visited in Port Angeles. He said I didn't have to give him anything; that I was a good enough present.

God, I loved him.

"So what are your plans this summer Bella?" Carlisle asked when we sat down for dinner.

"I'm not sure. I think I am going to go to Phoenix for a week to see my friend," I told him and winced after I said it because I hadn't even told Edward of my plans yet.

"When are you going?" Edward asked.

"I'm not sure - probably in August I guess," I shrugged. I really did not think that far ahead.

"Well you should come and visit us in California when Alice comes out," Esme said catching me off guard.

"California?" I questioned looking at Edward.

He did the same thing I did when I mentioned Phoenix. I guess he forgot to mention that he was going to California.

"Didn't Edward tell you? We go to California for the summer. We leave the day after school ends and return a week before it starts. This is the final summer probably. Edward will be graduating next year," Esme continued.

I was angry. Why hadn't he told me? Sure, I hadn't told him, but I was going to be gone a week in August; he was leaving in 3 weeks and not coming back until the first of September.

"Don't be mad, Baby," he whispered in my ear.

My traitor tears were not going to get me. I took a few breaths.

"Well, it would have been nice to know my boyfriend was not going to be around for the summer," I spat at him. We could not have this conversation here.

"Can we not do this now?" he asked and I nodded.

"But don't think you are off the hook," I told him.

I ignored him for the rest of the night. He opened his presents and we sang 'Happy Birthday'. He tried to kiss me and hold me but I wouldn't let him. He finally gave up and left me alone.

"Looks like someone is in the dog house," Alice teased as she came up to me and sat beside me.

"Yeah well, he should have told me," I told her.

"Yes, he should have, but are you really going to make that boy miserable on his birthday?" she asked me.

I looked over at my Cupcake and he was sitting on the patio by himself eating another piece of cake and drinking a glass of milk. He was such a baby. With a heavy sigh I walked over and sat down next to him. He didn't look at me – so, he wanted to play games.

"Did you know that there is a rule that if it is your birthday that you are not allowed to eat cake alone - it's bad luck or something," I blurted out. I was just making shit up.

"You'd better stay away from me - you wouldn't want to be a part of the bad luck," he said.

"Oh…but I heard if someone that loves you sits next to you, the spell is broken," I said, looking up at him through my lashes.

"I don't think you are sitting close enough though," he said, flashing me that sexy smile of his. I stood up, went and sat on his lap.

"I should have told you…sorry." He kissed my forehead.

"I'm sorry too, I don't want to fight." I held on to him.

He pulled my head up to meet his, I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him with everything that I have.

Kissing Edward made me dizzy and dazed - I could only think about those lips.

I was not thinking and whispered into his kiss, "I love you." He froze.

I realized after - that was the first time I ever told him I loved him.

"What?" he asked, looking at me.

Could a hole please open up and take me in?

"I..umm..I," I stuttered.

"I love you too, Bella, with all my heart," he said, pulling me into him and kissing me again. This time he kissed me hard, demanding, pushing my mouth open with his tongue. I moaned a little; forgetting where we were.

"Hey, can you two give it a rest already," Em came outside and sat next to us.

Our little bubble had burst. Edward chuckled before he released me and I snuggled next to him in the chair.

"Hey, I talked to your Mom - she said we can take you out for your birthday. Tyler is having a party - what do you say?" he asked Edward.

"Baby, do you want to go? Tyler is good, and he is on the team," he asked me.

"I'm kind of tired, Cupcake." As I looked at Rose I knew that she knew why I didn't want to go.

"Can we do something else?" I asked.

"No - come on Bella, let Edward go, please. It's his birthday," Em begged.

"I'm not Edward's keeper. If he wants to go he can, but I am not going." I crossed my arms over my chest. Em was pissing me off.

"Well, Jasper and I are going. Bella, come on, let's go. Rose, you're going too, right?" Alice asked Rose.

"Sure, whatever Em wants to do but I think Edward should stay if Bella doesn't want to go. I know he will just be moody and a pain in the ass if she is not there with us." She smiled at me.

I knew it was too late. Edward had that look in his eye. He had made up his mind; he wanted to go.

"Do you mind if I go for awhile? I'll call you in a few hours; you can pick me up and we can hang out." He kissed my forehead.

I had to let him go; I couldn't hold him back. I nodded 'yes' and looked over at Rose.

I made a promise to my parents when we moved - I wouldn't go to any house parties. I wouldn't let them down; they trusted me.

I would just have to wait for Edward to call and I would pick him up. I said goodbye to everyone and Edward walked me out.

"I'll call you… promise," he said.

"Just take care of yourself Edward, please, and if you need me call me when you're ready to leave. I love you." I kissed him.

"I love you too, baby." He turned and walked into the house.

I was waiting for Edward to call. He sent me a text at 10 p.m. saying he was having fun and to give him one more hour, which I didn't understand because I wouldn't be able to hang out after eleven.

I'm not sure what time it was when my phone started ringing. I missed the call. When I woke up it was 12:30 am. The phone started again and I answered it.

"Hello?" I said, my voice hoarse from sleep.

"Bella, it's Rose. You need to come pick up Edward," she said, worried.

I shot up in bed, started to pull my clothes on and I didn't even know why.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"He's…drunk and he won't let Em put him in the car, he says he is waiting for you. Bella, I'm sorry." She felt guilty.

I got directions from Rose. I snuck out of my house. I was dead if my parents found out.

The party was still in full swing when I got there. Rose, Em, Jasper and Alice, were waiting on the curb. Edward was leaning on Emmett, mumbling something I couldn't make out.

"What the hell, Emmett?" I was pissed. How come Edward was the only one drunk? Did they get him drunk on purpose?

"Don't worry Bella, Em is already on my shit list." Rose shot a look at him. Emmett shrugged; he didn't know why it was such a big deal. I couldn't deal with this shit and I didn't need this in my life.

Edward heard me and sat up.

"Baby, is that you, my Love?" he slurred. God, he was wasted. I couldn't be mad at him right now. I needed to get him home and I didn't know how I was going to do that without his parents finding out.

"It's me, let's go home Edward." I grabbed his arm to pull him up. He stood but fell back. Em caught him, helped him to my car and got him into the seat.

"Thanks Em, you said you would take care of him… thanks a lot," I snarled at him.

I got into the car and drove off, leaving all of them on the side of the road.

Edward was mumbling again.

"Beeeellllaaa? Pull over please." Great, now he was going to get sick.

"Come sit with me." He reached for me.

He started kissing me and touching me. "I need you, Baby," he whispered.

He pulled at my shirt, his hands roaming over my body. He could not keep his hands to himself.

"I have to get home, Edward. I'm going to get in trouble and so are you if we don't go. Can we talk tomorrow?" I begged. I couldn't do this.

"Talking is not what I had in mind," he whispered into my ear. He started kissing down my neck. I pushed him away.

"No, Edward we can't. I won't. I don't want to do this; plus you are drunk. It is not the time," I told him. I got back into the driver seat.

"Beelllla," he whined.

God!

"What?" I yelled.

"I think I am going to get sick." Edward opened the car door and puked on the side of the road.

I waited until he was done and closed the door. I drove to his house. The lights were on and I'm sure his parents were waiting for him. I thought, 'here goes nothing.'

I knocked on the door and Esme answered.

"Bella?" she questioned.

"I'm sorry, Esme. Edward called me, he's… ummm…drunk," I told her.

Her eyes widened and she called for Carlisle. Now I knew the look my Mom must have had all those times that I came home like this.

"He passed out in the car," I told them.

Carlisle came out and helped to get Edward back in the house.

"Oh, hey, Dad, what are you doing here?" Edward asked his father.

"Let's get inside Edward." His Dad told him.

"No, I want to sleep with Bella," he said. My face blushed, thank God it was dark.

"Well, Bella needs to go home," he told him.

"Okay, night Bella I uv ooh," Edward slurred.

"You should get home Bella. I have him, thank you." Carlisle grabbed Edward and I waited until they were in the house before I left.

I got home and sent a quick text to Rose letting her know we had both made it to our homes.

I didn't wake up until after noon. I was exhausted and still pissed. It took me hours to finally calm down enough to fall asleep. I shouldn't have been too upset with him; it is not like I had never done it before.

I just didn't want him to fall down the same path I did. Then there was the touching. If he had been sober it might have felt nice; but he was drunk and had no idea what he was doing. I wouldn't have sex with him when he was drunk - that is not how I envisioned my first time.

I was so upset with him. He had already sent me ten text messages and called a few times, but I was not ready to talk to him. I needed to go and talk to Emmett first and let him know why I was so upset.

Deciding I needed to get up, I took a shower and drove over to Emmett's house.

I walked up to Emmet's, asking Rose to meet me there; mainly because I was so furious with him I just might have kicked his ass.

"Take it easy on him Bella, his beautiful face belongs to me," she teased me. Em met us at the door.

"Bella?" he questioned, obviously just waking up.

"I've come here to kick your ass and Rose offered to hold you down," I taunted.

"Bella, I said I was sorry," he pleaded, "I didn't know he was such a lightweight," Emmett chuckled. He still didn't understand.

"Em, it destroyed me seeing him like that. My heart broke more than once last night. The first time was seeing him drunk and the second was pulling him off me when he thought he was going to get lucky," I told him.

"Hey, I don't want to hear about that," he said.

"Well you are going to hear a lot more. I want to tell you about my life in Phoenix." I looked at Rose. "Are you going to let me in Em? It might take awhile."

A/N: I just want to make it clear that Bella was not raped. There are a few things Bella does not remember that will be revealed later on.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for beta'ing this for me and always encouraging me. Thanks to my readers and everyone who reviews, it means a lot to me.


	13. Chapter 13 Popular

**Disclaimer:** Twilight is not mine. I just like to play with the characters.

So many have asked -when is she going to tell Edward? Let's just say he will be the last to know, but it will be soon. This is an HEA and there are 29 chapters and an epi. Be patient and understand Bella has a long road ahead of her and she has yet to deal with any of her issues. I just want everyone to keep that in mind.

**Chapter 13 **

**Popular**

Em did not take it as well as I thought he would. He was pissed and ready to hit someone or something. Rose had to calm him down. When he finally was calmed he scooped me up in a big bear hug and said he was sorry.

"Shit B, I wish I knew before," he said shaking his head.

"Bella, you are like a little sister to me. If you want me to kick that bitch's ass, I will. I'm sure Rose will help." He looked over at her and winked.

"Are you going to tell Edward?" he asked. That is the question everyone asks, but I just don't think I could. Especially not with me being mad at him.

I sighed, "Yes, I'm going to tell him. Just not yet."

I left Em's house and made the dreaded drive over to the Cullen's. I was mad, upset and disappointed with Edward. I wondered if he was awake and if he had a hangover. Would he even remember what happened last night?

I got to the door and knocked. Esme came and answered it. I asked if I could come in and she opened up the door to let me pass.

"Edward is still asleep, dear. I'm sure he is not feeling too well right now," Esme said walking into the kitchen.

"Do you mind if I go up to see him?" I asked. She motioned for me to go ahead with a wave of her hand.

I made my way up to his room and opened the door. He was lying on his bed, face down with a pillow over his head. I nudged his foot, he groaned and rolled over.

"Mom, not now… I need to sleep," he mumbled into the pillow.

"I'm not your Mother!" I said with a stern voice. Maybe it was a bad idea that I came over.

"Baby? Come here," he called.

"Right now Edward. I. Am. Not. Your. Baby!" I growled. He looked up at me and turned around.

"Bella?" Edward said trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Edward, I am upset, I shouldn't be here." I turned to leave but he stopped me, looking at me for some answers. "You didn't call when you said you would and you…you got drunk! How could you be so stupid? Why wouldn't you let Em take you home? Why did you have to wait for me?" I was yelling and pacing in his room. He just stared at me.

"I had to pick you up and bring you home to your parents. You know how embarrassing that was?" I stopped at the door. I had to get out of there before I said something I would regret.

"Edward I have to go, I can't be here right now. Please don't call me; let me cool down first. I will see you at school tomorrow." I walked out the door and left.

I spent the rest of the day cleaning my room. I cleaned out the closet and my drawers. When I was done with my room I started in on the bathroom. I took all my frustration out on the bath tub and toilet.

My Mom came to see what I was doing. She knew me well enough to know not to ask. When I was upset and frustrated I just needed to be left alone with Mr. Clean.

Later in the day Alice called to see how I was doing and if I wanted to go hang out with her. I was tired of being home so I told her we should go somewhere. I picked her up and we went to Port Angeles. It was a bit of a drive but I didn't mind. It got me out of the house and my mind off Edward and his cute-drunken–ass.

"Jasper asked me to be his girlfriend!" Alice brought me out of my reverie.

"I thought you two were already established?" I told her.

"Yeah, I guess we were, but he wanted to make it official. He is such a gentleman. I'm really lucky," she gushed.

"You and Edward are okay, right?" she asked with a timid voice.

"Yes, we are," I sighed, "I am just mad at him right now, Alice."

We had a good time. We had a late lunch and caught a movie. On the way home I decided I would tell Alice about Phoenix. I wish I could have got them all in the room at the same time to tell it once and be done.

Alice cried and I had to pull over to comfort her.

"Alice it is okay, I moved past it, it's over. I can't be upset because it brought me to all of you and…Edward. I never thought I would get a guy like him. I love him. I've never felt this way about anyone before." I hugged her and she cried some more.

"I just knew something happened. I'm so sorry, Bella. You make Edward so happy. I know it seems odd but he is different because of you." She wiped her eyes and nose, then patted me to let me know it was okay.

I started driving again and dropped her off at home. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were playing ball in the street when I pulled up. I waved to them, dropped Alice off and went home. I was tired and drained. I needed a nap, especially since my room was sparkling clean. I had a total of 3 hours of sleep.

Edward never called or texted me, even though we usually did before we went to sleep. I missed him, but he had to realize what he did and that it hurt me. It was still an issue we had to discuss, when the time was right.

I sat in my house staring out the window. Edward always picked me up for school, ever since we officially got together over a month ago. Was he picking me up that morning?

"What are you doing Bella?" my Mom asked, looking at me from the kitchen, her hands full of clay. She was trying pottery for the fourth time. You would think she would give up by now.

"I'm mad at Edward and told him I needed to cool down. I didn't ask if he would still pick me up and now I don't know. He's late," I told her. She wasn't even listening; she had already gone back to her pottery.

With a heavy sigh I grabbed my book bag and headed out the door. I guessed I was driving myself to school. I hated driving in the rain. I was opening my car door when I heard a voice.

"Sorry I'm late," Edward said, sticking his head out the window. I turned around and smiled at him. How could I ever stay mad at that face? But when I looked, something was off. He was worried about something. I got in the car and we headed to school. We were going to be late.

"What's up?" I asked - might as well get the pink elephant out of the car before we got to school.

"Alice is mad at me. She called me an ass and said she could find her own ride to school. She shut the door in my face!" He threw his hands up. "Do you have any idea why?" he asked. I could think of a few reasons but I shook my head. I didn't want to get into that.

"Don't be too upset, Cupcake, I'm sure she is just being Alice. Something upset her; once she cools off I'm sure she will come around," I tried to soothe him.

"Maybe it had to do with what happened at the party," I suggested. Edward froze and gripped the steering wheel. "Sooner or later we are going to have to discuss it, Edward," I informed him.

"I'm sorry about that, Baby. You know I am. I was stupid, you forgive me don't you?" He grabbed my hand.

Of course I forgave him, the silly boy, if I didn't I wouldn't have been there.

"Yes, it was stupid and yes, I forgive you. But I will not come to your rescue again. Let me be clear here. Never again. Call me drunk once more and that is a deal breaker, right there, got it?" Edward nodded.

"Try and force sex on me again, and I will tell my Dad…he carries a gun, you know." I got out of the car and walked to the office to get a tardy pass.

I walked into class late and gave the teacher the note. Alice waved for me to sit by her.

"Why are you late?" she whispered.

"Because someone decided to give Edward a hard time this morning." I looked her in the eye lifting one of my eyebrows. That's right, Ms. Brandon, 'fess up.

"Well, I was mad at him about getting drunk after you told me what happened and when I saw him standing there I just snapped." She shrugged.

"This is between Edward and I - don't make it about you and him. He doesn't know what happened to me yet and he has no idea why you are mad," I told her, "make up with him by lunch time, missy."

"Fine," was her only response.

Emmett and I walked to the cafeteria together. He was being tutored by a girl name Angela and he waited for me at the library. Something had changed between Emmett and me. He now acted like a protective older brother. Not that I minded; I always wanted a brother.

Alice, Jasper and Edward walked in at the same time. I guess they had made up. Rose joined us soon after and the entire gang was together.

Edward came and sat next to me and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me. He whispered in my ear, "Did I really force sex on you?"

"Maybe force is a strong word, but you did suggest it. You don't remember do you?" I whispered back. He shook his head no and sighed.

"I know that sorry doesn't even come close to what I am feeling. I never meant to disrespect you like that. I won't ever again, my love." God why did he have to be so damn good with his words? He melts me.

"Like I said, you know what will happen. Let it go," I whispered.

"Yeah what are you guys whispering about over there?" Rose questioned. "We will have none of that."

"We have a game after school. Are you girls coming?" Edward asked, "we can get pizza afterwards."

"I have to work, but I can meet up with you after for pizza," I let them know. I hated that I was going to miss his game. It was one of the few that I had not been too. I loved watching Edward play.

Edward dropped me off at home so I could pick up my car to go to the library. I told him I would see him later.

The three hours I spent at the library was hell. First I got there and stepped in a puddle. My shoes were soaking wet all the way through to my socks. One of the other girls called in sick and the main computer was printing wrong return dates.

I called Esme but she was in Seattle looking at a house. She tried to tell me how to fix it over the phone but I couldn't do it. We had to close that station and only use the one in the children's section.

When did I become head librarian? I think it was when I started dating her son. Everyone turned to me for answers. I had to show an old man where our microfiche were located. I knew it was on the second floor but no idea where. Then someone wanted a rare book, I didn't even know we had. I had to call Esme again to see if it was okay for him to check it out of the library. She asked me who it was and I told her some guy named Aro. She said it was fine, but only for him. He kind of gave me the creeps but Esme seem to know who he was.

By the time it was for me to get off work -an hour late- I was exhausted. I almost called Edward to tell him I couldn't join them.

I walked into the pizzeria dragging my feet. I hoped I didn't look as bad as I felt.

"Good God, Bella, you look like hell," Alice quipped.

"Well, thanks for that insightful bit of information," I quipped back.

"Baby, you look tired, what happened?" Edward asked, concerned and kissed me on the lips.

"Everything went wrong tonight; the gods were out to get me for sure." I dismissed it with a wave of my hand and grabbed a slice of pizza. I was starving.

"So how was the game?" Three heavy groans came out from the guys.

"We lost," Edward said.

"See, Bella? You, my sis, are the lucky charm." Em patted me on the back which caused me to choke because I was eating.

Rose slapped Emmett's arm and Edward smacked him in the head.

"What?" he yelled.

"Walk with me?" Edward asked when I was done eating. We walked around the pizzeria holding hands, with my shoes squeaking.

"Bella?" Edward chuckled, "why are your shoes making noise?"

"Oh, I stepped in a puddle when I got to work. I've been wearing wet socks and shoes for about five hours now," I told him.

"Hey, Edward sorry about the loss," some guy said when we walked by.

"Oh hey, Bella," he smiled at me.

"You know him?" I asked Edward.

"He goes to our school. I don't remember his name though," Edward stated.

"How does he know me?" I wondered.

"Bella everyone knows you, haven't you noticed. Don't worry, you'll get used to being popular," he said.

Ugh! When did I become popular? I spent so much time in the Edward and Bella bubble that I had no clue that everyone knew who I was and who I was dating. It did not go unnoticed when the captain of the baseball team starts dating someone - even if that someone was me.

"Bella, are you listening to me, baby?" Edward brought me out of my daydream.

"I'm sorry, I guess I am just tired, say do you mind if I go home?" I asked.

"Not at all, I was just about to tell you that you should get home, you look so tired." He lifted his hand and brushed his thumb across my cheek.

Edward walked me to my car and made me promise to text him when I got home. He cared for me so much.

I got home and took a shower, got into my pajamas and crawled into bed. I remembered that Edward asked for me to text him when I got home but I left my phone charging downstairs. I promised myself I would go get it in a few minutes.

I must have dozed off because the next thing I knew someone was nudging my foot to wake me up. God, was it morning already? Why can't my Mom leave me alone? I set my alarm for crying out loud!

"Jeez, Bella, I have been worried sick about you - you didn't text me," said the sweet voice with concern.

"Edward? How did you get in here?" I was still half asleep.

"I found your key under the eave; I let myself in the front door. You said your parents sleep like the dead," he chuckled.

I pulled the covers down for him to get in bed with me. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my head.

I turned over to face him, kissing his lips. They were always so soft. I turned my head to the side and opened my mouth for him; his tongue slipped in and met mine. He tasted so good - I moaned a little.

"God, Bella, I want you so bad," Edward whispered.

"Me too…but I…." I trailed off.

I started to kiss him down his neck. He wrapped his arms around me, moving his hands down my back. Pushing up my shirt, he paused at the hem of my panties.

I moved my hands down his chest, searching for the hem of his shirt, finding it, I pulled it up. He lifted his arms for me to take it off and I discarded it on the floor.

Edward's hands were still hovering around the hem of my panties. I think he was trying to decide on what he should do next, so I helped him out. I reached behind me, pushing his hands down on my ass, before continuing to kiss him. He moaned and squeezed my ass, moving his hands around the curves. God it felt so good.

Edward's hands moved to my shirt and lifted it up over my head. I suddenly felt too exposed. I was wearing nothing underneath.

"Bella, you are so beautiful," he whispered, as he stared at me. He started kissing my neck, working his way down.

Kiss…"That feels good."

Kiss…"Edward."

I couldn't think, all I thought was that I wanted him, all of him. I was in love with him. I needed him.

The last kiss he flicked my nipple with his tongue and took me in his mouth. I moaned, closed my eyes, enjoying him touching me, caressing me, but something quickly changed.

Although it felt wonderful and I trusted him, I needed him to stop. It was too much. I felt panic build up and I was on the verge of an attack. I needed to keep calm; I didn't want Edward to worry. I got my breathing under control before I spoke.

"Ummm… My parents are in the next room," I whispered, standing up, fumbling for my shirt and putting it back on. I handed Edward his.

"Bella I'm…" he started but I cut him off.

"Don't say you're sorry," I told him, "just lay with me for a few minutes?"

I got back in the bed, pulling the covers over the both of us. Edward spooned me; wrapping his arms around me and kissing the back of my head. I fell right back to sleep in the arms of the boy I loved.

"Mom, leave me alone, I don't want to wake up," I cried. Wait. Was Edward still in my room, or was I dreaming?

"Isabella Maria Swan," the voice called out to me.

My eyes flew open and I saw that my alarm clock was reading 7:30 am. I didn't hear it go off and now my Mom was standing in my room, tapping her foot on the floor, motioning with her head towards the sleeping Cupcake next to me. Boy, was I in trouble.

"Edward, you need to wake up," I elbowed him in the gut. He just grumbled and rolled over.

"I'll be outside to give you a few minutes and then I want to see you both downstairs." My Mom turned and walked out, keeping the door wide open.

"Edward, get up!" I kicked the bed.

"Damn, Bella, why did you do that?" Edward still had no idea my Mom had been in my room.

"Edward, my Mom was in here. How did we over-sleep? Get your ass out of my bed; we are in so much trouble."

I scrambled to get dressed and we made our way downstairs. I heard the end of a conversation my Mom was having on the phone.

"Yes, they were sleeping. I just thought you should know. I'm going to have a talk with them and find out. I will send him home."

"Mrs. Swan, I know what it looked like but I swear it was innocent, I came to see if Bella got home safe. She was supposed to text me when she got in but I didn't hear from her so I came over," Edward rambled; he was nervous and cute.

"And how did you get in here?" my Mom asked.

"I know you keep a key under the eave - I used it." He was no longer looking at my Mom - he had his head down looking at the ground.

"Relationships need to be built upon trust; when you break that trust, freedom changes, especially when it concerns my 17 year old daughter. Bella, do you need to go on the pill? I'm too young to be a grandmother!" my Mom asked. Seriously?

"Mom!" I yelled. I must have been the color of a tomato. "That is not necessary, we were only sleeping. I know what it looked like but it was nothing more than sharing a bed…sleeping," I told her.

"We will have no more of that. The key will be gone now, thank you, Edward. Bella is to be home by 10 every night and I think you need to hang out more at home than be out. Bella, you are grounded for a week. Edward, you are welcome to come over during that time as Bella is not allowed to go out, except to work, is that clear?"

God, my Mom is stern when she wants to be and who knew she was smart?

"On top of that, you cannot use your cell phone after 10 p.m. until your punishment is lifted. Now Edward, I called your Mom and she is expecting you. Hurry along now for your punishment," Renee stated.

Renee was being so unfair.

Edward walked out the door, kissing me on the cheek good-bye. Renee raised an eyebrow at him; maybe we should have shook hands or something.

I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I missed school, but I didn't care. My Mom was being so unreasonable. I didn't even want to think what was going to happen to me when Charlie found out.

I went down later in the day to start dinner. I didn't hear from Edward and I wondered if he had gone to school. My Mom helped me in silence. I didn't acknowledge her but she continued to work with me. I heard the front door open and my heart rate went up - my Dad was home.

He walked in, kissed my Mom and walked over to me.

"Feeling better, honey?" he asked, kissing me on the forehead.

"I told your Dad that you stayed home from school because you were not feeling well," my Mom added, covering for me.

"Is it your throat?" my Dad asked.

"No just cramps," I smiled at him. His eyes bugged as he shook his head, leaving the kitchen, which was the end of that conversation. My Mom just laughed at me.

"You sure know how to get rid of your Dad," she giggled again.

After dinner I went upstairs so I could call Edward.

"Hey, Baby," he said when he answered the phone.

"Are you in a lot of trouble?" I asked.

"Well I won't be coming over to see you this week," he informed me.

"That sucks," was all I could say.

"I know, but what did you expect? I should have gone home instead of falling asleep in your bed," he added.

"I wonder why I didn't even hear the alarm. That never happens. I was sleeping too well in your arms," I sighed, thinking back at the memory.

"I know, baby, so was I," he sighed before he said he had to go - his Mom was calling for him. I told him I would see him at school the next day and hung up. It was going to be a long week.

A/N: Thanks to Lady Tazz and crazierthanu for their continued support. This story would still be sitting on my laptop if it was not for the two of you. All my readers that have taken the time to read and review thank you, it means so much to me.


	14. Chapter 14 Purgatory

Disclaimer: In no way, shape, or form does Twilight belong to me. I just love playing with the characters.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading. I would never fire you silly!To crazierthanu you are a great beta and I would be lost without you. Thank you for being a great friend.

**Chapter 14 BPOV**

**Purgatory **

The week without Edward was hell. Sure I saw him during the day at school in Biology and lunch. It wasn't enough. I came to realize that I counted on him and depended on him too much. I didn't see him after school and by the time I got home, cooked dinner and finished homework, it was too late for me to talk to him.

My Mom came in my room each night at ten and took my phone and laptop. That was after she found out we were instant messaging. No contact after ten meant…no contact. Life was unfair.

I had a hard time sleeping. Mainly because I often wondered what Edward was doing and if he missed me as much as I missed him. This couldn't be healthy.

We had already made plans to spend the two weeks before Edward left to California together as much as possible. He was going to hang out with me while I worked at the library; we had a date on Saturday; and the last day of school we all were going to a bonfire at La Push that the Juniors and Seniors were having.

Our make-out session had come to a halt. Thinking back to the last night in my room, I felt the blush creep over my face. Thank God my Mom had not caught us then. I would never have been allowed to see Edward if that had happened.

Who could make out at school? We never had any alone time; lunch was spent with our friends. Edward and I were both irritated with the situation and I am sure our friends wished we would have just stayed away. A bitchy Bella and a moody Edward did not make good company.

"You two are pathetic." Emmett pointed at me and Edward.

"So you can't spend every waking moment together. If I spent every waking moment with Rose I just might kill her," Emmett chuckled.

"I heard that! Screw you!" Rose came in and sat down.

"You know it is true baby." He patted her on the head.

"Yeah, except when he wants something from me." Rose winked. "Then I am the love of his life and he can't get enough of me," she said, looking at me and Edward.

I sighed, "I think I am going to go for a walk."

"I'll go with you." Edward got up.

"Yeah go make out or something and come back in a better mood, Eddie, we have a game tonight!" Emmett called after us.

Edward turned around and flipped him off.

"Only a few more days, baby, I'm counting down the hours." Edward grabbed my hand.

So much for the walk; the bell rang and our time was over. He kissed my forehead and walked off to class.

Life truly sucked.

When I didn't have to work, I got home, made dinner and went to bed. I found it easier to sleep right after dinner than in the middle of the night.

My Mom called down for me. I rolled over and got out of bed to see what she wanted. When I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw Rose and Alice standing there with their sleeping and overnight bags.

"What's going on?" I asked, yawning.

Seeing how down I had been, Alice asked my Mom if her and Rose could come over for a sleepover on Friday and she agreed. Yeah it would have been nice if they had told me.

"God, Bella you look like hell!" Alice gasped.

I tried to straighten out my hair and clothes but I guess it didn't work.

"That is why we are here Alice," Rose added. "Surprise!" she screamed.

Now I think my mom was more excited than me. She was jumping up and down giggling like she was a school girl.

"We are here for a girl's night in. No boys and I don't even want any of us to mention them." Alice giggled.

We walked back into my room and they put their things away. Alice had the most bags and I wondered if she was actually planning on moving in.

"What is all this, Ali?" I asked.

"Just some make-up if we want to do makeovers - that kind of stuff. Or we can dress up like hookers to see what we would look like." She shrugged. I busted up laughing.

"I can't believe my Mom allowed this. It must be for good behavior," I marveled.

"No, Alice can be very persuasive when she wants to be," Rose deduced.

"I saw Vicky at the last competition," Rose whispered, "she was harassing her squad; I can't believe they allow that."

"The school is more concerned with keeping their number one spot than the best interest of the students," I told her.

"I know I am not supposed to mention this, but I am curious, Bella. You said you and Edward were just sleeping - is that the truth? You guys never…" Alice trailed off.

"No Alice, we haven't and yes, we were just sleeping. It was a simple mistake; I just wish my Mom didn't catch us. But thank God it was my Mom and not my Dad!" I was sad again. Why did she have to mention Edward?

"I'm not like that you know. I don't just sleep with the first guy I date, even if I am in love with Edward. Not that we have not done… things," I said as I blushed. "I want to wait until I feel ready," I added.

"Have you girls?" I asked. I am pretty sure Em and Rose had just by the way they touched each other in public, but I was not sure about Alice. Her and Jasper had been together as long as Edward and I.

"Do you even need to ask?" Rose commented.

"Jasper and I haven't yet, but we are working our way there." Alice looked embarrassed all of a sudden. The tension was thick in the room and I thought a subject change was in order.

"We should dance!" I told them turning up the radio. I started dancing then they laughed at me.

"I never said I was the best dancer, just that we should do it!" I admitted as I danced around my room.

"For someone who can cheer, you definitely cannot dance," Rose said.

I turned down the music when I was out of breath from dancing.

"Let's play Truth or Dare!" Alice exclaimed.

I groaned. I hated that game and it got me into more trouble than it was worth.

"Oh come on, B, don't be a party pooper, it will be fun," Alice whined.

"But you all already know everything about me," I declared.

"Yeah but we don't know what kind of dares you'll take," Alice joked.

"As long as they are not going to get me in trouble, Alice." I pointed my finger at her.

"Well since this is your party Bella, you get to go first. Truth or dare?" Alice asked me.

"Truth," I answered.

"Tell me something about Edward I don't know," Alice said.

"Let's see, Edward has a birthmark on his ass." I blushed. Damn, it just slipped out.

"How do you know that? 'Miss I-haven't-done-anything?'" Alice mocked me.

"Nope, only one question, Mary Alice," I teased.

"My turn. Rose, truth or dare?" I asked.

"I'm going with dare," she said.

"I dare you to send a seductive photo to Em saying wish he were here," I Teased.

"Pfftt, like I haven't done that before." She did it and two second later Em was asking where she was. We all laughed and she replied to him with a, "wouldn't you like to know?"

He wouldn't stop texting her so she had to tell him we were at my house playing Truth or Dare.

"Ok, Alice. Truth or dare?" Rose asked.

"Dare!" Alice giggled.

"I dare you to call Edward and let him know you know he has a birthmark on his ass!" Rose busted up laughing.

"No, no, no, you can't. He will know I told you… please, Alice? Rose, challenge her to something else," I begged. "I will tell you how I know it is there, I promise, just don't call him."

"Fine. Alice, call Jasper and tell him one thing you know that he doesn't," Rose corrected.

Alice called Jasper and he picked up on the first ring. "Hey Jazz, it's Alice. I wanted to let you know that Edward has a birthmark on his ass." Alice hung up the phone.

Rose and her were rolling on the floor laughing their asses off. I, on the other hand, was humiliated.

"Alice, why? I asked you not to do that. I'm going to die for this you know," I moaned.

Great. Edward was going to be so upset with me. It was one of the nights we were making out instead of studying.

"_Tell me something about you that no one knows!" I challenged Edward. We were laying on my floor in my room trying to catch our breath after kissing._

"_I have a birthmark on my butt," he confessed, turning red. _

"_Really, like where - can I see it?" I asked. _

_He pulled his pants a little low and I saw it. It was more on his lower hip than his butt. I giggled. I reached down and ran my hand over it._

"_Now your turn," Edward said kissing me on the neck."Hmmm, you taste so good baby."_

"_You're my first real boyfriend," I said._

"_I know that already, something else," he whined. _

"_I have a birthmark some…place on my body," I said shyly._

"_Where?" he asked._

"_Wouldn't you like to know?" I giggled. He started tickling me. _

"_Tell me, Bella, or I won't stop tickling you!" he teased. I was squirming all over the floor, laughing. _

"_Ok, ok, I give!" I told him out of breath, "it is on my inner thigh." _

"_Will you show me?" he asked._

_I unbuttoned my pants, pulled them down - the entire time not taking my eyes off of him. I was feeling embarrassed. My underwear was plain white and I was glad I was not wearing any of the sexy ones I recently bought while I was out with Alice. _

_I showed him and quickly pulled up my pants. My face was a burning red; I couldn't believe I had just done that. _

"_You're beautiful, Bella." Edward pulled me down to the floor and started kissing me again._

"Bella, are you listening? Edward is on the phone." Rose handed me the phone, they were still on the floor laughing.

"Hello?" I said timidly.

"Bella, you want to tell me why Jasper called wanting to know HOW Alice knew I had a birthmark on my ass?" He was angry with me.

"Cupcake, don't be upset. My friends are idiots. We are playing Truth or Dare and it got out of hand. I'm sorry," I said with an apologetic voice.

"The girls are there?" he asked, sounding less mad.

"Yeah they came over to keep me company," I informed him.

"Are you having fun?"

"I was until they embarrassed me," I said, turning red again. Good thing he couldn't see me through the phone.

"I bet you're as red as a tomato!" he chuckled. Maybe he can see me through the phone.

"Go have fun, see you tomorrow, you silly girl!" He chuckled again and hung up.

Needless to say things quieted down after that and we all got into our respective sleeping areas. Them on the floor and me in my bed. I had fun, considering; I was glad they came over. The next day I would be a free woman again.

We all got up early and went to breakfast; the guys were meeting us at IHOP to celebrate Edward and my freedom.

I saw the silver Volvo when I pulled up. I hopped out of the car and ran over to Edward who was standing outside leaning on his car. I flew into his arms, wrapped my legs around him; he caught me and he held me tight. It was like we hadn't seen each other in years. I kissed him eagerly and quite sloppily but I didn't care.

"I love you," I said, looking into his beautiful green eyes.

"Not as much as I love you!" he said.

"You're not mad at me?" I questioned.

"Never!" he told me, bringing my face back towards his to kiss me again.

"Okay, you two, break it up. I'm starving." Emmett walked over to us.

Edward put me down and we walked into the restaurant.

I always felt amazed when I saw all of us together. Yes, we were friends, but I had come to think of these people as my family. There was nothing I wouldn't do for them, especially Edward.

"What are you thinking about, pretty girl?" Edward asked passing me the syrup.

"You," I confessed; it was the truth. Edward was in the forefront of all my thoughts. I was changed. After this week of not being with him as much as I would have liked, I knew I could never go back to being just friends. If he were to leave me or break up with me, it would destroy me and shatter my heart into a million pieces.

We all decided to go miniature golfing since we never got the chance to go last time. I was horrible - I think it took me like 6 tries to just get the stupid golf ball into the hole. It was so humiliating. Edward laughed at me and tried to help, but to no avail.

We all headed back home after. I was the biggest loser. Oh well, what can I say? I can't be good at everything like Edward was.

Edward went back to his house to get cleaned up and I went to mine. I had a hot date with the gorgeous baseball captain hottie. Edward came by later to pick me up.

Oh hey, Edward… Bella… Edward is here!" my Dad called out. "Haven't seen you around, thought Bella broke up with you!" he snickered.

"Dad leave him alone!" I hollered down the stairs, "I'll be down in a minute."

Edward and my Dad sat awkwardly in the living room together. It was quite comical. Edward sat on the recliner staring at the TV and my Dad kept shifting his eyes between the TV and Edward.

I walked down the stairs and into the room. I wore a black skirt and a blue v-neck sweater. I curled the ends of my hair, put on some light make-up and a headband; I was ready to go. I got to the bottom of the stairs and smiled at Edward, who stood up.

"You look beautiful," he stated, reaching for my hand. My Dad cleared his throat and smiled at me.

"Be back later, Dad," I told him. "Tell Mom I put the towels in the dryer."

My Mom was at her pottery class.

Edward and I decided to stay local and went to eat at the diner. When we pulled up I noticed some of the cars from the kids that attended our school.

More importantly - Jessica Stanley's car. I despised her with all that I had. She was more than rude to me whenever we had to interact. I had something she wanted - Edward - even though he never gave her the time of day.

We went and grabbed a table. Cora came up to us and took our order. She was so nice and always gave my parents and I free dessert when we came in.

"Oh hey, Bella, who's your friend?" she asked and I blushed.

"Cora, Edward - Edward, Cora." I motioned between the two. Edward flashed her his killer smile and she rolled her eyes at him. God I loved her. She got us our drinks and out of the side of my eye I saw Jessica staring at us.

"I think we have an audience," I observed pretending to look at a menu.

"Just ignore her, Baby," Edward said, reaching out for my hand.

"Hey Edward, great game yesterday!" Jessica's nasally voice echoed through the diner.

"Thanks, Jessica."

"What are your plans for the summer?" she asked. Really, am I sitting here too or have I just disappeared?

"Same as usual; I'll be in California," he answered.

"Sounds like fun," she continued, "I'll be stuck here in this dreary town."

"Jessica, I am kind of on a date with Bella - do you mind?"

I almost spit my drink all over. I never thought he would actually say anything so rude, although she was being rude by interrupting us.

"Oh, hey, Bella." Like she didn't know I was sitting there.

"See you later, Cullen," she called back, looking over her shoulder.

Cora brought us our food and we started eating.

"That's why I love going out to PA for dinner, people around here are so nosy!" I wrinkled my nose.

"Let it go, Bella. Please let us just have a nice night out; it's been so long." Edward rubbed my hand then pulled it up to his lips to kiss it.

After dinner we went back to my house. We still had an hour until he had to go home.

Friday came before I knew it. School was finally out for the summer and for me it was bittersweet. On one hand, I was glad that school was over and another year was done. On the other hand, I was going to miss Edward. He was leaving the next morning for California and I was staying behind working at the library 5 days a week to cover for Esme while she was gone.

The gang was heading down to La Push for the annual Junior/Senior bonfire. I begged my parents to allow me to stay out until midnight. I promised no drinking was going to happen and reminded them that this was the last time I was going to see Edward until the end of July when I went with Alice to visit him.

Thank God for Esme - she actually convinced my parents to let me go to California with Alice. She assured them that we would be under constant parental supervision and that Alice and I would be sharing a room.

So my parents said 'yes', not only to the midnight thing but were allowing me to go to California as well.

This was the first party I had been to since Phoenix.

Edward came and picked me up with Alice and Jasper. Everyone was at the beach when we arrived. They had the bonfire going and Tyler was playing DJ, along with Eric. Some people were dancing and others were playing volleyball.

Emmett wanted to start a game of football when we got there, so all the guys went with him, leaving us girls to talk.

After a while they all came and sat with us around the fire. Edward pulled me into his lap; Alice and Jasper were already making out.

Later, Edward grabbed a couple of hot dogs for us and a few drinks - sodas, of course.

I pulled out my camera and started taking pictures of all of us. I had Angela take a group picture as well. I asked Alice to take a few of just Edward and I.

I was going to miss him so much. Edward assured me that we would talk every day and text as much as possible. He didn't want to go as much as I didn't want him to go.

"The time is going to go by fast love, don't worry." How did he know that was what I was thinking about?

"I know," I whispered. "I'm just going to miss you like crazy." I confessed.

"Come here." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me on the lips. The world disappeared; it was just him and I. Emmett had to bring me back though.

"Get a room!" he shouted.

"Em, how come Alice and Jasper can play tonsil hockey and no one says anything, but Edward and I kiss and we have to get a room?" I questioned.

"Because you and Edward are so intense and I see you as my little sister." He shrugged.

"Really, you see me like your sister?" I asked. I always wanted a big brother.

"Yes and if you ever need someone to kick his ass, I'm at your service," he chuckled.

Edward and I took a walk along the water, staying far enough away so we didn't get wet. The party was dying down and many people had already headed home.

Em and Rose left going back to Rose's house; her parents weren't home. They were going to spend some alone time together.

Alice and Jasper came up to us and asked if we were ready to leave. I wasn't ready but it was time.

We dropped off Alice and Jasper at his house; he was going to give her a ride home so we could have a few more minutes alone.

"I really don't know how I am going to get through this Edward." The tears started rolling down my face.

"I know… please, Bella, don't cry, I can't stand to see you upset," he begged.

He drove up to my house and we sat in the car for awhile. I had ten minutes left and I was going to spend every second I could with the boy I loved. We didn't talk. We just held hands. There were no words that needed to be said; we knew what we were feeling.

Before I knew it I had to go inside. It didn't help that my Dad looked out the window every minute. With a heavy sigh I opened my door and stepped out into the cold. Edward came around and walked me to my door.

He kissed me and I kissed him back, showing him everything I was feeling as the tears continued to fall. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and I didn't even care that my dad was looking out the window. Edward broke the kiss, knowing I didn't think I ever would. He kissed me on my head and whispered he loved me. He walked back to his car and drove away.

I didn't know how long I stayed there staring at the empty street. My Mom opened the door and asked if I was coming inside. I turned and walked in with tears falling down my cheeks and went to my room, ignoring my Mom and Dad.

I just needed to be alone.

A/N: One of the best things about reviews is the insightful information I receive from all of you. You ask questions that I had not even thought about and made me wonder about as well. Keep them coming I love to hear what you think.


	15. Chapter 15 Empty Summer

Disclaimer: In no way, shape or form does Twilight belong to me.

Hard to believe we are at the half-way mark for this story. Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for her magic.

**Chapter 15 **

**Empty Summer**

"Edward!" I sat up looking around, my hair was knotted and some was stuck to my face from sweat. My breathing was labored and my heart was pounding.

Another damn nightmare.

It had been 5 days since Edward left; 5 days since I held him in my arms, touched his face, kissed his lips; and it had also been 5 days since the nightmares started up again.

I needed a drink of water. I stepped down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Bella?" my Mom called out.

"Yeah, Mom," I whispered back.

"Are you alright?" she asked. She had been worried about me.

"Fine Mom, just need a drink of water…I had a bad dream. It's nothing, go back to sleep," I told her. I heard her door shut, I was glad she didn't question me further.

The dreams were pretty much the same, just like when were in Phoenix. They started off with me at school and flashes of me, naked, showing up on the monitors that were in the classrooms. I'd try and go and turn them off but people would stop me.

Lately it had been Edward who stops me and looks at me, questioning; when I try to explain, he walks off into the woods. I follow him but he is too fast and I lose track of him. I stumble and fall, but I don't get up. I just call out to Edward - that would be when I wake up.

I made my way back upstairs and got back into bed. I still had four hours before I needed to get up to go to work. I knew sleep would not find me, though.

I powered up my computer, maybe Edward had e-mailed me. We talked or texted daily and we also had been e-mailing about other things we had been doing when texting was not enough. I hadn't told him about the nightmares but he knew I had not been sleeping very well.

He could tell by my short answers, constant yawning, and my bad mood. I told him it was because I had been working more or that I was bored because he was not here, but I was not sure if he bought it.

He had Alice looking after me. He hadn't told me in so many words and she hadn't even mentioned his name, but she called every day. On one Saturday she is insisted we go shopping for summer clothes, because our California trip would arrive before we knew it and new clothes were essential.

No new e-mail came from Edward, damn it. Maybe I should have sent him one telling him I couldn't sleep. No, he would just worry about me. I was sure he was having fun, more than me. He was going to San Diego with some friends; that was probably why he hadn't sent an e-mail. This thinking wasn't helping.

I didn't know what time it was when I fell back to sleep but the alarm woke me up to get ready for work. I did the usual, took a shower and made some breakfast. My phone beeped, notifying me of a missed call. Damn, it was probably Edward. Sure enough I missed his call. I dialed my voicemail to check the message.

"Hey Baby, how are you? Where are you? Anyway I just wanted to call and see what you are up to. Miss you, Love. I am heading over to La Jolla to go inner-tubing with Kate and Paul. I won't have my phone with me until tomorrow. I love you, and I'm counting down the days until I see you. I'll give you a call when I get home tomorrow." He hung up.

I tried to call him back, hoping to get him before he left but it went straight to voicemail.

"Cupcake, I'm bummed that I missed your call. I really wanted to talk to you too. I was in the shower, just my luck, right? I'm getting ready to go to work. I know you probably won't get this until tomorrow, but I miss you and love you so, so much Edward." My voice cracked and I knew I was on the verge of crying so I quickly said 'bye' and hung up.

The time at the library was my savior. It was mostly quiet, so I had time to read some of my favorites. I even had the chance to organize Esme's office a bit. Over the next several weeks I was going to dust, file and clean every area of the library.

After work, I made a grocery list and went to the store. I was still looking for distractions. Maybe Alice could come over for dinner. I texted her and she replied with a 'YES' and a happy face. She was going to meet me at my house at 5 p.m..

I got home, put the groceries away and started making dinner. Chicken Alfredo was on the menu for tonight along with a salad and garlic toast. Once Alice arrived she helped me with the cooking. She said she was not one to cook but if I told her what to do, she would help. It was a lot more than what my own mother could do.

Once the food was ready, my parents grabbed their food and went to eat in the living room; Alice and I ate in the kitchen.

"Bella, you look like hell, what is going on?" Alice questioned.

"Well, thanks Alice for your kind words," I joked.

"Bella, what is it? You miss Edward?" she asked, kind of sad. I wondered if she missed him too.

"Yeah and it is just not that, I haven't slept well either," I informed her. I didn't want to tell her it was because of the nightmares.

"I know what you mean. Jasper got a summer job and I haven't seen him all week. We are going out tomorrow. Hey, do you want to join us?" she asked.

"And be the third wheel? Never! At least you still get to see him, I don't get to see Edward," I sulked. I invited her over to make me feel better not worse.

"You will not be the third wheel - don't think like that. Em and Rose are coming too," she added.

"So I won't be the third wheel, I'll be the…what...fifth wheel? Thanks, Alice - but I swear I am fine, I'll be fine." I lied to her.

She helped me with the dishes and said she had to get home.

"I have to help my Dad with something," she added.

"Oh, with your Mom?" As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it.

"Edward told you?" She stepped back wide-eyed, ready to bolt.

"Alice, please, he didn't mean to, it just came out and please don't feel ashamed or anything. I've told you my darkest secret and you're still my friend. Please don't feel like you have to hide anything from me," I pleaded with her. I didn't want her to feel like she had to lie or be embarrassed.

"Things are getting worse. I'm not sure how much more my Dad can take, Bella. I try to help as much as possible. He asked me to look online with him once he gets home for rehab facilities. He wants to put her in a hospital to get help." She was starting to get tears in her eyes. "I have to go." She grabbed her things and headed for the door.

"Ali?" She turned around to face me. "I love you like a sister, if you need anything, you ask me ok?" She nodded and left.

My phone woke me up the next morning at 7 a.m.. Who in the hell calls at 7 a.m.? I looked at the caller ID and didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I asked groggily.

"Bella, how are you sweetie?" the sweet voice asked on the other end.

"Esme? I'm fine, are you calling to check on the library?" Why else would she be calling me?

A small chuckle came out over the phone. "No, it's Edward, he had sort of an accident," she said hesitantly.

"What? How?" I asked, panicked.

"Nothing to worry about, sweetie - you know boys. He was inner-tubing with his friends; the water was kind of rough and he hit his head on a rock. He has a nasty cut on his forehead. He was a little dizzy and had a headache. He's at home now, but insisted that I call you to say he was sorry and will call you back tomorrow. He didn't want you to worry… oh, and that he loves you," she giggled. Good thing I was talking to her over the phone so she could not see that my entire body was crimson.

"Thank you, Esme, for the call, I appreciate it. Tell him to rest for me and…and that I love him too." God, that was so embarrassing.

"Will do honey, have a good day," she agreed, before hanging up.

I didn't have to work so my Mom invited me to yoga with her again. Maybe it would do good to get some exercise in.

After yoga we went to a craft store. My Mom wanted me to start a scrapbook for my senior year. After, we went and had lunch. It was nice to be spending some time with my Mom.

"Your Dad and I decided to go to Florida, the week you are in California," she told me.

"Really? Why?" I questioned, as we had never been there.

"We are thinking of moving once you graduate and go off to college," she shrugged, like it was no big deal.

"But what if I go to WU, you will be on the other side of the country," I whined.

"And you can come visit, no big deal, Bella. This is the time your Dad and I get to start living our lives together." She smiled at me. It wasn't fair, they already lived their lives. What was she talking about? I did everything for them.

"But you already do, look around Mom. It is not like YOU are the one taking care of ME," I exclaimed, stressing the 'you' and 'me'.

"What do you mean, Bella, we take care of you?" she asked confused.

"To a point - you provide food, clothing, and shelter for me," I admitted, shaking my head. Why was this hurting me so much? "But I cook, I clean, I remind you when appointments are; I drive you around. God this is so frustrating. I should be wondering when I am going to be able to start living my life?" I was on a rant now.

"You're just so, ditzy, Mom. One project after another and you never finish them. You drag me to half of them and as soon as I get into them, then you decide you don't want to do it anymore; you're done. Then Dad… how much time has he spent with me? He would rather be fishing and eating dinner in the living room than have a conversation with me," I huffed.

"Bella, where is all this coming from? You know how your father is. He is a man of few words. Just to get him to talk to me, I have to pull teeth, and you know how much I love to talk!" Renee being Renee, totally over-looked all the things I said about her like it was nothing.

"Now, what has you so frustrated - is it Edward? I know you are miserable now that he is gone. Maybe you shouldn't rely on him so much, sweetie. You need to learn to be independent," she added.

"Now who's calling the kettle black?" I mumbled.

"What's that, sweetie?" she questioned.

"Nothing, Mom - are you ready to go home now?" I needed to call Edward; I hoped he would answer the phone.

I went to my room and dialed his number. _Please pick up, please pick up._

"Hello?" Damn, it was Esme.

"Esme, it's Bella. Can I talk to Edward please?" I begged.

"He is sleeping right now," she whispered.

"Mom who is it?" I heard Edward ask in the background.

She covered the phone so I couldn't hear.

"Let me talk to her." I heard some rustling in the back ground.

"Here he is Bella." Thank God, I thought.

"Hey, pretty girl." He sounded sleepy and hoarse.

"Hey, handsome boy," I returned.

"My mom is being over-protective, sorry." He yawned. I felt bad because he was asleep and I had woken him up.

"Maybe I should let you go… you're tired," I sighed.

"Baby, something is wrong - what is it?" he asked, concerned.

"I was having a nice lunch with my Mom and she mentioned wanting to move to Florida… I kind of blew up at her. I said some pretty mean things and you know what? It didn't even register with her, so that made me even more frustrated and well, I just had a long frustrating day. I miss you. I miss talking to you and seeing you. I miss holding you and…I am just so frustrated!" I threw my hand up in the air. Then he laughed at me.

"Bella… you..." he chuckled, "you're being a drama queen right now."

"What? I called you so you could make me feel better. Just forget it." I hung up.

He called back three times before I answered the phone.

"Don't be mad. It was cute and I'm sorry. I need to hear your voice, Baby, please?" he begged.

"Maybe I was being a drama queen. Sorry I hung up on you." I sounded like a child getting a scolding from her parent.

"So how have the last two days been, besides the talk with your mom?" he asked. I told him how Alice came over for dinner and that we were going to go shopping over the weekend for clothes for our trip to California.

"Will you be buying a bathing suit?" he asked.

"Probably, since I don't own one," I said.

"Are you buying a bikini?" he questioned.

"Ummm, I haven't thought about it, why?" I asked, and continued," oh Cupcake, how is your head, what happened?"

"Just horsing around... Kate pushed me off the inner-tube and I hit my head. Good thing her and Paul were close by. I would hate to think what would have happened if they didn't notice," he told me.

"Kate?" I didn't hear anything after he mentioned her name. Did he tell me one of his friends was a girl? I was suddenly jealous.

"Um yeah, she has been coming out here for about the same amount of time we have, I guess. She lives in Alaska and spends the summers next door to us. She and Paul are about the only two friends I have out here," he added.

"Is Paul like, her brother… or boyfriend?" Please say boyfriend.

"Nope, he lives on the other side of me. He actually lives here, in California. You'll like them, B. They are good friends; we hang out all the time. I've already told them all about you," he continued, when I didn't start talking, "Baby, are you still there?".

"Oh yeah, just thinking. What does Kate look like?" God why was I being so jealous?

"Are you jealous, baby? There is no need to be," he chuckled.

"Can you NOT laugh at me?" I was annoyed.

"Bella, Okay, she is about 5 foot 6 inches, she has blonde hair and blue eyes. I don't know what else you want me to say, really," he hesitated.

"Is she pretty?" I whispered.

"I guess, in her own way. I only have eyes for one girl though and she is being quite silly. Besides I kind of like brunettes," he added.

"Bella, Love, I have to go. My MOTHER is hovering and wants me to go lie down. I will call tomorrow," he added in a whisper, probably for his Mom would not hear,"….and try to text you later."

"Ok, I love you, Cupcake, talk to you tomorrow," I said hanging up.

I slept better that night. But the nightmares were still happening, the same one I had that night. Edward still left me in the woods, but he left with a tall blonde now.

Saturday, after work, I picked up Alice and we went to Port Angeles. My Dad actually gave me $100, on top of the $100 of my own money, to spend. I was so excited. I was going to buy a few pairs of shorts, tank tops and a new bathing suit.

Alice was kind of quiet when I first picked her up. She was not acting like her usual self and I wondered if it has something to do with her Mom.

"Everything okay, Alice?" I asked. Her eyebrows pulled together and she shook her head. Not saying 'no', but trying to keep calm.

"My Dad took my Mom to _**The River Source -**_ it is a 12 step program for alcoholics in Seattle," she admitted sadly, "she didn't want to go, but he said it was that or a divorce and he would take me with him. I know he was only threatening her, but it hurt so much Bella." She shook her head.

"We can't see her for the first week. After that, we start individual counseling for 6 weeks and then we start family counseling after that. I just don't know if I am ready, you know. How can I talk to strangers about this when I can't even talk to my friends?" she wondered, wiping her cheek.

"Maybe it will be easier to talk to someone that is not connected to you. You don't have to be embarrassed at all." I tried to comfort her.

We didn't talk about it again. She said she needed to just shop and look forward to going to California. I knew what she meant; I couldn't wait either.

"Bella, you are going to love their house, it is so beautiful. The sun shines all the time and you can actually go to the beach when it is warm," she said cheerfully.

"Oh, I forgot Rose said she was going to meet us here at the mall. Emmett invited her to go with his parents on a Mexican cruise, can you believe it?" Alice laughed.

Rose texted Alice that she was at the mall and we met her at Old Navy.

"I have to buy two bikinis. I told Em I would get one for the boat and another for the sand," Rose declared.

"I have to buy just one…a blue one," I told her.

"Are you getting a bikini?" Rose asked.

"I don't know, Edward wants me to, but I have never worn one… I would feel so exposed," I admitted.

"Oh Bella, you will look beautiful. You have a beautiful body, I would definitely get a bikini." Rose nodded and winked at me.

I grabbed a few bikinis that I liked. I still was unsure if I was going to get one or not. I went into the dressing room and tried on the first - it was a plain blue bikini. I felt like I was naked. I came out to model for Rose and Alice. Neither liked that one. I came out with a blue polka-dot bikini. I thought it was okay. It covered a lot more than the other one, but I still didn't feel comfortable. Rose liked it; she asked to take a picture of me.

The final one was a tankini. It was baby blue with ruffle around the bottom. It looked the best so I agreed to buy it.

"Rose, what are you doing?" I asked when I saw that she was giggling while texting on her phone.

"I'm just giving Edward a preview of what to expect." She confessed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, even though I knew what she meant. She had sent him pictures of me in the bikinis.

"What did you write?" I asked.

So she showed me:

**How would you like to see Bella like this?**

**Or maybe like this?**

Edward replied:

**Is Bella walking around the mall like that?**

Now he was mad.

Rose replied:

**She's asking guys what they think.**

My phone rang.

"Bella?" he asked and I giggled. He was so over-protective.

"You really think I would do that Edward?" I asked.

"I guess not, which one are you getting?" he asked.

"I wanted to surprise you, but ROSE ruined it," I told him.

"It's okay, whatever you want Baby. You look beautiful in either of them. I gotta go… love you." He always had to go. Why did he never have time to talk to me?

"Okay, Cupcake, love you too. See you soon." I hung up and scowled at Rose.

"What?" she said, just like Emmett.

"I just wanted to show him what he is missing and remind him who is going to visit him soon." She defended herself.

"I trust him Rose. I know he loves me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me," I said with conviction.

After 5 hours of shopping with the two shopaholics, I was beat. I had everything I needed to make the trip to California.

A/N: Next chapter Bella and Alice will join Edward in California. It's a big one and one many of you are waiting for. That is all I am going to say. Please continue to review, I love hearing from you.


	16. Chapter 16 California Girls

Disclaimer: Twilight…not mine

So here you all go - Bella's trip to California. Wow, I didn't realize the response I was going to get regarding the mention of Kate and California. So I will just let you read…A/N at the end.

**Chapter 16 BPOV**

**California Girls**

Alice and I were leaving for California in the morning. All my things were packed and Alice spent the night. My parents were taking us both to the airport.

"Now Bella," my Dad started (it was going to be a long night), "I raised you to show respect not only for yourself but to others. I trust you that you are going to be on your best behavior. I spoke to the Cullens and they assured me that you and Alice will be sharing a room. Now, no funny business. Do you hear me young lady?" He stood pointing at me.

"God, Dad. Yes, I will be on my best behavior and I will not go into Edward's room…much…" I laughed at him," I'm kidding. Jeez, Dad, lighten up." I thought he was going to have an aneurysm.

My Mom's advice? "Have fun and don't get into too much trouble". I didn't know how those two were still married.

I sent one text before I turned off my phone after boarding the plane.

**See you in a few hours Cupcake ~B**

I was going to be in the arms of the boy I loved in about three hours. I missed him so much. I couldn't control myself. I was excited.

"Bella, if you do not stop bouncing in your seat I am going to tie you down." Alice put her hand on my leg to keep it from bouncing.

"I can't help it, Alice. I miss him so much and these few weeks have been hell for me… you know that," I told her.

We touched down at 5:47 p.m..

**EPOV**

I was waiting with my Mom and Dad in the luggage area. I kept my eye on the arrival times for flights coming in from Seattle - my girl's flight, to be exact. Oh and my best friend's.

I saw on the arrival/departures schedule that the plane had landed at gate 7. I was waiting at the baggage claim area right in front of the escalator.

I saw them before they saw me and I walked forward. I opened my arms and my girl jumped into them. I caught her and wrapped my arms around her, taking in her delicious scent. I had missed her and loved her so much.

"I love and missed you, too," she said, giggling. I didn't know I had said that out loud. I pushed her back a bit to see her face; she was smiling at me.

She looked beautiful but tired. I put my lips to her and kissed her passionately. I swiped my tongue along her bottom lip and she granted me access into her mouth - she tasted so good. We were lost in the kiss, so I didn't even know how long we had been kissing until my Dad cleared his throat and I remembered I was with my parents. I kissed her once more and put her down.

"Hi," she told me.

"Right back at you, beautiful," I returned with a wink.

"Hey Ali, I missed you too. Come here," I told her, pulling her into my arms and hugging her.

"Shall we get the show on the road?" my Dad asked.

I grabbed Bella's bag and my Dad helped Alice with her's…all three of them.

I held Bella's hand the entire way out of the airport and into the car. I didn't want to let her go. Being away from her made me realize that there would never be anyone else for me. Bella was it.

The first few weeks here I didn't want to do anything. I pretty much moped around the house. Kate and Paul were the ones that finally got me out to have fun. I told them all about Bella and they were dying to meet her.

When I got injured inner-tubing all I could only think about was how it was going to affect Bella. I didn't want her to worry about me, especially after Alice told me that Bella was a mess. I had my Mom call her to tell her and when she called me back that night I knew something was wrong.

My Mom was being over-protective and didn't want to wake me up but I insisted on it. I had to talk to my girl if she needed me.

Bella was being bitchy and whiny on the phone, which was not like her and I made her mad. I was glad she was here with me now.

"What are you thinking about, Cupcake?" she asked, bringing me out of my reverie.

"You, Baby," I admitted, kissing her hand.

We were going out to dinner. We arrived at the restaurant and took our seats. We talked about what was going on over the summer and our plans for the next week.

"I've only been to Disneyland once when I was six years old. My parents surprised me for my birthday and we drove out to California," Bella said. We were going there on Wednesday.

We got back to the house around 10 p.m.. The girls settled into their room and my parents went to bed, leaving us to do as we pleased. Alice told me that Jasper went to go visit his aunt in Texas, so she was glad it was at the same time she was visiting me.

We watched a movie. Alice was on the recliner; Bella and I snuggled up on the sofa. Alice was the first one to fall asleep and was snoring loudly. Bella and I just laughed at her.

Bella turned around to face me and wrapped her arms around me.

"I missed you so much. Did I already tell you that?" she asked, kissing me.

"Yes, but I like to hear it all the same," I told her, kissing her back.

Bella was the next to fall asleep - must have been the jetlag. I finished watching the movie by myself while holding Bella close to me.

"Don't leave Edward," Bella whispered and at first I thought she was awake, but she must have been sleeping. I rubbed her arm and patted her back, kissing her forehead. She mumbled again and snuggled closer to me.

I must have fallen asleep as well, because when I woke up we were all still in the living room. I nudged Bella to wake up and told her to go to bed, then I got up to tell Alice as well. Once the girls were in bed, I walked to my room and closed the door.

A few hours later I heard Bella crying from my room. I walked over and knocked on the door. Alice answered.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"She was having a nightmare and woke up crying, but I got her back to sleep. She's okay, go back to bed," Alice said, yawning. She told me that when Bella stayed the night with her before, she had had a nightmare that night too.

I went back to bed. Why was Bella having nightmares? What were they about? I should ask her about them. This disturbed me and it took some time to fall back to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later to the smell of bacon and pancakes. I padded down the hall to find Bella and my Mom cooking. Bella was making blueberry pancakes; my Mom was making bacon, eggs and hash browns.

"Hey, sleepy head," Bella called to me.

"Hey, beautiful," I returned.

"Edward, I am wearing pajamas, my hair is like a hay-stack pulled in a ponytail and I don't even have any make up on. How can you say I am beautiful," she argued.

"Because you are, silly girl," I told her; she rolled her eyes at me.

"Anyway, Esme, I cleaned your office and filed away some paperwork. I hope you don't mind. I was bored and tried to keep busy."

Bella must have been talking about the library.

"Oh sweetie, thank you. You really didn't have to do that," my Mom told her.

"I know, but I wanted to," Bella shrugged.

"Well, if it isn't the other sleepyhead," my Mom said, pouring my Dad a cup of coffee. We were just waiting on Alice to wake up. A few minutes later she came out yawning; walked over to the coffee, and poured herself some. I thought she only had one eye open.

"Tired?" I asked.

"Bella, you kept me up all night. I hope you don't talk in your sleep every night." Alice yawned again.

"I was talking in my sleep?" Bella asked. "What did I say?"

"I don't even know. 'Edward' 'don't go,' 'I love you,'" Alice quoted her.

"Okay, enough Alice., God, I'm embarrassed!" Bella hid her face in her hands.

"Then the crying and thrashing in your sleep, Bella. Seriously?" Alice stated.

Bella got a sad look on her face but continued to cook the pancakes.

After breakfast we all got ready to meet Paul and Kate at the beach, which I was kind of nervous about. Bella seemed so jealous when I mentioned Kate. Kate had always been a good friend and she was glad to hear that I had a girlfriend like Bella that made me happy. I hoped Bella would be just as accepting.

Bella came out with a blue and white summer dress and had on her bathing suit underneath.

Kate and Paul were waiting for us down by the water, with their surf boards.

"Kate, Paul!" I yelled. They turned around and came walking towards us.

"You remember Alice, right?" I asked, "this is my Bella. Bella, these are my friends Kate and Paul," I introduced them.

"Hi Bella, we heard so much about you. Edward couldn't stop talking about you," Kate told her. It was the truth.

"Edward didn't do you justice; you are more beautiful than he described," Bella told her.

I thought, 'Here we go.' I rolled my eyes.

"I could say the same about you!" Paul smiled at Bella, who blushed. Now who was feeling jealous?

Paul and Kate were trying to convince Bella to try surfing but she was afraid. Alice went in with Kate and she began teaching her. Paul was still trying to convince Bella, almost to the point of begging. I was getting a bit upset.

"She said she doesn't want to Paul, give it a rest," I told him. We were just lying out on the sand.

"Baby, you should put on more sunscreen. I don't want you to get burned," I told Bella. He skin was so fair, an hour out in the sun, and she could burn.

"I'll help you," Paul offered. What the hell?

"I don't think so?" I told him. Bella just looked between us. She handed me the lotion to help her.

"Jealousy doesn't look good on you, Edward." Bella giggled as I was applying the sun screen.

"Yeah? Well, he is being a little too friendly with you," I told her.

"Lighten up Edward, he is your friend," she said, turning around to face me and kissing me on the lips.

"I think I am ready for that surfing lesson," Bella told Paul. What the hell?

They went off into the water, leaving me sitting alone. I was pissed - Bella did it on purpose to make me upset.

I watched them as they paddled out. Bella was in front of the board, with Paul behind her. When they got far enough out, Paul put his arms around her waist trying to get her to stand up. She wobbled a couple of times and he held her close, making me see red.

They practiced over and over again; every time Bella fell into the water. I wanted to rush out to her to make sure she was alright. Each time she came up laughing.

"Edward did you see me? I did it! I did it!" Bella exclaimed, jumping into my lap, getting me all wet.

"I saw, baby. I'm proud of you," I told her hanging onto her hips.

Alice and Kate came in from the water too. We were all hungry so we decided to go and grab a hamburger to eat at one of the restaurants by the pier.

"You guys should come with us to Disneyland on Wednesday," Bella suggested. I was glad she had warmed up to Kate.

"I can't go, unfortunately," Paul informed us.

"I can… I would love to, if it's alright with everyone else," Kate asked, looking at Alice and me.

"Fine with me, I won't have to go on the rides by myself," Alice added.

We all walked around the pier for awhile taking in the sights.

"How's the head, Edward?" Kate asked.

"Good…now," I said reaching up where the light scar was on my forehead.

"I am so glad you are alright. I'm sorry about it, really, I am. I wouldn't have asked to share the inner-tube with you if I knew the water was so rough," Kate said.

"Ummm, it is fine Kate, just drop it," I told her. I had not told Bella that Kate was sharing it with me.

"You were with him? He said it was a good thing you noticed him go under," Bella questioned.

"I was sitting on his lap, we both went under but he hit the rock and passed out. I helped him and Paul came to help too." I winced when she said this.

"Someone is going to be in the dog house," Alice whispered. Paul laughed and Kate was speechless; Bella got up and excused herself to go to the restroom.

"Maybe we should go," I suggested. "I'll meet you all back at my place?" I suggested. They all nodded 'yes' and I went after Bella.

I found her standing at the end of the pier. I walked up behind her, put my arms around her, and she sighed.

"I am not jealous, Edward. I like Kate, she is a good person. You lied to me," she stated, not turning around.

"I'm sorry, love. I just didn't want you to think the wrong thing," I told her.

"So what am I supposed to think now?" she asked.

"That your boyfriend is an idiot and should have been honest. It was innocent after all," I told her, kissing her hair.

"Let's go back to the house," Bella suggested.

"I'm sorry, Baby, I love you," I told her.

"I know." She turned around and started walking back towards the house.

"That lap is mine and if you ever let another girl sit on it…Jealous Bella will show up and you won't like her very much," Bella spat. I froze mid-step and she stopped to look back towards me, I just nodded.

When we got back to the house, Alice, Kate and Paul were playing volleyball in the sand.

My Dad let me drive his car to Disneyland. I think he didn't want to get up early to drop us all off and go back late to pick us back up. Kate joined us – she and Alice sat in the back - Bella rode shotgun.

Disneyland was not as busy as I thought it might have been, since it was midsummer. Alice wanted to go on Space Mountain, Bella wanted to go on The Matterhorn and Kate wanted to go on Pirates of the Caribbean.

I just wanted to go on anything I could make out with Bella on.

We stayed to watch the fireworks. Bella was complaining because she got sunburned and was in some pain. After the fireworks we decided we had had enough and left for home.

I woke up the girls when we got back to the house; they had all fallen asleep in the car. I walked Kate home and came back to say good night to Alice and Bella but they were already sleeping. I kissed Bella on the cheek and went to bed.

Things took a turn for the worse the following night. We decided to stay home the day after Disneyland to recuperate. We just watched some movies and enjoyed the time at the house. Bella said she wasn't feeling good because of her burn and she had a headache.

We all went to bed early to get some rest.

The following day my Mom and Dad took all of us to Sea World. We had to get up early to make the three hour drive to San Diego. We were renting a hotel to stay for the night.

I woke up at 3 a.m. to a blood-curling scream coming from Bella and Alice's room. At first I was not sure what was going on. I knocked on the door but it was locked. I could hear Alice telling Bella to calm down, but Bella was screaming and crying still.

I found the skeleton key that opened all the doors and went in. The sight broke my heart. Bella was curled up on the bed rocking back and forth, crying. Alice was trying to calm her down, looking afraid, pleading for my help.

"I don't know what's wrong, Edward," she said, fighting back tears.

"Bella, Baby, what is wrong? I'm here." I grabbed her from Alice's arms and pulled her to me.

I started rocking her back and forth, she continued to sob. My parents came down the hall and asked what was wrong. I told them I was not sure. Alice said Bella was having a nightmare then just started to freak out.

"Can everyone please leave us alone?" I asked.

"Let me see her Edward," my Dad asked.

"No, can you just let me calm her down first. Please, just leave and shut the door," I pleaded with him.

"Baby, I'm here, I'm here," Everyone left. "Shhh… Bella, please calm down. No one is going to get you. I'm here, Baby, please tell me what is wrong," I pleaded with her.

Her crying slowed down to just whimpers. She stopped shaking but she still was not talking to me. She just held onto me with her arms around my neck.

"I didn't know if I was raped. I don't remember. Why did they do that to me?" she mumbled. I had no idea what she was talking about.

Maybe she thought her dream was real.

"It was just a dream, Baby, no one is hurting you." I begged her to look at me.

"No Edward, you don't know. I haven't told you and when I do you're not going to want me," she cried.

God - was she raped at her old school? Is that why she moved? I started to panic.

"Bella, Baby… please, love, you are scaring me. Please tell me what happened to you," I begged, kissing her hair. I needed to know. I need to be able to help her.

She laid in my arms and told me the entire story. I was in tears by the end and I hated what they did to her. They hurt her so bad, when she was a good girl. I wanted to go and kill this Victoria and those two guys that posed with her naked, drugged body.

"My Mom took me to the hospital when I couldn't remember if I was raped or not. They took pictures of me and did a rape kit exam, which was embarrassing and uncomfortable. I'm still a virgin," she said, looking up at me. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying.

"There was no report filed since they didn't even find a scratch on me. The worst part is the nightmares. Sometimes I can't tell what really happened as a memory or what I am making up in my head. How many people were in the room looking at my naked body without me knowing? They posed my body in various poses. I might have not been raped, but I was violated, Edward. Trusting people has been hard - even trusting you." She sobbed and continued, "I was afraid to tell you. I thought that maybe you wouldn't believe me and you would think that I was a whore and you wouldn't want anything to do with me. Everyone else knows. I told them. Rose was the first, then Emmett, after that I told Alice. They all tried to get me to tell you but I was afraid," she added.

It upset me - how could she tell everyone but not me? Why did she not trust me enough to tell me? One side of me wanted to be mad at her for not telling me and the other side wanted to wrap her in my arms and never let her go.

My poor baby girl - the love of my life, the axis that moves my world - has gone through so much. She was afraid to tell me because of how I might have reacted. I pulled her into my arms and held onto her. I had to push my angry aside and just be there for her.

"I love you, Bella. Nothing is ever going to change that," I told her. "Bella, have you gone to counseling to help you deal with this?" I added.

"No, my parents' solution was to run," she said quietly. "I don't know what sparked the nightmares again. I guess it was the fact that I had not told you. You were in the dreams and you always left me." She hid her face in my neck.

"I'm not going anywhere, Baby," I told her.

"Stay with me until I fall asleep?" she asked.

"Okay, scoot over," I told her. I laid down with her on her bed until she fell asleep. When I heard her soft snoring I scooted off the bed and opened the door to the room.

I saw the light on in the living room. I went to see who was awake. My Mom, Dad and Alice were sitting in there waiting for me.

"She's sleeping now," I told everyone.

"She told you?" Alice wondered.

"Yes." I nodded and sighed.

My parents wanted to know what was going on so I told them. I hoped Bella wouldn't mind. They were concerned for her. My Dad suggested when she got back to Forks, that she should see a doctor that he'd recommend. I told him that I would talk to her to see what she said.

"The poor, sweet girl," my Mom said, shaking her head.

"Mom, can you just not mention anything? I am not sure if she would want you to know," I pleaded with her. She agreed not to tell her anything.

We all stayed up in the living area talking.

"You all knew, Alice, and no one told me." I was frustrated.

"Bella asked us not to and said that she would tell you. I didn't think it would take her so long though," Alice added.

"She was afraid, Edward. Don't blame her, it won't help," my Dad butted in.

I turned when I heard walking from the hallway.

"Edward?" I heard Bella call out to me.

"Love, you are supposed to be sleeping," I told her.

She had been crying again.

"Can you sleep with me?" she asked.

I looked to my Dad and Mom for approval. My Mom nodded her head and I told Alice she could sleep in my room.

"Edward, keep the door open though," my Dad added. Did they really think we were going to try something after everything she told me?

I went back upstairs with Bella and got into bed with her. She fell right back to sleep. I, on the other hand, could not. The more I thought about it, the madder I got. This was a huge deal and she hadn't told me. Why couldn't she trust me enough to tell me? Everyone else knew but me and she didn't have the confidence in me to tell me. This was all frustrating. I laid there for hours until I finally was able to fall asleep.

We postponed the trip to San Diego until the following day. None of us got much sleep the night before. Bella felt terrible about it and guilty for ruining everyone's vacation.

"You didn't ruin anything, Baby," I told her.

The next few days went by fast. Everyone was quiet for the most part. I really didn't know what to say to Bella about the situation and I was afraid at some point I would blow up at her about it - that was something I didn't want to happen.

The last night of the girls being in California arrived. I was going to miss my girl. She was going back home for a week and then off to Phoenix to visit Jake.

I was worried. I didn't want to let her go, especially now that I knew there were people there that had tried to hurt her.

What if they found out she was there and they tried to hurt her again? What if she had another breakdown and I was not there for her to lean on?

"I just don't think it is a good idea if you go, that is all I am saying," I told her while she was packing to go home. "What if you run into them?"

"Edward, I will be with Jake and we really are not planning on doing much. Even though it is a big city there is not too much to do there. Please don't worry, Cupcake, I'll be fine." She touched my face and I closed my eyes. She knew how to calm me down all the time.

"Well, what if you have a nightmare and I am not there for you," I asked.

"Edward, do you hear yourself? Even if I did, you would be here and I would be in Forks. I'll call you if I have one and you can talk to me until I fall back to sleep." She patted my arms. I guess my fight was lost; there was nothing else I could do.

That night we didn't sleep. Bella and I stayed up and talked all night - okay not all talk, we made out too. I wasn't going to see her for another couple of weeks; I had to get my fill.

We talked about colleges and where we had applied or wanted to apply. Both of us were interested in Washington State and Northwestern Universities.

We went out on the beach and watched the sunrise. With Bella in my arms, we wrapped a blanket around us and just laid there. It was so nice and I didn't want to let her go.

"Did you two sleep?" Alice asked walking out on the patio.

"No, we are just enjoying our final time together," I told her.

"Moody Edward and Bitchy Bella will be back," Alice giggled.

"Alice!" both of us yelled. But I guessed she was right.

The ride to the airport was solemn. I held Bella's hand and she stared out of the window. Once in a while she would wipe at her cheek, crying.

At the airport, we checked them in and waited by the security gate. When it was time for them to go through, it was a tearful good bye. Bella jumped into my arms, very much like she did when she got here. I held her and rubbed her back. She wept and kissed my neck and eyes saving my mouth for last.

"I love you, Cupcake," she cried, pulling my mouth to hers.

"I love you, Baby," I told her, kissing her lips.

"It's time to go, Bella," Alice whispered. I set her down and kissed her forehead.

"Take care of my girl for me, Alice," I told her, giving her a hug.

"You got it!" Alice said hugging me back.

They walked through the gate and Bella waved 'bye' to me. It was going to be a long three weeks. I couldn't wait until we were both back in Forks and in each other's arms.

A/N: See that was not too bad. Kate turned out to be nice. I would never allow someone to come between them. Bella finally told Edward. I know you were all worried about his reaction.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for everything…you know why.


	17. Chapter 17 Returning To My Sunshine

Disclaimer:

Twilight is not mine. I think everyone knows that by now. I will be waiting at the end with an A/N and a box of tissues.

**Chapter 17 BPOV**

**Returning to my Sunshine**

I pulled the window shade down on the plane and sat back in my seat, tears still streaming down my face. Alice wrapped her arm around me and rested her head on mine.

"When I moved in next door to Edward, I went to his house and introduced myself. I was hoping they had a daughter but I found out that they only had Edward. He said he couldn't be friends with a girl." She giggled.

Alice continued to pat my back as I cried. "I cried and told him I was a good person and that we would be best friends if he gave me a chance. He told me that he hated to see girls cry and handed me a lollipop."

Where was she going with this story?

"We have been friends ever since. He was always protective of me and always took care of me; he is like my big brother. When he first saw you I knew he liked you. I have never seen him like that before Bella. Sometimes people make mistakes and misunderstandings happen. Just remember that Edward loves you with all his heart," she said.

"I love him, Alice, more than I can even tell you. I have never felt like this before." I cried onto her shoulder.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remembered was Alice waking me up telling me we were landing. We got off the plane and met my parents. My Mom came and almost tackled me, making me stumble back and almost fall down.

"Mom, I have not been gone that long," I spoke, hugging her.

"Missed my little girl. Did you girls have fun? How is Edward doing?" she asked.

I told her everyone was good and that we had a lot of fun. I also told her that I had missed home but that I couldn't wait to go to Phoenix to see Jake.

I then texted Edward that I had made it home safe and sound; that I missed him terribly; and couldn't wait until we were in the same state again.

He didn't reply.

I fell back into my old routine. I worked all week at the library. I had trouble sleeping. I cooked dinner for my parents. I washed all my clothes and packed for Phoenix.

It had been a few days since I had heard from Edward and I was kind of worried; it was not like him.

The night before I left for Phoenix I decided to give him a call. By then it had been a week since I had heard from him.

"You've reached Edward's cell, you know what to do." It beeped.

"Hey, Cupcake, I just called because I wanted to hear your voice and I haven't heard from you all week, call me," was the message I left.

The next morning I woke up to at 7 a.m. to my phone ringing. I missed the first call, but it rang again. I walked over to my night stand and saw it was Edward's number.

"Hey, Cupcake, where have you been?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Baby. I just haven't been near my phone. I went with Paul and Kate to a party the other night and we are spending a lot of time at the beach. I left my phone at home - I didn't want it to get wet," he informed me.

"You couldn't call at night?" I asked, a little annoyed that he was acting like it was no big deal.

"Baby, I've been out. Did you need something?" he asked.

"Yeah, well… maybe just to hear your voice but you're obviously too busy to return any calls," I said sarcastically.

"Bella, Baby, don't be like that. Let's not fight. Are you getting ready to go to Phoenix?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah, look, I might be TOO busy to talk to you while I'm there. I have to go, Edward," I told him. Two can play that game.

"Bella," I hung up the phone. He was so frustrating sometimes.

My parents loaded my things into the car and we made our way to the airport.

I got to Phoenix and was met by Jake and his Dad Billy and a girl I did not know.

"Bells!" Jake called to me, running towards me. I met him half-way and wrapped my arms around him.

"I've missed you," I told him. He said he missed me too. Billy and the girl came up behind us.

"Oh Bella, this is Leah, Leah Bella," Jake said, introducing us. She was beautiful and I was so happy that Jake had found someone. He deserved to be happy and I saw that she forgave him for his trip to Forks.

"How is Edward?" Jake asked.

I frowned.

"He is good. He has been in California for the summer. I just got back home over a week ago from visiting," I informed him.

"I can tell… nice tan." Jake winked at me.

We grabbed my luggage and made our way to the car. Jake was driving; wow, how things had changed.

The city looked the same. I guess I hadn't been gone that long. We went to one of my favorite restaurants for dinner. It was already late when we got there but it was still busy, not like in Forks.

Once we got back to his house he left me to unpack while he took Leah home. She was such a quiet girl. She didn't say much, but I caught her staring at me.

I must have fallen asleep because when I awoke it was morning and the sun was peeking through the shades. I forgot what it was like to wake up to the sun. It was already hot outside and it was only 9 a.m..

I looked at my phone and I still had no calls or texts from Edward. I sighed, got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. Billy was sitting at the table and Jake was eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," he said between bites.

"Hey, sorry I fell asleep last night," I said shyly.

"No worries, so what would you like to do today?" Jake asked.

We decided that we would hang around the house that day and go out to the arcade the next. We used to hang out there a lot and if we got bored with that there were bowling lanes next door.

Leah came over and we hung out with Jake in his garage. He was rebuilding an old motorcycle. We had the music blaring and ordered pizza. Leah and I were sitting around talking about school and boyfriends.

Leah told me how Jake and she got together. Jake had originally asked her cousin Emily out but Emily was already seeing some guy named Sam. Emily suggested that Jake ask Leah and then they could double-date.

I tried to remember if I knew Sam or Emily but the names didn't ring a bell. I supposed they wouldn't since I didn't pay too much attention to people outside my own circle, with the exception of Jake. Jake and Leah hit it off right away and he asked her to be his girlfriend soon after.

"I was so jealous when he said he was going to see an old friend in Washington," she giggled.

"I know he said you told him you wouldn't wait around," I giggled.

"Yeah, well I was just hurt, but he called me then came and saw me when he got back. When he flashed his smile at me, I couldn't resist," Leah blushed.

"I know how that is. I feel the same about my boyfriend," I told her.

"Is he okay with you being here with Jake?" she asked.

"I guess. I mean he is in California after all. He knows Jake is a good friend of mine. Nothing romantic at all, he's… Jake," I said wrinkling my nose.

"Well thanks, Bells, same to you," he smirked.

"Oh, you know what I mean." I hugged him.

After Leah left Jake and I laid in the living room watching TV for the night.

"So I know something is wrong Bells, spill it," he coaxed as he nudged me. How did he know me so well?

"It's just Edward… I called him and we kind of got in an argument and me being stubborn… I haven't talked to him and he hasn't called me and I feel bad," I sighed.

"It must be hard that you have spent most of the summer apart, huh?"

"Jake, you have no idea. He has friends in California that he has been spending a lot of time with and I guess I am just jealous," I told him truthfully.

"Maybe you should just call him," Jake suggested, rolling his eyes.

"I think if he doesn't call me by the time I go home, I will," I agreed.

Maybe he needed time to cool down too.

The next day I made breakfast for Billy and Jake. I invited Leah to come over for breakfast too. I missed cooking, so it gave me some relief and kept me busy.

After breakfast we went shopping because, let's face it, the mall in Phoenix is a hell of a lot better than the mall in PA. They already had winter clothes out so I bought a few sweaters. I found a scarf and hat that Alice would love and also some gloves and a vest for Edward. I found a pair of grey shorts and a white tank on sale, so I purchased those for me to wear in the evening.

Later that day we grabbed a bite to eat at a hamburger place and went to the arcade. I was kind of worried about who we might run into.

Around 8 p.m. the place started getting crowded and Jake wanted to go bowling, so we walked across the lot to the bowling alley.

I was winning at bowling, of course. I swear it was all the skee ball practice and Jake was not far behind me.

Then I heard some laughter coming from behind me. I could tell that laugh anywhere - Jake stood up to hide me but I pulled him back.

"It's okay," I told him.

I couldn't think I could come here and hang out without running into someone I knew. I turned around and came face to face with Victoria.

"Well, look here, James. Seems like the whore came back," Victoria snarled.

"I thought I would never see your face around here again."

I looked at the guy, James, and had a flashback.

_Get her clothes off James and put her in the bed…everything naked, make it look real…get in there with her...take off your shirt. Felix is coming up too, the little whore is getting what she deserves. Felix, stop touching her…you're only here to pretend...now get in on the other side. James, kiss her._

I remembered that James was there and Felix. I knew it was Felix. He was touching me. Where did he touch me? Was everyone watching me at the party?

I needed to get out of there. I ran out, leaving everyone standing there. I ran into the restroom and hid in one of the stalls. I was crying, shaking and I couldn't breathe. I fell on my knees over the toilet and emptied my stomach.

I needed Edward. Why was he not returning my calls? I got my phone out and dropped it. I couldn't see behind all the tears falling from my eyes.

"Edward! Edward!" I chanted, rocking back and forth.

I remembered someone coming in and helping me up. They picked me up and carried me out of the bathroom stall. I could faintly hear Jacobs's voice telling people to move out of the way. They put me in the car and drove home.

"Edward, I need Edward," I chanted again. Someone was in the back seat with me, holding onto me. I was sweaty and crying and my hair was stuck to my face.

"I can't… I can't breathe," I cried. My lungs were closing and I was finding it hard to breathe.

"We are almost home, Bells - just hold on a while longer. I will call Edward for you," someone told me, but it was fuzzy. I couldn't make out voices.

Someone helped me into the room and laid me down in the bed. I cried some more as the realization sunk in. Felix had touched me - over my breasts, in places I don't remember - while I was unconscious. This made me cry harder and the breathing got worse.

"Edward will leave me, he won't want me," I cried. I was not even making any sense to myself.

"Hello, Edward, it's Jake," Jake whispered.

"No, she is not okay. We ran into Victoria…yeah, here she is." Jake handed the phone to me. My hands were shaking.

I didn't know how long I was on the phone, minutes, or hours. I said nothing, it was Edward that spoke. He asked me questions I couldn't answer; he told me he loved me and wished he was there to hold me.

He cried with me, comforted me, and apologized - for what? I had no idea and I said nothing in return. My breathing finally started to return to normal and I stopped crying. I started hiccupping, so Jake brought me some water.

"Baby, are you still there?" Edward asked.

"Yes," was the first word I said to him. I heard him sigh in relief.

"This is killing me, Bella. You shouldn't have gone," he said in frustration.

"I'm fine Edward. I'm tired, I need to sleep but I don't want to get off the phone with you," I admitted to him, needing him so much. I hated that I was weak and relied on him to comfort me.

"I'll stay on the phone with you until you fall asleep, okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," was all I said. I vaguely remembered Jacob coming in my room and pulling the phone from my ear.

"She's sleeping now," he whispered, "yeah, I'll tell her. Thanks, man."

I woke up the next morning tired, with swollen eyes, stuffy nose and all the things that are associated with crying your eyes out.

I wasn't going to let that bitch ruin my fun though. I came to hang out with Jake and that is what I intended on doing. I wasn't going to hide.

I took a shower, then went to the living room where I heard Jake talking to his Dad. I told Jake I wanted to go out. We didn't need to hide in the house.

"Fine, but call Edward first. I told him I would have you call him when you woke up and now that it is…noon, I'm sure he is worried," Jake insisted.

Noon? Wow. What time did I fall asleep?

I dialed Edward and he picked up on the first ring.

"Hello?" his beautiful voice answered.

"Hey, Cupcake," I replied. Jake looked over to me and smirked. I threw a pillow at him. I decided to go outside so I could have some privacy.

"I'm sorry about last night," I started, but he interrupted me.

"Nothing to apologize for, Love," he cooed. "You have no idea how close I was to jumping on a plane to come get you, Baby."

We talked for awhile and I told him everything that happened that night. He told me again he wished he had been there for me. Although I also wished that, I'm glad he wasn't. It was bad enough he had to hear me freak out over the phone. I hated to think about what I had actually looked like.

I got off the phone and went back inside. Jake and I decide that we were going to go to the amusement park for the day. Leah couldn't go because she had to help her mom with some chores.

I had fun and when we got home Jake and I were both exhausted. We fell asleep together on the couch.

The night before I left home, Billy threw a party. A lot of people from his tribe came and told stories about their legends. Billy bar-be-cued and it was a lot of fun.

Jake drove me to the airport the next morning and it was a tearful goodbye. I was leaving my friend again and it would be several months until we would see each other again. We were looking at Christmas in Forks.

I got on the plane and pulled the shade down like I had done so many times before, but this time I had no one here with me to comfort me. I cried to myself and tried to read my book.

A few more weeks until Edward returned home.

The library was closed for the next two weeks. They were working on renovations.

I got off the plane and I didn't see my parents. They had probably forgotten I was coming home that day. I grabbed my phone from my bag and turned it back on so I could make the call to my Mom to find out where the hell she was.

"Need a lift?" a velvety voice called out from behind me.

I turned around and Edward was standing there, right in front of me with his sexy lop-sided smile.

"Edward? What? You're here!" I screamed.

"I couldn't stand to be away from you any longer," he cooed, pulling me into his arms.

"Your parents…?" I asked.

"Still in California, my Mom talked to Alice's Dad and he said I can stay with them for the next two weeks," he informed me.

I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him.

"Come on, let's get our luggage and go home," he told me.

His car was in the long term parking structure. We grabbed the luggage, put everything in the car and drove home.

He dropped me off and said he would see me the next day.

"Don't pout Bella; I'm sure your parents miss you. I'll come over tomorrow." He put his hands to my face and kissed me softly.

"Is that a promise, Mr. Cullen?" I asked, teasing him.

Of course, Ms. Swan," he teased back.

"Bella, is that you?" my Mom screamed, running to the car. Jeez, I hadn't been gone that long.

"Hi, Mrs. Swan," Edward yelled, waving from the car. I grabbed the bags from the trunk and kissed Edward good-bye.

My Mom grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug. My Dad came out, grabbed the bags and hugged me as well. Edward drove off but I didn't even realize it.

My Mom actually cooked an edible dinner. She said she was taking a cooking class. I wanted to see how long that would last.

It was good to be home.

N/A: Tissue anyone? Bella's breakdown was the hardest thing to write, so exhausting. But I think the hardest part was seeing how helpless everyone else around her felt, including Cupcake.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for always being there when I need her. Love ya both.


	18. Chapter 18: Senior Year

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine no matter how much I wish it was.

Everyone was surprised Edward showed up at the end and everyone wanted to know why he avoided Bella's calls. Hope this gives some answers but most guessed right. A/N at the end.

**Chapter 18 BPOV**

**Senior Year**

The following weeks flew by. The library was closed so I didn't have to work and Edward was back in Forks staying at Alice's. We spent every waking moment together.

I was also preparing to start school again. Edward and I did some school shopping. With Jasper still at his aunt's house, Alice didn't leave our side. I loved her but I really didn't always want to make out with Edward while Alice was hanging around.

"We should go back to my house after we're done shopping Edward," I told him. We were going to grab some lunch before heading back home.

"Ok, Baby, whatever you want." He kissed my hand.

My parents were not home when we got there. My Mom was at one of her classes and my Dad was at work.

We went to my room and I put my things away. I was exhausted, and could have used a nap; that was what shopping did to me.

Edward was already laying down on my bed. I had to scoot over so I could lay down with him. I wrapped my arm around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

Edward kissed my head and wrapped his arms around me.

"Are you still having nightmares, Bella?" Edward asked.

"Huh? I… not since we got back home." I squeezed him, holding him closer to me.

"Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me about what happened to you?" Edward whispered.

I closed my eyes; I thought we were over all of this.

"I do trust you, Edward, with everything. I guess I was just afraid of your reaction," I admitted as I sat up to look at him. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"Bella, we never even talked about it. I'm kind of pissed and I thought I would be able to just let it go, but I can't. It really hurt that you did not have enough faith in me to tell me, but you could tell all our friends," he huffed and sat up in the bed pushing me away from him.

"You're mad at me?" I questioned. This just made me angry. After everything, he was going to be mad at me because I didn't tell him?

"Maybe you should just leave Edward." I got up off the bed and went to the door, to open it.

"Bella, don't do this. Don't push me away. You don't have to run. We are only talking. We need to talk about it." He grabbed me and pulled me into his arms. "Just talk to me, Bella. I was so upset and I don't want to be mad at you. I avoided talking to you after you left because I didn't want to be mad at you. I know it is not your fault."

"That is why you avoided me when I left?" I didn't want to cry. I pushed back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

"I felt guilty after I got the call from Jake. You needed me and I wasn't there for you, that's when I convinced my parents into letting me come home." He was still holding me to him.

"Edward, I don't want to fight about this and I don't want you mad at me. I promise I will never keep anything from you again." I wrapped my arms around him. He lifted my head up to look at him.

"That's all I'm asking for." He kissed me softly.

We decided to go downstairs to have a snack. I was no longer tired and I think we needed to do something else. The air between us was still thick with tension.

Edward and I had two classes together - English and Cooking. Edward didn't really want to take Cooking but when we were filling out the paperwork there was no other electives that I was interested in. So I pouted and batted my eyelashes at him to do cooking with me. Maybe I made out with him a bit as well.

I was taking my second year of Spanish; Edward had already finished and was able to leave an hour earlier. Lucky him.

Edward continued as the captain of the baseball team and Rose was the captain of the cheer team. We had our usual table at lunch time. Everyone was happy, even me – even with being popular.

Edward and I had English before lunch. We walked to the cafeteria to eat. We were making plans for the weekend. The guys had a game, but we all wanted to go out after.

"I think we should go see a movie," Alice suggested.

"We always do that," Rose whined.

"Miniature Golf?" Em suggested.

"NO!" I screamed. "Remember my disaster last time?" They all aw-ed and agreed.

"Baby, that was funny," Edward chuckled.

"Are you making fun of me?" I asked.

"Absolutely not!" Edward chuckled again.

"What about we go to the County Fair in PA?" I asked. I read about it online one night. They had rides and apple pickings.

Everyone agreed. Emmett and Rose would take his Jeep, and Jasper and Alice would go with Edward and me.

The bell rang and we headed to the next class which was Cooking, once again with Edward. We held hands on the way to class; it felt so good and natural. We were working on being more open and honest with each other. I guess I was the one working on it. Edward was always honest with me.

"You want to come over for dinner?" I asked Edward. "I'm cooking tonight - chicken alfredo - we can study after." I waggled my brows at him.

"Well, since you are twisting my arm, I guess I can make it," Edward teased me.

I changed the days I worked at the library. I worked Tuesday through Thursday, giving up my Saturdays to the new girl, Angela.

"Today we are going to bake cupcakes," Mrs. Smith informed us. Edward's eyes lit up and I snickered at him. Edward and those damn cupcakes.

"First we need to get out all the ingredients, measuring cups and spoons," Mrs. Smith added.

"Can't we just get to the baking?" Edward asked.

"Patience, my Cupcake!" I scolded him, giggling.

We baked the cupcakes and frosted them before the bell rang. I gave mine to Edward and he ate both before he dropped me off to the next class. He kissed me good-bye and said he would see me later.

He arrived at my house just as I was about to set the table. Since I had been back I had talked to my parents about eating dinner as a family at the dining room table and how important it was to me. They both agreed that we would eat there when I was home.

"Hey, Edward, Bella is in the kitchen," I heard my Mom tell him. He walked in and handed me some wildflowers; they were so beautiful.

He kissed me gently on the lips and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Thanks for the flowers, they are lovely," I told him.

"Dinner is ready - let's eat!" I told everyone.

"So, Edward, what colleges have you applied for?" my Dad asked him as we ate.

"Too many to name, but I am hoping I get accepted to either Northwestern or Washington State," he told him.

"Bella applied to the same ones. Those are her two choices as well," he looked over at me and I smiled.

"Are you two planning on going to college together?" My Dad raised an eyebrow at me. Why had he decided to be so nosy now?

"If they get into the same college I think it would be so romantic," my Mom gushed.

"Oh, you would think that, Renee. Aren't you concerned that they could possibly live together?" my Dad questioned.

"Dad, we haven't even talked about any of this. But shall I remind you that my eighteenth birthday is in a few weeks and that Edward is eighteen already, which make us adults and, according to state law, we can make our own decisions!" I was getting so angry.

"Bella," Edward stopped me, "Sir, I would never suggest that Bella and I live together without your blessing. If we do go to the same college more than likely we will be living in dorms. I would have a male roommate and Bella would have a female one."

I felt like this conversation was so ridiculous. So what if we lived together or not? Edward and I hadn't even talked about what we were going to do. I didn't want to talk about it because chances were we would be going to different schools. He wanted med' school; I wanted journalism - not too many colleges offered both.

After everyone was finished we went to my room to study.

"What the hell was all that?" I asked Edward taking my frustration out on him.

"He's just worried about you," he added, pulling me to my bed. He pulled me on top of him and kissed me gently on the lips. I scooted closer and kissed him harder… passionately. I wanted to feel his body under mine. I played with his hair, kissing his neck.

"Bella, I love you so much," he whispered.

I moaned and nodded. "I love you too."

"I want to touch you, Baby," he added. I moaned again and my hands moved to his chest. His hands moved down my back and over my hips until they found my ass and he squeezed it.

"Edward?" I said between kisses.

"Yes, Baby?" he questioned.

"Touch me, please," I begged him.

Edward slipped his hands under my shirt, unhooking my bra. He ran is hands along my ribs up to my breast. I moaned and continued to kiss him, slipping my tongue in his mouth.

He continued to tease my breast. He lifted my shirt over my head and slipped my bra off. He kissed down my neck and across my collarbone. Cupping one of my breasts in his hands, as he sucked the other nipple into his mouth, teasing me.

With his other hand he moved down my leg, massaging my inner thigh. I knew where he was going. My heart started beating faster and I felt panic rise within me for some unknown reason. I tried to fight it, but I was losing the battle.

I continued to kiss him, but then I grabbed his hand and pushed it away.

"What's wrong?" he asked out of breath.

"We need to stop," I whispered.

He put his hands back on my back and pulled me up so I was looking into his eyes.

"You know I will never hurt you, right?" he said. I nodded. "I'm fine with taking things slow Baby, I love you and nothing is going to change that," he added. I sighed and rested my head on his chest.

I grabbed my shirt and bra and hurriedly put them on, turning around so Edward could not see me.

I grabbed my English books.

"Homework?" I asked.

"Why not?" He sighed.

I got up, put on some music and sat on the floor while he stayed on my bed. At ten o'clock, my Mom came in to say good-night but I knew it was my clue that Edward had to go home. I helped him pack his things and walked him downstairs.

"Adios, mi amor," I told him, practicing my Spanish.

He kissed me before getting into his car and driving away.

Edward came to pick me up early on Saturday with Jasper and Alice in tow. We were going to the PA County Fair. It was starting to get cool even though summer was not quit over yet. I decided on wearing my black skinny jeans and blue button-down shirt that Edward liked. I brought a jacket along for later, just in case.

"Hey Alice, Jasper, how are you two this fine morning?" I asked, getting in the car.

"It's too fuckin' early to be up," Jasper whined, obviously not a morning person.

"Jazz, give it a rest - 9 a..m is not early," Alice rebutted.

"On a Saturday morning it is," he huffed and looked out the window.

Wow, it was going to be a long day if this was how these two were going to be. We stopped by McDonald's on the way to get some breakfast. We ate in the car but Edward had a fit the entire time.

"What's up with you guys whining this morning?" I asked, "Jasper, and now you."

"Just don't make a mess - that is all I am saying," Edward whined again.

"Yeah, because I am two and I don't know how to eat," I batted my eyelashes at him. He was being so ridiculous.

"I'm not talking about you!" He looked back to Jasper.

"What the hell, Edward? I'm not a pig," he yelled. Yeah this was going to be a fun day.

We finally made it to the fair and Rose and Em were waiting for us by the entrance.

"Dude, I thought you always speed through the town. What took you so long? Em asked.

"Edward was having an aneurysm because we were eating in his car." Alice rolled her eyes.

"Can we just go in already?" I asked. Jeez, the people I hung out with.

We went on a few rides and ate some cotton candy. The day was so much fun. Before we left we picked some apples from the orchard. Edward lifted me up on his back to get some of the best apples that were high up in the tree.

We decided that we would go eat afterwards. When we got to the restaurant, I excused myself to go to the restroom and Rose went with me.

"So you told Edward I heard," Rose told me.

"Yeah. While I was in California, I had a really bad nightmare and he helped me, I guess I had no choice in the matter," I admitted to her. "Then when I was in Phoenix I ran into Victoria."

"No way, what happened?" Rose questioned while she reapplied her lip gloss.

"I freaked out, like, really freaked. I don't even remember half of it, Jake called Edward and he talked to me until I fell asleep," I recounted, "I felt so helpless, Edward asked if I had ever seeked counseling, but I haven't."

We left the restroom and walked back to the table.

"…she is going to be so mad," I heard Alice tell Edward.

"Who?" I asked.

"Oh, hey, Bella… nothing. Come, sit, what would you like to eat? I ordered a Coke for you," Edward told me.

I wondered who they were talking about.

After dinner we took Jasper home and Edward dropped me off next, since Alice lived next door to him.

"Can I pick you up tomorrow?" Edward asked me. It had been awhile since he had picked me up. Just hadn't made sense when I had to go to work after school.

"No… work tomorrow, Cupcake. I'll see you at school," I informed him.

"Okay, I love you baby. See you tomorrow," he told me, kissing me softly on the lips.

I went inside and fell right to sleep.

The next day I woke up to a fever of one hundred and one, and a nasty sore throat. I could barely talk; it hurt so badly.

"Mom?" I croaked.

"What is it, sweetie?" my Mom asked checking my forehead. "Oh, you look terrible - are you sick?"

My Mom forced me back to my bed and brought me Tylenol and water.

I thought I had better call Edward.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Edward, it's Bella," I coughed. "I'm sick and I am not going to make it to school today."

"What's wrong?" he sounded worried.

"My throat is sore and I have a fever," I informed him.

"I'm sorry, Baby. I'll bring you some soup after school. Stay in bed and get some rest," he suggested.

I think I slept half of the day away and when I heard a knock at 3:00 p.m., I knew it had to be Edward. Too bad I didn't have time to get cleaned up. My hair was knotted; my nose was red from blowing. He might just run the other way when he saw me.

"Hey, you!" He walked in with a bowl of soup and crackers. "I stopped at the diner and asked for their chicken noodle soup."

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Can I sit?" Edward asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Maybe you shouldn't get too close. I don't want you to catch anything," I suggested to him.

Edward brought my school work for me and we studied together; no making out for obvious reasons, but I was glad he was with me. I studied my Spanish; seems that it was the hardest for me.

Edward and I talked about college; whether we should try and get into the same one. It would be wonderful if Edward and I could go away to college together. It would be perfect, but in reality, getting into the same college would be a miracle.

"I'm not saying I don't want to, but I think we need to really think about what is going to happen if we don't, Edward. I mean, do you think our relationship could last long distance? Plus college is tough, especially for someone who is going into medicine. How are you even going to have time to call me, let alone see me?" I asked him.

"Bella, I would make the time for you. If we don't end up at the same college - yes, it will be hard, Baby - but we can make coffee dates or something every Sunday and we could visit every break we get. It could work. I mean, what are you saying, Bella, we should break up after graduation?" he asked, all serious and pouty.

I didn't want that either, but I didn't know how this would work if we didn't get into the same college. I knew how things went. We both would meet new friends and have different things going on. Parties and drinking; even in college it couldn't be avoided much. Before we knew it, we would start calling less often and who knew? Edward was beautiful; girls already throw themselves at him, and in college it was going to be worse. I would be nothing compared to all those beautiful girls out there.

"Bella, I don't want anyone else but you, why can't you see that? You are it for me," he told me, holding my hand.

"Okay, Edward, it is getting late and I need to rest, and you need to go home. We will talk about it later; we still have all year," I told him. I didn't want him to leave here sad.

"One thing before I go - what do you want for your birthday?"

God, why did he have to remind me?

"Nothing!" I shouted. "Edward, birthdays are kind of bad luck for me. I don't like to celebrate," I informed him.

"What do you mean bad luck?" he asked.

Well, if he must know…

"When I turned 5, I fell out of a tree and broke my wrist. When I turned 8, my Dad got hit by a car while on duty. When I was 13, my Mom tried to bake a cake and burnt down the kitchen; and at 16 someone stole the car my Dad gave me. I'm doomed. Please, let's not celebrate. Who knows what would happen," I whined. It was why my Mom never did anything for me anymore - it was useless.

"Bella, that is just insane. You know that is only a few things, compared to the 18 years you have been alive. Besides, I want to celebrate your birth, it brought you to me," he cooed.

The following week went by without incident. Edward and Alice had been very secretive. I suspected it had to do with my birthday. Every time I came around they would stop talking and when I would get up to leave, they would huddle together.

I asked my Mom if she knew anything about a party or something Edward was planning. I knew my Mom would not be able to keep a secret if she knew about it. She said she didn't know anything, but since my birthday fell on a Monday this year, she said that she and my Dad would just be taking me out to dinner and, she would invite Edward.

Maybe Esme knew something; I would have to ask her the next time I worked. I wondered if she would tell me, if she did know anything. I decided I would play it cool and ask her if Edward would be able to go out for my birthday which was on the Mondayto see if she gave anything away.

"Esme, my birthday is next Monday," I started.

"Oh it is?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah and my parents are taking me out to dinner. Will it be okay if Edward came out with us?" I questioned.

"Of course, dear. Wow, you're turning 18, huh? Must be exciting. What are you asking for this year?" she wondered.

"Nothing, dinner with the parents is fine with me. Since my birthday is on a Monday there is not much else to do," I informed her, "plus, I HATE parties." I stressed the 'hate'.

She didn't give anything away and I left there wondering what Edward still had up his sleeve.

A/N: Secrets are never good. Glad they are on their way to clearing the air. They are so young and have so much to learn about relationships. So what do you think? Think any more secrets are going to be revealed? Review and let me know.

Special thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for me keeping on my toes and making me laugh all the time.


	19. Chapter 19 Birthday Surprises

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. There, I said it.

I love me an Edward's POV don't you? Let's see what he has to say. A/N at the end…yeah?

**Chapter 19 EPOV**

**Birthday Surprises**

Alice and I were planning a surprise birthday party for Bella. I know she said that she didn't want anyone to make a big deal about it, but when Alice came to me and wanted to throw a party for her, I thought it was a great idea at the time.

That was before Bella told me that she hated to celebrate her birthday. I didn't know what the big deal was with her; she said she had bad luck on her birthday, but I was going to change that.

Throwing a surprise party was tough, Bella was always with me. When she would get up to go to the restroom, Alice and I talked a couple of times - she almost caught us when she returned.

My Mom told me that Bella tried to get information out of her but that my Mom played it 'cool', so she said. She told me that Bella made it known that she "hated" parties. My Mom was kind of concerned that Bella was going to be mad at me.

The party was not going to be big; just my parents, Alice, Rose, Jasper, Emmett and myself. I asked Bella's parents if they wanted to come but they refused, wished me good luck, and invited me to dinner on Monday.

Bella came back to school the next day after her illness. She still was not feeling well but said she didn't want to miss any more school. The girl never missed school.

Rose invited her to watch her in the cheer competition on Saturday. aAter, Rose dropped off Bella at my house - so we can go "out" - but really we would be having the party.

"Hey, Cullen, congratulations man, you deserve it." Some guy said to me when I got to school on Friday. Okay I had no idea what that was about but I thanked him anyway.

"Congratulations, Bella, Edward," another student commented to us.

"What are they talking about, Edward?" Bella asked me on the way to her class. I shrugged my shoulders; I had no idea.

I dropped Bella off at her class when Alice came running up to us.

"Oh my God, congratulations you two!" Alice squealed.

"Alice what the hell is everyone congratulating us on?" I asked a little annoyed.

"You and Bella, you both have been nominated for Homecoming king and queen. Isn't that great?" Alice beamed like a proud parent.

"What?" Bella screamed "No, no, no… when did this happen? I wasn't even running. No, no I am not going to homecoming, tell them no Edward!" Bella pleaded.

"You don't have to do anything Bella. I mean some try to promote themselves - but if you are seriously against it - I'm sure if you do nothing you won't even win," Alice tried to comfort her.

"Bella, we have to go to Homecoming, this is senior year. It's a rite of passage, plus we will be together. Please, for me? I didn't think I even had to ask you." I gave her my crooked smile which I knew she couldn't deny.

"I have to be driven around the field in a car, no way. The Homecoming court… are you kidding me?" Bella screamed.

"Bella, Emmett and Rose are nominated too, so you will be with them, don't worry," Alice chuckled.

"I have to get to class - we will talk about it later okay?" I asked, kissing her on the forehead.

I had no idea Bella would freak out over something so small. It was not a big deal. I mean I am kind of proud of us. We didn't even nominate ourselves; other people did it for us. They must think we are a good couple, right?

The next day Alice showed up at my house at 7 a.m., saying we needed to start on the decorations. My parents were not too happy getting woken up so early. Alice started the coffee and handed me a box of twinkling lights and pink and black ribbon.

"Alice what am I supposed to do with these?" I asked, confused. She looked at me like I had two heads and no brain.

"The lights are for the deck, hang them up; and the ribbon is for the beams, wrap them around. Every other one is black and pink, got it?" she instructed and I nodded.

When that was all done, I swept and mopped the kitchen and bathrooms' floors. I lit candles around the house and helped Alice set out some flowers.

I took Alice to get balloons and to pick up the cupcakes. I ordered cupcakes that were layered like a cake - pink and black of course. Alice said everything had to match.

My Dad and Mom went to get ice, soda, chips, dip, and the food. My Mom was cooking for the party. They were staying for the dinner but had a party to go to after.

My Mom was making some sort of Hawaiian chicken and rice. As soon as she got back she started cooking. Alice called Jasper to come over because we were running behind according to her, but I didn't really see what else needed to be done.

Bella called.

"Hey, Baby," I answered the phone.

"You sound out of breath, what were you doing?" she asked.

"Oh, my mom was having me help her clean," I lied.

"I wanted to know what I need to wear tonight - where are we going?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter. Oh, I like that pink and black skirt - you have wear that for me. Okay, Baby?" I added, at least she would match the decorations.

"Okay, I'll see you later cupcake," she cooed.

"K, bye. I love you," I whispered.

"Love you, too," she added.

I had to go and pick up her present. I knew if all else failed, she couldn't be upset about her present, neither of them, since I hadn't spent a dime. I got back with her surprise, then Rose texted Alice that they were at Bella's. She was changing; they would arrive in twenty minutes.

We heard Rose and Bella out front. I told Rose the door would be unlocked, and for her to just come in. I hid her surprise and we waited in the kitchen.

"Rose, maybe Edward is not…" she started to say, but was cut off by our

"Surprise!"

"You lied to me," she stated, pushing me a way. But she was smiling so I knew she wasn't too upset.

"Happy Birthday, Baby!" I kissed her on the cheek.

"You all knew… Esme!" she whined.

"Sorry sweetie, Edward made me promise. Happy birthday!" My Mom came up to her, kissed and hugged her, as well as my Dad.

"I can't believe you guys. Rose, you invited me to get me out, huh?" She was still in shock.

"Well, where is my lil' sis? I believe I am owed a hug." Emmett came up to Bella, picked her up and swung her around.

"I think I am owed a hug and a kiss too!"

"Jake?" Bella turned around to find Jake standing in the doorway.

"Surprise!" I told her. She just smiled at me and ran to hug Jake.

"Happy Birthday, Bells. You don't think I would miss your eighteenth birthday do you?" he asked her.

"No, but I thought I would get a call on Monday," she told him. "How long are you here?" she added.

"I leave tomorrow." He frowned.

"Well, this is the best birthday present ever. Thank you, Cupcake." She walked over to me and planted her lips on mine. We kissed until someone cleared their throat - my Dad again. I didn't want to pull away but I had no choice.

"Why do you call him cupcake?" Jake questioned. "If it's something intimate, I don't want to know!" he added.

I chuckled.

"Jake! Nothing like that. He just loves cupcakes so much his face lights up just mentioning them. On our first date he wouldn't even share a cupcake with me - I guess it just stuck." Bella blushed because everyone was listening to her.

We went out to the backyard where Alice set up the stereo on the deck and the twinkling lights.

"Edward, Bella… picture time," Alice squealed.

There were some of Bella and me; Jake and Bella; and just the girls. Emmett insisted that he got one with just Bella also. He was taking this big brother thing seriously.

I pulled Bella onto my lap as we listened to some music and talked about everything, and nothing at all. My Mom called us all in to have dinner.

"Esme, this looks fabulous. Thank you so much, everyone," Bella said, choking up. "I told Edward I hated to celebrate my birthday and begged him not to do anything, but this has been the best birthday ever, thanks to all of you." I leaned over and kissed her cheek. I loved this girl.

There was never going to be anyone else. I knew I had said it before and I would say it again. Bella owned my heart; I would never get it back. I was going to marry this girl.

I knew we were young and I was not saying I was even thinking about getting married, but I knew Bella was it for me. Once college was over and I was working on being a doctor, I was going to get down on one knee and ask for her hand.

"What are you thinking about, Cupcake?" Bella bought me out of my daydream.

"Marrying you," I answered honestly.

"Gah! We are too young to get married!" she told me all wide eyed.

"I know that. I am not talking about tomorrow. I mean after college when I am starting my residency or something," I answered.

"Okay, Cupcake," she said rolling her eyes at me.

We all had some cupcakes, then it was time for Bella to open presents. Alice handed the one she bought her. It was a scrapbook for her to make of her senior year. Rose and Em bought her a new Ipod, since she lost the other one while in California. My parents handed her a gift; I didn't even know they got her something. It was a surprise for me as well; they said it was a birthday/graduation present for both of us to go to Disney World in Florida.

"Thank you, everyone, these are great." Bella blushed.

"Okay one more from me ,and before you say anything, I didn't spend a dime on it, okay?" I handed it to her.

"A CD?" she questioned, as she opened it.

"Not too long ago I walked in the mall with a pretty girl, telling her I needed sheet music because I couldn't get a melody out of my head." I grabbed her hand. "It was inspired by you," I added kissing her hand.

"I don't know what to say. We… it was before we went out," she stuttered.

"I know, want to hear it?" I asked.

I put the CD in the player and pushed 'play'. The melody started and everyone stopped talking. The beginning was melancholy and I remembered how I felt alone and out of place, like I was missing something in my life. Then the melody started to take off and come to life. It was how I felt when we were finally together - whole, alive. The melody continued to ring through the air until it slowed and then came to an end. But it lingered like the melody could continue if it needed to. That was our love, never-ending. It was a complete circle. As long as she was a part of my life I would continue to feel whole and alive.

Bella was sitting on my lap, with tears streaming down her face.

"I didn't mean to make you sad, Love." I kissed her hair.

"I'm not sad, just a bit overwhelmed, I guess. Edward, it is beautiful. Thank you so much for everything." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"Where did everyone go?" she asked. I hadn't even noticed they had all left either - always in that Edward and Bella bubble.

"To give us some privacy, I guess." I shrugged.

My parents left for the night, leaving all of us to do as we wished.

"Let's get this show on the road. What are we doing?" Emmett boomed.

"Let's play truth or dare." Alice was always up for games suggestions.

"No, last time I got into trouble because of you, missy." Bella pointed her finger at Alice.

Alice stuck out her tongue at Bella.

"Let's play Guitar Hero," Jake suggested.

"Excellent idea, my man." Emmett slapped Jake on the back.

We decided to have teams. Girls against guys; Jasper didn't want to play. The girls were up first.

Bella sang, Alice played guitar and Rose played the drums. Bella sang well and Rose kicked ass on the drums. Who knew? Alice was a little shaky on the guitar. Their score was pretty high.

We were up next. I sang, Emmet played the drums and Jake played guitar. We came in 50 points higher than the girls, mainly because Jake kicked ass on guitar.

"I think we need to bet something," Emmett quipped. Emmett - always the betting man.

"Like what?" I asked.

"How about if the girls win, we have to wash their cars, and if we win, they have to wash ours," he suggested. Everyone agreed and we started playing again. It was the best 3 out of 5 scores. Jasper was the judge. The girls were up first. Bella was on guitar, Rose on vocals and Alice on drums - we won round one.

The next round had Bella on vocals, Rose on drums and Alice on guitar - they won that round.

The following two rounds we were tied. It was up to the last round and the losers would wash the other's cars.

"Hope you girls have the water and buckets ready!" Emmett teased.

Alice was on vocals, Bella on drums and Rose on guitar. We had Emmett on guitar, Jake on vocals, and I was on drums. The girls won the round and the game. Looked like we would be washing their cars.

"Damn, Rose, where did you learn to sing like that?" I questioned.

"We won because you put Em on guitar. He sucks." Rose giggled.

It was getting late so everyone left. I took Jake and Bella over to her house. I would be picking them up early in the morning to take Jake back to the airport.

"Thanks, Edward, for the awesome birthday. I loved it." Bella kissed me. I hugged her and told Jake 'bye'. They went into the house.

I drove back to my house and started to clean up. Around 11:30 my parents came home, then I finished taking all the lights down off the deck.

"Oh sweetie, leave it for the morning. You have been busy all day. Bella had fun, huh? So glad everything turned out so well," my Mom gushed.

I fell asleep around 12:30 a.m.; I had to be at Bella's to get Jake back on the plane by 6:30 a.m..

I texted Bella letting her know I was on my way in the morning.

When I got to the house they were waiting for me. I didn't think they had slept though.

"Did you two sleep?" I asked.

"Nope, we stayed awake and talked all night," Jake informed me.

"I'm sleeping on the way to the airport." Bella yawned.

"And I will sleep on the plane," Jake added.

Once we dropped Jake off, we turned around and came home. Bella slept the entire way back home.

"I should have left you home, sleeping," I told Bella when we pulled up to her house.

"Sorry, Cupcake." Bella frowned.

"No, don't worry, just kidding you," I told her. I left her at home and I went back to my home to get some sleep myself.

"Happy Birthday, Baby, how does it feel to be an adult," I asked her on Monday morning.

"I don't know. Let's see when I actually get to make a decision for myself," she told me.

I went to Bella's house after school. I wanted to spend as much time with her as possible on her actual birthday.

We waited for her Dad to come home so we could go to the Italian Restaurant in Port Angeles.

Bella and I sat in the back after her Dad insisted that we take his Explorer. Bella had wanted to drive herself.

"Bella, I am driving, end of discussion," Charlie told her. "Plus if you drive, are your Mom and I going to sit in the back of your car?" Charlie questioned.

"Oh, maybe we can make out if we do, Charlie," Renee teased.

"Eww, Mom, gross!" Bella winced.

"Oh, like you and Edward never." She looked over at me.

"Mom! Can we just go?" Bella was blushing. I just thought it was funny. Her parents sure were in a world of their own.

"Edward, it is not funny!" Bella scolded me.

We made it to the restaurant and got a seat and ordered our food.

"Did Bella tell you that we have been nominated for queen and king?" I asked them.

"Edward," Bella whispered.

"Bella, that is wonderful. I bet you two win, you make such a cute couple," Bella's Mom cooed.

"We need to go shopping to pick out a dress." Renee beamed at Bella.

After dinner her parents gave her a gift, a new digital camera.

"Oh that will help with the scrapbook," I reminded her.

On the way back home we stopped and got ice-cream and got a flat tire. Charlie and I had to change it but it was giving us trouble. The bolts were too tight and we couldn't get the tire off. After an hour of trying, Charlie finally decided to call AAA.

It was late by the time we got back to her house and I had to get home.

"Told you… bad luck birthdays," Bella giggled.

"It wasn't so bad, Bella. I got to spend it with you and you got to be with me," I told her.

"I guess you are right… see you tomorrow, Cupcake." She kissed me on the lips. I got in my car and went home.

A/N: Kind of a shorter chapter. Hope you enjoyed Bella's birthday. Emmett, always the betting man. Home coming is next chapter. Let me know what your thoughts are and if you think Edward and Bella are going to win.

Special thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and reminding me about my numbers. And to my beta crazierthanu, who has made me laugh so many times and who has encouraged me when I had little faith in myself.


	20. Chapter 20: Homecoming

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight although I would like to own Edward.

A few things before you get started. I think this is the longest chapter so far. It goes back and forth between Edward and Bella's POV's. I love this chapter and hate it all at the same time, you will see why. Lastly, I never use music for chapters but had to with this one. There is a long ass A/N at the end as well, so let's get started.

**Chapter 20 BPOV/EPOV**

**Homecoming**

BPOV

"What do you think about this dress, Alice?" It was the tenth dress I tried on. Alice, Rose and I went to Seattle, yes Seattle, to find the perfect dress for Homecoming because according to Alice, the dress makes the girl not the other way around.

We left Friday after school. It was an overnight trip for a freakin' dress. I had to talk fast for my Dad to even allow me to go.

_"Seattle is not the safest of all cities, honey. Maybe your Mom can go with you," he suggested. I snorted, "The woman who gets afraid after watching Alien on TV? Like she would protect me from the bad people." _

_Then I added, "I can ask Edward to go with us if you like?" His response, "Here take pepper spray with you." Yeah, thanks Dad. _

Edward was another story.

_"Don't they have dresses in Port Angeles?" he questioned me when I told him the plan. _

_"Well, not a good selection. We kind of waited until last minute and all the good dresses were gone." I pouted. I really just wanted some girl time with my friends. We were always out as couples. _

_"Seattle is not the safest city, Bella?" he stated to me. Jeez, hanging out with Charlie much? _

_"You sound like my Dad, Edward. It is overnight and we will be in the hotel. It is not like we are going to be out in the street. Hotel, mall and home that's all." I touched his cheek to try and comfort him. _

"Bella are you listening to me?" Alice whined.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Here is the last dress, it's blue, so I hope you like it." She handed it to me from the other side of the door.

I tried it on and turned around. It was knee-length, tied around my neck, showed a little too much cleavage for my liking, but the dress itself was beautiful. It was midnight blue and shimmered in the light. I stepped out of the dressing room and both Alice and Rose's mouths dropped open. This was 'the' dress.

"Bella, you are so going to win this thing!" Rose commented.

"Pfft…yeah right - when I am up against the epitome of beautiful." I motioned toward her. Rose was so beautiful and confident all the time, she was sure to win.

It was already noon, so with our purchases in hand, we went to eat at _Olive Garden_ before we left for home. Alice insisted that I buy heels and that if I walked around in them before the dance I would be okay. I was not convinced so I also bought a pair of flats just in case.

I called my Dad to let him know that after we ate we would be on our way home and then I called my 'other Dad' to let him know as well.

Edward texted me all night wanting to know what we were doing and if we were at the hotel. I didn't know if it was him wanting to protect me from the bad people of Seattle or if he was jealous that I might find someone else.

At 1 a.m. I told him I had to go to sleep; Rose and Alice were already passed out.

We woke up early the next morning, grabbed some breakfast and headed home. I was glad that Rose drove her car this time. I slept on the way.

Rose dropped Alice off first. All the guys were playing football in the front yard of Edward's house.

"Well, isn't that a sight to see!" Rose gushed.

All the guys had their shirts off, playing in just shorts. It was an unusually warm day in Forks. Well, warm meaning 65 degrees, and the sun was peeking through the clouds.

"We sure date some hot men!" I commented and Alice let out an "uh-uh" before we all exited the car to witness the amazing god-like creatures in the flesh.

"So, did you find dresses?" Edward asked, walking over to plant a kiss on my lips.

"Yep, but you can't see it until the dance," I informed him.

I had to get home before my Dad sent out an APB on me. I kissed Edward good-bye and told Alice I would see her at school on Monday. Rose dropped me off at my house and I went inside to find it empty. Our big screen TV was gone, there was glass from the back door on the kitchen floor and cabinets open, with things thrown around the house. We had been robbed.

Okay, Bella, think… where are my parents?

"Mom, Dad are you home?" I yelled. Maybe they are dead in their room or something - should I check? Maybe I should just call 911? Wait, their car is gone, they must be out or the robbers took it. Where is my car? I needed to call my Dad.

"Y'ellow?" my Dad answered.

"Daddy?" I started crying, glad he was still alive.

"Bella, baby what is wrong?"

"I'm home, but we've been robbed. Dad, the place is a mess!" I started to tell him everything but he cut me off.

"Bella, get out of the house. They might still be in there. I'm going to call 911. Call Edward to come and stay with you or go to his house!" he commanded me.

"Umm… Dad, my car is not here," I informed him.

"Okay, go. I'm out shopping with your Mom, I'm going to call the station," he told me.

I grabbed my purse and went outside to call Edward but it went to voice mail. Then I remembered that he was playing in his front yard; he probably didn't have his phone with him. I called his house instead.

"Hello?" I heard Edward say, out of breath.

"Edward, my house… they robbed us… they took my car and my parents are not home. My Dad asked if you could come and pick me up or come and stay with me, he told me to leave the house in case they are still inside. I am standing on the corner," I stated all with one breathe.

"I'm on my way!" Edward exclaimed, hanging up the phone.

In about five minutes, Edward, my parents and the police showed up at the house. I ran to Edward looking for comfort in his arms. My Dad and Mom came up to me to make sure I was alright.

My Dad and the police officer went inside to check the house to make sure that no one was inside after it was all cleared. Then they asked us to make a list of items that were missing.

I walked inside again; I had already noticed the TV was gone. I wandered upstairs to my room and went inside. My jewelry box was dumped but nothing was gone. My laptop was missing and my bed was trashed.

"Oh, Edward, look at the mess and they broke my CD that you gave me," I cried. I was just so overwhelmed. I felt so violated.

"Baby, it's okay, I can make you a new one." He pulled me into his arms.

Edward held me, rocking me back and forth. "Who would break in to my house? Why would they want anything that was mine?"

"I don't know, Baby. I'm sure your Dad will get to the bottom of it," Edward answered me. I didn't know I was speaking out loud.

Edward hushed me and kissed my head, trying to comfort me. I wanted to get out of my room so I grabbed his hand and led him downstairs.

My parents were missing some money my Mom kept in a cookie jar in the kitchen. We gave the list to the officers and my Dad made a few calls. They asked us to leave while they dusted for fingerprints.

"We can't stay here tonight; we will need to go to a hotel. They are coming to fix the door but I would feel better if we stayed away tonight," my Dad suggested.

"Can I stay at Edward's?" I asked. I couldn't stay at a hotel with my parents and I had to go to school in the morning.

"Absolutely not!" my Dad yelled. Jeez, Dad!

"We have an extra room, Mr. Swan. I'll take care of her," Edward reassured my Dad.

"I'm sure you will," my Dad retorted.

"Dad!" I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, Charlie, let her stay at Edward's. She can't stay here and she has to go to school tomorrow," my Mom told him. "I'll call Esme and talk to her," she added.

After all that was said and done, I was allowed to stay at Edward's. I grabbed my overnight bag, kissing my Mom and Dad good-bye. I went and got into Edward's car.

Once we got to his house, he showed me where my room was and I put my bag in there. I told him I wanted to take a shower and would meet him in his room after.

I put on my pajamas and wrapped my hair in a towel. I walked over to Edward's room.

I knocked on the door, then went inside.

"Hey, Baby, you okay?" Edward asked.

I nodded, walked over to him and sat on his lap.

"I was thinking. Don't you find it strange that a lot of things stolen were mine?" I questioned. Most of it was my things and my room was the worst.

"I guess, I don't know. Don't worry about it, Bella. Your Dad will get to the bottom of it," Edward kissed my lips.

I moved so I was now straddling him. I kissed his neck, down his chest. I moved lower trailing kisses until I reached his pants. I looked up at him.

With my eyes fixed on his, I slowly started unbuckling his pants. One button at a time, Edward had a confused look on his face.

"Lift up, Cupcake," I told him.

Edward shook his head. "Bella, no."

"Why?" I questioned.

"Bella, you don't have to." Edward tugged on my arm to pull me up to him.

"I know, but I want to, please?" Was he rejecting me?

Edward slowly lifted up and I pulled his pants down, taking his underwear with them.

I grabbed his shaft with my hand and started to pump it slowly, running my thumb over the tip, gathering the pre-cum, using it as lubricant. I looked up at Edward, he had his eyes closed and his head on the pillow. He was slowly moving his hips up and down, keeping rhythm with my hand.

Holding onto him with my hand, I placed my mouth around him, swirling my tongue around his tip.

"Bella?" Edward called out. I stopped to look up at him. He was staring down at me. I smiled and went back to what I was doing; he was watching me now.

I continued to work him with my hand and mouth simultaneously. Pumping, licking, and sucking…I knew he was getting close as his hips started moving faster and his hands went to my hair, forcing my head down, to go deeper.

"Hmmmm…Bella," he moaned.

I moved my hand so I could take all of him in my mouth, hitting the back of my throat. Faster and fast I went; I knew he was close.

"Bella, stop…I'm…" Edward trailed off. He tried to pull away but I wouldn't let him. Holding onto him I continued sucking him as he frantically moved his hips up and down.

One last thrust and he exploded into the back of my throat. I swallowed everything. This was the first time I had actually swallowed.

Before I knew it Edward grabbed me, pulling me up into his arms. He was still breathing heavily. I suddenly felt shy. I couldn't even look at him.

"Baby, that was…amazing…no, I have no words for what it was…I love you." He kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, too." I looked up at him, placing my lips on his.

Edward pulled up his pants; I had to use the bathroom.

When I got back he was still laying on the bed, patting for me to lay next to him.

"Let me touch you, Bella," he whispered to me.

The thing was, I couldn't let him, it scared me too much. As much as I wanted him and was ready for him, I just couldn't let him touch me.

"I'm kind of tired," I told him, hoping he would just drop it. I kissed him once more, said good-night and went to my room.

The following week flew by, Homecoming was soon and I was nervous.

I was back at home and there were no leads as to who broke into the house. My Dad did not find anyone that might want revenge. I did tell my Dad about most of the things missing being mine but he chucked it up to probably being teenagers breaking into the house. I wasn't so sure.

I grabbed all of my clothes and supplies. I was getting ready at Alice's house. She called me at 7 a.m. to tell me we had to go and get our mani/pedi's, and that they opened at 9 a.m.. After, we were going to the salon to have our hair done and, when we were done with that, we would go back to her house to put our make-up on. I thought I could do everything in a few hours, but Alice said it would take all day.

I whined to Edward because I didn't feel I needed to go through all the trouble. Plus it cost me a small fortune to do all of this for one dance.

I still didn't have a car; I was waiting for the insurance to come through. I was going to have to buy a new car. So for now I had been depending on Edward. He had been taking me to and from school; and back and forth from work. Bless his little heart. I think after the dance I should bake him some cupcakes, he sure did deserve it.

After all the primping it was time to head over to the school for the football game. Edward came and knocked at the door.

Alice opened it and let him in, just as I was coming down the stairs. I'm not sure if a guy was supposed to be beautiful, but Edward was. He was all in black except for the vest which matched my midnight blue dress perfectly. His hair was a disarrayed mess on his head that only he could pull off.

He looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. "I love you," he mouthed and then added "you look beautiful." He met me at the bottom of the steps and reached for my hand and kissed it.

"You look beautiful yourself…handsome," I giggled.

We got to the game and sat the Homecoming Court, in the front row so we could easily be taken away to the back of the stadium to get on the cars. I was a nervous wreck and couldn't be still. I looked for Alice and Jasper in the bleachers but never found her.

We won the game 27 to 10, our biggest win and the crowd was wild. It looked like the entire school was there. Edward and I sat in the back of a blue Cadillac Convertible. Rose and Emmett were in a pink one, and Emmett grumbled and whined about being in a pink car.

I felt stupid being driven around on the school field and having people yell and call out Edward and my name. I thought that this only happened in movies or only to pretty and out-spoken girls, not people like me.

Once that was over the dance was being held in the gym. Edward and I hung out, waiting for Alice and Jasper to come.

"What took you so long?" Edward asked. Alice was fixing her dress and her lipstick - like Edward didn't know what took them so long. I rolled my eyes at him and he still looked at me like he had no clue.

We made our way into the dance and took pictures like usual. Edward and I danced to a few songs, fast and slow. I liked the slow ones.

"I'm glad I came, it isn't so bad when I have you on my arm." I kissed Edward.

"I feel the same way baby," he cooed, kissing my forehead. An hour into the dance they announced that the votes were cast and that in ten minutes they would announce this year's King and Queen. I voted for Rose and Em; I felt weird about voting for myself.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" the announcer asked. "I want to announce this year's King and Queen." Everyone yelled and whistled.

"This year's king is…Edward Cullen." Oh my God, Edward won. I couldn't believe it. He walked up to the stage and they placed a King's hat on his head - so corny I thought.

"And this year's Queen is…Isabella Swan," the announcer stated. What? I couldn't believe that it was me. I stood there stunned, until Edward motioned for me to go up onto the stage.

I went up on the stage and they put the crown on me - it wasn't so corny now, after all. They announced our names again and offered us the first dance.

'N Sync's "This I Promise You" started playing. Edward took my hand and led me to the dance floor.

_When the visions around you,  
Bring tears to your eyes  
And all that surround you,  
Are secrets and lies  
I'll be your strength,  
I'll give you hope,  
Keeping your faith when it's gone  
The one you should call,  
Was standing here all along.._

…the song began. I was so overwhelmed with everything. Edward was looking at me with a sparkle in his eye. "I love you," he whispered. I rested my head on his shoulder. This was the only place I ever want to be; in the arms of the only man I would ever love.

_And I will take  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you  
This I promise you_

Edward sang along with the lyrics. It brought tears to my eyes. Alice was taking pictures of us, and Rose and Emmett joined us on the dance floor along with the other nominees.

_I've loved you forever,  
In lifetimes before  
And I promise you never...  
Will you hurt anymore  
I give you my word  
I give you my heart (give you my heart)  
This is a battle we've won  
And with this vow,  
Forever has now begun..._

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)  
Each loving day (each loving day)  
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you..  
This I promise you..

The song continued in the background. Rose came and gave me a hug and Edward too. Emmett picked me up and swung me around like he always did. It became his signature hug for me.

_Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)  
When I hear you call  
Without you in my life baby  
I just wouldn't be living at all..._

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)  
You in my arms  
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)  
Till the day my life is through  
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes  
Each loving day (each loving day)  
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)  
Every word I say is true  
This I promise you

Every word I say is true  
This I promise you  
Ooh, I promise you...

Edward continued to sing to me until the song ended. He kissed me chastely on the lips, then hugged me. I whispered in his ear that I loved him and he leaned down - I could feel his smile at my ear - and he whispered the same.

I suddenly had to use the restroom. I let go of Edward and he frowned.

"I'll be back Cupcake, I need to use the restroom," I looked around to find Alice and asked her to go with me.

EPOV

"Edward, you and Bella looked so great out there. I am glad you two won," Rose told her. I knew what she meant I couldn't agree more. Bella deserved it. She was everything to me and I never had been happier.

I was kind of worried that Bella was going to freak out and give me a hard time about going to the dance. Especially when we found out we were nominated for King and Queen. I honestly thought Bella thought we wouldn't win.

"Now aren't you glad that I bet you that day?" Emmett patted me on the back. I forgot all about the bet we had made way back then. I had no idea that I would actually fall in love with someone.

"Yeah, good thing that we didn't keep it though, I love her, Em," I admitted to him.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Rose asked coming to stand with us, her hand on her hip.

"Edward thought that all the girls were the same - just wanted to use him to be popular - so I wanted him to put his theory to the test. Any girl he dated would become popular and they would win King and Queen." Emmett explained to her about the bet that was now void.

"You two are idiots. So let me get this right... you bet that you could make Bella popular just by dating her and with that, the two of you would be King and Queen?" Rose yelled over the music.

"What?" I turned around to see Bella standing beside Rose, she had heard everything Rose said.

**BPOV**

"You used me? I thought that you were different but you all are the same."

Tears were running down my face and my vision was blurred from my mascara. "All the 'I love you's', all the kisses and everything - were lies. I gave you my heart and soul and you gave me what? This?" I pulled the crown off my head.

"Bella, let me explain." Edward went to grab my hand.

"Don't touch me. And you…" I looked at Emmett who looked shocked.

"My big brother, I always wanted a brother. Someone I thought would look after me and protect me, but little did I know that it was you that I needed protection from!"

"Bella – wait - you don't understand," Emmett tried to explain.

"Bella, it is not what you think," Rose added.

"No, Rose, don't. I told you everything, you were the first person I confided in. I told you everything about what happened to me. Did you really keep the secret or did you run and tell them? Did you all laugh at me behind my back? I…I…I need to get out of here. I…can't breathe." I was starting to hyperventilate.

"Let me at least take you home," Edward offered.

"I would rather walk then ever take another ride from you again," I spat at him.

"Bella what is going on… what happened Edward?" Alice questioned when she reached us.

"And you, Alice, always acting like the innocent friend, only Edward's best friend. Just like me, you are nothing without him. You're only popular because you hang out with Edward. Try doing it on your own and see where it gets you. I hate you. I hate all of you." I was crying and shaking. I needed to get out of here.

"What is she talking about, Edward?" Alice questioned. "I don't know what happened but I didn't know anything Bella and what you are saying is hurting me." Alice started to cry.

I ran out of the gym and down the road. When I got far enough away I started to walk and tried to slow my breathing. I had no idea where I was heading or what I was planning to do. I had no car, and I left my cell in Edward's car. Thinking about him brought on a new wave of tears and heaving. I felt like I was going to vomit.

I was not sure how long I walked but I found myself across the street from the library. I wandered over and prayed that someone was still there. I knocked on the door but found no one.

I sat on the step and cried. Once in awhile my lips would move as I tried to sort out everything that had happened. Headlights pulled into the parking lot but I couldn't see who it was.

"Bella?" I heard the voice of Esme. I started crying more; she was the last person I wanted to find me.

"What happened, sweetie? Where's Edward? Is everything alright?" she questioned, panic in her voice.

"I… I… I… he… he… I…" I stuttered.

"It was all lies, they just lied to me. Why do people think it is okay to become friends with me, then stab me in the back? I'm a good person but I never make the right friends," I cried and threw up on the sidewalk. She came and held my hair out of my face.

"Edward?" I heard Esme on the phone. "I found Bella at the library. Edward you didn't… No I believe you. I think she needs to go home. No, I will take her, I think you did enough," Esme sounded angry.

"Bella, Edward said it was a misunderstanding. I am going to take you home." She tried to help me up. I didn't want to go home though.

"No! I can't go home… they touched me, _he_ touched me. I need to get away from the school, don't make me go back. They were in my home. I never asked to be popular. I didn't want to be Queen - I did it for Edward, he promised me he would never hurt me. Emmet was my big brother," I rambled.

"Bella, you need to get up. I will help you get home," Esme pleaded with me, but I just stayed curled up on the ground.

"Carlisle, I need your help… it is Bella. I'm at the library…she's not making sense and she won't get up. I'll explain when you get here, please hurry," she cried.

She held me and rocked me back and forth trying to comfort me. I threw up again and heaved once; nothing else came up. Carlisle showed up minutes or hours later; time was off, I didn't know. I vaguely heard Esme explain to him what had happened.

He picked me up and put me in the car. My hair was wet from the light drizzle that was falling outside and my face was wet from tears. He calmed me down enough, until I was just hiccupping and no longer crying. I heard another car pull up and then Edward's voice.

"Let me see her," I heard him tell his Dad.

The car door opened and I opened the other end, falling out.

"No! Stay away from me. Don't come near me. I can't do this. Stay away!" I screamed. I started running down the parking lot. Carlisle caught me and held me to him.

"She's out of it. I think we should take her to the hospital," Carlisle suggested.

I shook my head 'no'. "Take me home," I choked.

I got back into the car and Carlisle drove me home. He helped me out of the car and into my house. I heard a lot of voices and shouting but I had no idea what was being said. Carlisle gave me a pill and the next thing I knew I was sleeping.

**EPOV**

"What were you thinking Edward?" my Dad asked. For the hundredth time I told him that I never went through with the bet and Bella misunderstood everything. She had only caught the end of the conversation. She didn't want to talk to me and I could not explain it to her; I didn't blame her. I ruined the best thing that had ever happened to me and she hated me. I saw the hurt and pain in her face and eyes; I will never get the look out of my head.

"What happened when you took her home?" I asked my Mom.

"Her parents are pissed, Edward," my Dad cut in. "Her Dad yelled at me and I couldn't even find it in me to defend you. What you did was wrong. Really Edward, was it all a joke?" he asked.

"NO!" I threw my hands up in the air. Why didn't he get that I was hurting here too?

"I had to give her a Xanax, to get her to calm down. Edward, I think she is going to have a breakdown because of this. She was delusional; she was not making sense and she couldn't calm herself down. I hope her parents get her help," he told me.

"And don't you go and see her - she needs time. You will only make it worse," he added.

There was a knock at the door. It was Alice, in tears.

"Alice?" I walked over to her. She looked terrible. Bella was really mean to her.

"Don't, Edward," she started, "is it true?" she asked.

"No, Alice, I never went through with the bet," I explained to her. Why didn't anyone believe me?

"Not about that, about me only being popular because I am associated with you and everyone is only my friend because of it?" she questioned.

"God, Alice, I don't know. I never wanted to be popular. I never wanted any of it; it just happened. You know how it is," I tried to convince her.

"Actually, I don't. Edward, I am always in your shadow. I mean Rose is popular because she is cheer captain. Bella was popular because she was your girlfriend. What was I? Edward's best friend?" Tears were running down her cheeks.

"Bella was my friend. I loved her like a sister Edward and she hates me now - because of you!" she spat.

"She hates me too Alice!" I yelled back.

"Yeah, well, you deserve it!" She walked out and slammed the door. Now I had lost my best friend too.

A/N: Tissue anyone? Please don't hate me. You all knew this had to be coming. I'm going to warn you now that the next 3 or so chapters have a lot of angst in them, but it is important and I hope you will stick with this and follow Bella through her process. This story does have an HEA as I have said before; it's just going to take a while to get there. Bella already had issues she did not deal with, this just added to it. Edward not only lost his best friend but his girl too. Does anyone feel sorry for him? This was one of the most draining chapters I had to write. Please leave a review I really want to know what your thoughts are.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading even though I made her cry her eyes out. Sorry babe! Thanks to crazierthanu, I will never be able to tell you enough just how lucky I am to have you as a friend and beta.


	21. Chapter 21: Black Hole

Disclaimer: Twilight does not belong to me. I just enjoy putting the characters through crap. I wish I could let everyone know this is an easy chapter but…it might be even harder than the last one. A/N at the end.

**Chapter 21 BPOV**

**Black Hole**

Days, weeks, maybe months passed. I wasn't quite sure. I slept and cried, slept and cried, woke up, threw up, cried some more and had a few nightmares. At one point my mom had to come up and hold me until I fell back to sleep.

My Mom tried to bring me food but I never ate it. I didn't know how my phone got back into my possession; _he_ must have brought it. I broke my phone when I threw it against the wall after it rang off the hook. I didn't care who was calling me. I had no friends here.

Alice came by to visit but my Mom told her I was not up to having any company. I cried and had to take another Xanax after she left. Carlisle wrote a prescription for me that my Mom had filled.

I had my Mom call Esme to tell her I quit. She told my Mom I could have my job back whenever I was ready; she sent me flowers that day. I cried myself to sleep that night and had another nightmare.

In my dreams before, Edward left me and I couldn't find him; now I found him but he laughed at me and ran off.

I missed a week of school. When my Mom started talking about moving again, I had to stop her. I was tired of running away. I could handle this. I was not going to move and start my senior year all over again.

"Where are you going?" my Mom asked when I grabbed my backpack.

"I'm going to school today," I informed her. "Will you give me a ride?" I needed to put 'buy a car' on my to-do list.

My Mom gave me a ride and I had to fight back the panic when I saw the silver Volvo parked in the parking lot. They were standing by _his _car. I looked at them out of the corner of my eye.

"If you need to come home, call me." My Mom handed me a new cell phone. I hoped she was smart enough to change the number.

Edward started to walk towards me but Emmett grabbed his arm and pulled him back. They were arguing but I was not sure about what. I quickly ran the other way and went to my first class. I had to get make-up work anyway. The hardest part was going to English and Cooking. I knew Edward would be in those classes.

English was not too bad. He was there but we did not sit together. I ignored him and walked swiftly out the door after class. I asked my Mom to pick me up at lunch time, but cried in the parking lot when she forgot. I didn't remember anyone coming out to the parking and helping me up. Edward offered me his jacket and asked if I needed to call my Mom.

"I'm not your concern anymore," I told him. I was freezing and wanted to go home. He walked me to class and after, I handed him back his jacket.

"No, keep it," he informed me.

"I don't want it!" I yelled.

When the bell rang I placed the jacket on the back of his chair.

Alice was waiting at the door, probably for Edward.

"Alice," Edward said.

"I'm not talking to you. Bella, can I speak to you please?" she begged. She wasn't talking to Edward? That was new.

"Alice, I can't… I need time, please understand," I told her.

"I need to talk to you!" She started crying.

With a heavy sigh, I agreed.

She told me that it was all a misunderstanding. Blah, blah, blah - I had heard it all before. Edward didn't make the bet. Yes, at first he did but when he fell in love with me, he called the bet off. Then why didn't he just tell me from the beginning - that it was originally a bet, but he had a change of heart because somewhere along the way he fell in love with me? Why? Because he hadn't; and it wasn't true.

"You have to believe that I had nothing to do with it, Bella. I miss you so much and I want us to be able to be friends again. I don't have anyone. I'm not friends with Edward anymore." She looked down at her feet. I told her that I needed time; I was not ready to forgive and forget; and I was not ready to trust anyone at the moment.

School was the same every day; it was actually easy at school. I could focus on my school work and not think about anything else. I had a week's work to make up for but most of the teachers were understanding and what I couldn't finish in class, I could finish at home.

Being home was the hardest. My parents tip-toed around me trying not to mention anything that would remind me of _him_. I rarely left my four walls; only when my Mom insisted. Even one night when they went out to dinner for their anniversary, I stayed at home in my room.

I started working on my homework when I spotted the new copy of the CD Edward gave me. I broke it into pieces. But I didn't stop there. I ripped all the pictures that I had of us together: the ones from summer at the beach house; my birthday party; and his birthday. I broke the frames they were in.

I cut my hand on the glass, but didn't even notice the pain. If felt good actually and I wondered how deep I could cut myself before it actually hurt. I was numb, my heart was gone. I left it on the dance floor that night with the boy that would hold it forever.

I wrapped my hand up when I heard my parents come home. I went down to tell them good-night. They questioned my hand but I told them I broke a picture frame and cut myself in the process.

It had been a month since the dance. I had been eating lunch with Alice. It was kind of awkward and we didn't say much. She wouldn't stop pestering me so I gave in. I gave her rules and if she broke just one, I would cut all my ties with her. The first rule was no mention of _his_ name or anything about him. Well, that was my only rule really.

"Alice, why are you not with Jasper?" I questioned.

"I broke up with him," she said in a small voice.

"Why?"

"Because he is friends with the certain someone I am not allowed to mention and I want to make sure that you knew that you were important to me," she added.

"Oh," was all I said.

"Alice, you didn't have to do that. I mean I wouldn't want you to be unhappy because of me." I added.

"Misery loves company right? Anyway, not having you in my life… that is what truly makes me unhappy. I told Jazz I needed a break. It is not forever, Bella. I need to sort out some things."

We continued eating lunch in silence.

"God, look at us Bella. I say even the losers have more friends than us, we're pathetic." We both began to chuckle and before I knew it, I was having a fit of laughter.

I didn't know what brought it all on but I couldn't stop. It was so true. No one wanted to even come near Alice nor I. We were like the plague or something; it was quite funny. I saw the Pops (Edward's gang as I called them) looking over at me, but I ignored them. I quieted my laughter as the bell rang.

Edward tried to talk to me every day in Cooking. I answered only when it had to do with school. He soon got the idea and only asked school related questions. I thought it was his way of getting me to talk to him.

Thanksgiving was quickly approaching. My parents thought it was a good idea to go to Phoenix and spend it with Billy and Jake. I couldn't have been happier.

I was packing upstairs; we were leaving in two days. I had to miss an extra day of school but I already got my work for while I was gone. I heard some talking downstairs and I stood at the top of the stairs and listened.

"All I am saying is that maybe it would be a good idea for her to talk to someone," stated the man's voice with concern.

"Don't tell me how to raise my daughter. And this coming from someone who couldn't even raise a son to have more respect for a human being. Don't tell me what my child needs!" my Dad spat at him.

"I just think that it is going to get worse before it gets better. She's been hurt not only by my son, but by what happened in Phoenix." Carlisle was here?

"Get out of my house!" my dad yelled.

When he left I came downstairs. "What did Carlisle want?" I questioned, but my Dad refused to tell me.

The next day after school I decided I would drive over to the Cullen's'. I needed to know what Carlisle and my Dad were talking about. My Dad was not going to give me answers but I knew Carlisle would.

I was finally able to purchase my car. I bought myself a Grey Volvo SUV. I started working when I got back from Phoenix at the local sporting goods store. I had a car payment and insurance to pay for.

I drove up to the Cullen's' and noticed Edward's car in the drive. I thought this should be interesting. I knocked on the door praying that Esme or Carlisle would answer. No such luck. Edward answered and his face lit up. Oh, how I missed my cupcake.

"Hi, Edward." I shuffled my feet on the ground.

"Bella, come in. How are you?" Before he could finish, I cut him off.

"Is your Dad here? I am here to see him."

His face fell and I swore I saw tears form in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'll go get him," he told me. A few minutes later Carlisle came down.

"Can I talk to you?" I looked over at Edward who was still standing there with his mouth hanging open. "…in private?" I added.

"Of course, let's go to my office." He motioned for me to follow him. I had never gone into his office before.

"What can I do for you Bella?" he questioned.

I told him that I knew he had been at my house the night before and I wanted to know what my Dad and he talked about.

He told me he went there to suggest to my Dad that maybe I needed help with dealing with everything I had been through; that what happened with Edward added to what I was already dealing with. I needed to be able to talk to someone about it and he wanted to offer a referral to a doctor.

"Bella, I know your Dad is only trying to protect you, but do you remember anything about what happened after Homecoming?" he questioned. I shook my head 'no'. I remembered bits and pieces, but not the entire thing.

"Bella, let me be honest with you- - you were shutting down. Mumbling and saying things that did not make sense. You had two traumatic incidents happen to you close together. You were mixing both of them together. I just think if you talk to someone, it might help."

"I feel empty, or maybe I don't feel at all. I don't know who I am anymore," I explained whispering, "I want to feel whole again. I want help."

He gave me a number and said I could call from his office if I liked. I did because I thought that if I didn't, I wouldn't make the call. I thought he thought the same thing because a small smile swept across his face.

I had an appointment for the Monday after Thanksgiving. I was not going to tell my parents about it though. I was 18 so they didn't need to know and I always carried my own insurance card.

I walked out of the office feeling so much better, knowing that someone was on my side, even if it was the father of the boy who had broken, but still owned my heart.

Edward was sitting on the step. What was he waiting for? Me? Carlisle? The stars to fall out of the sky? I had no idea. He stood up when I walked in. I thanked Carlisle and said good-bye to Edward.

Thanksgiving in Phoenix was warm. I was wearing shorts and a tank top. If I was in Forks right now, I think I would have had seven layers on. Jake knew something was wrong the minute he saw me, but didn't ask, not right away anyway. I didn't tell him and I hadn't even spoken to him since my birthday. I thought my parents decided to go see Billy and Jake to try and make me smile. Not even Jake could do that.

I fell asleep when I got there and I woke up in time for dinner. My Mom cooked; she was getting pretty good with her cooking classes. I helped out in the kitchen preparing stuff for the feast the next day.

I tried to keep busy as much as possible and avoided Jake. He would ask questions I didn't want to answer.

Leah came over and I hid in the bathroom for twenty minutes. It reminded me of what I had had, what I had lost and what I could never have again. I cried and I tried to get a hold of myself. My Mom came and knocked on the door. I told her to give me a few minutes; then I came out.

"Bella, are you okay? You have been off since you got here," Jake grabbed my hand and pulled me to sit by him, Leah on the other side.

"How are you and Edward doing?" Leah asked and the waterworks started.

"We're not," I said in a low voice.

"Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. Is that what's wrong?" Jake pulled me into one of his hugs that crushed my ribs.

I wondered if Leah got these hugs and if he killed her a little every time. "I don't want to talk about it," I said wiping the tears. I got up and went to my room.

Jake was going to follow me, but my Mom stopped him. "Let her be alone," I heard her tell him. Yes, just let me die in my misery.

After everyone left and the house was dark, Jake came into the room. He gave up his bed for me and used a cot on the floor. His house was so small and old I didn't know how Billy and Jake managed to live here.

"I know you are not sleeping," he informed me. I sighed and took the blanket off my face.

"What happened?" he questioned. I knew I had to tell him, but what was I going to say?

"He never loved me," I started. "It was all a lie, a bet," I told him what I had overheard and how it all came crashing down.

"You still love him." Jake stated. I gave him a wary look but Jake knew me better than anyone. I couldn't deny the truth from him.

"He owns my heart. I gave it away to him a long time ago."

"Did you…sleep with him Bella?" he asked.

"God… no! Jeez! I would have, that night, I planned on it, but it all seems silly now. It would have been just one more thing someone took from me," I said, giving him a sad smile.

Jake and I stayed up all night like we did many times before, talking about life, mainly, and how things were just so much easier when we were younger. Jake promised to come out for graduation, skipping Christmas because we were seeing each other earlier.

Thanksgiving was nice. I really wasn't in the mood to be thankful for anything and when it was my turn to say what I was thankful for, I said tissue with lotion in it.

I was being serious, for as much as I blew my nose over the past month, it was still soft and not peeling. My Mom huffed, while my Dad acted like he didn't hear anything, like usual.

We left to go back home to my relief. Something about being back in that dreary town soothed me. Maybe because it was just as miserable as I felt.

Alice came over when I got back on Sunday evening. She brought over some pictures of us. I guess she noticed that I no longer had pictures in my room. She bought cute frames that said "Best Friends" on them and laid them out all over my room.

"My Mom is coming home next Saturday," she informed me. Alice's Mom was not making good progress in the beginning - she refused to participate in any of the counseling sessions, so it made the process longer. She gave in finally and they had started their group sessions. Since she detoxed, they were allowing her to come home and do weekly sessions as an outpatient.

"We are having a welcome home party for her. I want you to come." I heard a 'but' coming.

"But… I want to let you know, The Cullens will be there, too. Not my choice; my Dad said they are like family," she added.

"I'll be there, Alice, don't worry." I could be civil to Edward, I thought.

Monday afternoon I went to see Dr. Eleazer. She had a small office located at the hospital. She knew Carlisle fairly well from what he told me and he trusted her.

I stepped into her office that held only two chairs in the reception area. The front desk clerk took my name and handed me a shitload of paper work. I gave her my insurance card; took the clipboard and pen; and started to fill out the paper work.

Once I was done, she collected my twenty-five dollar co-pay and said the doctor would be with me shortly. An hour later they called me to go back to her office.

It was nothing like I expected. No couch to lie on. No walls of books that she most likely never referred too.

It was small and had a desk that was full of files and papers and two chairs. There was a coffee pot with coffee brewing and a water cooler. The office was painted beige and, instead of florescent lights, she had lamps.

I sat in one of the chairs and waited for her to come in. There was a knock on the door and in came a short blonde woman; she had brown eyes and hair and was skinny. She had a black skirt and blouse on.

"Isabella?" she questioned.

"Bella," I corrected.

"Dr. Eleazer?"

"Please, call me Carmen. We don't need formalities."

I was nervous and she sensed it. I asked her what Carlisle had told her about me and she said nothing. She said he told her that I wanted someone to talk to and he had referred her.

"Why are you here, Bella?"

"I'm tired of people running all over me," I blurted.

"Ok, then, tell me about a typical Bella day." I thought that was an odd question. I told her what I did from the morning 'til night. School, home, make dinner sometimes these days, homework and bed.

"What is a typical Bella day like on the weekend?" she asked.

"I don't do much. I am starting a new job tomorrow so I might work on the weekend. I don't do anything as of right now," I informed her.

She asked about my parents and what they were like, if they were stern parents or flexible. I think I had one of each but my Mom was usually on my side and could always get my Dad to change his mind.

"How did you spend your weekends - six months ago?" Carmen asked.

I grumbled and she heard me, quirking an eyebrow.

"I hung out with my friends and boyfriend," I said in a small voice.

She had me tell her about what a typical Bella day was like with friends. Never once did she ask why I was not friends with them anymore or why I broke up with my boyfriend.

I thought that was odd. Before I knew it, she said the session was over but she wanted to see me back the next week. She wrote a few things down on paper which I tried to read but I couldn't because she pulled it closer to her.

"I have homework for you, though," she told me. "Get a journal and write your thoughts in it every night, and after, write one question you want me to help you answer. I'll see you next week." She smiled at me.

On Saturday I went to the Brandon's' early to help Alice set up for her Mom's welcome home.

Esme was there helping and cooking. She greeted me and hugged me, then asked me about my new job. I looked at her, questioning, when she told me that they had called her for references.

Alice's Dad went to pick up her Mom. I was just sitting in the living room when Edward came in. He hugged Alice and kissed his Mom's cheek.

I pretended not to see him. He walked over to me and lifted his hand and said "Hi". I looked at him like he had two heads, and then looked at his hand like it had a disease, withdrew it and walked away. I hadn't meant to look so disgusted, but I didn't care.

"Hey!" I called out to him and he turned around. "Look I'm sorry. I…I…I can't…sorry," I walked out. I couldn't even talk to him.

I sent Alice a text telling her I had to leave. I felt bad for leaving her like that, but it was too soon. I couldn't be in the same room as Edward.

I ran into my house and went upstairs. My Mom called to me. When I didn't answer she followed me to my room. I asked her to leave but she wouldn't.

"Maybe you should just tell his sorry ass off. You would feel better, Bella," she suggested. No wonder I was so screwed up. "I don't know what else you should do, sweetie. You don't want to move, but you are miserable and sad all the time. You need to make up your mind what you want." She patted me on the leg and left my room.

I decided that I would write in my journal for the first time.

_December 4__th__ –_

_I never really done this before and I feel kind of silly doing it now, but it's supposed to help me sort through some of the things I am feeling, I guess._

_Seeing Edward at Alice's brought back all those memories of us together. His touch, his look, that smile. A part of me wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him and never let go - tell him I love him and need him to feel whole and alive again. _

_When I saw him hold out his hand to me I felt like he had slapped me in the face. Was he serious? He only wanted to shake my hand? So I ignored him and I knew that look, I hurt him. It was not something I wanted to do. _

_No matter how much he hurt me, I didn't want for him to hurt. I wanted to go home and cry and scream and I wanted my Mom to tell me it would be alright, that she understood and was there for me, but when have my parents ever been there for me? _

_Suck it up or run - those are my only two options. My parents never stood up for me or stood by me, I was alone. Always have been, always will._

On the following page I contemplated my question. What did I want Carmen to help me to understand?

_**Why did my parents not protect me?**_

A/N: Let the healing begin. First off I want to say that I have no experience as a therapist, this is a work of fiction. Any advice Carmen gives Bella is my own way of dealing with things. She is finally getting the help she needs and hopefully lead her back to where she belongs…in Edward's arms of course.

Please, please, please review and let me know what you think.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading, sorry for all the tears. It will get better soon. As always a special thank you to crazierthanu for the laughs, tears, the late-night talks, the early morning coffees, the g-chats and the DM's. There is never a dull moment. Thank you for sharing this journey with me and most of all for knowing everything about me and loving me anyway. With that said, I'm going to go and sit in the corner and cry.


	22. Chapter 22: Holidays

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, neither is Edward *sigh*

Huh, for once I have nothing to say, so on with the chapter…

**Chapter 22 BPOV**

**Holidays**

School was getting easier and I was no longer panicked when I saw Edward or spoke to him. We were not friends but not enemies either. Acquaintances? Not even that. I am not sure what they would call us.

It was the last day of school before Christmas break. I was not looking forward to spending the time off from school. Good thing the sporting goods store was busy this time of year and I was able to pick up a few extra hours.

My sessions with Carmen were slow. She said she wouldn't push after the second time I went in there and panicked right in her office. She prescribed some meds to help with the panic attacks but it didn't stop them altogether. The panic showed up at odd times and I realized it was not all Edward related. As a matter of fact, it was rarely Edward related.

After I wrote that first question about my parents not protecting me, it opened a whole can of worms I was not ready to deal with. I got mad and frustrated with Carmen; even told her I wasn't going back.

She asked things about my parents. Why I cooked? If it was my choice to move? If I was given the chance to make the decision, what would I have done?

She told me my parents were selfish and what the best thing for them to do was at the time. Leaving Phoenix was not the answer; them going to the school and demanding answers would have been. Why did the school allow pictures of me to be placed all over the campus? I argued with her, trying to defend them. They did what they thought was best.

"Best for who, Bella? He was up for a promotion. Don't you think he would have been ridiculed for having a daughter who slept around and was drunk every weekend?"

"But I didn't," I rebutted.

"I know but even you said it was not easy to prove. He did what he thought was an easy way out - move to a small town and become Chief."

"That's not fair - you don't even know them. How dare you?" I yelled at her.

"Bella, I am on your side - but I am going to tell you like it is - you know that. I believe that some of this is because you felt like you were alone and unprotected. When Victoria brought you home drunk, night after night, a good mother would have questioned you. You should have been grounded and made to take responsibilities for your actions," she said sternly.

I closed up after that. I knew what she was saying was true and that was exactly like I felt, but I still was not ready to hear it.

I was on my way to see her - I was dreading it. I always did. I hadn't written in the journal as much as I did when I first started, a month ago. I always wrote my question down though. This week's question was about Edward. I hadn't brought him up and she still didn't know what happened between us, except for the fact that we were no longer together.

"Hello, Bella, Merry Christmas. How are you? You asked for a special session today. What has you so anxious?"

"I've had this question in my head and I haven't been able to come up with an answer or even to write it in the journal. I guess I have two weeks off and I won't see him." I said in a low voice.

"What is the question, Bella?" Carmen asked.

"Why did I allow Edward to break my heart?"

I told Carmen everything and with it came a wave of anxiety and hyperventilation. I cried, more than I had cried about it before. I told her it was the hardest thing to let go. I could let what happened in Phoenix go, I could let my parents not protecting me go, but when it came to what Edward did, I couldn't.

"Tell me about him, all the positive things," Carmen instructed me.

So I told her. He was caring and always stuck up for his friends; he had a best friend named Alice, ever since they were like 7 or something. He loved cupcakes and didn't like to share. I didn't consider that being a negative, I considered that being Edward.

He gets along with his parents. He is ambitious and wants to be a doctor; he composes music and wrote me a song. He protected me when I thought only he could. He talked me down from the ledge when I ran into Victoria. He never pushed me to do things, but was proud when I accomplished something. He laughed at my jokes even when they were not funny. His touch soothed me; he brought an electric current with him that sparked my heart and soul. He loved me.

The last part slipped out and I was stunned by the words. How could he love me?

"Now tell me about his negative," she whispered. I was still stunned by the revelation that he loved me; that some part of him thought I was good enough to love and I saw it every time he looked into my eyes.

"Bella?" she asked again.

"Oh, right, the negative." I thought about it, there was nothing about him that was negative.

"He lied to me," I huffed. Just one little thing that destroyed all the good.

"You still love him." It was a statement, not a question.

"But I feel that sometimes love is not enough. Is there enough love there to get past this? To let him in again? Carmen , he owns my heart. I feel empty and alone without him, but my head will not allow forgiveness."

"Maybe not now Bella, but it can, if you want it to." She wrote on her paper then continued, "I want you to write a letter to Edward. You don't have to give it to him, if you don't want, but I want you to write to him and tell him how you feel. Hold nothing back. The pain, the anger, the love. He needs to see it for himself."

My time was up. It would be three weeks before I would be back to see Carmen. She said I could call her if I needed her. She was going out of town, but assured me she was available by phone.

Christmas was boring and I spent most of it at work. Mike's parents owned the store and he always worked with me. I think he scheduled his time to work when I did. Every day he would ask if I wanted to go out to a movie or something and every time I would decline. He was nice about it, though. I didn't know if he thought I would change my mind or whatever, but he always smiled, shook his head and started talking about something else.

My parents were invited to a New Year's Eve party and tried to convince me to go along. Alice even tried to talk me into going over to her house but I just wanted to stay home, maybe get that letter written to Edward. I heard through the grapevine that Edward and his parents went to California for the holidays. If I could write it, maybe I could put it in his mailbox before he got home.

I watched the ball drop from Times Square on TV and listened to some music on my I-pod. I started the letter to Edward and when I was done, put it in the envelope and cried. I decided, right then and there, that was the last time I was going to shed tears for Edward Cullen.

I was closing that chapter of my life. Maybe that was why Carmen asked me to write it; to put him behind me, so I could move on.

I was in the middle of going to the bathroom when the lights flickered and then went off completely. Great, just what I needed. I felt my way back to my bed and grabbed my cell phone to give me some light. I had to find a flashlight.

I used my cell to go downstairs and found the flashlight in the kitchen. A tap on the window startled me and I thought I heard the door shake. It was windy, though, and raining. I hurried back upstairs and into my bed.

"Bella? What were you doing?" my Dad asked me.

What are you talking about, Dad? What time is it?" I asked still half asleep.

"It's 2:30 a.m., but why did you turn off the lights?" he questioned me.

"I didn't turn off the lights, Dad. The wind and rain must have made the power go out," I informed him.

"Bella, when we got home the fuse box was open and the power to the house was turned off," he told me.

"Someone turned it off?" I questioned. Who would do that?

"Probably some kids pulling pranks. Go back to sleep."

New Year's Day I woke up early; got dressed and made my way down to Edward's house. No cars were in the driveway and it looked empty. I got out of my car and put the letter through the mail slot. There was no turning back now.

I went back home and sat on my bed, staring at the little silver bow on my dresser. It was stupid and I didn't know why I even bought it, but when I saw it, it screamed Edward to me. It was way too expensive and if Edward and I were still together, he would have given me grief about buying something so expensive for him.

I was shopping with Alice a few weeks ago. I needed to buy something for my parents and it was almost Christmas.

Alice talked me into going into the jewelry store because she loved to look at engagement rings - she was so silly. Jasper and her had gotten back together the week before and she had been talking about marrying him ever since.

As I was browsing around, I spotted a necklace with some sort of symbol on it. It was silver and it had a small rope chain. The medallion had a saying on the bottom **omnia vincit amor - **_Love conquers all_,translated. It was beautiful and perfect for Edward. Maybe one day we would be in a place where I would be able to give it to him.

I took the box off my dresser and placed it in my drawer. I went downstairs to make some lunch. My parents were still sleeping. My Mom would probably have a hangover when she woke up.

Around dinner time my parents finally came out of their room and joined the world. I made dinner and sat down with them.

"How was your night, sweetie?" my Mom asked. I shrugged. I was home, alone, on New Year's Eve, how did she think it went?

"You should get out more, have fun," she suggested.

"I would if I didn't always have to be the responsible one," I spat. Did she really want to do this now?

"Isabella Marie Swan!" My Dad came in the kitchen holding some bills in his hand. "Would you like to explain the statement from Dr. Carmen Eleazar?" he questioned.

"I've been seeing her for almost two months…she is helping me get through some things," I informed him. My Mom looked puzzled.

"Bella's been seeing a shrink!" He motioned toward me with his hand which held the papers.

"So what if I have? I have been feeling so alone and helpless and your solution for all this is to run. I am tired of running. I am tired of feeling my life is out of control. I am going to be going away to college. What if something happens to me? I don't know how to deal with my problems; all I know how to do is run because that is what you taught me. Why didn't you protect me in Phoenix? Why didn't you believe me when I first called you and told you what happened?" I was mad, frustrated and angry.

Tears were falling from my eyes and I had to let it out. "Do you know what it is like to wake up and not know where you are, what happened to you, or if you are still a virgin?" I screamed.

"I don't regret moving, it was probably one of the best things we did. I found Edward. But maybe - just maybe - if I was able to deal with what happened in Phoenix before now, I would have been able to forgive Edward. But now, it is not even possible because I feel so betrayed by the people I love - the people who love me or who I thought loved me. I needed protection, Mom, not from just Victoria, but from myself and you didn't guide me. You thought kids will be kids and explore, but I was going downhill and fast."

My parents were speechless. Even my Mom, for once in her life, didn't have a comeback.

"Honey," she wrapped her arms around me. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I have been a terrible mother. I'm sorry you had to deal with so much on your own," my Mom cried.

I cried in my Mom's arms for hours. I felt a big relief lifted off my shoulders. I told my parents how I felt and if nothing changed, at least I knew they knew my feelings.

School was back in session and I felt better than I had in months.

New year; new me.

I was ready. So with my head held high, new car in tow and a few new outfits, I was ready to get on with my life.

I met Alice by my car; she had been getting rides from Jasper while we did not see each other during the break.

"Bella, you're looking good this morning." She nudged my arm. "And is that a smile I see on your face? What gives?" she asked.

"I don't know, I just feel it is a new start, you know? I feel good, for once - it's been months," I informed her.

I threw myself into my school work, not that I hadn't before, but more so now. I did a few extra credit projects, even though I didn't need to. My GPA remained 4.0.

I continued working at the sporting goods store and actually became friends with Mike. He wasn't so bad, once you got to know him. He dated Jessica once and we laughed our asses off over lunch one Saturday. Jessica must be the biggest flake to walk the earth. He sat with Alice and me during lunch once in awhile. Alice didn't like it very much, but accepted it because I asked her to.

Alice and Edward made up when he returned from California. I knew it was bound to happen and I was happy for her. She missed her best friend. She didn't mention him after that nor did she mention anything about the letter I gave him, so maybe he didn't tell her.

I still saw him every day in English and Cooking, but rarely spoke to him. He would give a smile or I would, but nothing else. Alice invited me to go with her to see a game. I asked if we could sit in the back; I didn't want Edward to notice that I was there. It was only a practice game and they won. He looked good and I left before they were off the field.

A/N: So Bella is moving on and getting the help she needs. I'm so proud of her. Not much has been said about Edward, but do not fear, his POV is the next chapter, and yes, we will find out what Bella wrote in the letter.

Thank to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and forcing me to tell her what happens because she cannot wait for me to get the chapters to her. Thanks to crazierthanu for…just about everything.

Please leave a review I love to hear what you have to say.


	23. Chapter 23: Lost Soul

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine, just like to cause some drama with its characters. This is an EPOV and he takes you back to the night of the dance…so here you go.

**Chapter 23 EPOV**

**Lost Soul**

The envelope taunted me. When I got home from Christmas break, I was exhausted. Well, I hadn't really slept in several months. It was so bad for a while that my Dad started giving me something to help me to sleep because I just couldn't relax enough to find it on my own.

When I unlocked the door I kicked something; it was an envelope addressed to me. I recognized the writing right away, it was from Bella.

I picked it up before my parents saw it and put it in my bag before I went upstairs. Once I got into my room I pulled it out, but I couldn't find it in me to open it. What was she going to tell me? That she hated me? Never wants to see me again? I couldn't open it, so I placed it in my sock drawer and left it.

The dance started out as the best night of my life. My girl looked beautiful, not that she didn't any other day, but that night she looked even more so. After dancing to 'This I Promise You', it all went downhill - one misunderstanding after another. First, Emmett had to open his big mouth in front of Rose, then Rose had to open her big mouth in front of Bella.

Bella didn't even give me a chance to explain; never, not once. I still hadn't had my chance. I tried to find her after the dance but, she had left, and walked to the library, I found out later.

My Dad called me saying I needed to get my ass home. I knew he knew something, but what he knew was the question.

My Mom had sympathy on me knowing I could never be as mean as it looked like I was being. My Dad was downright pissed at me and I thought he was ready to disown me - shouting at me, asking me how I could blatantly disregard someone's feelings. He continued, saying that he raised me better than that and that he had never been as ashamed of me as he was at that moment. I explained to him that my relationship with Bella had started off as a bet, but I didn't go through with it. I couldn't; I loved her.

"That's not the point, Edward," he expressed to me. "The fact that you even agreed to it, in the first place, is what is wrong. Whether you fell in love with her or not, that was her heart you were playing with," he added. When he put it that way, I saw his point. But it didn't matter now, she hated me.

"I didn't mean to hurt her," I said in a whisper.

"Damn it, Edward, do you have any idea what you put that girl through? I should have come and got you when your Mom found her. She called me because Bella was so out of it that she didn't even know where she was or who was with her. Maybe then you could have seen just what you had done to her. I had to sedate her, Edward; when she got home, she couldn't stop crying or shaking. You know what the worst part was? Her parents didn't even want to take her to the hospital when I suggested it." He shook his head. I had never seen my Dad so upset. I failed him; he hated me, just like she hated me.

I had always felt content in my life. I had two parents who loved me, never pushed me to do anything I didn't want to do; only encouraged me to do the things I enjoyed doing. I was happy and even though I never had a girlfriend before, I didn't care either way - if I did or didn't - until I met Bella.

I was better because of Bella. I felt alive when I was with her. There was this energy between us that no one else got. It was her and me, in our own bubble. The world could have fallen apart around us and we wouldn't have noticed. Seven months…seven months of happiness, shattered in seconds.

I left my heart and soul with her that day on the dance floor. I am nothing without her and there would never be anyone else out there for me.

I tried texting and calling her, though not in a crazy stalker-ish way like I had before, that would just have been wrong. I did call and ask her to let me explain; I texted her, asking her if she would call me. She never did.

I was hopeful that I would see her at school, but during the week that followed, she didn't attend, which scared me more than anything. I thought maybe her parents would move again.

When she did show up, the following week, she looked like shit. Beautiful, but I knew her well enough to know that she was miserable and hurting, just as much as I was. I wanted to go to her the moment I saw her standing in the parking lot, but Emmett caught my arm and wouldn't let me. He said he would beat the shit out of me if I even tried to talk to her; she needed some space.

I knew she wasn't talking to Alice either, and Alice was not talking to me. I had not only lost my girl that night, but also my best friend. Alice thought that I had befriended her because I had pity on her, which was absurd. I never saw Alice as anything but my equal. Being popular was never important to me, but other people thought it was important to me; that made me upset. Did they not know me at all?

I tried to talk to her when she came to class that first day; the first time I actually saw her since the dance. She looked pale and had dark circles under her eyes, like she hadn't slept all week. She looked thinner, too. Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy pony-tail and she didn't even bother to put on make-up, not that she wore a lot to begin with.

I almost lost it that day she showed up at my house. I didn't expect it to be her when there was a knock on the door. I thought she was there to tell me she forgave me and wanted me back, but I was crushed when she asked for my Dad. I had to look away because the tears were ready to fall from my eyes.

My Dad never told me why she came by to talk to him. I asked, but he said it was between him and Bella. Was she seeing him as her doctor?

My Mom forced me to go to Alice's when her Mom came back home. I was glad I went because Bella was there, but I ruined it when I tried to talk to her and she had left. Alice just shook her head at me and walked away.

I knew she was working at that sporting goods store with that Mike Newton guy. Was I jealous? Hell, yeah. Could I do anything about it? Hell, no!

It frustrated me because I saw her day after day sit with Mike at lunch - laughing and talking. Sometimes Alice joined them and that made me happy to see her there. I don't think Bella would ever go out with a guy like Mike, but seeing them together - smiling and laughing - was like a knife jabbing in me.

There was a knock on the door and my mom called to me.

"What is it Mom, I'm tired?" I yelled down.

"Someone is here to see you," she yelled back at me.

I walked down the stairs and Alice was standing in the hallway.

"Hey," she said.

"Hey" I replied.

"Can we talk?"

I motioned for her to follow me to my room. I sat down on my black sofa and she plopped herself on my bed, just like old times.

"I miss my friend," she said in a small voice. I honestly thought she was there to kick my ass or at least tell me off, so I was caught off guard by what she said. I ran over to her and hugged her. I had missed my friend so much. She giggled and hugged me back.

She said she still had some reservations about me but was willing to try our friendship again. She never mentioned Bella and I was thankful. I didn't want to think about her any more.

When school started back up, Bella looked different. The same, but better, I guess. She had a new car - the car I wanted, as a matter of fact. I was almost jealous, like she had bought it just to rub it in my face.

She also had new clothes. She was laughing and smiling a lot more than before and she even smiled at me a few times. Not sure what was bringing all of this on, but I was grateful.

Valentine's Day sucked. I pulled out the letter Bella gave me and turned it over a few times in my hand. I did this about once a week, but never opened it. I placed it back into my drawer when I heard a knock on the door.

It was Jasper and I was going with him to pick out something for Alice. He said he needed my expertise on this. We went into an Irish Folk store and he found a Claddagh ring to give her. I thought it was kind of cute and that Alice would love it because it would symbolize their love or something; she was all for that kind of crap.

I was feeling really down because I wished I had someone to love, well to love me, but that was not going to happen. Jasper actually offered to fix me up with someone and I almost punched him. I didn't think he would be bringing that up again.

I was actually just looking around the store; they had some interesting things, when I spotted a bracelet. It was called a Celtic Love Knot bracelet and under it had the meaning, "_Two souls brought together with an endless circle_".

I didn't know how long I stared at it but I felt like I had to buy it, for who I didn't know. Well maybe I did know, but didn't want to admit it. I grabbed it and paid for it on the other side of the store while Jasper bought his stuff. I met him outside so we could leave.

I went to school the Monday after Valentine's Day and had to listen to everyone talk about what a wonderful time they had.

"What has your panties in a twist, Eddie boy?" Emmett asked during lunch.

"I'm just sick and tired of everyone talking about what a wonderful Valentine's Day they had, okay?" I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, man, I told you that I would fix you up with that Angela chick, but you didn't want it." He hit my arm.

"She works with my Mom," I reminded him.

"You didn't have a problem with it before," Emmett replied.

I glared at him. "Well, maybe I give a shit now," I spat. I got up and walked outside. I went to that little place on the other side of the parking lot. It reminds me of Bella, it was our place, no one ever came here.

The bell rang after that and I walked off to class, still pissed as ever. I didn't even bother going to my locker and dropped of my books before going to Cooking. I slammed my books down on the counter, startling the pretty girl next to me.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked, looking at me concerned.

"Huh? Oh yeah, whatever," I answered. I was being rude to her. "If I hear someone mention Valentine's Day once more…" I let the statement hang.

"I know," she snorted. "If Alice tells me again about how Jasper gave her the Claddagh ring and how romantic it was, I think I am going to shove it up her ass!" Bella chuckled.

"Angry much?" I asked, laughing with her.

"I know!" She let the chuckle die down.

That was the most I had talked to her in months.

"You look good," I commented, before I registered what I was saying.

"Uh... thanks." She blushed. God, I missed her. We worked side by side on our crème brulees. Bella botched hers, but mine turned out perfect, if I did say so myself.

"Wanna share?" I asked her when she threw hers away.

She grabbed a fork and took a bite; she hummed and nodded. After, she forked it again and brought it to my mouth. I opened and took the bite, never taking my eyes off of her.

The bell rang and she walked out. I went to go after her, because well, that was the most we had talked since October. I was hoping it meant something, maybe we could have something again.

I called after her but she just waved her hand at me and kept walking. I felt worse than I had before because it left me kind of confused. I left school after that, even though I still had two periods left.

I went home; no one else was home. I went to my room and closed the door. I opened my sock drawer and got the letter out. I open it and started reading.

_December 31_

_Dear Edward, _

_It was suggested that I write a letter to you, letting you know how I feel. I also wanted to tell you how silly I think writing it actually is. I decided to do it anyway because I have a lot of things in my head that I want to say and saying them to you in person just isn't something I think I can do. I was told to tell you about the hurt, anger and love I feel towards you. So that is what I am going to do._

_Hurt – As you probably already, know. You hurt me beyond what any words I could express. I trusted you and had faith in you, that you honestly cared for me and you would never purposely hurt me. And I see things a lot clearer now, I know it was never intentional and that 'the bet' was called off well before we dated seriously, but it does not change the fact that in the beginning that was your intention. It doesn't change the fact that I was hurt in the process. I let you in and revealed my true self to you. All my fears, all my secrets - you knew them. I trusted you and it hurt me to know you lied to me._

_Anger – I tried to be angry with you. I even tried to hate you because I think it would have been a lot easier for me. But what I came to realize was that it was not you I was angry with, but my parents; what happened in Phoenix; and the situation. It was never you and I am sorry I never gave you the opportunity to explain your side of the story. It's too late for that now, but I am sorry._

_Love – I saved this for last because I think it is the hardest. After all the hurt and anger, the one thing I realized is that I still love you. I never understood when someone said that their heart was broken into a million pieces. Not until that night anyway. I left my heart with you, shattered on the dance floor. I am unable to pick up the pieces right now so I want to let you know that it is ok to move on. Don't waste your time waiting for me because I don't know if I will ever be in a place to be in a relationship again. You deserve to be able to love someone. It never made any sense for you to love me. I am just a plain, insignificant little girl with nothing to offer you. Not someone who is as beautiful and brilliant as you. You need to love someone who is your equal. Don't worry about me; I know you have, I see it on your face every day. I don't want to see that face any more. You need to enjoy your life, not worry about a broken little girl. This is not a goodbye, maybe a 'see you later' as I hope that one day we both can be in a place to be friends. I miss your smile and I hope to see more of it in the future._

_Bella_

Tears were falling down my face. I didn't even realize I was crying. After everything that happened today, I thought we were moving in a good direction, but I was mistaken. She was just trying to be friendly to me, not want me back. Did she not know anything? Did she not realize that I wouldn't ever be able to move on? She said she left her heart on the dance floor; well, I left my heart and soul with her.

I was finding it hard to breathe and I needed to get up off my floor. I was not sure how long I was there, sitting with the letter in my hand. My Mom came up to check on me, but I didn't even answer when she called out my name.

"Edward, what's wrong?" My Mom asked, kneeling down beside me.

"I ruined everything. She is not going to take me back, Mom," I cried.

"Oh, Baby, what do you have there?" She reached for the letter and started reading. "I'm sorry Edward, come on, Baby, get up." She tried to comfort me.

I vaguely remembered my Mom walking me to my bed and my Dad coming in to ask what was wrong. She explained everything to him.

"I figured it would happen sooner or later. Bella didn't deal with it when it happened. The letter is probably part of her therapy," he commented.

"You helped her with this? That is why she came to you all those months ago?" I yelled at my Dad.

"Edward, I talked her into going to therapy. She needed help with dealing with everything," my Dad tried to explain.

"How can you do this to me?" I questioned.

"Edward, she is in the process of healing, don't make this about you. If you truly love her, let her go." My Dad patted my shoulder. I couldn't let it go - let her go - ever.

Monday ended good with Bella and I sharing in Cooking; Tuesday was a different story. I was conflicted with the fact that I had read the letter. I knew it had been months since she gave it to me, but now that I knew how she felt, would I be able to continue like nothing had happened?

I met Emmett at the lunch table; I really didn't feel like eating so I just sat there.

"Hey, Edward, I want to tell you before you hear about it from someone else, unless you already have, but seeing how you are just sitting here, I doubt that you have," Emmett rambled.

"Just spit it out, Em." I wasn't in the mood for his rambling.

"Bella went on a date over the weekend, some guy from La Push. God, what was his name?" he pondered.

"Does it matter?" I asked.

"That she went out or what the guy's name is?" God I wanted to hit him upside the head. I must have given him a look because he continued.

"Well, anyway, I guess Bella has been volunteering at the women's shelter in Hoquiam. That is where they met and someone saw them together. That's all I know."

"Who saw them?" I asked. I needed to know if it was a reliable source.

"Oh, Angela told Eric, and Eric told Tyler, who told me. They just didn't want you to find out at the game or something, and lose, I guess," he added.

Great, put the pressure all on me about the game. We just started practices again and the team already had fears I was going to blow it.

Bella might be able to move on, but I never would and I would fight for what I believe is mine.

A/N: So Edward finally read the letter. He is suffering just as much as Bella. Will these two ever be able to get on with their life? The letter was the hardest thing I ever wrote.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for beta'ing. Love you both!


	24. Chapter 24: Keeping Busy

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine and I am still playing with the characters.

Bella continues where she left off…things are going to start moving forward again. Let's hope in the right direction.

**Chapter 24 BPOV**

**Keeping Busy**

"He pulled the pink box out and it had a little card he had made himself, it was so cute, Bella, are you listening to me?" Alice asked as she described her Valentine's Day to me, in person. Last night she called and told me all about it over the phone.

"I opened the box and pulled out the Claddagh ring. He took it from me and explained the significance to me. He put it on my right hand and turned the heart in, showing I am taken. He kissed my hand. We had the best make out session. Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes, Alice, it is. That was so thoughtful of him." I knew it came out kind of condescending. "Alice, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

After lunch I went to Cooking and I was so sick and tired of all this Valentine's Day talk. You know where I spent my Valentine's Day? At a women's shelter.

About a month ago I was online trying to find a place to volunteer. I was bored and needed something to do and volunteerism looked good on a college application, so I found a women's shelter that was looking for volunteers in Hoquiam. There were about 3 volunteers that went there once a week.

The first time I went, they asked me to clean the restrooms; I swore I wouldn't go back. The following week someone from the shelter called my house and asked if I would be able to go to La Push to pick up some blankets that were donated. I did and decided that it wasn't that bad, so I continued going.

Then on Valentine's Day they asked me if I could go pick up food, but since I was not familiar with the reservation and needed a truck, I asked another volunteer, Embry, if he would take me.

As I was walking out I saw Angela coming in with some books. I heard her say that the library donated them. I gave her a wave and left with Embry.

I didn't even notice Edward coming and sitting next to me until he huffed and threw his books on the table.

We shared our distaste for Valentine's Day and even laughed. It felt good, natural. I wished all my encounters with Edward were like that. The teacher started talking about what we were making - crème brulee.

I didn't know what happened. I was not paying attention, I guess, but mine did not turn out. The middle sank and when I went to use the blow torch, it burnt. Edward offered to share his and I took a fork and tasted it. His was delicious, so I took the fork again and offered a bite to Edward.

That was dangerous and I was messing with fire. I should have not done that - it was like I was flirting - but our conversation was going so well. Maybe I was flirting. As soon as the bell rang I needed to get out of there, so I almost ran out the door. I heard Edward call me from behind but I just waved him off.

Friends, we are supposed to try and be friends, nothing more. Good thing I was going to see Carmen that afternoon; I felt confused.

My parents joined me when I saw Carmen. I started to go twice a month unless I needed a special session which hadn't been for a while. Thirty minutes was family therapy and then I got individual therapy.

I was meeting my parents there. Carmen had given each of them homework when we all first started and believe me it was not any easier for my parents.

Carmen made them realize that they depended on me too much and expected me to make adult decisions when, in fact, I was not an adult.

There was a lot of yelling and crying the first few meetings. Then she gave out homework. My Mom and I were to cook together, since she was not a great cook and needed help. I was to help her along the way; she continued with the cooking classes.

Carmen also told her that she had to choose one of the projects she had started and go through with it to the end. She would complete her pottery class in three weeks and I couldn't have been more proud. She even made a few pots that we put plants in.

My Dad was a lot harder. He needed to learn to communicate more with me and show affection. One of the things I discovered was that I knew my Dad loved me, but never felt it, if that made any sense. So Carmen handed him post-its and told him if he was not able to express his feelings in person, he could post them.

The first time I found one from him was in the bathroom, when I woke up after having one of my panic attacks.

_**Hope your day is a lot better than yesterday. Love Dad **_

Yes, he put a smiley face.

"So how is everyone today? Let's start with what we have been working on. How is the homework coming along?" She always asked that first.

"I'm almost done with my pottery class and I made something for you. I will bring it next time," my mom said excitedly. "I'm cooking more on my own; I have Bella's help three days a week," she added proudly.

"My Dad came into my room and said he was proud of me for my grades."

"Bella, that was mine to share," my Dad whined. We all laughed.

"I was proud of you for telling me in person and not with a note, that's all," I informed him.

"What about you, Bella, how are things with Edward?" Carmen asked.

"Umm…I want to talk to you about that in private." I bit my lip, not that I cared if my parents knew. It was just that I always talked to her about Edward in private.

I probably obsessed about him, but she always let me go on and on about him. I told her how I thought he hadn't read the letter and it worried me; how he looked tired and I could tell he wasn't sleeping.

The time was up with my parents so they left and Carmen and I got down to my routine. I brought in my journal and I now shared about what I wrote. We had come a long way since that first meeting when I didn't want to share anything.

"So, what do you have for me this week?" she asked.

I wrote about Valentine's Day. I felt lonely and wished Edward and I were together.

"I don't know Carmen… I was just depressed, I guess. I wrote an entire story about what we would do on a date. That's stupid, huh?"

"Bella, you know I told you that you can write anything in your journal. It doesn't always have to be about you and how you feel. You've written other stories that were quite… well, you know how I feel about them."

"I know, but this one was about Edward and me," I said shyly.

"Weren't they all about you and Edward?" She raised her eyebrow at me. I just blushed and tried to change the subject.

I started writing short stories in my journal when I didn't have anything I really wanted to talk about. They were always about Edward but I changed his name. I had no idea she knew.

"Anyway, what I wanted to talk to you about was that I talked to Edward and it was more than just a 'hi'. He came into Cooking and was upset, so I asked what was wrong. He had a bad Valentine's Day too and we laughed about it; then we cooked and mine turned out terrible. I was embarrassed but Edward offered to share with me. I took the fork and took a bite then I offered one to him. I was… flirting. I knew I was, and I felt bad after because I didn't mean to lead him on or anything. I left in a hurry because I didn't want him to call me on it. He ran after me but I just held up my hand and kept walking; I didn't even turn around, I felt bad. Then today, it was kind of awkward. I avoided him, but then felt guilty about that. I just… I want to be friends but where or how do I draw a line?"

"That is going to be hard, Bella, because your emotions are always going to show. You love him and he obviously loves you. You say you are not ready, but you need to ask yourself if maybe you are; is it impossible to be just friends? Why don't you just try and go out together, see what happens? Sometimes you need to take chances. Sometimes you'll win and sometimes you won't - but at least you tried," she suggested to me.

The session was over and I met my parents in the lobby. We usually ate at the diner after a session because it was too late by the time we would get back home to start cooking.

After dinner, it was late, so I went straight to bed. I thought about what Carmen had said but I just didn't know if I was able to ask Edward out on a date. If he asked me, there would be no way for me to say 'no'. I fell asleep that night and awoke to my phone ringing in the early morning. I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I answered, my voice hoarse from sleep.

"Is this Isabella Swan?" the voice said on the other end.

"Yes, who is this?" I questioned. The line went dead.

That was odd, maybe the call was dropped. It was 4:30 am.. I waited up for a while to see if they would call back, but they never did.

Spring Break was coming up and all the seniors were buzzing about their trip to England. I had to rush a passport because I was so preoccupied about everything else I had forgotten to apply. I had to spend an extra one hundred dollars to get it in time for the trip. I guess I had procrastinated because I wasn't sure if I really wanted to go.

It would be seven days, with people that maybe I didn't want to spend seven days with. Alice and I had made an agreement with Mrs. Makenna that I would go if I could be guaranteed to room with her. She agreed, only if I would write an article for the school paper when we returned - I agreed.

Alice and I were going shopping over the weekend, and she was spending the night.

"Rose asked if she could go shopping with us," Alice asked me after school on Friday.

She had been trying to force me to talk to Rose for a few weeks now, but I just wasn't ready. It was hard enough that I was trying to figure out what kind of relationship I could have with Edward.

"I can't, Alice, not now. I know I sound like a whiny bitch that can't forgive and forget but, I just can't right now. I'm working on it - but not now." I let out a breath I was holding.

"I understand, Bella, it's just that Rose is kind of hurt that she got the shitty end of the deal because of Em, and well, he is paying the price for it too," she giggled. It made me wonder just what Rose did to him, but I didn't ask.

Alice, as usual, was calling me at 6 a.m. to go pick her up because we had to get the shopping thing going if we only wanted to shop the one day. I called her back and told her I would be there in about a half an hour. I grabbed some coffee, went to the car and started it, waiting until it was warmed up, then made my way to Alice's house.

Alice didn't even let me get into the driveway before she came running outside. She got into the car before it even stopped and smiled at me. I just shook my head, turned around and headed toward Port Angeles.

We arrived at the mall as it opened. I wondered what I was going to buy for my trip to England. I heard the weather was still cold this time of year and foggy, but not so much rain, thank God.

Alice and I went into each store they had and came out with bags from each stop. I was getting hungry; it was close to lunch time. I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch at the food court.

"I have to quit my job, Alice. They wouldn't give me the time off to go on the trip," I informed her. I didn't mind though. I talked to Esme and asked if I could get a job back at the library until the end of the school year. She was excited, and said I could start the week after I returned from the trip.

"You liked working at the library, right?" Alice questioned.

"Of course I did, but you know I don't want it to be awkward with Edward or Esme."

"Hey, Alice, Bella. I forgot Alice said you two were coming up here," Jasper said in a low voice.

"Sure you did." I looked at Alice with a look of frustration; knowing she'd pulled one over on me. Edward was standing beside him.

"Hi, Bella, Alice," Edward said in a low voice.

"Hi, Edward. Would you guys like to join us for lunch?" I could do this, couldn't I?

Lunch was awkward. No one conversed and I couldn't take it anymore. I was starting to breathe heavily and I needed to get out of there. I excused myself to go to the restroom and stayed in there until my breathing returned to normal.

When I came out the three of them were talking and laughing. I finished my salad and this time the conversation was a lot easier, using the techniques Carmen taught me about relaxing.

We talked about the trip and what we were looking forward to. We also talked about graduation and looking forward to hearing back from the colleges we had applied to.

"I heard you are writing an article about the trip for the newspaper when we return," Edward commented.

"Yeah, don't know how I was suckered into that." I chuckled.

"You know you can be a push-over Bella," Edward commented. A push-over? What does he mean?

"I don't think I am a push-over. I made a deal with Mrs. Makenna that I would write it in exchange for sharing a room with Alice." I informed him. I really didn't want to get into it with Edward.

"You do know that the chances you had a room with Alice was likely since they asked who we wanted to share with," he added.

"I just was making sure that's all, and why do you care anyway?" I was getting mad - 'count to ten, Bella'.

"I didn't mean anything by it. God, Bella, you are just as stubborn as ever," he chuckled.

"I… I am stubborn," I laughed no longer mad. Before I knew it, everyone was laughing.

Alice and I said 'goodbye' and made our way back home.

"You set that up, Mary Alice," I declared.

"Why, Isabella Swan, whatever gave you that idea?" She mocked me. I just rolled my eyes at her.

The next week went by fast. Always when you need time to stop, it seemed to go by faster.

I was asked to volunteer at the women's shelter and pick up some supplies again. I also worked all week at the sporting goods store with Mike. He never shut up and it made the time there drag on. On most nights I did not get home until after ten. Then I had to finish up on homework, and try to get a few hours of sleep.

On one particular night I thought I was being followed home. I didn't know why I had that feeling. I pulled out of the women's shelter and was heading home when a car pulled up right behind me. I continued to make my trip home and with each turn, the car followed me. I was getting ready to call my Dad when I finally got into my neighborhood; I made a right, and the car went straight. I was just being paranoid, I guessed.

I went to bed as soon as I got home only to be woken by a nightmare, which I had not had in a long while. I was panting and thirsty, and needed to get up and get some water.

It was another dream where it fused everything together. Victoria was there getting me drunk; Edward was there telling me it was too late for him to help me, even though I begged him to. This time James was there and he was pulling me towards him; Edward just got up and left, saying I had wasted too much of his time as it was.

I hated these dreams. Sometimes I felt like they were foretelling of something that was going to happen. I just didn't know what.

A/N: So a trip to England is on the horizon - actually the next chapter. Bella is finally healing and growing. Let's hope these two can at least become friends again.

Thanks to Lady Tazz as always for having faith in me and crazierthanu for always making everything flow so much easier. Love you ladies.

Ok, so what do you think? I would love to hear from you.


	25. Chapter 25: England

**Disclaimer: **Twilight is not mine I just wish Cupcake was. This is a short transitional chapter… enjoy!

**Chapter 25 BPOV**

**England**

My Mom was waiting with me at the airport, crying. My Dad was there too, trying to comfort her. She acted like I was going away and never coming back.

I hated to think what she was going to do when I went away to college. I thought she couldn't wait until I left so she and my Dad could finally have time together. She told me that once, not too long ago; now she was begging my teacher to let her be a chaperone.

"Mrs. Swan, that was decided a long time ago. You can't now, it is too late, but rest assured Bella will be in good hands," Mrs. Makenna informed her.

Alice's parents were there also and her Mom looked so much better than the last time I had seen her. She was doing well in her recovery process and they all seemed to be so much happier.

Edward and his parents were there. I didn't go and talk to them, but I did wave and smile at them. Emmett and Rose were both there with their parents, but I tried not to look at them.

It was still hard for me. I knew they wanted to be friends again. Alice told me all the time and Emmett always looked at me with these sad puppy dog eyes.

They announced our flight and we were starting to board. I hugged and kissed my parents good-bye, promising to send a postcard.

I was anxious - not that I had a fear of flying - but more that I was going to be stuck on the plane for nine hours. I was a bit claustrophobic. I got into my seat next to Alice and pulled the shade down. I hated those damn things. Why would anyone want to look outside and see the earth below you or the wings? Made no sense to me.

"Relax, Bella," Alice whispered. Edward was sitting in front of us.

"Are you okay?" he asked, a bit of concern in his voice.

"I'm fine. I took a Xanax before boarding. I'll be out in a few," I told him.

Alice held my hand while we took off, not sure if it was for me or for her, but it did help.

I woke up a few hours later and found out we were still flying. I thought maybe I would have slept at least six of the nine hours, but no such luck. I got up to use the restroom; walk the isles; and back up to use the restroom. Finally, I took another Xanax.

But the more I paced, the more I felt like the plane was closing in on me.

"Bella, please sit down," Alice whined to me; I was making other people nervous.

An hour later Edward stood up, asked Alice to trade spots with him, grabbed my arm and made me sit. I was kind of shocked that he was so forceful about it. He cocked an eyebrow that told me not to argue with him.

He held my hand and rubbed small circles on it until I finally stopped bouncing my knee and sat back against the seat. I was starting to relax. I didn't know if it was Edward or the medicine - maybe a little of both.

"I don't like to depend on you," I told him with a heavy sigh. I was getting tired.

"I know and you're not. Just relax Bella, please?" He rested his head on mine and I closed my eyes. I was asleep in minutes.

The next thing I remembered was waking up. Edward had his arms around me, sleeping with his head next to mine. I was practically in his lap - now that was not embarrassing. I tried to wiggle out of his hold on me but it was so tight, I couldn't. I patted his arm to let go of me.

Edward groggily looked up at me, kind of confused himself when I motioned for him to let me go.

"Alice, you can come back and sit," I told her.

Looking to Edward, "thanks," was all I said.

"Sleep well?" She giggled.

"Shut up," I retorted at her.

The plane was beginning to descend; we would be landing soon.

Once off the plane we all had to wait until everyone grabbed the luggage. Then we made our way over to a bus that was waiting for us and headed to the hotel.

Once we got to the hotel, all hell broke loose. The hotel over-booked and some students didn't have rooms. We all had to wait around in the lobby until it was decided what they were going to do.

Mrs. Makenna was stressed and the other chaperones were trying to keep everyone quiet. We all were hungry, tired and wanted to get to our rooms.

"Can I have everyone's attention!" Mrs. Makenna yelled. "I have everyone's room keys. Some of you are going to have three or four to a room. When I call your name, come and get the key. Edward, Jasper and Emmett here is your key. Tyler, Eric, and Laurent. I don't want to hear any complaining people. Bella, Alice and Rosalie…"

This was going to be a long week. The three of us went to get our keys and started up to the nineteenth floor. We rode up in the elevator with Edward, Jasper and Emmett; their room was across from ours.

"Well, looks like some of us are lucky." Emmett patted Rose on the ass.

"I'll see _you_ later." He kissed her on the mouth.

Yes, it was going to be a long week.

I walked into our room and threw my bags on the floor. I flopped down on the nearest bed.

"Who is sharing a bed?" Alice asked.

"I don't care," I told her. "I am just tired."

"You slept all over Edward on the plane. How can you be tired?" Alice asked.

"I just am. When are we supposed to get dinner?" I was starving. I forgot to eat breakfast in the morning, although it was 9 p.m. already.

"Ummm… Bella," Rose started as I looked up at her. "I don't think they are feeding us. We need to find food on our own, and I'm hungry too. Maybe the guys will get something with us," she added.

"No! Can we just order room service instead of going out? Or you two can go with your boyfriends; I'll just order room service," I told them. I didn't want to hold them back or be the third wheel. Rose and Alice looked at each other.

"Well, I wonder what kind of food they have. Let's look at the menu." Rose moved to sit next to me. We ordered some burgers and fries. About forty-five minutes later the food arrived. We laid around and ate.

Back at home it was about 1 p.m.. We should have gone to sleep because we had to get up early but suddenly we were all wide awake.

Rose and I laid down next to each other. I could feel her looking at me, as I was looking at the ceiling. I turned over to look her in the eyes and saw how sorry she was. All the pain I had caused her - still caused her - by not being her friend.

"Bella," she started, looking at me.

"You don't have to, Rose, none of it was you. I'm sorry." I had tears streaming down my cheeks. She reached out and hugged me. I hugged her back and cried in her arms.

"Oh, guys, stop it," Alice cried.

"Alice, get your ass over here," Rose said through tears. We all hugged and cried together. Once we were done crying, we busted out laughing. It felt good to just be with the girls again.

"You do know it is 1 a.m., well only 4 p.m. in Forks, but still, we have to get up early. We should try to get some sleep," I suggested. Tomorrow we were going to the London Museum.

We fell asleep sometime around 3 a.m. and were woken up to a knock at the door at 6 a.m.. They knocked and gave us an hour to get down to the dining hall for breakfast.

With a loud grunt I rolled out of bed, grabbed my clothes and got in the shower. When I got out, Rose and Alice were still sleeping.

"Girls, we have to go! If you don't hurry you will be showering together," I chuckled.

After we all got ready, we went to the dining hall and looked around. I knew the girls would want to sit with Jasper and Emmett. I had not talked to Emmett since the dance, plus Edward would be sitting with them.

They looked at me and back at the guys, then back to me. We would have been there all day if they kept that up, so I went and sat down next to Edward; the girls followed.

"Good morning, short stuff," Emmett boomed. Leave it up to him to relieve the tension in the air. "Did you girls sleep at all?" he asked.

"Only about 3 hours, so don't mess with me today, Em." Rose pointed at him.

"Well, we never went to sleep, so it is going to be a long day," Edward added.

"Why didn't you go to sleep?" I questioned.

"Because it was one o'clock in the afternoon in Forks when it was ten p.m. here," Edward shrugged. "And before we knew it, it was almost time to get up."

After breakfast everyone was to meet in the lobby to get on the bus to the London Museum. At the museum we would explore the changing shape of London, from prehistoric times to the present, taking in Roman, Medieval and Tudor eras. I had my notebook and pencil in hand to take notes.

We walked forever and the fatigue was setting in. I didn't know if I was going to make it through the rest of the day. When we left the museum I fell asleep on the bus and Alice had to wake me up to get off the bus.

We had a few free hours to do whatever we wanted. I wanted to sleep; the girls wanted to hang out with the guys. I told them I was going to my room and they went to the guys' room. They said they would come and get me when it was time for dinner.

Dinner came, went and I woke up hungry. The room was dark and empty and I wondered what time it was. I went out to the hall and knocked on the guys' door; Edward answered.

"Are Alice and Rose in here?" I asked. Edward opened the door wider for me to see; they were listening to music and sitting on the bed.

"Bella, we tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't budge. We told Mrs. Makenna that you hadn't slept the night before and that you were sleeping. She said it was okay - you can order room service, if you want to eat." Rose smiled at me.

"Yeah, I guess I will order room service. See you girls later?" I questioned. I wondered what time they came to do room checks. When they did, we were to be in our own rooms.

The next day we had two places to visit and Mrs. McKenna said we would not return until dinner time. Breakfast was early and we left soon after. It took a while to get everyone on the bus and counted for; and then again as we got off the bus.

We walked around a lot, stopping for lunch, then it was back on the bus for the next stop. I didn't realize this trip was going to be so much work. I would rather have stayed home and lounged around the house if I had known, or I could have gone to Phoenix to see Jake.

That reminded me, I needed to pick up souvenirs for Jake and my parents.

The following day I was finally getting used to the time change and falling asleep at a decent hour, and not feeling so tired. I was excited about the next day, we were going to tour Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle and the changing of the guard. This was the one day I was looking forward to. We would spend the entire day there and eat at one of the restaurants there.

The girls and I stayed in our room for the night - talking and getting caught up on the things I'd missed with Rose.

"We came in tenth in the cheer competition. Not too bad. Oh and did you hear what happened to Victoria?"

The mere mention of her name had me in a panic. I shook my head and allowed her to continue.

"They kicked her off their team. Some of the parents complained how she was treating the team and threatened the school by saying that they were going to go to the board. After that she flipped out I guess. Her Mom was a real nut case, as well. I guess she pushed Victoria to be the best and was really mean if she wasn't. When they kicked her off, she tried to kill herself. They put her in a hospital after that. It's kind of sad."

I couldn't believe it. Rose said she heard about it at the competition and I wondered why Jake hadn't called me with the news. I would have to call him and ask him when I got home. Most of the time the girls on the team exaggerated the truth, but I hoped she was able to get the help she needed.

The rest of the week went by fast but it was exhausting - museum after museum - sometimes two on one day; usually a lot of walking. It was fun, but tiring. My feet hurt and I caught a cold while I was there. I was starting to get homesick and couldn't wait to see my Mom and Dad.

Our last night there was spent staying up with the guys. We weren't supposed to, so after they came and did their checks, the guys snuck out and came over to our room. Don't ask me how they had gotten out of the room without ruining the tape they'd put on our doors to keep us in, but they had.

The next morning as soon as the plane took off, my anxiety started again. I didn't have any pills with me this time since I had taken two on the trip there, and two at the hotel when we first arrived. Being paired up with Rose in my room made me anxious. My Mom only gave me four because we had to sneak them - we didn't want to go through the hassle of getting it approved by the school nurse first.

So here I was, sitting on the plane next to Alice, squeezing the hell out of her hand and bouncing my knee. It was the long trip that made me nervous.

I knew what I needed, but I was too ashamed to ask - it just didn't seem right.

_Edward can you come and sit with me so I can relax, because just your simple touch can do it._ Yeah, I didn't think so.

About six hours into the flight most of the people were sleeping. I was wide awake, trying to read my book. Alice left to sit next to Jasper after I kept waking her up. Edward was also sleeping, next to Emmett. I must have finally fallen asleep, I realized, when someone was tapping me on the shoulder, telling me we had landed. I looked up to see Edward's green eyes; he was smiling at me.

"We're home, sleeping beauty." He winked at me. I gulped, then stood up and stretched. I grabbed my purse and headed for the doors. I couldn't wait to see my parents.

I saw Esme and Carlisle first, then Alice's parents. I finally found my Mom and Dad and ran to greet them. My Dad wrapped his arms around me and held me in a big hug, saying he had missed me. My Mom did the same and she started asking all her questions.

My Mom talked my head off on the way home. Apparently she sold some of her pottery and wanted to open her own shop. She was pretty good at it; not just pots either, she could make bowls, cups or mugs. I was very proud of her.

I told them all about England and how I wished I could go back without a class schedule to follow. There was so much more I would like to see.

My Dad informed me that I had received a few packages from some of the colleges I had applied to. He had said 'packages', not letters, so I had assumed some of them might have been acceptance packages. I asked him from where, but he said I would have to wait until I got home to find out. I hoped one of them was my first choice.

A/N: We will find out what college Bella is going to attend next chapter. So is everyone glad that it seems that the gang is getting back together? Now if only Edward and Bella could figure things out. Let me know what you think.

Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and sticking with me. A big thank you to crazierthanu for just being awesome, making me laugh when I really need it, and for always being there for me.


	26. Chapter 26: Acceptance

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight, even though I wish I did. A/N at the end…enjoy!**

**Chapter 26 BPOV**

**Acceptance**

I ran into the house looking for the envelopes with my name on them. What I found were Washington State University, Northwestern University, Cal State Santa Barbara; all thick envelopes.

I opened the least of my favorites first - Cal State Santa Barbara: "_Congratulations,_" it read. Washington State was next: "_Very proud to offer you…_" it started. My favorite of all was NU, where I applied for a scholarship: "_Dear Ms. Swan it is of great pleasure to offer you a partial scholarship to our Journalism program." _

I couldn't believe it. I never thought I would actually get in but I had.

My Dad was reading over my shoulder. "I'm so proud of you baby." He hugged me.

My Mom was in tears. "Me too, sweetie," my Mom cried.

We went out to have dinner to celebrate. We went to the lodge instead of the diner. It was a nice dinner but by the end I was falling asleep in my food. My body was still on London time; I think it was 3 a.m. there.

After we went back home I went right to bed. It seemed unfair that I had school the next day. I felt like I had been in school all week.

The alarm clock went off at 6:30 a.m. and I almost threw the thing, it was so unfair. I almost told my Mom I wanted to stay home but then I remembered I had to start writing that piece on our senior trip.

I met Alice in the parking lot and we talked for a while. We were both really tired and cranky. Then the bell went off informing us that school was starting.

Classes dragged and when it was time for lunch I found myself in a dilemma. Now that I was talking to Emmett and Rose and sometimes even Edward, I didn't know where I should sit. Alice and I usually sat together, sometimes with Mike. I felt bad if I sat with my old friends and left Mike out, but what would my old friends think if I didn't sit with them?

Alice motioned for me to come and sit with the gang just as Mike came to sit down next to me.

"Hey, Bella, I didn't get the chance to see you on the trip. Did you have a good time?" he asked.

"Uhhh, yeah… it was good," I answered, only half paying attention to him.

Alice mouthed 'come on' and I motioned to Mike. She said she was talking to the group and then she yelled across the cafeteria.

"Bring Mike, too." I looked up and blinked at her.

"Hey, Mike, want to go sit with Alice?" I motioned to where she was.

"Oh, I don't know. If you want to go you can. I will just, umm, sit here," he said looking at his food.

"No, come, it will be okay. They don't bite you know," I told him.

"Yeah, but Edward… He is looking at me like if I even talk to you he is going to bite me. I don't want to risk a chance if I actually follow you over there." He was serious.

"I won't let him bite you. Come," I encouraged him. I stood up waiting for him to follow, when he did we both walked over together.

"Hey guys, this is Mike. I used to work for his parents at the sporting goods store." They all said 'hi' but then silence fell at the table – awkward silence.

"So, Bella," Mike spoke up, "is it true that you went out with that guy from La Push?"

I choked on my lemonade.

"What guy?" I looked at him then at Edward. He seemed to be waiting for that answer too.

"Angela said she saw you leave with him when you volunteered at that shelter," he added.

"We were not going on a date; we were going to pick up donated supplies. Where do people come up with this stuff?" I offered..

"So you didn't go on a date?" Edward asked.

"I don't date," I blurted. _Not since you and not without you_ - I wanted to add.

"Oh, so I still have a chance." Mike nudged my shoulder.

"In your dreams," Edward mumbled but it was so low I doubt Mike heard him.

"Sorry, Mike, not even you have a chance." I nudged him back. I could see Edward's muscles tense up and the crease between his eyebrows scrunch together. Maybe it was a bad idea to bring Mike. Edward looked mad.

"I have to go." Edward shot up out of his chair and was out of the cafeteria before I could even say a word. I just looked around to everyone.

"Wow, Bella, you really know how to clear a place." Emmett shot a glance at me and then he too left. Jeez what did I do?

"Rose, I didn't mean to insult anyone," I stated. I didn't even know what happened.

"I should go." Mike got up and left the table.

I guess I did know how to clear a place.

"Do I smell?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Bella, what possessed you to bring Mike to this table?" Rose asked.

"Rose, I didn't just want to leave him at the other table where I have spent the last few months sitting. Why did they get upset with me?" I asked.

"Bella, don't you know anything? Edward is jealous - always has been, always will be - and very protective, especially of you. Emmett is just a big softy and cares for his friends. He saw that Edward was hurting, so he got mad at you for making him hurt. Emmett is having PMS or something right now, he has been so touchy," Rose explained.

The bell rang and as much as I wanted to go apologize to Edward, the other side of me - the stubborn side - was telling me I did not have anything to apologize for. I had done nothing wrong and we were not even anything. I had no words for what we were - somewhere between friends and acquaintances. He shouldn't have gotten mad because I had a conversation with Mike.

I found Edward in Cooking, sulking and in a bad mood. I tried to kid around with him but he wasn't having it.

"Come on, Cupcake, what's your problem?" Using his nickname sounded so foreign now. I guess it did to him too because his eyes shot to mine and his facial expression distorted. He was mad.

"Don't call me that," he spat. "And my problem is that you think you can dictate when you want to talk to me and when we can be friends. I don't want to be your friend, Bella."

He didn't want to be my friend? I had tried so hard to get us to the place where we could be friends and push my true feelings aside, and he didn't even want it?

"Well, you know what, EDWARD?" I punctuated his name precisely. "I could have saved myself a lot of grief. I tried to make peace and become your friend and you don't even want my friendship? Whatever, Edward, I'm done here." I got up and walked out of class.

"Wait, Bella, I didn't mean it like that," I heard him call after me but I kept walking. I didn't want him to see just how much he had hurt me. I went to the parking lot, past the trees to the bench; just sat there and cried. I was glad he hadn't followed me. I stayed there until the bell rang and then went to my next class.

I had to work at the library after school that day, but I was not looking forward to it. I didn't know if Edward would show up wanting to talk to me. To my surprise Alice was there instead - looking all pissed off at me. What was up with things today? Was it 'be pissed at Bella day'?

"Hey," I called to her when I got out of my car. I wondered how she even got there, until when I saw Jasper coming out of his car.

"Why do you repeatedly hurt him, Bella? I get that he screwed up. I get that you were hurt and mad. Shit, I was mad too, remember? But I forgave and in the process of forgiving, I forgot. He doesn't want to be your friend, he wants to be more and that is what he was trying to tell you. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you." Jasper was rubbing her back. She was upset and shaking but not crying.

"I'm afraid," I answered honestly.

Here is where Jasper cut in. "Bella, I pretty much have stayed out of all of this and I wasn't upset when Alice broke up with me. I knew she was confused and had to work things out on her own. But I witnessed what it has done to him, to her," he said looking at Alice. "I see what it has done to you, but at some point all of you are going to have to either let it go and move on or hold on to it. You can't have it both ways and none of you can continue to go on like this. Edward was a mess this afternoon. I feel like both of you are going around in circles and acting childish. Grow up and make a decision." After that he pulled Alice to the car, nether one gave me the chance to explain my side of the story.

I was glad the week went by quick. Edward and I had such a good time in England but everything seemed to fall apart once we got home. On Friday night, even though I had traded with someone so I had to work, I didn't mind, I was glad because it kept my mind off other things.

I worked until 9 p.m., then went home. My parents were at a police ball in Port Angeles and would be home later. I hated going home to an empty house. It reminded me of the time when the house was broken into.

I called Carmen when I got home. I knew it was late but I wanted to make an appointment with her. It was nearly three weeks since I saw her last, and after all that had happened since then, I needed to talk to her. It was also a long time since I had actually written in my journal about myself; tonight seemed appropriate.

_Dear Journal, _

_I'm so sick of doing the wrong things. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around Edward because I don't know how to act. I miss him and I never wanted him as just a friend. That is probably why I overreacted when he said he didn't want to be friends. He was actually saying he wanted to be more. I once again did not give him the chance to explain. Why do I keep doing that? _

_I thought I was past all of this. I thought I had matured enough. In some ways I had. My writing has led me to have a way to express myself. I feel confident in it and it is something I enjoyed doing. I went back to working at the library because I enjoyed being around books. After all the things I'd accomplished I still felt hollow, like something is missing. _

_I finally had a stable healthy relationship with my parents. They didn't rely on me as much and I could actually enjoy things now without worrying about if they were eating because I wasn't there to cook or if the laundry was getting done right because my Mom forgot not to mix colors with whites. My Dad and I were finally talking; he tells me he loves me and he's proud of me. But I was still missing something._

I was on a roll when I heard the front door open. That was odd because my parents were not expected back until later. I listened some more to see if I could hear my parents talking but it was silent. I went downstairs to investigate. The front door was wide open but I didn't see anyone in the living room. I walked to the dining room, then into the kitchen but saw no one. I grabbed the cordless phone but the line was dead; this was when I got worried. Someone was in the house and had cut the phone line.

I was on my way back upstairs to retrieve my cell phone when I heard him.

"It was pretty easy finding you."

His blond hair was pulled back and his blue eyes were staring right into mine. He was dressed in black and wearing black gloves. I looked to see if I could see a car in front but saw nothing. He had a black leather jacket on with a 'KISS' t-shirt.

"How did you know where I was?" I asked. "What do you want?"

"One question at a time, sweetheart," he cooed. "It's pretty easy to track someone who makes appearances."

"Where, when did you see me?" I questioned.

"When you went with your friend Rosalie - never thought I would see you at another cheer competition. I found out what school it was; it was easy to track you."

"What do you want from me?" I didn't know why I was being so calm or why I kept asking questions.

"It's what I always wanted from you. I got close to Victoria to get close to you, but you never saw me, did you? It was always about Steve or Chris because they were popular and on the football team. When she asked for the favor to get you naked, I couldn't refuse. You skin is so soft, I want to touch you some more."

He moved closer to me; that was when I started to get afraid.

"James, I don't know why you are here, but I want to remind you that my Dad is the chief of police and should be home soon." I lied.

"Don't lie to me, Isabella. I bugged the house. I know they are in Port Angeles and not due home until well after midnight," he yelled.

"What - you bugged the house?" None of it was making any sense.

"That night - New Year's Eve - I was here. Your parents were out. I needed to turn off the electricity to plant the bugs. I only meant for it to be for a few minutes but it was pouring rain and your parents came home. I had to leave, but not before the bugs were placed. Your Dad is not a very good officer. I was right by the fuse box when he flipped the electricity back on."

"Where is Victoria?" I thought maybe they were in on it together to torment me.

"The crazy? She is in the hospital the last I heard. Isabella, it was never about her. After you left I stayed with her out of pity. She hung on my every word. I could get her to do anything I wanted."

"My boyfriend will be here soon," I blurted. I needed him to think I was not going to be here alone.

"Edward? Isabella, I know everything, remember? You broke up with him. I don't think he will be coming to protect you. Let's go." He grabbed my arm and began pulling me to the back door. Why were we leaving from the back?

"No, James, I don't want to go with you." I tried to pull away from him.

"You want me, I know you do." He grabbed my arm tighter as he pulled out the back door.

"You won't get away with it. Let me go and I will pretend like you were never here," I begged him.

"LET HER GO!" James walked backward, right into the gun of my father. He let go of me and held up his hands. My Dad called for back-up and put James on the ground.

"Your Mom is in the car out front," my Dad told me, motioning with his head for me to go. I ran out front, my Mom opened the car door and I went into her arms sobbing.

More police came and they put James into the police cruiser. He looked pissed and kept staring at me. I wanted to go back into the house; I couldn't see him anymore. They wouldn't let me back in since it was the scene of a crime. I gave my statement to the police telling them everything he told me. They went through the house to debug it.

James might have been crazier than Victoria. He told the officers that we were in love and wanted to run away together. They were going to charge him with attempted kidnapping, breaking and entering and placing the bugs in the house. He was over eighteen so he would be tried as an adult; more than likely I would have to testify.

My Dad came to see if I was okay.

"How did you know?" I asked him.

"I saw an unfamiliar car parked down the street and when I got to the house the front door was open. I started to go around to the back when I heard you talking. It took all the strength I had not to go busting through the house. But as I saw him backing up to me I knew if he kept going he would run right into my gun and he wouldn't have time to use you as a shield."

"Dad, you're my hero." I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek.

The police were in the house a long time doing their investigation and it looked like it would be several more hours before I would be allowed to go back in there.

I called Edward. I really didn't even know why I called him, but after my parents he was the only other person I trusted. He calmed me and I wanted to hear his voice even if he told me to kiss his ass.

"Hello?" I knew he wouldn't know my number since I had changed it like three times since I'd known him.

"Hey, it's ummm… Bella." I was nervous but I heard music in the background. I didn't think he was home.

"Bella?" he questioned.

"Where are you, Edward?" I asked. I could barely hear him over all the noise.

"Wait a minute," he told me. He must have gone outside because it got quiet.

"What's up?" Was he drinking?

"Are you at a party?" I questioned.

"Yes, what do you want?" Before I could answer he took a deep breath, and I could just picture him grabbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "Emmett invited me to go out. Is something wrong, Bella?"

"James," I whispered. "He came after me," I added. "He almost took me away." I felt tears run down my face. "I just thought maybe I could stay the night at your house but I'll call Alice or something." My voice cracked twice.

"Baby, I will have Emmett take me home. I'll meet you there, okay?"

I hung up with Edward and told my parents I was going to go stay at his house. My Dad looked at me weird but said nothing. My Mom gave me a hug, saying she would call me in the morning.

I arrived at Edward's house and knocked on the door. Edward said he was calling his Mom to let her know I was coming over, explaining what had happened. She had a pink robe on and I knew I had woken her up.

I wondered if his parents knew it was 1:30 a.m. and that Edward was out. She led me to their spare bedroom but I stopped when I got to the door.

"Do you mind if I just wait for Edward in his room?" I asked. She nodded, walked to his door, opening it to let me inside. She hugged me before leaving and went back to her room.

For the first time I got under the covers in Edward's bed, only having been on top of them before. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. That night I had no nightmares but instead I dreamt that I was surrounded by Edward and he was protecting me.

Not sure what time, but I woke with a jolt, remembering I was supposed to wait for Edward and that I was lying in his bed. I looked around but didn't see him until I looked on the black couch in the corner of the room. He was there; the only thing peeking out from the covers was one foot. I wondered when he had gotten home and why he didn't wake me up.

I noticed it was only seven and he would probably wake up hungry. I wondered if Esme would mind if I made breakfast. I left the room as quiet as possible so I would not wake up Edward.

No one was downstairs so I started making some blueberry muffins. I also took out some eggs and bacon. With the leftover blueberries I decided to make pancakes too. The muffins were almost done when I heard footsteps behind me. Edward came into the kitchen, yawning and mumbling something.

"It smells good," I think he said.

"Did I wake you?" I asked.

"If you mean by the smell of blueberry muffins… then, yes." He smiled at me. I made coffee and Edward took a cup, grabbing a muffin as soon as I pulled them out of the oven.

I started on the bacon and pancakes while he sat, watching me. He chuckled and I wondered what he was thinking.

"What?"

"We look like an old married couple," he said, smiling. I guess we did. I laughed too.

"Well can – this - old married couple get some coffee and muffins too?" I heard Carlisle say as he walked into the kitchen. I blushed and got out two cups for them.

After breakfast Edward asked if I wanted to go back to his room. Once there he asked me if I was okay with everything that had happened and he was glad I had thought to call him.

I asked him about the party, which bothered me, but acted like it didn't. We weren't together, after all, so he could do what he wanted. He said Em asked him to go because Rose was home with the flu and he was bored. He didn't want to go but Em said he had to get out of the house. He said he had a few drinks and was sorry but I told him that he could do whatever he wanted.

"Yeah, but I know you don't like it," he said.

"Edward, it is okay. I should have never told you not to do it to begin with; it was not my place. You can do whatever you want," I told him.

After breakfast we listened to some music and watched a little TV.

My Mom called and I told her I would be home later. I didn't really want to go home. It just reminded me of James coming in. I doubted I would ever be able to stay at home alone again. I was glad that I had an appointment with Carmen coming up so that I could talk to her about how anxious I felt about being home alone

"What are you thinking about?" Edward brought me out of my daydream.

"I'm glad I have an appointment with my… Dr. Eleazer later in the week. I'm going to need to talk to her."

"She helps you?" Edward asked. I didn't know if I was ready to talk about everything with him.

"Yeah, she has helped a lot. Things with my parents are good. My Dad is showing more of his feelings and my Mom actually is cooking and taking on responsibilities she used to leave up to me before. I thought I was over everything from Phoenix but seeing James brought it all back. I've started writing, which I really enjoyed. Not just in my journal either - about everything. I feel like I can express myself now. We talk about you, she knows all about you."

I didn't want to go on, so I sighed and tried to change the subject.

"Are you going to prom?" I asked, but as soon as it left my mouth I wished I hadn't.

"Alice is trying to talk me into going and just hanging out with them. I'm… I didn't ask anyone," he admitted.

"Yeah, me either. I wasn't going to go but somehow I got suckered into being on the committee, so now I have to go," I told him. "Alice also said I could go with them," I added.

"We can hang out. I mean not go together but just go as friends if you like," Edward suggested.

"I think that would be nice," I replied. "Alice would be happy."

"Not only Alice," I thought I heard Edward mumble, but I wasn't sure.

"You've been involved in a lot of extracurricular activities lately," Edward stated.

"Yeah, just trying to keep busy. I enjoy volunteering at the women's shelter and with school. I just wanted to do things I never would have done before. Carmen said it was important." I rolled me eyes.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad we can be friends."

"Me too," I agreed, even though I wanted so much more.

A/N: So there you go - they are on their way to being at least friends. So did everyone suspect that it was James that was breaking into her house? Thanks to Lady Tazz for pre-reading and crazierthanu for beta'ing this crazy thing for me.


	27. Chapter 27: Friends and Lovers

Disclaimer: Twilight is not mine. I am just an adult who is in love with the characters, because fantasy is better than reality, any day. I must say this is one of my most, if not – the - most, favorite chapters. A/N at the end.

**Chapter 27 BPOV**

**Friends and Lovers**

I felt pressure now that I said I would go to the prom with Edward as 'friends'**. **I called him to let him know that I was going to take my own car, since it was not like a date. He sounded kind of disappointed but I didn't want him to think it was something more than what it was.

I also had to rein Alice in. I let her know I already had a dress and that I was going to get ready at my house. I had to be at the school early to get things ready, so I was not going with them to dinner first. She pouted, but I didn't give in.

I had a session with Carmen to talk about the stress I was feeling lately; the prom and the Edward thing, he was always a part of the session.

Volunteering at the shelter, working, school stuff - and all the testing that went with it the James thing; it was all causing me to have a hard time sleeping.

"Bella, it is normal for you to feel anxious sometimes - everyone does - but it's how you choose to deal with it that is important. It looks like you are stretching yourself too thin. I think you should cut back on some of the things you are involved in. School is going to be ending and you should have some fun during the last summer with your friends." Carmen was always right.

"How is Edward? Are you anxious because of all the stuff you are doing or because you and Edward are heading into unfamiliar territory by being friends?" She knew me to well.

"I guess it is a little of everything, but the thing with Edward has me worried. What if we can't be friends?" I asked.

"What do you mean? You won't be able to be friends or because you want more," she asked.

"I want more," I stated. I always wanted more. "But I want him to ask me." I needed to know if that was what he wanted.

"But are you willing not to get it because he might not say it, or because he thinks you don't want it." Damn her.

"I haven't been sleeping," I said, trying to change the subject.

"I see you are done talking. We should meet again after graduation. I will prescribe something to help you sleep. It is a mild sedative, and it shouldn't make you groggy in the morning."

I drove home thinking about everything Carmen had said. I decided I would give Esme my two week notice and tell the shelter that I couldn't volunteer any more. There was only three weeks of school left and everything else should have slowed down after the dance.

When I got home my Dad informed me that the trial for James was the day after graduation. Lucky me. I had to meet with his lawyer and mine before that to give my testimony. My Dad made the appointment for me; we had to be at the courthouse at 7 a.m. on a Tuesday morning. It looked like I would miss school that day.

Mr. Webber, my lawyer, met my parents and I outside the courthouse. He was Angela's father and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I mean I went to school with his daughter and I worked with her at the library. This was my first meeting with him, but apparently he and my Dad had met and discussed things before.

"Don't worry too much, there is a lot of evidence that will help your case. I just have to ask you some things before his attorney comes in.

Now they are going to use what happened in the past to try and say you led him on or something. I just want you to know that will be their tactic. They can't use the pictures because you were under age and they were taken without your permission," he told me. Thank God, I was worried about them being shown in court.

He also told me that they would bring up that I had been drunk and try to discredit my testimony.

It was the most exhausting day of my life. Question after question; sometimes the same question asked different ways. I guess they wanted to see if I would answer the same way. My lawyer only objected when they asked about the photos and about me going to California with my boyfriend, which I thought was strange. I also thought it was weird that they knew about it. It seemed hardly fair that James was on trial for kidnapping me yet they were trying to discredit my character.

"I'm proud of you kiddo," my Dad told me on the way home.

I had my eyes closed, just trying to relax. "Thanks, Dad."

Edward text me several times, he was such a worrier. I texted him on the way home letting him know I was doing okay. He asked if he could come over but I told him I was tired and I wanted to have dinner, and then got to bed. He replied 'okay', but even his text sounded disappointed.

When I got to school the next day he was waiting by his car and walked over to me as soon as I pulled in.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine Edward. You don't need to worry about me, Yesterday was a long day and I'm sorry I didn't want you to come over. I just wanted to be alone. I was drained," I explained. He walked me to my first period and asked if I was going to sit with them at lunch. I said I would, but I was not inviting Mike this time.

Time seemed to be moving on fast forward, with the dance being the next day. In some ways I was looking forward to going and being with all my friends again, but in other ways it scared me, remembering what happened the last time.

The dance was just like every other dance. I was there so early I had to get ready in the restroom. Good thing I wasn't like some of those girls that took all day to get ready. Alice would have a fit if she had to get ready in the restroom after blowing up balloons, sweating and having no shower.

My dress was black, just above my knee and strapless. I placed a silver ribbon and bow around my waist to help tie in with my silver strappy pumps. _God help me to not fall_.

Before long people started to arrive. Alice and Edward both texted me to let me know they were on their way; I wondered if they were together. I saw Rose and Emmett walk in. Rose was glowing in her black strapless dress that showed off her legs. They walked over to me when they got in. Rose hugged me, said I looked beautiful and Emmett swung me around saying I looked hot, even for his little sister.

Alice and Jasper walked in next. Alice had gone all out. She was wearing a blue strapless dress, silver shoes, silver handbag and her hair was all spiky. She looked beautiful. Jasper couldn't take his eyes off her.

Just past them I saw Edward walk in. He was wearing black dress pants and a black button-down shirt. He was his gorgeous self. He looked me up and down, smiling wide. He walked over to me to give me a hug. It felt so natural; it hadn't felt that way in a long time.

The dance was great. I danced a few songs with the girls and promised Edward one slow song.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked when I rubbed my forehead.

"Headache, I haven't eaten all day," I answered.

"We should go," he suggested. I didn't want him to leave because of me; there was still a few hours left of the dance. Before I could stop him, he went and talked to Jasper, Alice, Em, and Rose. He came back and pulled me towards the door.

"We are all going to eat. We will pick up your car later," he told me. Who was I to argue?

Dinner was great and I don't think I had laughed that hard in a long time. I was going to miss this group of people. That thought made me sad and I got tears in my eyes, which I tried to ignore.

"What's wrong baby?" Edward asked, seeing what I was trying to hide.

"I'm going to miss all of you," I stuttered, the words getting stuck in my throat.

"Ah shit, Bella, don't start that. I don't want to cry tonight," Rose wiped at her eyes.

"We should all go somewhere tropical after graduation," Alice suggested.

"Like where? I don't have a lot of money," I told her. I knew they probably would be getting a lot of money for graduation and could afford it. I, on the other hand, would not and if I did get any money I needed to save it to purchase things for college.

"We should go to Hawaii or Bahamas," Alice suggested. "Hey, Bella, you still have the tickets Edward's parents gave you for your birthday to Disneyworld? You can go to Disneyworld then we can meet up and take a cruise to the Bahamas. I will look into it."

Alice clapped and everyone agreed. I still did not think I would be able to go. Even if someone else paid for the cruise, I was not sure I would have enough spending money.

After the dinner, Edward drove me back to the school to pick up my car. He followed me home. He wanted to make sure I got there safely. He was so over-protective sometimes. My Dad was waiting up for me; it was just past midnight and I was exhausted.

"Hey, Dad, you did not have to wait up for me." I kissed him on the cheek and headed for the stairs.

"I know, but I thought you would be later," he informed me.

"I had a headache, so we went to eat and then I came home. I'm tired," I told him. I went to my room and fell asleep.

The last week of school was the most relaxing time I had ever experienced. I was not sure if it was just the calm before the storm or what. All seniors were basically done with school. We were there for attendance and to say good-bye to friends, sign year books and just hang out. I refused to tell anyone good-bye.

My cap and gown hung in my room on the back of my door; it was a constant reminder that soon everything was going to change. I spent the last few days before graduation working on my Valedictorian speech. Yeah, I knew I procrastinated. I should have written it a few weeks before.

I woke up early on graduation day though I didn't have to. I had to be at school at noon for a 1:30 start time. I took a long shower, and after when I looked on the mirror there was a post-it from my Dad: **Today is your day. Knock 'em dead. **

It was going to be a long day. I decided against make-up; I knew there would be a lot of crying. Alice would be disappointed. I went over my speech and went downstairs to have breakfast. When I opened the cabinet I found another post-it from my Dad: **I'm so very proud of you.**

My Dad had to work that morning so he was already gone. This was his way of being here with me, even though he wasn't.

My Mom was getting ready and my Dad was arriving home soon after leaving work mid-day to go with us to the the school. My mom handed me one more note from my Dad: **Life is full of unexpected things just know…** he ended there. I wondered why until I heard his voice, "You can always count on me, Bells." I turned around to see my Dad standing behind me.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and hugged him. "I love you, Dad," I said. "I love you too. Let's go graduate." He led me to the car.

I got to school and checked in. Everyone was taking pictures and hugging. There were a few tears but I tried to avoid all of it. They lined us up alphabetically except for a few honor students and me. We would lead the group of students to their seats; mine was in the front row.

I found out my parents were sitting with Jake. I was so glad he was able to make it. I didn't know where all my friends would be sitting but I hoped I would be able to find them once I took the stage.

The principal came on stage and said a few words along with some other people. I had no idea what they said or what was going on; I was in a daze. It was not until I heard them announce my name that I realized it was my turn to talk. I stood up and walked up the flight of stairs and stood at the podium.

I searched the crowd for my friends - for my Edward. I found Edward easily since he was close to the front. He smiled at me and I smiled back. I took a deep breath and started.

"First of all, I feel a little overwhelmed about speaking here today. Let me thank everyone who's been close to me; for their support, patience, and love." I looked at Edward; he never took his eyes off me.

"Mom, Dad, you've been great and I love you. Jake, my best friend, who's always been there for me, through thick and thin - I love you." I looked to Jake and he blew me a kiss.

"I'm sure all my fellow students feel the same about their family and friends. High school for most students represents a time of change as each one of us grows, learns, strives for good grades, and prepares for the next step in life. So, here we are on graduation day. We are successful, happy, educated individuals.

On a personal note, I would like to add that I am saddened at leaving this school. I will miss everyone very, very much." Tears fell down my cheek.

"We are very prepared to move on to the next chapter in our lives. We are well prepared to leave home, take responsibility, relate to other people, deal with hard times, and still come through - I think." I gave a small chuckle and everyone joined in.

"I once was asked about my relationships with my parents, peers, and close friends. When I started here at Forks High I couldn't see my ability to form relationships, understand them, contribute to them or develop them.

"Looking back I cannot say I sought to make friends with anyone. I was too busy studying hard, attending classes, and working at the local library. Yet I can see that I steadily became close friends with a small group of students that accepted me without knowing anything about me." I searched the crowd for all my friends.

"I thought it was crazy that a student body of 500 would have a welcoming committee - a committee of one." Everyone laughed and someone shouted out Alice's name.

"But there she came, bouncing into the office on my first day, and hugged me like we had known each other all our lives. Alice has a way of making everyone feel welcome. We now have to face the fact that much of those relationships will end today. Most of us are off to college. I will endeavor to keep in touch with as many of you as possible." I looked back to Edward.

"It is important to me to give it my best shot even with those of you where our relationship has faltered. For me, I will miss all of you. It is only today that I realize just how much." Tears started falling from my eyes.

"But life goes on. Our relationships with our families will grow now that we will be out of the house and not have to answer to them. Our relationships with those we keep in touch with will grow. Those we won't see, we wish them well. We will move on to new relationships." I looked right at Edward, never taking my eyes off him.

"Or try and rekindle old ones," I said slowly. "Take a last moment to look around and see all the people who've meant so much to you. Tell them you love them. I hope the memories will last forever. Thank you." I continued to stare at Edward. I wished this ceremony was done already. If it were, I would run right into his arms and ask him to never let me go.

Everyone yelled and clapped as I took my seat. My tears would not stop after all of that. They called everyone, one by one, to receive their diploma.

Then the principal took the podium and announced, "It is with great pleasure to announce that you have all graduated. You may take the tassel and place it on the other side. Congratulations, class of 2010."

Everyone stood up and cheered, throwing their hats up in the air. Everything happened fast after that.

I met my parents and they both were crying. I hugged Jake, who said he was proud of me. I tried to find Edward but he was nowhere to be seen. Random people came up to me, congratulating me. I continued to look around for Edward. I was getting pushed closer to the exit. I didn't want to leave; I needed to see him before it was too late.

Alice ran up and hugged me; tears flowing from both our eyes.

"Have you seen Edward?" I asked.

"Yeah, he was over there with his parents," she said pointing by the other exit.

"I need to find him," I told her. She said she would go and try to find him for me.

My Mom wanted pictures, so she took some of Jake and I, he even put me on his shoulders; one of my Dad and me; my Mom and me; and Jake took one of the three of us. My Dad said we should leave; we were going out for dinner to celebrate. I nodded, disappointed that I did not get the chance to see Edward.

"Bella!" I heard someone shouting. I couldn't see who.

"Bella!" He called out again. I looked around but the crowd was too big. I couldn't see who was calling me.

"Bella!" Another shout, but this time I saw him through the crowd - it was Edward. I turned around and stopped, just staring at him.

"Bella," he said again, staring right back at me. I saw it in his eyes, he cared for me, loved me and neither of us would be happy without each other.

I couldn't be his friend because we were meant to be more than that. As we stood there, staring at each other, everything around me disappeared. I dropped everything I was holding and started running. I needed him; to be close to him. He smiled at me as I approached and I jumped into his arms. He caught me by the waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I pulled him close to me; as close as we could possibly get.

"I love you, Edward, with everything I have. I love you," I confessed.

"I love you too, Baby, forever," he told me.

I put my lips to his and we kissed passionately with everything we had. I couldn't get enough of him; it had been too long. I slipped my tongue into his mouth and he did the same.

"We should stop," Edward chuckled. I didn't want to; I could have kissed him all day.

"I don't want to let go," I told him. He laughed again.

"I know, but my Dad has cleared his throat twice already," he mentioned.

Right, parents. Damn. I let go of his lips and he put me on the ground.

All our friends and family were standing around us. None of them were in shock, really. They knew we were meant to be together as much as we did, maybe more since we both had been so stubborn.

Again my Mom wanted to take pictures of us together. I took some with my friends too and Emmett demanded that the two of us take a picture so he could take it with him to college. I wanted to cry. I took a picture with Edward and his parents, too.

"Should we all go to dinner now? I doubt we will get these two separated now," my Mom giggled.

"Never let me go again." I squeezed Edward's hand.

"Never."

We got to the restaurant, still holding Edward's hand. He would squeeze it once in awhile and make some circles with his thumb.

Conversations flowed and everyone was having a god time.

"Bella, it was a beautiful speech," Esme commented.

I blushed and thanked her.

Jake was being quiet. I was being a bad friend. I was so wrapped up in Edward that I hadn't said but a few words to him.

"So, Jake, how is Leah?" I asked.

"She's good, I guess. We are not together any more, Bells," he said with a shrug. I moved from sitting next to Edward, to sitting next to Jake.

"What happened?" I put my arms around him. I was a terrible friend.

"It's nothing, Bells, really. We are still friends and hang out all the time.

We just wanted different things, I guess. I broke up with her," he stated, which shocked me. I liked her so much.

"Why, if you don't mind me asking?"

"I met someone else. I know it was terrible and I swear nothing happened before I told Leah. We were just friends. I met her at the Auto parts store; she works there with her Dad part-time. We started talking and clicked. I started looking forward going to see her more than Leah, so I knew I had to tell Leah," he added.

"What is this new girl like?" I felt like I was missing out on so much of my friend's life.

"She's beautiful. She reminds me of you, really. She has brown wavy hair and big brown eyes. A big smile and the cutest dimples I've ever seen. She knows about cars and we can talk about them for hours. She is everything I have been looking for." He had a spark in his eye. I wondered if that was how Edward looked at me.

"What's her name?" I asked.

"Nessie." What an odd name, I thought.

"Is that a nickname or something?" I asked.

"She hates her name. She said her parents must hate her or something." He chuckled. He pulled out his wallet and showed me a picture of her. She was beautiful.

"What college are you going to?" Esme asked, leaning over to where I was sitting. I forgot I had not told Edward where I was attending.

"Northwestern," I stated proudly. Carlisle choked on his wine and Esme smiled at me. I was obviously missing the joke. I looked over to Edward and he was shaking his head, smiling at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Edward will be going to Northwestern in the fall also," Carlisle stated.

I went and sat back down next to Edward; he kissed me, resting his head on my forehead. We were going to the same college after all. My Dad looked pissed and my Mom just beamed at us.

"Looks like the two of you lucked out," my Mom added.

Once dinner was done, everyone was ready to go home. Even though I was tired, I didn't want to leave Edward just yet; I had eight month's to make up for.

Jake informed me that he was going to call Nessie and then go to bed. I kissed him on the cheek. My Dad was taking him to the airport early in the morning. "Can we hang out for awhile?" I asked Edward.

"Of course," he replied.

We went back home, glad I was able to change out of my dress and into some jeans. Edward went and got his car to pick me up.

We went back to his house and went up to his room. I sat on the couch and Edward came and sat down next to me. He started by giving me a small kiss on the cheek. I loved when Edward kissed me. He brushed my hair aside and started kissing my neck some more. I tilted my head to give him better access, closing my eyes. I was so relaxed, I could have stayed like that for hours. I moved so I could find his lips and kissed his with mine. The electric buzz that always followed us was there. He was mine, all mine, for as long as I wanted him or needed him - which was forever.

"I missed you so much, Bella. I thought I lost you forever," he whispered into my ear. I just nodded and hummed, no words were needed.

He pulled away, and we both were panting as he held my hand and rubbed circles on my back. We spent a few hours together talking. We had so much to catch up on. I was dozing off when Edward asked if I was ready to go home, it had been a long day. I nodded and stood up, stretching my muscles.

He drove me home and walked me to the door, where I kissed him again. I watched as he drove away. I loved my cupcake.

A/N: *Wipe tears* I told you they would get back together and that there would be an HEA. I couldn't not do that to my favorite couple. They belong together and after everything Bella has gone through she needs some Edward lovin' don't you think? Just 2 more chapters and the Epi. Thanks to Lady Tazz for having faith in me from the beginning and crazierthanu for being that constraint rock by my side. Let me know what you think? I would love to hear from everyone so drop me a line or two.


	28. Chapter 28: The Happiest Place on Earth

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight I think everyone knows that, but I still wish I did or at least own Edward

**Chapter 28 **

**The Happiest Place on Earth**

The trial lasted two days. I was due on the witness stand the second day. My Dad and Mom went to the courthouse the first day to listen to the trial. I was a nervous wreck the following day. Edward insisted on coming with me. I didn't want him there although I felt comforted by his presence. They were going to make me out to be a bad person; that I was leading James on, giving him the wrong ideas.

It was not until after lunch that they called me to the stand. As soon as I got up there they asked me about attending school in Phoenix, my grades, cheerleading, and of course, about my partying. They asked if I'd ever talked to James at school or while he hung out with Victoria. I informed them that I rarely saw him with Victoria and I haddn't even really known him.

They tried to imply that my drinking might have gotten in the way of my memory; Mr. Webber objected. I was proud of myself because not once did I start to cry. They were done speaking to me and my attorney asked only a few questions, mainly about my volunteerism and grades. I guessed he was trying to show that I was a good student.

The cased closed and the verdict was now in the jury's hands.

Three hours and fifteen minutes later, the jury reached their verdict. James was found guilty on all charges and was sentenced to three years in the state prison system. I felt like it was not long enough, as he would be out in about a year and a half. He was never to make contact with me or be in the same vicinity as I was. It was not comforting.

"Come on, Baby, let's go," I heard Edward whisper to me. The trial was over but I was still sitting there waiting for what… I don't know.

"It's over Bells," I heard my Dad say. I nodded but I didn't feel relief. James needed help and I didn't think going to prison was going to help him.

Edward, my parents and I went to dinner after since we were in Seattle and then made the three hour trip back home. I fell asleep on the way back. I hadn't even woken up to Edward get out and get into his car to go home. Did he tell me "bye"?

I walked up to the house and went to my room, but sleep did not find me. I started hearing a lot of different noises. Even though I knew James was not able to get me, I couldn't help but think someone else was. I called Edward who answered on the first ring.

"Did you tell me bye when you left?" I asked when he answered the phone.

He chuckled. "Yes."

"Oh, I guess I was tired. I'm awake now though," I said, feeling really insecure that I wanted him to come over so I could sleep.

"Would it be too much trouble to ask you to come over? I can't sleep," I asked.

"Your Dad won't mind, will he?" Edward asked. I told him 'no' and that I would talk to him to let him know he was coming over, even though it was well after midnight.

"He might stay the night, I can't sleep," I added after telling my Dad about Edward's visit.

His response, "Keep your door open."

I led Edward to my room and I lay on my bed. I patted the space next to me so he would come beside me. I cuddled into his arms and I was out in minutes.

We all made plans to go to Florida and when I say we, I don't mean just Edward and I, like previously planned.

My parents decided that the same week Edward and I were going they were also going to look at some houses.

Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rose were meeting us in Florida to take the cruise to the Bahamas the following week.

Edward gave me a ticket for the cruise the day after graduation, stating that it was a graduation present, Valentine's Day present, and any other holiday we missed while we had been broken up. He said he got a good deal and not to make a big deal about it. I knew he was lying, but I gave in anyway. There was no reason to argue over something that he had already bought.

I sat next to Edward on the plane and my parents sat in front of us. I pulled the shade down when we took off. I pulled out my book, sat back in the seat and started reading. I read for awhile but started getting agitated about three hours into the flight. I got up to use the restroom; Edward just gave me a look. I stayed in there a few minutes catching my breath. I walked back to my seat and Edward took my hand, kissed it and pulled my feet up onto his lap.

"We are almost there," he whispered.

"Is Bella freaking out?" my Mom asked, turning around in her seat.

"Don't know why she does that on long flights," she giggled. I just ignored her. Why did she have to come with us anyway?

Once the plane landed we got our luggage and made our way over to the hotel. I was sharing a room with Edward no matter what my parents said. While my parents parked the car and grabbed their luggage, Edward and I checked in to our room and my Mom promised that they would not interfere, and that we should pretend they weren't there. But it confused me when she said she would see us at dinner in one hour.

"Edward, an entire week with my parents is not what I had in mind. You know they are not going to leave us alone no matter what Renee says." I was pacing the room. They had me so irritated.

"Bella, calm down, we have three days at Disneyworld and they are allowing us to share a room. Please humor them with dinner okay?" Why was he so rational?

I reluctantly agreed, so we met them for dinner after we got cleaned up. My Dad looked at us like he was expecting that there would be something different about meand he was trying to figure it out. He was freaking me out.

"What are your plans with Bella tonight?" my Dad asked Edward. I choked on my water.

"Ummm, we are pretty tired. I think we will just go to bed. I mean sleep, we will sleep," he stumbled on his words. "We need to get up early to go to Disneyworld anyway," he added.

"So Dad what will you and Mom be doing this evening - all alone in your hotel room?" Two can play that game.

"Bella!" my Dad screamed.

"I thought so, no more embarrassing questions," I told him.

Once we were done with dinner Edward and I went back to the hotel room.

"Sorry about my Dad," I told Edward.

"He just worries about you, Baby," he told me.

"I know, but seriously Edward. We are adults. Does he think I am going to be a little girl forever?" I rolled my eyes.

"You will always be his little girl, Bella," he told me. I knew that but I still think he should have trusted me.

I told Edward when we got back to the hotel that I was going to take a shower. I had bought a surprise for Edward before we left - a cupcake nightie. I was nervous all of a sudden, standing in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirror.

Taking a deep breath I walked out. Edward was laying on the bed looking at a brochure for Disneyworld, not even paying attention to me. I cleared my throat and he looked up at me.

His eyes lit up. "Baby?" Edward questioned. He held out his hand for me and I took it. He pulled me into his lap, running his hands down my sides. He reached up to move my hair away from my neck and started to kiss me. His lips on me were amazing, warm and soft; kissing and licking me with just enough pressure that my entire body tingled. I felt my pulse speeding and I might have even moaned a bit, but I didn't care.

"You are so beautiful, Bella," he whispered against my neck. It sent chills and goosebumps down my body.

I moved my legs so that I was now straddling him. I looked up into his eyes, kissing his lips softly. I pulled at the hem of his shirt lifting it up over his head and tossing it on the ground.

It was now or never; I needed him, I wanted him. We had waited so long to be together, considering all we had been through and all that I had overcome, I was ready to give myself to Edward.

Edward moved his hands down my back and back up again, but this time he lifted the nightie up. I lifted up my arms so he could remove it.

I was now straddling Edward in only my panties. We sat there for what seemed like forever just staring at each other.

Edward finally made a move and started kissing down my neck again moving one hand toward my breast, massaging it lightly with his hand. I leaned back, giving him better access, moaning slightly.

"Edward?" I breathed out.

"Hmmm?" he answered as he continued to suck and lick at my neck.

"Make love to me," I whispered.

At my words Edward looked up at me smiling.

"Are you sure you're ready?" he questioned; I just nodded.

Edward lifted me up setting me down on the bed. He grabbed my panties by the waistband, pulling them down and off.

I watched him as he took his pants and unbuttoned them pulling them down with his boxers, never breaking eye contact with me. Edward was stunning; every inch of him was beautiful. He crawled onto the bed hovering over me.

"I don't want to hurt you." He brushed the hair out of my face.

"I want this Edward, I want you. I've never been more sure of what I want than I am at this moment. You won't hurt me," I whispered.

Edward kneeled down between my legs, leaning forward to kiss my stomach; moving lower and lower, trailing his hands down my sides. He kissed my thighs, which sent another wave of chills and goosebumps over my skin. I laid there with my eyes closed.

As I felt his hands move between my legs, my breath hitched, not expecting it. He paused for a moment, but then continued. I felt him push a finger inside me, I lifted up my hips automatically as a small moan escaped my lips.

He continued moving his finger in and out of me, soon adding another finger, circling my clit and pushing back into me. I started moving my hips faster, wanting more friction. I should have been embarrassed at how wet I was, but it was the last thing on my mind.

Edward soon shifted and was hovering over me. Edward pressed himself a little closer to me. I could feel him right at my opening; waiting, teasing. I didn't know what he was waiting for. I shifted my hips up toward him to get some friction. I needed him so bad.

Edward groaned, leaning down to kiss my neck again. Inch by inch I could feel him moving in deeper. He was trying to take it as slow as possible. It was a sweet torture, but I needed more.

"Please, Edward," I begged.

In one thrust he was inside me. I winced and held my breath not expecting him to do that.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered against my neck.

I shook my head. "Just give me a minute."

Once the pain subsided I lifted my hips up to let him know we could continue. He slowly started moving in and out of me, feeling him stretch me further. I wrapped my legs around his waist letting him get in deeper.

"God, Bella, you are so beautiful," he mumbled.

I pulled his head towards mine, kissing his lips, opening my mouth slightly. I brought my tongue out sliding it across his lips requesting access into his mouth. He opened his mouth and met my tongue, massaging his with mine.

Slowly, oh so very slowly, he moved in and out of me. I wanted more; always wanted more. I could never get enough of Edward. Pushing him over slightly, he had a look of concern on his face not understanding what I wanted.

"I want to ride you," I whispered to him.

Climbing on top of him, straddling him, I positioned myself over his length, sliding him into me fully. I worked my hips back and forth, enjoying this position so much more. I could feel my entire body quiver. I knew I was close to reaching my peak; I wanted to take Edward over the edge with me.

Rocking and rotating my hips faster, I whispered, "I'm so close Edward." I closed my eyes.

Edward moaned at my words, grabbing my hips, lifting me up and down harder and faster. We were both panting by this point.

That is when it happened, my toes curled and entire body was vibrating as I screamed out Edward's name, riding wave after wave of my release.

Edward continued lifting me up and down by my hips, faster and faster until I felt him explode inside me.

"Damn, Bella," Edward mumbled. Both of us - breathing heavy - were riding out the remainder of our orgasms.

Opening my eyes, I looked down at him, smiling. He pulled my head down, kissing me softly.

"That was amazing, Bella. Are you ok?" Edward questioned.

I just nodded, not wanting him to know I had pain.

He pulled me close to him holding me against his chest, kissing my head.

"I love you Bella," he whispered. I nodded as tears fell down my eyes. I am not sure why I was crying, everything was so overwhelming. I loved Edward, more than anything. Trying to hide the tears and the little amount of pain I was feeling, I got up to walk toward the bathroom.

"I think I am going to take a shower again," I told him.

After my shower, Edward was already in bed waiting for me. I crawled in, cuddling up to Edward, and he wrapped his arms around me.

"Are you sure you're okay Bella?" Edward whispered.

"I'm good, a little sore, but good." I smiled. Snuggling closer to Edward I fell into a restful sleep. The best sleep I had ever had.

The next morning I woke up to pounding on my door. I groaned and rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. It was 7 a.m., I was on vacation, this was so wrong.

I opened the door to find my Dad smiling down at me.

"What do you want? We are sleeping." I asked him, yawning and wrapping my arms around myself.

"Thought you kids would like to join us for breakfast," he suggested.

"No, I'm going back to sleep." I walked back into my room and slammed the door closed, waking up Edward in the process. I threw myself on the bed and groaned. He was never going to let me grow up.

The shuttle from the hotel took us to Disneyworld. I was excited. Edward and I spent the day sightseeing and going on rides. The place was so big it was impossible to see it all in one day. We had a three-day pass and one of those days we were going to the water park.

Some of our time was spent with my parents unfortunately. We would have breakfast with them and then we would go off to do our thing and meet back for dinner. By the time we got back to the hotel I was exhausted.

I took a shower and fell asleep before Edward was done with his shower.

The day at the water park was lot of fun. Edward and I went on all the slides that allowed two at a time. I was chicken and didn't want to go alone.

"Make sure you put on extra sunscreen. I don't want you to get burned," Edward reminded me. My fair skin often burned within a few hours even after I applied sunscreen.

Alice called while we were on our way back to the hotel. They were arriving the next day. We were all staying in our hotel room and leaving on the cruise the next day. My parents were leaving the same day our friends were arriving.

I was tired again and slightly toasted; I think I had a little sun exhaustion. Edward helped me back to the hotel. I felt terrible. I had a headache and was dizzy. I hated that I got this way from being in the sun all day. What was going to happen to me when we got to the Bahamas'?

We said goodbye to my parents and welcomed our friends. I was glad my Mom and Dad had left. I felt like I could finally relax and not have to worry about my Dad thinking I was up to no good.

"Bella!" Alice squealed when she got to the room. She wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. You would think that she had not seen me in years, instead of a few days. Emmett and Rosalie walked in next; Rose was pissed about something. Jasper was last placing six bags down next to the bed.

"Pack enough, Jasper?" Edward teased.

"This…" Jasper said, pointing to a small bag. "…is mine." He pointed to the rest. "…all of this is Alice's."

We all shook our heads, except Alice.

"What is up with you two?" Edward asked looking at Emmett and Rose. They hadn't said two words to each other or to anyone else.

"Why don't you ask the insensitive ass," Rose spat.

"Babe, come on. I said I was sorry, if you want to live together off campus that is fine with me." He tried to reach for her but she pulled away.

"Maybe you guys should go get some water and soda or something," I suggested to Edward. I thought Rose needed to talk.

After they left, Rose let out a frustrated huff and started ranting.

"I just suggested that we live together. What is the point of going to school together if we can't live together? You know what he said? He liked his space. What does that mean? He doesn't want me that close? I'd hardly say I suffocate him. I thought he would want it, that's all." I felt sorry for Rose. I thought they would move in together too.

"Well, you know Edward is getting an apartment and I am going to live in the dorm. I have to, as a condition of my scholarship. I know I will probably spend the majority of my time at Edward's anyway. Maybe he wants to live in a dorm," I thought out loud, trying to come up with a solution for her.

"No, he said he was planning on going to look at apartments when we get back, but he didn't even tell me that he had planned that. I just feel that he doesn't want to be with me anymore." Rose looked so sad.

I had never seen her like this. Before we had time to finish our conversation the guys were back.

It was kind of awkward with Rose and Em not getting along. Rose sat on the bed and Em on the floor. Jasper and Alice were sitting on the couch, with me on Edward's lap in a chair.

"Let's play a game," Alice suggested.

"I don't feel like playing a game," Rose said.

"Damn it, Rose, are you going to be a bitch all weekend?" Emmett spat.

"Emmett," I reprimanded. I didn't like him talking to her like that.

"Bella, stay out of it," Edward said, which only made me angrier. Was he taking Emmett's side?

"Don't tell me what to do. He obviously hurt her by telling her that he doesn't want to live with her. So what? You wouldn't let me move in with you?" I argued.

"I just don't think he should be pressured and I wouldn't want to be pressured either. It is going to be hard enough to even keep up with school," he added.

"What does that mean? You don't think we should be together because it is going to be too hard?" I was upset now. I stood up, folded my arms in front of me and tapped my foot.

"I didn't say that. I just meant living together brings on added stress," he said calmly.

"So I stress you?" I questioned.

"Bella, you are putting words in my mouth - no Baby. Why are we even arguing about this?" He walked over to me putting his arms around me.

Emmett and Rose busted up laughing. Rose rolled onto the floor and sat next to Emmett who was throwing his head back with laughter.

"You two started fighting over us. That is the most ridiculous thing I ever saw," Emmett laughed.

I, on the other hand, did not find it funny.

"Bella, come on, stop being stubborn and drop it. Let's play a game," Alice squealed.

I wasn't in the mood to play though. I couldn't believe Edward would not want to live with me. I knew we couldn't, but the simple fact that he didn't want to made me sad.

I didn't speak to anyone for the rest of the night. I tuned them out and I fell asleep. Emmett and Rose took the other bed and Alice and Jasper got the roll-away we had requested. I felt Edward crawl into bed and put his arms around me, kissing the back of my neck.

"Why are we arguing about something that is not even an option for us? I love you, Baby. I hate to argue with you, forgive me?" He kissed my head again and held me tighter. I could never stay mad at him when he held me like this.

We got up early the next morning, getting our things together. We took a taxi to the loading docks to board the boat. We would be spending three days at sea, three days in the Bahamas and another three days back to Florida.

Once we got on board, we put our things in the cabin. The cabin looked small from the outside but was pretty big on the inside. I realized that we did not get the regular cabin.

This room looked better than the hotel we had just stayed in. I looked around taking everything in. The walls were soft beige. It had one bed and a small table and two chairs. The bathroom was all tiled and had only a shower, no bath, a sink and toilet.

We made our way to the side of the boat and joined our friends. We participated in the bon voyage ceremony. The boat pulled away from the dock and we took our time walking around, taking in the sights. About an hour after we set sail the nausea set in, even though I took medication.

"I think I need to lie down," I told Edward. I really was not feeling too well.

"Hey, guys, Bella is feeling sick so we are going to go back to our room. We will catch up with you in a while," Edward told our friends.

I got to the room and laid on the bed. It did not help since I still felt the motion of the boat - the ups and downs. I felt like I was on a roller coaster and my stomach was trying to catch up to the rest of my body.

Edward brought a wash cloth and placed it on my forehead. They said that you get used to the motion after twenty-four hours; I hoped they were right.

I puked twice within a couple of hours. I slept after taking more motion sickness medication.

I woke up a few hours later and Edward was sitting in a chair reading a book I had brought with me.

"Feel better, Baby?" he asked, walking over to me. Although I was not feeling better, I lied. I didn't want to ruin it for Edward, so I nodded. It was already dinner time and we had to meet up with the rest of our friends.

After dinner we were going to get ready to go to one of the clubs they had on the boat - the only one that was for 18 and over; not just 21 and over.

I started feeling better and I was looking forward to going out with our friends, which was the whole point to this vacation anyway. We danced for a while and hung out. I danced with the girls. They played one slow song, which Edward and I dance together to - wrapped in each other's arms, the only place I ever want to be.

The next day all of us girls laid out by the pool while the guys went and played golf. I didn't know that you could play golf on a ship; I was surprised that you could.

The next day we were getting off the ship, thank God. Although my motion sickness had eased up, it did not completely go away.

"So the resort we are staying at has a hot club we should check out. You do know that it is legal to drink alcohol at the age of 18 in the Bahamas, right?" Alice nodded proudly. "We're going to party!" she exclaimed.

Once off the boat the scene was beautiful. The water was the most beautiful shade of blue green I had ever seen and you could actually see the sea floor. There was a slight breeze and even though it was kind of humid, it was nothing I couldn't get used to.

There was a shuttle that took us to our Villa. Alice had found this place. Alice checked us all in.

All the villas were like private houses and had their own balconies and patios. They had three private rooms each with their own showers, a full kitchen and living area. It was like a home away from home, only with the beach as your back yard. Ours had a few hammocks I was going to have to explore with Edward.

"We can buy food and cook in or we can eat out, it is up to all of you," Alice suggested as she walked to her room. Jasper followed behind her with all their bags.

Edward and I took the room that was on the first floor and the other two took the rooms upstairs. Alice called to all of us to meet her in the living area to go over the itinerary for the next three days.

"Tonight we are going to Club Eclipse 18 and order all the drinks you want. I heard they had a live band tonight, should be good. Tomorrow us girls are going to the spa, leaving you guys to your own devices - just don't get into trouble. Our last day we are going snorkeling and para-sailing. Bella, I don't want to hear a word from your mouth." How did she know I was going to object. "Since we are going out tonight I suggest we eat out and tomorrow the girls will cook. We will go to town and buy some food. Our last night, we will play it by ear," she added, smiling and nodding. No one argued.

We all got ready to go out. I wore a little black dress and flats. Alice said there was no need to get too dressy since the club was basically on the beach with a dance floor. Edward wore dark jeans and a silver button down; he could look hot in just about anything.

We got to the club early so there were not a lot of people there yet. I guessed things didn't get busy until after 10 p.m.; we still had a few hours.

Alice grabbed us all shots, handing each one of us a half of lime and salt. I had never had tequila before. 1, 2, 3 and we all drank it down. It burned and I held some of it in my mouth. I licked the lime and salt and it helped it go down. That stuff was awful. After that we each got fruity drinks and the guys grabbed beers.

The band started playing and the music was nice. I was starting to feel that buzz from the shot. I sipped my drink slowly; I didn't want to get drunk tonight. Alice had other plans.

Edward stayed close and even followed me to the bathroom for the third time in one hour.

"Sorry, I have to pee again," I apologized. The alcohol was going right through me. When I came out he was talking to some girl that I didn't like. Not that I knew her, I just didn't like that she was talking to him.

"Ummm, excuse me." I walked between them pulling Edward with me. I pulled him onto the dance floor and started dancing with him. Alice called to us to have another shot of something. Edward declined but, what the heck, I shot it back and downed it in one gulp.

"Are you okay, Baby?" Edward asked. I nodded my head. I was feeling more than okay. I had not felt this care-free in a long time. I knew I was with Edward and he would take care of me; if not I would have never let my guard down.

"Let's dance!' Alice shouted to me and Rose. The band was no longer playing, they were playing CD's now. Rosalie started dancing with some guy and I asked her what she was doing; Em was going to be pissed.

"Just teeassssing… Um," she slurred. Yeah, maybe she should have stopped drinking.

"Okay," I responded. I looked over at Edward, he was just watching me. I waved to him; he waved back. Damn I had to pee again. I walked over and grabbed Edward.

'You have to pee," he said. How did he know? I nodded and he followed me to the bathroom.

"You know, yyyyyyou don'ttt need to pppprotect me I can pee on mmmy own," I slurred.

"Right, Bella" he laughed. "You can't even talk right and you bumped into the wall three times."

"Maybe we should call it a night," Edward suggested. I was looking forward to going back to the villa. Edward and I could spend some time alone. I nodded and followed him to where our friends were. We told them we were leaving.

I was glad the villa was not too far. We had to stop so Edward could take off my shoes and then again so he could pick up my purse that I spilled everything out of.

Once back I took off my dress and started looking for my pajamas. Not finding them, I took off my bra and panties.

"Bella, do you plan on putting on clothes? Not that I mind but you're in the living area and someone could come in," Edward huffed. He pulled me to the room and I laid on the bed while he searched for my pajamas.

"Edward, let's have sex," I said. My filter definitely was not working.

"Bella, let's go to sleep," he said. I didn't want to sleep, I wanted to cuddle, make out, and be with him.

"I want you, Edward. Now, please?" I begged. I started kissing him and he in return kissed me but I knew he was holding back. I moved to his lap and he started kissing down my neck.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I nodded. I needed him, wanted him - forever.

As he continued to kiss me, his hands roamed over my body. It felt so good.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too," he said between kisses.

Everything was hazy in the morning. My head was pounding and I felt like it was going to explode. I was so hung over. I was trying to remember what had happened when we got back to the room. I was looking for pajamas and Edward was trying to get me into bed to go to sleep. We were kissing and… Oh my God. I fell asleep on him. Nothing could have been more embarrassing.

There was a bottle of water and Tylenol on the bed table next to me. I wondered where Edward was. Was he mad at me? I took the Tylenol and rolled over, I needed to go back to sleep.

"Morning, sunshine!" Alice's high-pitched voice echoed in the room. Why was she so happy when all I wanted to do was die?

"Where is Edward?" I asked. I owed him an apology.

"He's gone. They went to play golf, but he left a note for you." She handed me the note.

**Bella – Hope you are not feeling too bad this morning. I didn't want to wake you. I love you.**

Well he didn't seem mad at least. Rose came in a few minutes later. She looked like I felt.

"My head is pounding," she said, putting her hands to her head.

"Come on, the spa will help. You both have twenty minutes to get up and out the door." Alice patted me.

Alice was right. Once I got up and left for the spa, it was wonderful. I felt relaxed and the headache went away. I had a nice massage and after we had lunch.

"So what did the two of you do when you got back to the Villa?" Alice asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nothing, I fell asleep." It wasn't a total lie. She looked at me like I was hiding something but I ignored her.

After the spa we took a taxi into town to the small grocery store. We decided to make Chicken Alfredo, since it was something I knew how to make. Alice grabbed a bottle of wine to go with dinner.

The guys were back when we got back to the villa. They were playing games on the X-Box that was in the living area. They all had beers and I assumed had been drinking for awhile because they were being quite loud.

"Hey, Cupcake," I said walking over to give Edward a kiss.

"Hey, Baby, have a nice time at the spa?" he asked kissing me again.

"You didn't fall asleep did you?" Emmett chuckled. He told them!

"You told them!" I pulled away.

"Thanks, Emmett." He threw a pillow at him.

"Told them what?" Rose asked walking into the room.

"That Bella fell asleep while they were getting frisky." Emmett laughed.

I would have never told the girls something so personal and here he was telling the guys about us. I was mortified to say the least and I must have been ten shades of red. I felt it creep up over my chest to my face, I bet even my ears were red. They were all laughing at my expense.

I walked into the kitchen and started to cook. Edward followed me but I ignored him.

I think I only said two sentences to Edward for the rest of the night and that was just, "pass the salad" and "pass the rolls". He apologized but it did nothing to make me feel better.

Everyone was laughing and having fun but me; even Edward joined in with the rest of them, ignoring me. I had enough so I got up and went to bed, locking the door behind me.

The next morning I woke up to pounding on the door. It was already 10 a.m.; I couldn't believe I had slept so late. I thought it would be Edward but I found Alice instead. She said I missed breakfast but she refused to let me miss out on the snorkeling and para-sailing.

With no shower, I walked out in my sundress and bikini ready to soak in the sun with Alice.

Edward walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes, since I had had time to cool off, realizing that it was not that big of a deal. We still had to talk about it, but I overreacted and I locked him out of the room, which was really childish on my part.

"I love you," he whispered. I turned around to face him. It looked like he had not slept at all and his hair was messier than usual.

'I love you too," I whispered back, pulling him to me and giving him a chaste kiss on the mouth. I would have done more but I had Alice in my ear telling me we had to get a move on.

The snorkeling was wonderful. The ocean was so blue and clear; the fish swam right by. I was mesmerized by the entire experience. Edward and I stayed close together, enjoying everything.

The para-sailing was an entirely different story. I was terrified. Emmett went first after they explained everything to all of us and we watched a short video about safety. That didn't help.

Rose was also afraid so Emmett was allowed to go with her. Alice and Jasper went next. I told Edward I was chicken and didn't want to go so he went without me.

It was terrifying watching him, so high up in the air being pulled by a boat. Something happened and the boat stalled, sending Edward into the water before the boat could take off again. I almost jumped off the side of the boat. He came up a few seconds later waving to us, but it didn't make me feel any better. The boat circled and they pulled him in.

'Are you hurt?" I asked hugging myself to him.

"I'm fine Bella. Do you want to go with me?" he asked. Was he joking? I was terrified before, now I was petrified.

After five minutes of Edward's sweet talking, I found myself hoisted up with him to go para-sailing. What I wouldn't do for that guy. I screamed and cried almost the entire time.

"Open your eyes, Bella," he told me. I had them shut the entire time. I just shook my head. Once I did open my eyes it was beautiful. I was glad I had done it after all.

We all decided that since it was the last night on the island we would just stay in and order room service. All of us went to bed early that night.

The next day we made a mad dash to the loading dock to get back on the ship. We had the wrong departing time and almost missed it.

Once we were back on and the motion sickness returned, I was exhausted. I slept the entire first day on the boat. Edward and I didn't leave the room on the second day except to eat lunch and dinner. On the third night we hung out with the others on the deck enjoying the breeze of the ocean and talking.

I couldn't wait to catch the flight back home. It was a busy two weeks and the best time of my life…so far.

A/N: Glad B & E didn't let the parentals ruin all the fun *wink* One more chapter left *cries* Thanks to everyone that has taken this journey with me especially LadyTazz for prereading and carzierthanu for being the best beta around.


	29. Chapter 29: The Fork in the Road

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters are not mine. Long A/N at the end…enjoy!

**Chapter 29 BPOV**

**The Fork in the Road**

Time flew by when we got back home. Edward's birthday was coming up in a few days. Everyone decided to keep it low key. Dinner with Carlisle and Esme; then the gang was going down to La Push for a bonfire. I still had the necklace I bought at Christmas time for Edward. I was going to give it to in him for his birthday instead.

It was still kind of cold even though it was the middle of June. Em and Rose set up the bonfire while we were having dinner. After dinner Edward drove us to the beach. Once parked I told him I wanted to give him his present.

"Here," I said, handing him the little box. I had already given him a shirt at his house but I wanted us to be alone for this one.

"What's this?" he asked.

"I bought it for you at Christmas. It gave me hope that one day I would be able to give it to you," I told him, motioning for him to open it.

I watched as he unwrapped the silver paper and black bow. He pulled out the necklace and looked at it with a smile on his face.

"I love it, Baby. Thank you so much." He leaned over to kiss me, then put the necklace on.

"I want to meet Carmen," he said out of the blue. Huh? Did I want him to meet Carmen? Did I want him there when I had a session with her? He must have seen the look on my face.

"I don't have to be there when you talk to her. I just want to meet her. I know you talk highly of her and she has helped you so much," he added.

I nodded. "I will set up a session and let you know," I informed him.

Looking out from the car I could see the other people on the beach. We got out of the car and walked towards them. They had chairs and blankets for everyone. Emmett was making s'mores, or rather making a mess. I swear he was like a kid.

"EM, what are you doing?" I asked. He had chocolate all over his hands and the marshmallows were burnt to a crisp. I took over the s'more duty and handed everyone theirs.

After midnight we all gathered up our things and went home.

Edward dropped me off but not before a quick make-out session.

The next day I made an appointment for Edward and I to meet with Carmen on the following Thursday. I was a bit nervous.

"Good afternoon, Bella," Carmen greeted me and her eyes moved to Edward.

"This must be the Edward I have heard so much about." She held out her hand. "I'm Dr. Eleazer, but you can call me Carmen." Edward shook her hand.

"I must say, Bella, your description of him is impeccable, and exactly how I pictured him." She smiled at me. I turned red. Edward looked at me but I said nothing.

"You have shared your stories with him, right?" she questioned me, but I knew Carmen and she knew me. I had not shared the stories I wrote about Edward with him.

"What stories?" Edward asked.

"I wrote some fiction in my journal but Carmen believes they are about you," I admitted, giving Carmen a look.

"But aren't they?" she questioned me again. Damn her.

"So why are you both here today?" Carmen asked, changing the subject.

Edward spoke first. "I wanted to meet the person that has helped Bella. I doubt that without your help we would be together," he informed her. "So, thank you." he added.

We talked about college and informed her that we would be attending the same place. Carlisle and Edward would be leaving the next week to spend a week in Chicago to find an apartment close to school.

"How are you holding up, Bella? Any fears about going away to school?" she asked.

I had a lot of fears. I would be living on my own, away from my parents. I would be sharing the dorm with someone I didn't know. How would Edward and my relationship change? I had all these questions, but I didn't want Edward to hear them; he would worry because I was worried.

"I'm sure you both are worried about how your relationship is going to change. Edward, with you going into medical school, there is going to be little time for socializing. You both are going to have to come up with a way to balance both school and your relationship. Give each other space when needed, because studying and finals are hard and you both will be struggling the first few years. Also, be there for each other even if it is to vent and try not to judge because both of you are going to think that your school work is harder than the other's. They are equally important." After her rant I asked Edward if he minded waiting out in the hall. He got up and left, shaking hands with Carmen on the way out.

"What if Edward doesn't have time for me?"

"Did you just not hear my speech?" Carmen asked. I had but I needed reassurance and I hated it.

"What if he meets someone, more like him and he leaves me?" All my insecurities were showing.

"What do you mean someone like him?" Carmen asked.

"You've seen him right? He is beautiful, smart…," I trailed off.

"And you are...?" Carmen trailed off too.

"Bella, that boy is madly in love with you. I saw it all over his face. He would move heaven and earth for you. I don't think another woman will ever tear his eyes away from you. You have nothing to worry about."

My session ended and I felt a lot better. She said I needed to talk to Edward about how I was feeling. I hugged her because that was probably the last time I was going to see her.

"Oh, and Bella," she started as I got to the door, "don't forget to invite me to the wedding," she added. I rolled my eyes… wedding.

Edward and Carlisle were leaving for Chicago. He wanted me to go but I had a lot of things I had to do at home. My parents found a house in Florida and I needed to help them pack. I did, however, go with Esme to drop them off at the airport.

"Love, I have something for you." Edward reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a small box. "I also bought you something for Valentine's," he chuckled.

I looked at the pink and black box, it was from an Irish folk store. I opened to find a beautiful, silver bracelet. Edward reached for the bracelet and put it on my wrist.

"It stands for true love - no ending or beginning - two circles that come together as one. That is our love. I love you, Baby." He kissed me on the lips. I couldn't help but get tears in my eyes. I never thought we would get to this point.

"I love you, Cupcake, more than words. Go find your apartment and then come back to me. I hate being away from you," I whispered the last part.

"I know me too." He rubbed my arms for comfort.

They got on the plane and Esme and I cried. I really was not sure why she was crying but I was because it was going to be an entire week without Edward. Even though Alice and Rose wanted to spend some girl time this week and I would be busy with my parents, I would still miss him.

"Bella, we are a mess. I say we go grab some lunch." Esme patted my arm.

"Are you going to miss Carlisle?" I asked.

"Yes. Oh, you think that is why I was crying?" she asked with a chuckle which confused me. I nodded. 

"No, dear, I'll survive without him. After you been married as long as we have, it is nice when the other goes away. But don't ever tell them that or let them know that is how you feel. It's just, my baby is going away to school in a month and I'm going to miss him. That's all. I guess the realization just hit me."

"Oh, yeah, I guess so. Why didn't you go with them to find the apartment?" I asked.

"I wouldn't make it, Bella. I would be crying at every stop we make. I don't want him to feel guilty for going away to school. I want him to have a good experience so Carlisle said he would take him." Her next words surprised me.

"You'll take care of him right, Bella? Make sure he eats and gets enough sleep? I don't want him to stress too much and make sure he behaves. He's so much like Carlisle. I know he will stress you out and you are going to want to kill him, but he will always make it up to you, so give him some slack when he needs it. But if he is a total jerk, let me know. I will straighten him out." She giggled.

"You have my word, Esme." I promised her.

After lunch Esme dropped me off at home. I started to help my Mom clean out a few things and pack to keep my mind off Edward. Later that night we exchanged a few texts that I was so thankful for.

**just checked in the hotel miss you ~Edward**

**Miss you too so much I love you ~Bella**

**Me too Dad and I are going to have dinner ttyl ~E**

**Bye~B**

The next few days went like this: miss Edward, pack, miss Edward, cry, miss Edward... you get the picture. The house was almost all packed up and we were eating dinner with paper plates, cups, and plastic forks, or eating at the diner. My room was so bare that I hardly recognized it.

Alice and Rose came over and took me out to the movies and dinner. Edward would be back in a few days but I hadn't heard from him since that first night.

"Missing your boy?" Rose asked. I must have been zoning out because I couldn't recall what they were even talking about.

"Yeah, he hasn't called. I'm worried, I can't sleep. I hate this!" I threw up my hands in frustration.

"I swear, Bella, you and Edward get so worked up when you two are not within reach. It is kind of pathetic how you guys are dependent on each other." Alice rolled her eyes. If only she knew how co-dependent we were.

After I got home I had to call him; I couldn't take it any more. After the third ring he answered.

"Hi, Baby," Edward said with a yawn.

"Hi, I missed hearing your voice," I told him.

"I know, I'm sorry that I haven't called. We found an apartment. You'll love it. It is only one room but it has a huge kitchen and it is only two blocks from school which means only two blocks from you. My Dad put the deposit down and it will be all mine next month. We are coming back after Fourth of July to furnish it." This information made me sad. I didn't know why but I felt like Edward was moving on without me.

"That's good," I offered, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing, Cupcake. I'm just tired and miss you, that's all," I said.

"I have to go, Love."

I told him 'bye' and got ready for bed. It was going to be a long couple of days.

Edward and Carlisle returned a few days later in the middle of the night. Edward sent me a text letting me know he had made it home and was tired and he would call me when he woke up later in the day. I rolled over, then got up. It was useless to try and go back to sleep.

When the sun came up I went to the diner and grabbed three breakfast plates for my parents and myself. I woke them up when I got back and we ate in the living area watching old cartoons. It felt so good to spend this time with my Mom and Dad.

"I think I am driving you to college," my Dad said out of the blue.

"Huh?"

"Yeah, you are going to need your car and I don't feel that you should drive all the way by yourself. If you don't want to ride with me you can go with Edward and I will follow in your car, but either way I am going. Now knowing my Dad this was more than him just driving me there. He wasn't ready to let me go and wanted to spend as much time with me as possible.

"Okay, Dad. I don't know Edward's plans yet, maybe his parents are doing the same. I need to talk to him first," I informed him.

Edward came over later in the day. We went for a walk and he told me all about his apartment.

"My Dad wants to drive with me to school, because he doesn't want me driving by myself, which I hadn't even thought about," I told him.

"I think that's great, Baby. I would be worried about you driving by yourself too. My Dad and I are driving out next month, when we set the apartment up. We are leaving my car and flying back. I'm taking most of my stuff then and flying out when it is time to start school," he explained.

I don't know what had me so worked up and why I was feeling so emotional, but at that moment I just started crying. I could not control it any more. I sat on the curb, held myself and sobbed. I felt like Edward was starting a different life from me even though we were going to be together. I felt bad that I really wanted to drive out with him and we had never talked about it.

He already had made a plan – without me.

"Bella, Baby, what's wrong? Did I do something? Talk to me, Love," Edward cooed sitting next to me, rubbing my back.

"I'm just being stupid and hormonal I guess." I wiped the tears away.

"I feel like you are making plans without me and I know it is stupid. I guess I had this thought that we would go together. I shouldn't have just assumed and now I am disappointed. I'm sorry."

"Baby, everything will work out. I can go with you and your Dad, if you want. Whatever will make you happy and less stressed. Just don't cry any more please. I love you and I'm not moving on without you or planning anything without you. I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He kissed my forehead and I felt bad for making him feel guilty.

We spent the rest of the day together with my parents. Edward helped us pack and my mom pulled out my baby pictures to embarrass me.

"Bella was such a good baby; give her a bottle and her blankie and she was happy. She would lay there on the floor. Never gave me trouble, until it was time to potty train."

"Mom, please, stop with the baby stories." Could I get any more embarrassed?

"I want to hear this," Edward said all enthusiastic.

"She would refuse to use the restroom, no matter what I tried," my Mom started. "You know how stubborn she is." Edward nodded.

"She would wait until I took her off the toilet, then she would go in her pants. She would hide in the corner and pee or poop her pants." My Mom laughed.

"Mom!" I huffed. "This conversation is over."

After that Edward went home. I packed all the baby photos, not wanting to visit that conversation again.

The following month Edward, Carlisle and I went to Chicago to furnish Edward's apartment. Esme wanted to go but at the last minute had to do a walk-through of a house she had just renovated.

Carlisle and Edward had planned to take turns driving for twelve hours, stop to sleep and drive another twelve hours and so on. Little did they know I would need more stops than that.

"I have to pee and I'm hungry. When are we stopping?" I asked from the back seat.

"Baby, not for another few hours." Edward looked back to me.

"I suppose we can stop at the next exit if you like, Bella." Carlisle looked at me through the rearview mirror.

I peed and grabbed some snacks. That was stop number one. I must have fallen asleep for awhile because when I woke Edward was driving and it was night time. They were talking about baseball.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Somewhere in Idaho. Are you hungry? We stopped to get a burger. I got one for you." Edward smiled at me.

"You let me sleep through a stop? I have to pee, when will we be stopping again?"

"Bella, we won't be stopping again for about an hour and a half when we reach the hotel," Edward told me, quite firmly I might add.

"But it has been like six hours, I really have to go," I pleaded.

"I'm not stopping Bella. Just hold it, you used to do it as a child." He snickered.

"No, I need to go now!"

"Baby, Love, please - I don't want to stop. We are already behind because of other stops we had to make," Edward added.

"Stops you had to make because of me? Well I'm sorry my presence has made you run behind," I huffed.

"Maybe you should stop," Carlisle told Edward and looked back at me. I was so angry at Edward by this point.

Reluctantly he pulled into a rest stop. It was dark and creepy; I didn't want to go out there by myself.

"What are you waiting for?" Edward huffed.

"It's kind of dark out there," I whimpered, hoping he would get the message and come with me. Did I really need to ask him? Shouldn't his over-protectiveness come into play?

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Edward got out of the car and opened the back door for me to get out.

"Why are you mad at me?" I asked, tears forming in my eyes. I turned away from him so he wouldn't notice.

With a heavy sigh Edward walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed me on the lips and rested his head on mine.

"I'm sorry I was so short with you. I will try and be more patient. I know you get antsy when you are confined to one place." He kissed me again and we walked to the restrooms. They were gross with no toilet paper so I opted to hold it, though I didn't tell Edward this.

We finally made it to the hotel and checked in. We walked into the room and I ran straight for the bathroom, letting out a big sigh and a loud "Ah". I walked out and Edward and Carlisle were staring at me.

"I had to go really, really bad." I blushed and walked to get my pajamas.

Once we all were ready for bed, I turned on the TV and watched while the other two snored, one of them right in my ear. I tried to move but Edward just held onto me tighter.

When the alarm went off at 6 a.m., I didn't want to wake up; I had only been asleep for an hour.

I slept in the car but made them promise to wake me up if they made any stops. I woke up to eat lunch. I fell back to sleep for awhile. I offered to drive so they could rest but both declined. I read for a some time but I started to get the feeling of confinement again.

I saw a mall on the side of the highway and after some quick talking on my part they stopped and said we could look around for an hour. Yeah, shopping even sounded better than driving another six hours. I found some cute shirts which I bought. We decided to eat at Chile's since we were already stopped. Edward and I shared a chocolate volcano. It was delicious. Carlisle went to use the restroom and Edward attacked me. We hadn't really had a moment to be by ourselves to just make out. A few kisses here or there that were appropriate in front of Carlisle, but that was it. It really was not appropriate in the restaurant but we couldn't help it. He was kissing my neck and I was up against him - until Carlisle came out and cleared his throat.

"Sorry, Dad," Edward said pulling away from me. We left Chile's, driving another few hours until we stopped in Wisconsin for the night. Edward decided to sit with me in the back, hoping that it would appease me enough that I wouldn't get antsy for the next seven hours. He rubbed my feet and we talked about music. The three of us played that stupid license plate game. I fell asleep on Edward and he woke me up when we got to the hotel.

Carlisle was asleep before I finished in the shower and Edward was in bed when I walked out, but he was awake. He held out his arms to me and I crawled beside him. He held me for awhile and I was asking him about the apartment until I heard a soft snoring coming from him. He was so tired from driving. I started to move off him but he held on to me.

"Stay," he whispered. I curled back up next to him and fell asleep in his arms.

The next day we hit the road again, we would be in Chicago in about three hours.

Carlisle pulled into an apartment complex. It had a security gate. Carlisle talked to the guard and told him the apartment number. They already had Edward's name and he showed us where to park the car.

We checked in with the office and got the keys. The lady was a little over-friendly with Edward, if you asked me. Her name was Heidi and she found it so fascinating that he was going to be studying to be a doctor. I would have to keep my eye on that one.

"What?" Edward questioned but I just shook my head.

Edward's apartment was on the tenth floor. Edward opened the door and picked me up. I wondered what he was doing until I realized he was carrying me over the threshold.

"Isn't that supposed to be when we get married?" I asked.

"No, and you know this apartment is as much yours as it is mine," he added. He was so cute.

We all went to the local furniture store and helped Edward pick out furniture. I wondered why Esme would send Carlisle and Edward out to decorate the apartment when neither of them knew what they were doing. The couches they picked wouldn't fit. Finally I helped them pick a leather couch and recliner. Edward said I could choose all of the kitchen equipment and that he probably wouldn't ever use it unless I was over anyway.

Next was the bathroom. I saw some pretty purple towels but Edward refused. He said if I wanted one purple towel I could have it but it would never be seen. He settled for black and white.

Next on the list was the bedroom. Edward and I walked around looking at mattresses. Edward even laid down on a few and asked me to lay with him. I felt embarrassed since his father was with us. Edward finally decided on a king size bed, which would take up his entire room but he didn't mind. I helped him pick out sheets.

We spent six hours inside that store and Carlisle spent $6000. Finally, Edward had everything he needed. The furniture was being delivered the next day.

After the furniture arrived and everything was put away we walked to the campus to look around. I found the dorm that I would most likely be staying in; it looked huge and intimidating.

We stayed the night at Edward's. Carlisle slept on the couch and we had the bedroom. I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed. After all the unpacking I was exhausted.

We got up early to go to the airport the next morning. Carlisle informed Heidi that Edward's car would be there until he returned for school.

"I'll keep my eye on it. See you around," she added. The hell you will, I thought.

"I'll see you as well as we both will be here in the fall," I added. Her face fell.

Yeah, he's mine.

Time was going by so fast. I got all my things packed and loaded in the car for the long trip to school. We were leaving two weeks early because my Dad was not one to drive for twelve hours at a time. The night before we left, Edward and I stayed with our parents, enjoying the last night with them. My Mom and I cried all night. Edward came over in the morning with Esme and Carlisle. He had just one duffle bag as I had several suitcases, my laptop and the necessities.

We cried when we said 'bye' to Esme and Carlisle.

"Take care of my boy," Esme told me when we hugged.

"You know I will, I love you, Esme," I assured her.

"I love you too, sweetie."

I already said 'bye' to my Mom. I didn't want to cry any more as she was not able to handle seeing me go and decided to stay inside. I understood.

My Dad got into the driver's seat, I got into the passenger side while Edward went into the back seat. My Dad started the car and we drove off, ready to start the next chapter of our lives, together.

The End

A/N: *wiping away tears* Well, there you go. It was a long journey, not for Edward and Bella, but for Bella herself. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read and review, it means so much to me, more than I can ever thank you. I wrote this story over a year ago, never intending on posting it. I did it for me, to give me something to do, since I could never get thoughts of Bella and Edward out of my head. It was LadyTazz and crazierthanu who actually pushed me and gave me the confidence to post this. I love you both. To Theunderstudy for loving my Cupcake as much as I do. A special thanks to Delecia, wow, where do I even begin? You have been my rock in so many of the situations I find myself in. Thanks for holding my hand through everything.


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